damned_institute | Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

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Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

Okita hadn't been expecting it when his nurse suddenly appeared in the Game Room. He'd expected to be left alone like last week, but instead she gently took him by the arm and told him he needed to say goodbye to Kaden for now. Okita assumed it was time for his visitor and waved goodbye to him, only to be led off himself. The swordsman had followed obediently into the Sun Room, but when he tried to go off to another room, she stopped him. "Not today, Julian."

Not today? Something about his nurse's demeanor seemed off, almost as if she were worried about something. It wasn't until she led him out of the Sun Room that he understood what was going on. He had a visitor. There were only so many people that would come to visit him in a place like this. His sisters, Tetsu, Kondou or... Okita didn't want to think about the last option.

Taking a step into the waiting room, he stopped at the door and turned to look at his nurse. "Are you sure you're not mistaken?" he asked, feeling actual fear for the first time in a long while. If this wasn't some strange punishment/joke for behaving poorly in the chapel, he didn't know what to do. Badou's graffiti was still on his hand and he quickly slipped that hand into his pocket. He could feel the pen there, clipped to the inside of his waistband. The nurse shook her head and moved to the side of the room, keeping a close watch on him as he stayed by the door, trying to hide his anxiety by feigning interest in the strange magazines on a table nearby.

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ZEX blinked in surprise at the sudden change in his demeanor. While he'd been hoping that maybe mentioning his Captain would remind DAX of what was surely real, he hadn't quite expected something like this.

"Yes, of course I've spoken with him..." ZEX was clearly puzzled. "I don't see why I shouldn't have. And he's certainly not dangerous, he's just a human. He's no threat to me... he's actually been quite helpful. He remembers things the way they're supposed to be..." Like you should.

What could prompt DAX's concern? DAX hadn't exactly approved of him bargaining with the Captain back at Cerenkov (not that it mattered, since he was still his superior, although he appreciated his concern), but this DAX didn't seem to have any memory of any of that. It must have been something that this Max must have done.

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Did something --" It seemed impossible! His family, fine; Max had never gotten on with any of them. Dexter was even willing to accept that Max might not remember him, tied as he was to Max's family. But to not remember the incident that contributed to his madness in the first place?

Dexter quickly glanced around, checking for any potentially eavesdropping nurses in the vicinity. Seeing that there were none nearby, he leaned closer, dropping his voice to a hiss. Nobody but Mr. Vyer could hear about this.

"Sir, you put him in the hospital!"

ZEX again blinked, giving DAX a confused look.

"I certainly did no such thing." ZEX tried to sound as confident of this fact as he knew he should be. "I'd never hurt my human! He's very dear to me, you know. Nothing else in my menagerie can compare to him." ZEX paused for a moment, a bit thoughtfully. "Well, I wouldn't harm him unless I had no choice, but that's not the same thing, I don't think."

It was difficult to remember that DAX wasn't talking about reality as he remembered it, and he paused to sort his thoughts again. It wasn't his Captain that DAX was talking about, it was the... it was this Caleb person. Which meant...

"Wait... so Max knew Caleb then?" That was an... odd coincidence. If he'd known his Captain from his memories, then encountered him here and had him confirm those memories, that gave some credence to them, or at least that was how his hopes ran. If he'd- if Max had known this Caleb before he came here, then incorporating him into this "delusion" wouldn't be difficult, or even unexpected-

ZEX tried to stop the doubt gnawing at him. "I don't remember a Caleb... I remember my Captain, and his Precursor flagship. I can still remember the day we met... after waiting for twenty years after the War, to finally see a human again..." He could still remember how it felt. That couldn't have been a lie. His voice was faltering again. "They just call him Caleb here, for some reason..."

Dexter grit his teeth, struggling to remain calm. It grated on him, hearing Max talk like this, so sincere yet confused at the same time. If only he'd accept what Dexter was telling him as the truth...

"Of course you didn't intend to do it." Sounding reassuring was rather far beyond Dexter right now; it seemed the only way to get through to Max was to be as blunt as possible. That, at least, hadn't changed. "You gave him something; it was during your disappearance. Some kind of illegal drug, no doubt; I don't know the details - you were hysterical when you finally called me and told me where you were - but he had an allergic reaction to it. You nearly killed him, Max." Maybe using his given name - something Dexter only rarely did - would impress on him the truth.

None of this sounded familiar, and his doubt kept elaborating and adding to his thoughts in ways he didn't want or need. None of it sounded familiar (because he didn't want to remember). It didn't sound like him because he wasn't that kind of person (or he was and just wished he wasn't, and came up with a way to be someone else). That couldn't be how things were (or it just wasn't how he wanted things to be).

DAX had always told him things he needed to hear, and that wasn't always what he wanted to hear. He'd never before wished that wasn't the case as much as he did now.

"I wouldn't... I wouldn't do something like that." Would Max? Had Max? He wasn't Max. "Why would I... why would he be here? I don't remember any of that... I'm not..."

He couldn't be this way, this person. He couldn't be someone so irresponsible, so childish and frightened, controlled by his family, reliant on DAX to take care of him, someone that sounded so... powerless and weak. He was a war veteran, a military genius who'd been unfairly persecuted by his people for his entirely natural desires, a great collector of creatures from all over the galaxy, a once-hero of his species, he was...

He was human. He was human, not a VUX.

ZEX's expression tightened, evidence of deep and painful thought, and he looked at DAX, who spoke with a voice he knew so well and was human, and did he know him because Max knew him, or because ZEX did? Was he actually speaking his language, or did he just think he was?

ZEX slowly pulled his hand from his eye, and he looked at DAX with both of his eyes open, blinking to adjust. DAX blurred in and out of focus, and split into two. Still seeing double. "I don't understand... it can't all be a lie, that doesn't make sense..." He struggled to think. "If... the Spathi, the Shofixti, they recognize me, that must mean something..."

"I don't know what Mr. Stern is doing here," Dexter admitted. "Madame - your mother - paid off the police...Hushed up everything to do with your disappearance. Probably he had a nervous breakdown in the hospital after he woke up from the coma, and was brought here by coincidence." An extremely inconvenient coincidence, as far as Dexter was concerned, though fortunately it would seem Caleb's memory was as blank as Max's. No doubt the family would already have heard from the police, if Caleb still had any memory of what lead to his coma.

Dexter sighed quietly, pained. "Sir, everyone here is as crazy you," he reminded the other men, as gently as he could manage. "You can't trust anything the other patients say, no matter how much their delusions seem to coincide with yours."

That made sense with the reality that DAX presented, which was unfortunate. If there'd been no reason, if he'd just been here, then it wouldn't have been so easily explained. If there was an explanation, even if it was one that he didn't want to hear...

"So you think my human is mad too? All of us, mad..." Fwiffo and Tanaka were in the same situation as he was... they believed they were something else, and yet were still human. But his Captain, he'd been unchanged by the experience, that gave him an element of believability that the others did not have, but... if he was merely party to his delusions...

Was that why his human remembered him being killed? Torn to pieces by his Beauty? Was that his human's unconscous revenge for what he'd done to him to put him in this place?

ZEX gasped at the thought, horrified and yet even worse, it fit. Within this terrible reality that explained everything he thought was true all too neatly, it fit and it left him with little else. If his Captain was trapped in the same delusions...

"Is that why...?" Under his breath, still horrified, and he reached out and took DAX's hand, squinting at him with both eyes open, trying to get him in focus. "Is that why, he told me, he told me I'd been killed, he saw me torn apart by my Beauty, he thought I was dead, that's why he didn't believe I was myself at first, is that why... because I did that to him, is that why..."

He squeezed DAX's hand, like he would have squeezed his arm if he was a VUX. If he was a VUX. His voice was strained and shaky. "Please... please tell me this isn't true."

"Sir," Dexter said, forcing his voice into a neutral tone, "You're hurting my hand." Max was gripping his hand like his life depended on it; it was hardly unbearable pain, but Dexter saw no reason why he should simply take it. He gently but firmly pried Max's fingers loose, then gently cuppped his hand; a small concession to Max's obvious distress.

"I know it's hard to face," he said, not unkindly. "But you must take responsibility for what you've done. No matter how comforting your delusions might seem - and I'm sure they're very nice, sir - you need to come back to the real world." He finally did something he'd wanted to do from the moment he'd come in, and pushed some of Max's hair back from his face. It was greasy; Max hadn't even been taking proper care of himself. "I can't protect you here," he admitted sourly.

He wasn't entirely surprised that DAX pulled away from him, knowing him, but he couldn't say he was happy about it either. There was a feeling like he was drowning, like he was paralyzed and couldn't breathe properly, sinking, and he was reaching out for something to bring him to safety, and he wanted it to be DAX but it felt like DAX was just dragging him down further, unless he'd gone too deep and couldn't tell up from down any further, and then maybe DAX was dragging him up, maybe he should have- maybe he was- this couldn't be-

"This can't be my life... it can't be this way." His voice cracked. "I can't... I don't..."

And then DAX touched him in a way that said he cared, which only made his words harder to ignore and fight against (why would DAX ever lie to him?), why wouldn't he escape the life DAX had described, and his eyes stung sharply for some reason.

"I want to be ZEX," he said thickly, starting to tremble. But wasn't that why he was here? What a childish thing to say, the more he thought about it. He either was or wasn't, there was no matter of wanting. And with the evidence DAX presented him... he wasn't known for running from his battles. But... what did he have to go back to? "You... you wouldn't have to protect him, he'd... I'd..."

He wasn't sure what to say to make this suffocation stop, everything seemed to make it worse, so he held onto DAX and stared through increasingly blurry vision.

"Sir..." Dexter had always known Max as someone who never took anything seriously; he could easily count the number of times he'd seen his charge even come close to crying on one hand, which made it all the more disturbing to see him breaking down like this.

"Stop that," he chided, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and carefully wiping Max's face. "Zex isn't real; he's someone you made up, because you couldn't face what you did to Caleb." Or didn't want to face, but there were limits to what even Dexter would say. "And...I don't mind protecting you." He doubted that was all that was keeping Max locked in his delusions, but it didn't hurt to cover all the bases.

"Perhaps we could go away somewhere," he said thoughtfully, and handed his handkerchief off to Max in case he started crying again. "After you've gotten over your delusions, and the doctors decide to release you. The wedding's more or less off for good; perhaps I could convince Madame to let me take you somewhere quiet, where you could finish healing."

The last thing he needed right now was his body to malfunction on him again, and much less in front of DAX. It was embarrassing, and again it got him wondering how he could feel so out-of-place in a human body, if he'd actually been human all along... but the mind was a powerful thing. Maybe he just... wanted it to be difficult, or... he didn't know what to think anymore. He could do without his eyes hurting though.

ZEX always did like to be touched, and he leaned into DAX's hand, although he wasn't sure what he was doing. It was easier to focus on how that felt, rather than anything else. If he could just... anything else, if there was anything else, rather than letting this doubt gnaw and gnaw at him until...

"Go somewhere with you?" ZEX said softly, taking the piece of cloth slowly. "Go home?" His voice hitched at the word 'home', his world, Cerenkov, all of it so clear in his memory and things the way they were supposed to be. "I do want to go home..." And he was increasingly beginning to fear that maybe he was never going to. The thought was extremely painful. "But you're probably not thinking of Cerenkov, are you..."

Anything else but this, anything... anything else. "I'll probably never go home again, will I..."

ZEX paused, reaching out for DAX's hand again. He looked down slightly. "If I... if I did leave here, with you... what would happen to my Captain? Caleb, what would happen to him?"

"I suppose you will have to spend some time at the estate first." Dexter frowned slightly at the thought. "Madame will want to see you, make sure you're truly well." He just hoped she didn't give Max a relapse in the process. It'd really be best for everyone if he could convince her to give him complete charge of Max, for as long as he could get away with, for everyone's sake. Dexter resolved to discuss it with her as soon as possible.

"You shouldn't think about him," Dexter said firmly, allowing Max to take his hand. He could hold it for as long as he wanted, as long as he didn't start squeezing again. "Just concentrate on conquering your delusions; doubtlessly he's doing the same." Though Dexter privately hoped Caleb would have far less luck with that than Max, for obvious reasons.

ZEX didn't much care for his real parents, much less the ones that DAX described... if they weren't in fact the same thing. He tried to force the thought away... there had to be something else he could think about, something...

"What was... the estate like?" That was... kind of neutral, wasn't it? "Did I have... did I have lots of animals?" That was almost enough to raise his spirits, and he tried at a weak smile. "I do love animals... all kinds of creatures..." Drifting off somewhat at the thought. His menagerie, had it ever existed? He could remember so much about it, every one of his children, when he'd added them, how to take care of them... would he have gone through so much trouble to create such a detailed delusion? Then again, he did love them... no doubt he would have spent a great deal of time on that particular part of his delusions, if it was one.

That backfired... he didn't feel any better than he did before.

"I want him," ZEX said, thinking more about the words as he spoke. "I want him." A bit stronger now. "If... if I'm going to get out of here, I want him to come with me. He's mine, I can't leave him here. It's, it's dangerous-"

That was it, that was- that was something he could use! He was sure that if he told DAX about the monsters at night he wouldn't believe him, but this, this he actually had proof. He moved away from DAX and reached down to pull up his right pantleg. It had been five days since he'd been attacked, but that wasn't long enough for all traces of the wound to disappear.

ZEX gestured at the white lines on his leg where he'd been bitten. "Look, look at this DAX, there are- there are monsters here, they come out at night, everyone denies it during the day but, but I was attacked, the thing bit me, look at this! There's something wrong here, this isn't-... it's not normal, there's... something wrong with this place, and-..." He wasn't quite sure how to relate that to his current identity crisis, but it was at least something else to focus on.

"Sir, you're not making any sense." Reaching out, Dexter tugged Max's pant leg back down where it belonged, covered the old wound. "You did that to yourself, while you were in withdrawal from all the drugs you took." It hadn't been pretty; Dexter supposed he wasn't surprised that Max apparently forgotten about it as well.

"I told you, it's not safe for you to have contact with Mr. Stern," he said impatiently. "His girlfriend is already making things difficult enough; I understand she even took her story to the vice principal of the school where he used to teach. And if Caleb were to ever recover his real memories of you, he'd most likely try to press charges. I doubt even Madame could keep it hushed up if that happened."

"I certainly did not." On this ZEX felt relatively certain. "It happened here, in this place, five... I think it was five days ago now. I was going to my Captain's room, and this thing attacked me..."

He hardly wanted to think of his inadequacies back then now, as unhappy as he was, and it wasn't like DAX would know if he was fudging the truth just slightly. "It caught me by surprise and bit me, twice, but I warded it off eventually. My Captain assisted me a little, but it happened, I'm sure of it. You can ask..."

Who? The Captain, who was supposedly also insane? The staff, who all denied such things ever took place? He had no reliable witnesses, no proof other than the wound and his word. That should have been enough, and yet somehow it... wasn't.

"You don't believe me, do you?" ZEX gave him a pained look. "I swear, it happened right here, I remember it..." That cursed trap again. Remember. How much did he or didn't he remember, and did it have any bearing on what was actually reality? He knew this was true... it shouldn't have been so difficult to prove. "I..."

That suffocating feeling again. For a moment he thought he had a chance, he had something to convince DAX to be on his side again, and it ended up as impotent a defense as his others. How he loathed being defenseless!

But there was still something else to think about. ZEX blinked at DAX curiously. "'Girlfriend'? What do you mean?"

"Sir, you're in a hospital," Dexter said in exasperation. "Other than possibly the other patients, what in the world is going to attack you?" Hm, that might have been phrased better. "It was probably some kind of hallucination or flashback." Maybe he should speak with one of the doctors about it, before he left; Max might require special care, if these flashbacks or whatever they were persisted.

Somewhat surprised by Max's sudden interest, Dexter said without thinking, "I don't know, some woman Caleb had been dating before he met you. He apparently called her from your hotel room shortly before you gave him whatever it was that put him in the coma; apparently she's very upset about the entire incident." Understandable, but for once Dexter agreed completely with Madam; she couldn't be allowed to harm Max.

"I know, it seems to be a hospital but at night it... it changes into..." ZEX was struck by how insane he must have sounded. How would he have reacted, if someone came to him on Cerenkov, told him that night, everything changed and they were attacked by inexplicable monsters? That was Spathi talk, not sensible people. ZEX was not a Spathi, and not given to needless paranoia, and that's what this must have sounded like. Any protestations he had, explanations of what went on here at night, the rooms unlocking, the creatures unleashed, the apparent war between two parties, he was sure DAX would not believe a word of it. And why should he? ZEX had no proof, just his word it was true, and if he was insane, delusional...

"I really must sound mad..." ZEX said, not quite to himself.

Dating? Vlad had mentioned something about dating... some human courtship ritual, if he remembered right. So his human's alterego had a relationship with someone else! He hadn't mentioned it... then again, if he was in the same situation as ZEX, he wouldn't remember. "I see... he hasn't mentioned anyone like that to me. Perhaps he's forgotten about her as well." She hadn't been enough to stop him from succumbing to ZEX's charms, after all, but then again he'd always been hard to resist. That was almost enough to lighten his spirits a little. "But either way, I simply cannot leave him here. It'd be very irresponsible, after all the progress we've made together. He's still my human, after all."

"You are mad, sir. The entire point of you being here is so you can get better." Officially, anyway. Dexter just hoped Madame wouldn't cause trouble when Max was finally read to leave Landel's. It was, perhaps, a terrible thing to think, but that wasn't going to stop him from considering all possibilities.

"Perhaps," Dexter was forced to agree. "But you can't count on that, sir. And taking him with you when you leave is completely out of the question. What if he recovers his memories? Do you want to go to prison?"

Although he already knew DAX thought he was mad, it still hurt on some level to hear him say it out loud. Again it made him doubt the veracity of his memories, what he thought was reality. It wasn't the life that DAX described that made ZEX want to "go back", far from it, but the idea of lying to himself about who he was. The very concept was repellant to him in so many ways; he swore long ago that he'd never pretend to be something he was not. If he was lying to himself about this entire ordeal, then he had an obligation, to his own character, to stop, even if the life he "returned" to instead sounded almost unbearable. It was the principle, his pride in a way at stake, and it was a weakness of his species.

The question came to what was the lie, and what was the truth. And his memories felt so much like truth... even when they fit so perfectly as lies. That sinking feeling again, that dread of not knowing which way is up.

"I don't think this place is helping me..." ZEX said eventually, in hopes of finding something to hold on to. The fact he wasn't sure, somewhere inside still not quite sure, if DAX was helping him or not (that he couldn't tell, even worse) was killing him.

"Surely my human wouldn't do such a thing." ZEX tried to laugh weakly and give his words the confidence he wished he had in them. "It was... a misunderstanding, I'd never hurt him intentionally." He still couldn't believe that he had hurt him; the irresponsibility of it galled him. "I'm sure he'd understand. He's very fond of me, you know."

"Oh?" Now that required some serious thought. Dexter did, after all, want Max to get better, and if Landel's wasn't helping him than obviously he needed to be moved to some place that would. The problem with that, of course, was that Madame's cooperation would be required to move Max anywhere, and somehow Dexter doubted she would very open to the idea.

"You haven't been here that long..." Dexter said slowly, trying to untangle the problem in his head as he spoke. "And I doubt you've been cooperating with the staff." Even when sane, Max never cooperated with anyone if he could get away with it, and Dexter saw no reason why insanity would change that. "The doctors here are trying to help you," he reminded Max, "but you have to want to get better before you'll make any progress."

"If Mr. Stern doesn't try to press charges after his release, then no doubt his girlfriend will," Dexter said firmly, brooking no argument. "It doesn't matter whether you did it on purpose, sir; what you did to him was still very much illegal, and Madame's ability to pay off the police isn't infinite." He was getting very tired of repeating himself. "That's why it's so important that you avoid him!"

It wasn't the place, it was the people here that helped him keep his sanity, mostly, although now DAX's words had put that into question itself. Had they simply made the situation worse? That couldn't be right, they'd all done such things together, he'd felt... happy here, at least once. After he and his Captain... that couldn't have made things worse.

At least the question had DAX thinking, and for a moment, a bridge between then and now formed in his mind. "It is true that I can be uncooperative when the mood takes me on occasion, as I'm sure you can remember..." ZEX had almost been smiling at the beginning of his statement, teasing almost, and then that cursed word. DAX, this DAX, he probably didn't remember, wouldn't know what he was talking about. How quickly it sobered his mood. "The doctors... yes, I do have a therapist now that I think about it." ZEX smiled just slightly. "He's very handsome, if I recall correctly..."

ZEX hovered a hand where his trunk should have been. "That's right, his female companion... that does make things complicated." ZEX tried to imagine a life without his Captain and found it too horrible to think about. There had to be some way around this. He paused, thinking hard. "If the real threat is outside these walls, from the authorities that you describe... why should I avoid him in here? If we are both mad, there's no danger, is there? As long as I am mad, they cannot get me here, can they?" ZEX wasn't sure how a human police system worked, but he was trying to gather the basics from what DAX had described.

"That would be an understatement," Dexter said dryly. "You're one of the most uncooperative people I've ever met." He sounded almost affectionate, saying that. And of course his doctor's looks would be the first thing Max remembered about him. "You should more pay attention to the things he says to you," he chided. "He has your best interests at heart, just as I do."

Dexter frowned deeply at Max's next words, whatever beginnings there might have been of a good mood evaporating completely. "He's mad now, just as you are," Dexter pointed out. "But he's also here to receive treatment, just like you. Can't you see that insisting on remaining close to him just increases the chances of him remembering what you did? It's true that at, as long as you're certifiably insane, you can't be arrested for anything; but do you really want to live the rest of your life here?" Dexter, needless to say, did not care of that idea at all.

DAX's tone was so familiar, it brought back memories of time spent idly at Cerenkov, their days during the War, and how much he wanted that right now, something familiar, to see DAX as he knew him again, one eye and head feelers in smooth motion. ZEX closed his eyes... if he heard DAX's voice at least he could mentally provide the proper image.

"Yes, I had something of a reputation for it." This DAX wouldn't know what he was talking about, but ZEX wanted him to so badly that he said it anyway, kept going and trying to capture the light, teasing tone he used to have around him. "Being uncooperative, among other things. I'm not sure if they were all deserved..."

A pang of doubt, frustration at his inability to find the surface and swim again, still suffocating. Of course DAX had his best interests at heart, he'd always been loyal to him; even when everyone else turned against him, DAX had stayed by his side. Doubting him made his chest tighten with the feeling that something was wrong, there had to be some other source of doubt, it couldn't be DAX. Something as mutable and intangible as his memories, that wasn't as solid as the rhythm of DAX's voice.

Stumbling and still sinking further. He held onto DAX's hand tightly, looking down. "I don't want to be here anymore..." ZEX said, softly after some time. "I don't want... to be Max. I want to go home." He shut his eyes, mind in turmoil, doubts and memories shrieking endlessly at each other to try to overpower the other. "I want things to be normal again."

And even then, that still wasn't exactly right, wasn't all he wanted... "I want him to come with me." He'd spent so much time capturing him, he could not let him go now. There had to be a way to make DAX understand. "He's... everytime I see him, there's this feeling I can't describe, there's this desire, after such a long time waiting, he was the most beautiful human I'd ever seen. Twenty years and my miracle human, and I found him here somehow, and to lose him again, I can't..." Desperately trying to somehow convince DAX, put their relationship in words. "He means so much to me, my most precious treasure, the star of my menagerie of monsters, and..."

The sentiment reworded, and ZEX trembled a little. "I don't want to lose him."

"Sir..." Dexter had never been the impulsive type, but this situation was so far from normal, and he was growing so frustrated with saying the same thing over and over...Perhaps acting on impulse was the thing to do, in this kind of situation. He awkwardly put his arms around Max's shoulders, tugging him closer and petting his greasy hair.

"I realize this must be confusing for you," he said coldly, his real feelings reflected as always reflected more accurately by his actions than his words. "But can you at least continue to trust me? I want only what's best for you, just as I always have." If he could somehow convince Max to believe him, then maybe everything else would fall into place. Unlikely, perhaps; but what else could he do but try?

ZEX was frustrated, trying to find a way to make what he knew, wanted to be true and make this suffocating feeling stop and he wasn't prepared for DAX to reach out for him. Although even if he had known what he intended to do, he wouldn't have moved away.

ZEX liked to be touched, and held, and had been described back home as being at best a "very tactile" type of person, and so having DAX suddenly hold him like that was immediately, tangibly comforting in an almost deafening way. He returned the gesture without thought, pressing his head against DAX's shoulder with a quiet "mmmhh" sound. DAX touched his hair, much like his Captain did, and the gesture instantly made him feel a wave of affection and warmth, something he'd desperately needed.

DAX asked him questions and ZEX wished he wouldn't, just let him bask in his human embrace, and he tried to think of a response. Being held by someone made his thoughts realign in much simpler ways. "Of course I trust you, DAX..." If only that solved his problem, but it only made it worse. He couldn't leave his Captain here, after everything they'd done together.

He couldn't think of anything else to say, so he tried to focus on how DAX's arms felt instead and stop thinking.

Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

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