Day 27: Lunch

[norainu]

Renji wasn't so certain what this grilled cheese thing was all about, but he liked the sound of some soup. Even if it was strange western soup, well... there wasn't anything bad people could do to soup, in his experience. His good mood was starting to fray at the edges, a little, from the strain of dealing with the Ichimaru issue, and even more from what had been on the bulletin board earlier.

He'd never had difficulty simply writing something before. But...

He shook his head as he entered the line. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to hold on to the tenuous equilibrium he'd managed to find.

Renji got himself a large bowl of soup, water, and even one of those sandwiches, just to try it. Old habit, recently awakened, had him over to one side of the cafeteria, where the fewest people possible would have the chance to pass behind him. He sat there with his back toward the wall and started eating.

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[gentiana-clusii.livejournal.com]

Ken noticed Aya's sigh and expression, and curiously followed his gaze around the cafeteria. "What's up?" he asked, concerned.

"S'alright. We'll just fumble around in the dark as usual, ne?" Ken grinned then. "It's worked well enough before."

[seiran314.livejournal.com]

Biting the inside of his lip, Aya glanced at Ken from the corner of his eye. Telling him about Kikyo was not on his list of favorite things to do but how could he not when they were locked into this madhouse.

"The man with long black hair, sitting with a blond kid," he started silently. "Be careful about him." It was as vague as he could manage. Maybe Ken would bite it just like that. He didn't know how to explain it all. "Or maybe you remember him?" It was a long shot, but maybe Ken would remember the mission. A lot of time had passed, Aya couldn't remember anymore all the faces he had killed, and yet this one lingered in his memories.

[gentiana-clusii.livejournal.com]

Ken blinked in confusion. "You mean Kikyo?"

He looked across the room at the older man. He should remember him? ...he was from their world, then. "No, I don't. At least, not before I met him the other day." And Ken had rather enjoyed talking with him, actually. He wasn't going to say that out loud, though. Obviously Aya had something against the guy.

[seiran314.livejournal.com]

You mean Kikyo?

That sounded easy. Too easy. Aya turned to stare at Ken with widening eyes. Met him the other day.. Just like that his world was hurled into churning nausea at the bits of his stomach, hitching breath, nervous worry and anxiousness. He steadied himself by a hand on the edge of the table, instinctively hiding every visible effect of his fear with freezing muscles and faceless mask over his features, the very same his targets would see before they died.

"Would you stay away from him if I asked?" he forced out with blank tone of voice. If Kikyo would hurt one more teammate of Aya's...

[gentiana-clusii.livejournal.com]

"...Aya, what happened?" Normally Aya didn't react to a person like that, at least in Ken's experience. There was something there.

There were a few reasons he could think of for Aya's reaction, most involving his past--something that Ken wasn't privy to and he mostly didn't want to be. But what was Kikyo to him?

[seiran314.livejournal.com]

Aya let his gaze rest on Ken for a while before answering, something pained flickering across the violet of his eyes. If he could have let the past lie, he would have, without a doubt.

"When Weiss had just been formed, we had a mission in Sendai," he begun. "S&M club, hacking young women into pieces. I killed the 'sensei', who was my old teammate and the very same man sitting at that table there." Aya paused for a moment. He had never before said these words aloud, but it didn't prove out to be completely impossible after all. "I'm sure you remember Shion. Kikyo was part of his team. He arranged an ambush, killed the rest that managed to escape. Only Shion was able to escape." He did not mention he had thought Shion dead and that the ambush had been built from Ran's lead. He had considered himself guilty for the death of his whole team until that mission in Sendai. So had Kritiker.

Nor did he mention that Kikyo had played him like the idiot boy he had been then, trusting, empathic. He had been a friend, shared Ran's frustration and anger, even loss of his family, desire for revenge. And then betrayed him. It was hardly his personality alone that kept teammates and friends alike at arms length away. That way they'd never hurt him the way Kikyo had, never be able to hurt others through him.

"He's a psychopath, Ken," he said blankly.

[gentiana-clusii.livejournal.com]

Ken listened quietly. Yes, he remembered Shion--even if he hadn't exactly been in the best frame of mind during that mission. He remembered the S&M club mission as well, even if they all seemed to blend together sometimes. "I remember. I never saw his face, that time."

And a small voice in the back of Ken's head insisted that he was no better than the dark-haired man, that even if he thought he had recovered his sense of self, he could slip back any time. Last night had proved that. Would he be the next one to betray Aya's trust?

[seiran314.livejournal.com]

Aya did not trust, Ran did. There was a difference.

"Well, now you do," Aya said simply, and met Ken's eyes with calm violet, almost gray in the shadows of his hair. If Kikyo had betrayed him, so had Shion. And just like Kikyo had mentioned, he was slipping closer and closer to the image Shion had left behind.

None of them had the sanity quite in grasp, but that was something they'd have to deal with.

"You'd do better not going near him," Aya finally said coldly.