damned_institute | Day 27: Lunch

Entry tags:

Day 27: Lunch

Renji wasn't so certain what this grilled cheese thing was all about, but he liked the sound of some soup. Even if it was strange western soup, well... there wasn't anything bad people could do to soup, in his experience. His good mood was starting to fray at the edges, a little, from the strain of dealing with the Ichimaru issue, and even more from what had been on the bulletin board earlier.

He'd never had difficulty simply writing something before. But...

He shook his head as he entered the line. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to hold on to the tenuous equilibrium he'd managed to find.

Renji got himself a large bowl of soup, water, and even one of those sandwiches, just to try it. Old habit, recently awakened, had him over to one side of the cafeteria, where the fewest people possible would have the chance to pass behind him. He sat there with his back toward the wall and started eating.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Aya had counted the pens he had been handed, there was a lot of them. He gave Ken a quirk of brows, knowing it sounded probably insane to have him babble about metal wire inside plastic pens. Normally Aya would have snorted at himself. But normally he wasn't trapped in a madhouse with monsters. At the moment though, he didn't care one damn bit if Yohji would get his wire or not, it'd be virtually useless here anyhow. So he was willing to drop the matter.

"I'd rather not have him fight at all," he said silently, not feeling like elaborating on the matter right now.

"Aa. When I got here, he was expecting me to go after him." Ken, of course, hadn't done anything beyond trying to punch some sense into him. "I don't know if I made it better or worse last shift." Ken sighed. "Probably worse."

"I'm beginning to think there's no way to make it better. Only worse," Aya muttered bitterly. If he would have known how to make it somehow, magically better, he would have. At the moment he was so tired of even thinking about it.

Ken stirred his soup idly. "I told him about what happened after Koua. What I knew of it, anyway."

"I'd talk to Omi too, but I'm not sure how much I could say without triggering his amnesia." That would most definitely be a problem, and while Ken knew it would get tripped eventually--probably in a very bad manner, much like it had back home, he didn't really want to be the one to do it.

Aya grabbed some more vegetables and bit on a slice of carrot. Another problem he'd rather not think about. The damn amnesia.

"Hn." Aya looked away, chewing the raw carrot between his teeth. Yohji had assured him few days ago that Aya could trust in him. At the moment it was hard to believe. It had been easy when there had been just him and Yohji. Now there was Ken and Omi too, and despite logic, he felt responsible.

"Why don't we leave Yohji alone for a while?" he said finally, voice tense and eyes keen on the edge of the table.

Ken opened his mouth to protest, but couldn't find the words. It made sense, after all. But just the same...

"He's afraid we hate him for what happened at Koua, I think. Avoiding him won't make him feel any better about that," Ken said softly. "Did something happen last night after I got knocked out?"

Snorting, Aya glanced at Ken. He had invited that himself, it was to be said.

"I didn't mean to avoid him," he said just as softly, a bit frustrated, the unvoiced 'Stupid' almost palpable in the air. "Schwarz dropped by," he answered Ken's question with a lingering frown. "To demand to have one of your claws."

Ken blinked. "Not that I'm condoning fighting between us, 'cause that would be fucking pointless and stupid while both our groups are here and stuck for the foreseeable future, but I can only think of one person any one of Schwarz would want one of my bugnuks for, and arming Farfarello is not exactly something I'm encouraging. I mean, he has nearly killed me quite a few times and I would like to think I have a better sense of self-preservation than that."

"Mmnn.." Aya would have smirked if he could have found even a hint of amusement out of what Ken said. But despite the lack of mirth, there was a bit of comfort in knowing he wasn't the only one thinking along the same lines. "Schuldig seemed to think we're working together. He called upon an alliance."

Aya was silent for a moment, thinking. Then he sucked in a breath and looked straight to Ken again. "Based on his words the deal with Yohji was more than just a truce." He paused for a moment, but then decided to continue right to the bottom of it. "Crawford did not suggest an alliance, but seemed willing to work together. I wanted to meet him again before talking to Omi."

"I'm all for a truce. One less attack to watch for. But an alliance might be taking it a bit far at the moment. I mean, nearly every time our two groups met we ended up trying to kill each other or even mostly succeeding. If anything, I'd think that they wouldn't want to ally with us either. I mean, there's been times where we've given as good as we've gotten, rare as they might be."

Ken frowned. "Yohji is Yohji. He was here before the rest of us, right? So if he had to work shit out on his own, it's not surprising he'd go to someone he knows, even if that someone's usually an enemy. But to expect the rest of us to work upon that agreement isn't very diplomatic of them." Not that Schuldig ever had been particularly diplomatic.

"I wouldn't spit on any alliance around here," Aya said simply. He had no particular fondness for Schwarz, which was quite apparent from his way of handling the meeting last night, but he couldn't deny the fact, that the brief talk with Crawford had been the most fruitful one he'd had for days.

He just wouldn't be the one talking Ken around either. It wouldn't hurt if one of them would be against the idea.

"It seems this Schuldig is young," he said softly. The brief encounter with the telepath last night had left him with the impression of a childish and rash man, trying to get his will through no matter what. His thoughts of Crawford he still kept to himself for whatever unknown reason.

"Yohji owes Schuldig something. That much became clear." Which in Aya's mind easily turned into 'Weiss owed something to Schuldig'.

"I'm not spitting on it, but you have to admit. Alliances between groups that are usually enemies really can't be based on faith." Ken had been betrayed too many times by people he cared about to trust the word of someone who'd been trying to kill him since day one and made no illusions about it. "But I'll go with what the team decides." He wouldn't do so quietly, but that was only to be expected.

"So he's trying to collect on that from the rest of us." Of course, since Weiss did work as one unit, it wasn't surprising, and Ken was obviously not-so.

"Nobody's building it on trust," Aya said silently, the carrot resting against his lips for a moment as he allowed himself to delve deeper into his own thoughts. He expected many arguments about the matter but he wouldn't have it any other way. It didn't please him to be forced into such plans and plots with his own team, but it seemed to either be that or fight with them every step on the way.

"It might be too late after last night," he added after a brief silence. He had not exactly been diplomatic towards Schuldig.

"And Yohji... I'm guessing would never think Weiss will do that for him," which was a problem as far as Aya was concerned. Yohji would do something stupid eventually. He sighed and tensed yet again, making sure none of his confusion would be showing on his face. Ken didn't need to know.

"That bad, huh?" Ken sighed and took a drink of water. "Are we going to have to watch out for them?" Ken really didn't care to. They'd never fared well against Schwarz.

"And refuses to believe it, right," Ken agreed. Yohji was damn frustrating sometimes. "How hard d'ya think I'd have to hit him before he got it?"

"I'm assuming exchange of information." That was what Aya had done with Crawford after all. "And perhaps assistance, I don't know. Nor do I care at this point." The less he could think of Schwarz the better.

Pretty hard, would have been Aya's answer, but of course he didn't voice it, just gave Ken a long look that made his point quite clear.

"Stupid question, right." Ken sighed and pushed his by now cool and rubbery grilled cheese sandwich around on his plate, trying to distract himself from thinking. He then took a look around the cafeteria--he didn't see Omi, but Yohji was around...and the entirety of the present Schwarz was having lunch with that kid he'd stabbed last night. Well, that was interesting. The kid could obviously take care of himself, then.

Perhaps they were recruiting? Aya followed Ken's example and took a look around, noting Yohji and Schwarz as well as Kikyo. The last making him sigh and frown darkly. He knew he was being a hypocrite comparing Schwarz and Kikyo, but he couldn't help it. Aya could think things rationally, Ran wanted to just demand why he had been betrayed and left behind with his guilt.

"I just lack the answers right now," he said tiredly to Ken's question.

Ken noticed Aya's sigh and expression, and curiously followed his gaze around the cafeteria. "What's up?" he asked, concerned.

"S'alright. We'll just fumble around in the dark as usual, ne?" Ken grinned then. "It's worked well enough before."

Biting the inside of his lip, Aya glanced at Ken from the corner of his eye. Telling him about Kikyo was not on his list of favorite things to do but how could he not when they were locked into this madhouse.

"The man with long black hair, sitting with a blond kid," he started silently. "Be careful about him." It was as vague as he could manage. Maybe Ken would bite it just like that. He didn't know how to explain it all. "Or maybe you remember him?" It was a long shot, but maybe Ken would remember the mission. A lot of time had passed, Aya couldn't remember anymore all the faces he had killed, and yet this one lingered in his memories.

Ken blinked in confusion. "You mean Kikyo?"

He looked across the room at the older man. He should remember him? ...he was from their world, then. "No, I don't. At least, not before I met him the other day." And Ken had rather enjoyed talking with him, actually. He wasn't going to say that out loud, though. Obviously Aya had something against the guy.

You mean Kikyo?

That sounded easy. Too easy. Aya turned to stare at Ken with widening eyes. Met him the other day.. Just like that his world was hurled into churning nausea at the bits of his stomach, hitching breath, nervous worry and anxiousness. He steadied himself by a hand on the edge of the table, instinctively hiding every visible effect of his fear with freezing muscles and faceless mask over his features, the very same his targets would see before they died.

"Would you stay away from him if I asked?" he forced out with blank tone of voice. If Kikyo would hurt one more teammate of Aya's...

"...Aya, what happened?" Normally Aya didn't react to a person like that, at least in Ken's experience. There was something there.

There were a few reasons he could think of for Aya's reaction, most involving his past--something that Ken wasn't privy to and he mostly didn't want to be. But what was Kikyo to him?

Aya let his gaze rest on Ken for a while before answering, something pained flickering across the violet of his eyes. If he could have let the past lie, he would have, without a doubt.

"When Weiss had just been formed, we had a mission in Sendai," he begun. "S&M club, hacking young women into pieces. I killed the 'sensei', who was my old teammate and the very same man sitting at that table there." Aya paused for a moment. He had never before said these words aloud, but it didn't prove out to be completely impossible after all. "I'm sure you remember Shion. Kikyo was part of his team. He arranged an ambush, killed the rest that managed to escape. Only Shion was able to escape." He did not mention he had thought Shion dead and that the ambush had been built from Ran's lead. He had considered himself guilty for the death of his whole team until that mission in Sendai. So had Kritiker.

Nor did he mention that Kikyo had played him like the idiot boy he had been then, trusting, empathic. He had been a friend, shared Ran's frustration and anger, even loss of his family, desire for revenge. And then betrayed him. It was hardly his personality alone that kept teammates and friends alike at arms length away. That way they'd never hurt him the way Kikyo had, never be able to hurt others through him.

"He's a psychopath, Ken," he said blankly.

Ken listened quietly. Yes, he remembered Shion--even if he hadn't exactly been in the best frame of mind during that mission. He remembered the S&M club mission as well, even if they all seemed to blend together sometimes. "I remember. I never saw his face, that time."

And a small voice in the back of Ken's head insisted that he was no better than the dark-haired man, that even if he thought he had recovered his sense of self, he could slip back any time. Last night had proved that. Would he be the next one to betray Aya's trust?

Aya did not trust, Ran did. There was a difference.

"Well, now you do," Aya said simply, and met Ken's eyes with calm violet, almost gray in the shadows of his hair. If Kikyo had betrayed him, so had Shion. And just like Kikyo had mentioned, he was slipping closer and closer to the image Shion had left behind.

None of them had the sanity quite in grasp, but that was something they'd have to deal with.

"You'd do better not going near him," Aya finally said coldly.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Day 27: Lunch

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject