damned_institute | DAY 23: BREAKFAST

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DAY 23: BREAKFAST

That hadn't felt like an entire night.

And his goddamn head hurt. Pounded, even. Enough that he wondered if he was going to end up playing another round of "Christen the nurse" this morning.

Maybe it was because he'd spent so much time and energy trying to find Nowe. That could be the reason behind both those problems. Just the thought of it made his stomach turn, made him want to fucking choke something.

Still, there was shit to do. He forced himself out of bed to put away his pens and the other leftovers from the adventures that didn't happen last night. He'd have to try to talk to Sora today, to see if they could just do tonight what they were going to do last night... and to see if the kid was doing alright.

...he just wished his head would stop hurting. That was probably the result of just how badly he'd overreached himself the previous morning.

The nurse that showed up to get him was cheerful. He grunted at her, listening to her with only half an ear until she mentioned all the excitement, about someone pretending to be a patient, all that crap that Landel had mentioned.

Renji gave her a narrow-eyed look. "Dr. Landel is a goddamn lying coward, and he's lying about that, too," he said. Whether it was true or not, there was only so much good cheer he could take on a shitty morning. "I hope he chokes on a cock." No matter how much venom he put in that statement, it wasn't enough.

Then he had to listen to a lecture about language and gratitude for the rest of the walk to the cafeteria, so maybe it wasn't worth it after all. She dragged him through the breakfast line, and he ended up with granola and toast and tea and a cinnamon roll, because not even a shitty fucking night could ruin his sweet tooth. Though that thing was looking a little too sweet.

The cafeteria was pretty much empty; he had his run of the place. He sat himself about as far from the doors as he could get, and proceeded to stare at his breakfast.

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Naminé nodded. True, how could Xemnas punish Axel for acts that he did not do? Still, she wasn't going to expect Axel to test that theory. There were still ways that Axel could get around safely though. Naminé was sure of it. The one thing at Landels that reassured her was that everyone was in trouble. Nobody was safe. It made far more sense to forge alliances than to start rivalries. Any sensible person would do so.

of course, some people were not sensible, but she didn't comment on that, for the subject had been switched and perhaps for the better.

"I met a few new people last night," Naminé reported. "My roommate Raven and a girl named Haruhi. Who is your roommate?"

Relaxing at the evident subject change Axel finally began to work on his cinnamon rolls, pulling off a small piece of the dough and popped it in his mouth. If there was something he surely missed about his freedom it was meandering over to the kitchen when he was off duty, flour caked underneath his fingernails as he spent hours preparing an assortment of food. Since he could never finish it all on his own most of it would go to waste, but Axel didn't mind.

He took the time to swallow before answering Naminé fully, making an attempt to tear off another piece while using his free hand to point at the individual in particular. Axel quirked an eyebrow at the various gestures he was making at some other man, but in the end paid no mind to it.

"His name is Ashton. And though I find his gender questionable he's not that bad of a guy." The redhead hummed, nudging Naminé's own plate of food closer to her, encouraging the blonde to eat as well.

"Ashton..." Naminé had heard that name before. Axel was probably referring to the kind man she had met in the Art Room yesterday who had his fortune read and helped her more than he realized by drawing a way to M Block on her little mini-map.

"I met him in the Art Room yesterday, if there's only one Ashton around here. He was very nice, he added a portion to my little map. It actually came in handy, because a woman wanted to go to the part he drew. M Block."

At Axel's silent urging, she took a cinnamon roll and daintly plucked the sweet treat apart. Naminé was hungry, but... at the same time, her appetite wasn't there.

A memory sparked in the back of Axel's mind when the girl explained her own relationship with his roommate, tapping his chin a little with the knuckles of his forefinger.

"That's right, he told me the same thing last night. We really do live in a small world..." The redhead was forced to cover his mouth when a yawn unexpectedly came, only now noticing his exhaustion from lack of sleep. It didn't seem like he'd get a break this coming night either, but he didn't mind so much, he'd just have to make sure to catch a few winks of sleep later on today.

Axel quietly watched Naminé tear at her breakfast, finishing off one of his own and made an attempt at another with the same effort.

"Naminé, have you ever decided what you're going to do once you're free?" He asked after a while, adding a curious glance with his question.

"Ah, so he told you?" This only made Naminé's smile grow a little wider. "I'll have to thank him. I hope I can see him..." Of course, that's when Naminé looked up and noticed that the man in question had tripped and sent his breakfast flying. She winced and looked back down. Poor Ashton!

Perhaps now was not a good time for such a thing...

Naminé stopped unrolling her cinnamon roll when Axel asked her what she intended to do once she was free. It wasn't absurd, but... well, Naminé wasn't quite sure what the outcome of her freedom would be.

"... I don't know. I thought I would simply return to Kairi, like I was before I came here," She answered, thoughtfully kneading the bread with her thumb. "But now, I am not sure if that's what will happen if I left. I might still be myself."

Elena's words came to her, those words about how it was unfair that Naminé had to live her life through another and how she couldn't simply just disappear.

"In that case... I don't know."

It was the truth, after all.

"I hate bouncing questions back to you, but... what will you do, Axel?"

Listening to Naminé's soft words, Axel lightly slapped her hand when he noticed how she was pressing the cinnamon roll into a mess. He wasn't satisfied by the girl's answers, but the blonde seemed to have honestly thought that things would go back to the way they were. In reality, he wasn't sure of his own outcome either, but the Institute's timeline didn't match up with their universe, so anything was possible.

"Well, if you must know, I think it'd be best to just find a nice man and settle down. I'll want to raise a few kids, watch them grow and have children of their own, and then I'll hop on a motorcycle and ride off into the sunset." The redhead smiled dreamily for a moment before chuckling and stuffing half of a roll in his mouth.

"But seriously, I'm not sure what I'd want to do. There's too many choices, and all of them have their ups and downs, really." Idly chewing at the food at his mouth, Axel swallowed and promptly tore off another piece.

"In fact, we should probably plan something just incase we have each other as company. Maybe a vacation at some island getaway or whatever.”

Naminé blinked, ceasing all action when Axel kindly pointed out how she was mutilating her breakfast. Oops. Yes, most children were told not to play with their food and Naminé was included.

She listened to Axel's little romantic spiel, blinking curiously. To others, this would seem like the most ordinary life one could attain, but to Naminé, it sounded quite interesting. Of course, Axel wasn't serious, but it still made her wonder.

Settle down? Should she do that? Did she even have the right? Naminé knew she was but a Nobody, born by mere chance. An "exception", that was what DiZ called her.

Nothing more.

"An island getaway?" She smiled, letting out a half-chuckle. Of course, Naminé had to be horribly blunt with her next statement.

"I thought you were going to look for Roxas again... I mean, everyone else I've spoken to seems determined on continuing as they were, even though it means their demise." Naminé did not understand what drove them to what was literally suicide at this point, despite the fact she herself wished to just fade away again. This was different, she thought. It was becoming complete, not dying. "It's like they all want to die."

She paused, realizing how bad that sounded.

"I'm not saying you want to die. I'm just... surprised that death seems to be the goal of everyone else."

"Roxas..." The name came out of his mouth like molasses, face grimacing when a wave of unwanted thoughts rushed through him. If there was one thing that he hoped it was to never return from the exact spot from when he left, all of his memories from Landel's erasing from his mind while repeating the process like a broken record. He still clung to the possibility that there was a rip in the space-time continuum and that he was free to do whatever he wished when he escaped.

Of course the chances were slim, but unlike the other Nobodies, Axel wasn't so willing to give up his non-existent life yet.

"I just have other goals I want to accomplish first," The redhead shrugged, licking some of the icing off his fingertips. "It's not bad to daydream, you know. I'm surprised you don't do it as much, Naminé, considering your talent that is."

He let a smile creep out from his lips.

"Roxas is a big boy, he probably has other plans with his life as well."

This time, Naminé seemed satisfied with that answer. Actually, she looked almost happy, nodding along thoughtfully. She was happy, actually. Not truly happy, for Nobodies could not truly be happy, but she was happy that Axel was not going to throw his life away. Finally, another who had the courage to reach out and change their fate.

Naminé always found Axel to be an unlikely source of courage, ever since he had helped her escape from Marluxia in Castle Oblivion. She knew the act wasn't out of kindess, but necessity, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

So to hear that he was intent on living once he escaped from Landels seemed to help the younger Nobody decide what she should do. Or at the very least, make it seem clearer.

"... Maybe we should start planning that island getaway."

Axel's smile transformed into a wide-toothed grin when Naminé finally gave into the idea of a vacation, tapping his chin again before snapping his fingers. (Or at least attempting to, but after several tries he gave up because of the stickiness)

"I know. We should get on one of those cruise ships, the kind with a Jacuzzi in every room and boxes of chocolate on your pillow. We'll spend a week there to get to some popular island where there will be water parks, trips through the rainforest and golf."

Of course he was just spewing whatever came to mind, but it was pleasant to talk about something like a vacation.

"We should go jet-skiing too."

Jacuzzi? Golf? Some of these words and activities flew over Naminé's head, but they sounded enjoyable anyway. She wasn't too sure what some of them were, but she did know what a relaxing atmosphere an island had.

"And then we can go to the beach, and buy some sea salt ice cream and collect seashells, get stung by sea urchins and jellyfish, and then throw seaweed at each other," Naminé added, "remembering" what Sora, Riku and Kairi used to do on an island.

"Actually, maybe that's a good idea," Naminé thought, having abandoned her food altogether for planning after Landels. It gave her something to look forward to, actually. Like there was a point to getting out of Landels besides for the sake of getting out.

"I always wanted to go to Wonderland..."

"HA! I don't think getting stung is as fun as it sounds." Axel grinned at the girl and made an attempt to ruffle her hair, but decided against it at the end since his fingers were still a bit sticky from the rolls. So in the end he merely settled for a nod, listening to Naminé's next words with a smile.

"You want to go to Wonderland? Why, why haven't you ever said so before?" The redhead mused, starting up with his final roll. "Nonetheless I'll be more than happy to take you there. We might even catch tea time with the Mad Hatter."

Naminé seemed oblivious of what sticky fingers did to hair, since she ran her own sticky ones through her golden locks absentmindidly, grinning and nodding her head eagerly in response to Axel's offer.

"Would you? I'd love to go there! It seemed so much fun, with all the shrinking, and the cards, and talking objects! I'm so disappointed that the Mad Hatter wasn't there to see Sora when he went to Wonderland," Naminé sighed. It was his unmerry birthday or something of that sort.

"And Atlantica, that'd be a fun place to go, don't you think? I've never gone swimming before," Naminé continued to muse, now staring off blissfully into space. She had always daydreamed about where she was going to go when she was set free from Castle Oblivion, but... when it all came down to it, she never actually did any of those things. None of them at all.

Something else bothered her though, something a bit more confusing...

"Would it work, though? If I do not rescue and complete Kairi, she might not return home to Destiny Islands. And you were the one that opened the way to The World That Never Was for Sora, even if you haven't done it yet. What if... what if we change that? Do you think everything will end the way it did before?"

"You're forgetting that I was the one that kidnapped her in the first place." Axel mused with a grin as he finished his last cinnamon roll, using his pants as means of a napkin in an attempt to get rid of the stickiness. He had to convey his opinions with a snort when the girl rambled on about her own wishes, but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying Naminé's fruitful imagination.

"Never gone swimming? Huh, that's weird, and here I thought Demyx would have the right mind to teach you." The Nobody chuckled, finally giving into temptation and ruffled the blonde's hair affectionately. "I don't think I'd be the best person to teach you, because of my affinity and all, but a bit of practice never hurt anyone. In fact, I don't think most of the Organization's ever gone swimming before so you wouldn't be the only one on the boat."

Axel sighed.

"Anyway, things may or may not change, depending on how 'going back' works here. All I know is that if I came from any earlier time and decided to lay low after I escaped, Sora would never have made it out of Castle Oblivion in the first place."

Naminé shook her head. She never forgot about things.

"Kairi would have found another way. She was determined to get back to Riku and Sora..." She smiled softly, remembering how bold Kairi had been back then. "I believe she would have found them one way or another. Who knows, maybe I would have helped her."

The Memory Witch had no time to add another comment, for the intercom went off and the nurses were coming. She was rather disappointed to know the Arts and Crafts Room wasn't an option.

"Oh, well. I'll see you later, then," She said. It looked like they weren't going to be going to the same room this shift.

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DAY 23: BREAKFAST

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