damned_institute | DAY 23: BREAKFAST

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DAY 23: BREAKFAST

That hadn't felt like an entire night.

And his goddamn head hurt. Pounded, even. Enough that he wondered if he was going to end up playing another round of "Christen the nurse" this morning.

Maybe it was because he'd spent so much time and energy trying to find Nowe. That could be the reason behind both those problems. Just the thought of it made his stomach turn, made him want to fucking choke something.

Still, there was shit to do. He forced himself out of bed to put away his pens and the other leftovers from the adventures that didn't happen last night. He'd have to try to talk to Sora today, to see if they could just do tonight what they were going to do last night... and to see if the kid was doing alright.

...he just wished his head would stop hurting. That was probably the result of just how badly he'd overreached himself the previous morning.

The nurse that showed up to get him was cheerful. He grunted at her, listening to her with only half an ear until she mentioned all the excitement, about someone pretending to be a patient, all that crap that Landel had mentioned.

Renji gave her a narrow-eyed look. "Dr. Landel is a goddamn lying coward, and he's lying about that, too," he said. Whether it was true or not, there was only so much good cheer he could take on a shitty morning. "I hope he chokes on a cock." No matter how much venom he put in that statement, it wasn't enough.

Then he had to listen to a lecture about language and gratitude for the rest of the walk to the cafeteria, so maybe it wasn't worth it after all. She dragged him through the breakfast line, and he ended up with granola and toast and tea and a cinnamon roll, because not even a shitty fucking night could ruin his sweet tooth. Though that thing was looking a little too sweet.

The cafeteria was pretty much empty; he had his run of the place. He sat himself about as far from the doors as he could get, and proceeded to stare at his breakfast.

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Ed gave a determined nod and smiled at Alfons. They'd have to start out like anyone else would at being friends, even though Ed wasn't good at it. He didn't think he'd ever imagined having so many friends, it was still an odd idea for him.

He wracked his mind, trying to think of which bulletin conversation he'd shared with the newcomer. FInally, he just nodded. "Edward Elric," he said, inclining his head slightly, although he still refused to take his eyes off the other man. "I think I remember. I offered a weapon, right?" That was the only instance he could think of.

Renji hadn't been expecting to get touched. He jumped a little in his seat, though he tried to give the kid - Alfons, a reasonably reassuring smile. He seemed to mean well, and Renji also figured that screaming at his breakfast companion was not the way to get a favor out of Edward.

"I'm fine," he said, "don't worry about it."

He turned his attention back to Edward. "Yeah," he said. "A sword. I've got enough metal put together to make one." He'd be able to get enough together for Rukia, too... but she'd made her deal with Adel. He needed to make his own.

"...all right," he quietly answered, letting his touch linger before withdrawing it, a little hurt- even though that didn't show on his face or his expression. If the older man was all right, then that would be okay; Alfons was still a little worried, but he could keep that to himself.

And the two of them seemed to have some business together, so he fell silent and let them speak. It seemed like Edward was quite popular; a real change of pace from what Alfons had been expecting.

The guy seemed a little jumpy when Alfons touched him, but Ed could understand that. He wasn't used to being touched by anyone except his brother, really, and now maybe Tamaki, but was still weird, especially when used to seeing unfamiliar touches as threats. But he hadn't been nasty to Alfons, so that was a mark in Renji's favour in Ed's mind.

He nodded, leaning the elbow of his good arm on the table. He should have known this would happen. Shame there weren't more alchemists. "I can do that. Can you draw it for me?" He fished out his journal and pushed it over towards Renji along with a pen.

He frowned slightly, remembering another part of the conversation on the bulletin. "You said on the bulletin that I couldn't make a sword like the one you're used to. Why not?" He was curious and also a bit insulted. Even with his powers weakened, he could still make good weapons.

Renji gave Alfons another half smile, and was about to say something when he noticed Rukia get up and leave the cafeteria with a nurse. His mouth snapped shut, his teeth making an audible click, the muscles on the side of his jaw twitching.

She'd looked upset. Maybe not to other people, but he could tell she was really upset. And he felt like an utter bastard, because it was no doubt his fault. But... why couldn't she have just left it alone? And...

No, he was not going to start thinking about this again.

He picked up the pen, though he didn't begin to draw until Rukia had left, his eyes following her until she was gone from view.

"Yeah, sure," he said, like that awkward pause hadn't happened. He began to sketch Zabimaru's unreleased form, noting down precise measurements and indicating the balance point. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told Adel he knew the sword better than he knew himself.

As he continued to work on the sketch - for someone with little artistic talent, he could still draw at least this very well - he spoke. "It's not anything against your skill," he said. "But...Zabimaru is a zanpakuto. A... hm." He had to think of how to describe it. "A soul... cutter. He is not made of metal, and he is very much alive." He continued to sketch. "This is a zanpakuto's weakest form, the unreleased form. But the best for our purposes here, I'm sorry to say."

A small frown appeared on Ed's face at Renji's apparent distraction. He followed the older man's gaze to fix on a (short!) dark haired woman who was hurrying out of the room. A friend or something? Must be.

He shifted slightly awkwardly, sending a beseeching glance at Alfons for intervention. He wasn't good at small talk. Alfons seemed so much better at it. Couldn't he think of anything to say?

Finally the silence was broken and he peered over at Renji's sketch curiously. "Alive?" he asked incredulously. Weapons weren't al... He remembered Al and the Soul Bonds he'd seen and wouldn't it be possible to fix a soul to a sword as easily as to armour. "Soul cutter. Is that like... a sword with a soul attached to it?"

He examined the sketch and nodded. "That's a katana, right? I made one like it last night." The requirements hadn't been so precise then, but they shouldn't prove too much of a problem.

"Yes, the unreleased form is like a katana, normally." Renji frowned slightly. "They're not physical as you understand it, and they don't have souls of their own. They're..." He fell silent, thinking again, trying to find a way to explain it. "It's like... Zabimaru is a part of me, in a way."

He made a few more notes on the drawing, then put the pen down. "Let me start over. I think this will make more sense if I explain from the start, right?" He grinned. "Please do your best to believe what I say." He settled back in his chair a little. "I died more than a century ago. I don't know how much more than that because I haven't bothered to count. I am still very much dead. There is a police force, kind of, that watches over the souls of the dead, and also ends up protecting the living from some nasty things. You normally should not be able to see me, because I don't have a body - I'm nothing but spirit. Zabimaru is made of the same - he is made from the stuff of souls, from my soul."

Not that Alfons had been able to think of any sort of small talk, even though he wanted to try when Edward had sent that look his way. But Renji seemed to have something on his mind, and more than likely he'd either deal with it on his own, or take Alfons up on his concern. One or the other, right?

The boy tried to believe what Renji was saying, but it was hard to wrap his mind around the concept. It was just beyond what he had known, and it would take some effort to understand. "But... you seem alive enough to me. Er, not that I'm contradicting, but..." He frowned a little, trying to think of how to put it. "So... Zabimaru is... like an extension of yourself? Of your spirit?"

If he hadn't gone through Landel's, he wouldn't have believed a word.

It was all going so well until Renji mentioned the part about being dead. The part about the sword he could sort of understand. He supposed it wasn't so bad if it was an extension of his own soul and not someone else's. But being dead? Some kind of afterlife?

Ed's eyes narrowed dangerously. There was really only one kind of creature he knew that were dead but still moving and talking. It wasn't one he knew, but who knew how many people had performed human transmutation and created something like this, besides himself and sensei and Dante? And a weapon that was an extension of himself... Like Lust's claws or Greed's shield. What else could it be?

He clenched his hand on the edge of the table, knuckles turning white. "Homunculus," he hissed angrily. ""If you're working for her then I will never help you."

"If I seem alive, it's because they've put me in some sort of gigai... a false body. You normally shouldn't even be able to see me unless your spirit is particularly strong," Renji told Alfons. "But yes. That's what Zabimaru is. Part of me, in a way."

Then Ed got all pissy for no apparent reason. He turned and looked at the kid, one eyebrow cranked up in an expression he only really used when he was getting ready to bitch out one of his subordinates. "I don't know who the fuck you're talking about," he said, "and I don't know what a... homunc--whatsit is. If we want to start playing the label game, fine. I'm Vice-Captain of the Sixth Division of the Gotei Thirteen, if that means anything to you. I'm a Shinigami - a death god. And right now, I'm a Shinigami that could really use something more effective than some ballpoint pens to fight with so I can do my job and protect people. Is there something in that you take exception to?" He didn't raise his voice; if anything, his voice was softer by the end, but with definite dangerous edge to it.

Great, now both of them were being upset over absolutely nothing. Not that Alfons normally minded, that was just how Edward was, but... Renji hadn't done anything to earn that sort of title!

"Edward," he softly scolded, "I don't think that he'd be a homunculus, not from what he's been saying. Besides, even if he was, why would he say all of those things that would make you think he was? He doesn't strike me as a bad person, either. Not when he's compared to the staff here, right?"

He looked between the two of them, hoping that this situation could be averted. "But on the other hand, Mr. Renji, you have to remember that there's a lot to be worried about in this place. Your job is to protect people, but Edward has a lot to worry about, himself. So please don't take it personally?"

Ed was readying himself for a fight, or at least a lot of shouting. He felt on edge, practically vibrating with rage and not a little fear which showed in his face, despite his attempts to hide it. What if he was Envy, form changed and just waiting for an opportunity? What if he was some new homunculus sent to terrorise him>

Thankfully, Alfons decided to intervene, much like Al always did. Always doing the damage control for Ed's fits of anger. He took a deep breath and nodded at the boy, forcing himself to settle, although every muscle remained tense.

"A homunculus," he said through gritted teeth. "A person dies and if someone is stupids to try to ressurect them using alchemy, that's what's created.. A twisted soulless version of the person they were based on." He met Renji's eyes steadily, fiercely as he explained. "And before I came here, one of them killed me." His voice was tight with pain, his hand coming to clench on his automail arm to stop himself from moving.

Renji sighed, resting his elbow on the table, his chin on his hand. "You know," he said, conversationally, "I just went over with someone why up until now I've been lying my ass off about what I am. I can't really expect you to be familiar with what I am or what my kind does, even if you were from my world. Which I ain't so sure about. But anyway... I am not a homunculus. Those do not exist, where I come from. I'm dead, fair and square, and I have been for quite a long time. I am nothing but a soul."

He met Ed's eyes. Now that things had calmed down, he could be calm. And for a moment, the compassion that Renji normally kept well-hidden showed. "It's okay," he said. "Dying isn't pleasant." He'd been through it himself, though the memory was so dim with age now, it didn't matter. "But you're alive and fightin' now."

"...you're more than just a soul, though," Alfons gently corrected. He was warm and real and alive; even if he wasn't supposed to be, Renji was as human as the rest of them, now.

And as for that last part? Alfons nodded, smiling a little at both of them, albeit sheepishly. "No, dying isn't pleasant at all... but it's best not to think about that, right, Edward?"

He leaned forward to pat his friend on his real shoulder, trying to ease more of that tension out of Edward, or at least, as best as he could. "Because you are alive now, and though I didn't believe the other Edward, I know that you came back, now. So please try to relax a little?"

The compassion in Renji's eyes hurt to see. Ed prided himself on needing nothing and no-one. Just Al and himself. That was all he'd needed since mother had died. And seeing that made him feel weak and useless and incredibly childish for feeling that way. He swallowed thickly and nodded, staring down at the table for a moment while he composed himself.

He started when Alfons touched his shoulder and then smiled at him gratefully. "Yeah, sorry," he said quietly.

He licked his lips and then looked back up at Renji. "There's someone here called Envy. He's the one who..." he let the thought trail off, hoping he'd get the right idea. "If you meet him, then run."

He stretched his flesh arm, rolling his shoulder before reaching up to massage the other one where the automail joined. Not being able to move it made it ache, especially trailing like it was. He lifted it carefully, setting it on the table just to take the weight off for a while.

"My room's M28," he said, smiling weakly at the older man. "I need to get my arm fixed first, but if you come there, I can make you a weapon."

Renji snorted. "Of course I am," he said to Alfons. "I'm a Shinigami." And a Vice-Captain, though they didn't know what that meant, and that was fine with him.

Ed looked kind of rough for a minute, and Renji fought the urge to do something - mess with his hair, anything like that. Some people, that worked for. It'd worked for Valyn. But Ed was reminding him a lot of Rukia, and he knew that doing anything at this point would get his hand snapped off and force-fed to him. He was used to dealing with prickly, bitchy, short people.

"Understood," he said. Though he had no intention of running from a fight, not unless he had to. "And I will warn you about one of mine. Ichimaru Gin - he's a traitor to my people, and he tried to have Ru--a friend of mine executed." His hands twitched, but it was the only outward sign he gave of how upset he still was. "Don't turn your back on him."

He nodded. "M28 it is, then. I'll be there shortly after the shift starts, then. I don't mind hanging out and playing watchman or whatever." He hesitated for a moment, but the conversation with Adelheid stood out in his mind. "You're doing a big favor for me. Is there something you want in return?"

Alfons was quiet as he listened to both of them, keeping his hand on Edward's shoulder, and then... then he quietly started massaging there, right on the junction of automail and flesh, in a way that he knew Edward would like. He hadn't gotten to do so for a few months, but he wanted to. He wanted to make Ed feel better.

And as he had no people to warn against or anything further to add to the conversation, he remained quiet for a little while longer.

Ichimaru Gin. Ed nodded and made a mental note of the name, burning it into his memory. It was always good to be warned of people who could be threats before he actually met them. "I'll remember that."

Something in return? He'd never even thought of that and maybe that was his own foolishness. Adel was much better at making deals, he thought. He knew what to ask for, when to ask for things. Ed was used to just doing them.

He bit his lip as he thought and then finally thought of something. "I have a friend. Tamaki," he began, not entirely sur ehow to phrase the request. "You're a fighter, I can tell. Could you... can you teach him? he has no idea how to protect himself." Ed would do it himself, but he'd make a terrible teacher, and the automail made it a little dangerous. Hit even a little too hard, and the other person risked a rather large amoutn of steel meeting their body.

He tenses when Alfons started massaging his shoulder, but relaxed quickly. It felt good to get rid of the knots that had built up. And it was far more effective than doing it himself.

Renji smiled. "I've heard of Tamaki. He seems like a good kid. If on that's had a rather sheltered life." He nodded. "Sure. Really... I'll teach anyone that wants it. I learned to fight to survive when I was a kid. It's not pretty, but it's effective, and that's the best place to start. Just... you should probably warn him that you got him a teacher... and... all...?"

He wasn't sure what caught his attention; he wasn't sensing spirit energy like he normally did. He had to put out an effort now. Maybe it was just that he'd known her for years, and even when they hadn't been friends, he had watched her, always kept a little corner of his attention on her spirit whenever she was close enough. Maybe it was habit. Who knew.

But something felt wrong. "Rukia?" He whipped around his seat in time to see her slump over the table. "Shit!"

An instant later, he was all but running across the cafeteria. He had the presence of mind to at least pretend he was walking; as long as his legs were, and as quickly as he was moving, it didn't really matter.

(going here)

"Please take care," Alfons said, confused by Renji suddenly running off and feeling concern for the other man. But as it was... what more could be said?

But as it was, Alfons was more worried about getting all of those knots out of Edward's body, taking care of the other blond the way he had wanted for so long. And as he felt Ed relax? A blush started creeping up his face, the German failing from keeping a dreamy smile from drifting across his lips. This made him so happy...

Ed stared as Renji rushed off, a little confused by the sudden urgency. But he spotted him heading over to that girl Adel had been talking to earlier and she didn't look particularly well. They must be friends, he guessed.

He shifted slightly uncomfortably, realising that Alfons was still massaging his shoulders and the two of them were alone. It felt good though, he couldn't deny it, although being touched was still weird. Still... he let his eyes drop closed for a moment, letting Alfons do as he wished. And it wasn't as though it would hurt any to get rid of the tenseness.

He had nearly fallen asleep when the intercom crackled into life, the voice of the hated Doctor floating out from it. He sighed and moved to stand, letting the nurse pull him away. He smiled at Alfons. "Thanks. I'll see you tonight." So much to do and so little time.

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DAY 23: BREAKFAST

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