DAY 23: BREAKFAST

[norainu]

That hadn't felt like an entire night.

And his goddamn head hurt. Pounded, even. Enough that he wondered if he was going to end up playing another round of "Christen the nurse" this morning.

Maybe it was because he'd spent so much time and energy trying to find Nowe. That could be the reason behind both those problems. Just the thought of it made his stomach turn, made him want to fucking choke something.

Still, there was shit to do. He forced himself out of bed to put away his pens and the other leftovers from the adventures that didn't happen last night. He'd have to try to talk to Sora today, to see if they could just do tonight what they were going to do last night... and to see if the kid was doing alright.

...he just wished his head would stop hurting. That was probably the result of just how badly he'd overreached himself the previous morning.

The nurse that showed up to get him was cheerful. He grunted at her, listening to her with only half an ear until she mentioned all the excitement, about someone pretending to be a patient, all that crap that Landel had mentioned.

Renji gave her a narrow-eyed look. "Dr. Landel is a goddamn lying coward, and he's lying about that, too," he said. Whether it was true or not, there was only so much good cheer he could take on a shitty morning. "I hope he chokes on a cock." No matter how much venom he put in that statement, it wasn't enough.

Then he had to listen to a lecture about language and gratitude for the rest of the walk to the cafeteria, so maybe it wasn't worth it after all. She dragged him through the breakfast line, and he ended up with granola and toast and tea and a cinnamon roll, because not even a shitty fucking night could ruin his sweet tooth. Though that thing was looking a little too sweet.

The cafeteria was pretty much empty; he had his run of the place. He sat himself about as far from the doors as he could get, and proceeded to stare at his breakfast.

Comments

[notmyfather.livejournal.com]

It was amazing how many people expected Valyn to simply drop two decades of intense conditioning to act the same way that they did.

"It's my way," he said, showing no hint of annoyance. Nothing ever broke the surface, hadn't since he was a small child. No matter how strong he felt something, no sign or hint or tic made it to his face or voice. "But you have hit upon the heart of it."

[screwthegods]

The conversation had gone on long enough for Homura to understand that Valyn's calm was seemingly unshakable and constant, much like Shien's had been. The presence was almost refreshing in that sense, but closer to bittersweet at best.

"To make yourself appear foolish by claiming what you've decided to give your life to doesn't matter? Your way is certainly an interesting one, in that case." Homura's words weren't spoken with maliciousness, but with honesty; he'd long grown weary of the lessening of self so prevalent in Heaven's court, and Valyn's actions were similar.

There was nothing wrong with not trusting Homura. Homura didn't fully trust Valyn, which is why so little of the conversation had been focused on the demi-god. Homura only wished Valyn to be open about the fact.

[notmyfather.livejournal.com]

"My way is to be polite while remaining private," Valyn said. "And to avoid causing offense." Withholding information was half of what made elven society run. But there were ways to do it, to dismiss it, to belittle it, to avoid, to answer without truly answering... it was a web of words and hidden motives, all intended not to shame or offend. Unless of course one was dealing with a much lower House and Clan.

But it was a game Valyn had played from the cradle.

"That's simply how I was raised, and how my culture is. We're quite political, you could say."

[screwthegods]

The game Valyn played was one Homura was very familiar with: hiding secrets and plots behind pretty words. Homura had seen it acted out before him, learned it's motions during his time as the Toushin Taishi, and done rather well at it, really. Certainly well enough to threaten Heaven.

It was a game Homura knew, and one that he hated, because before he learned it, he had already lost everything.

"Your culture has many facets you've told me about. Yet you choose to abandon some while holding on to others." Homura eyed Valyn's expression, though he knew it would gain him little. "Could it be you're more like your people than you care to think?"

[notmyfather.livejournal.com]

"If it was within my power to abandon them all, I would." Valyn folded his hands on the table before him. That was all there was to it. His training ran to deep for him to be any other way. No matter how hard he tried, how hard he fought against his conditioning, he couldn't break it.

[screwthegods]

Homura couldn't help a smirk. "How long have you lived, elf? Your people are close to immortal from what you've told me. Perhaps you'll be surprised to discover just what changes eternity can bring."

But even as he spoke, Homura knew there were things no amount of time could erase. It had been hundreds of years since Rinrei had been taken, and he still loved her, and despised the Heavens who took her from him.

[notmyfather.livejournal.com]

"Long enough." Once more, Valyn shrugged. He was what he was, and he couldn't change that. Ancestors knew he'd tried. And while he as young for one of his kind, he'd seen more and done more than Lords centuries older than him. Change wasn't easy for Elvenkind. Not when you were beaten and manipulated and conditioned to think and act in a certain way.

"But it really doesn't matter if I change or not. My ideals are unchanged, the only difference is in how I address them." And he would never let go of his ideals and his dream. No matter what happened to him.

[screwthegods]

Homura nodded slowly, smiling to Valyn. "Hold on to your ideals, then." All else aside, that was something Homura could respect: having a dream, however unobtainable, and striving for it with all your might.

For Homura, that was the ultimate goal of life.

[notmyfather.livejournal.com]

"I don't intend to let go of them." Not that Valyn was in any position to do anything about it. He was far from home, with no idea which way the war was going. He didn't even know if Shadow was alright....

"Is there anyone from your world here?" he asked, as it seemed a good place to change the subject. And he was curious if it was common for only one or two people to be taken.

[screwthegods]

Homura recognized the subject change for what it was, but went with it easily enough. There was little more that would be offered on the topic of Valyn's idealism, and Homura didn't have the interest to pry.

"Four others that I know of." He paused, needing a moment to list the names Valyn might recognize. "Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai, and Kenren." It made Homura smile to think of them. He wondered how each had fared after the previous night. Doubtless they had gone wandering, and had encounters of their own...but his worry was only so strong.

None of them would let themselves be killed so easily.