damned_institute | Day 32: Intercom, Evening

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Day 32: Intercom, Evening

The intercom clicked on and the Head Doctor spoke with his usual fervor.

"Good evening, patients and staff! I am pleased to announce that the arrival of nearly all of our new patients will conclude this shift. In addition, we have a very delicious dinner in store for you: carved Turkey with a side of mashed potatoes and steamed, seasoned vegetables. For drinks, we have our usual assortment available, and as a dessert included with your dinner, we will be serving a slice of warm apple pie with each meal.

"I trust that those of you enjoying the company of new roommates will give them a warm Landel's welcome, and I also hope that those of you who participated in therapy today were able to find a productive time with their doctors.

"That's all for now! Enjoy dinner, everyone!"

The intercom clicked off again.

[ Please respond to this post with all dinner shift threads between roommate, putting your character's respective room in the subject line. While we have none scheduled for this shift at this time: all introduction posts for this shift's group of new characters should be made in response to this post; the introduction may then continue on to be a regular roommate thread. ]

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"Sometimes..." Artemis corrected, recalling his conversation with Schuldig and Yohji. He really was ruined until he figured out how to fix himself. The answer wasn't exactly coming to bite him, either.

"Don't say that," Artemis pleaded, touching Haku's hand gently. "Don't say there's nothing we can do. Please." Of course, part of him knew that this was true--no matter what happened, they were both powerless to stop it. But all the same, he didn't like hearing that he had been de-clawed. "He's alive, I know he is. He wouldn't leave you alone. If I wouldn't, he wouldn't."

Haku smiled again. "No, he wouldn't leave me willingly," he said. He hoped. "He ... died as well before waking here."

Shaking off the thoughts that followed that one, he took a breath before turning back to Artemis. "Until I know exactly what happened though, there really is nothing I can do. To attempt anything could be suicide on my part, and I'm not allowed that, remember?" His tone was lightly teasing.

Artemis didn't know how much more death and inevitability he could take. It was all very frustrating, being powerless to help Haku or stop Landel. If he was home, and had access to everything usually at his disposal...

The boy took Haku's hand gently, careful not to aggravate his wounds. "No, you're not allowed," he said firmly. "You're to stay here with me, alive and well."

Rather firm for someone so frail, but Artemis couldn't help but express what he felt. He was getting better at it, at least. And with that, perhaps he would be able to pick a side.

Haku leaned carefully and lightly against his roommate, careful not to put too much weight in either Artemis or his own wounds. Of course, he wasn't terribly heavy to start off, but two (sometimes three) regular meals a day was putting some weight back on him.

"Enough about me and my moping. Who, or what, attacked you?"

Well, that was precisely the question Artemis wanted to avoid. He was silent for a moment, debating whether or not to answer. On the one hand, Haku was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. On the other, he would most likely seek Caleb out when he found out it was a person and not a dumb animal that had done this to him.

"If I answer, you're going to go looking for it, aren't you?"

Artemis didn't want to tell him. That meant he either was trying to protect Haku, or he was embarrassed.

"Yes." Lying would get him nowhere and he liked to think his friend trusted him enough to share.

Artemis winced at the answer, his brow creasing in internal conflict. He couldn't do it.

"Please Haku, you have to understand, he threatened you as well. If you found him, he would only do something worse to you to hurt me."

Ah, so it was protection. "Artemis, I would not simply rush out without any kind of plan, and certainly not while I'm in this condition. But, he still hurt you, physically and emotionally. I will confront him sooner or later, and I would rather know everything I can about someone before I face them."

Haku smiled slightly again. "I won't allow him to use me against you. Causing you fear and panic over this is a way to attack you."

"But he was so fast... so fast," Artemis breathed, curling closer to Haku at the memory of Caleb rushing him and putting that burning signet ring to his throat. "He broke my arm like it was nothing, threw me across a room as though I were a soiled shirt...

"And he knew. He knew everything I thought, everything that Farfarello thought. He knew about you, and how I felt about you--and he knew every single insecurity I have. And he..." Artemis' hand gripped the bandage on the side of his neck. He wanted that mark gone. He wanted to rip it off his skin--the haunting reminder of everything that Caleb had told him. "He said everything that I didn't want said aloud. Everything that I had pushed away, he announced to the world. And the worst part was that he was right. I am a whore."

Eyes narrowed, Haku's voice softened. "No. He was not right. You are not a whore, you are not weak, and he didn't announce it to anyone except you."

One arm came up to wrap around his friend, the other moved to cover the hand that gripped the bandage. "You are Artemis Fowl, a very strong young man and that man holds no more sway over you than you let him. His words were said to hurt you, and if he has, then he wins."

"Yes, he's hurt me, and I'll never forget what he said. Never. Not as long as this is still on my neck," Artemis' hand tightened on the bandage.

"I don't know how I can simply not feel hurt by what he said. Especially when everything he said was correct: I spend too much time worrying about my own feelings and my own usefulness. I can't figure out which side I'm on. And concerning you... I don't know what to think anymore. I don't want to scare you, but these feelings scare even me. I don't know how to not to lose in this situation. The fact that I heard those words doomed me from the beginning. And now I'm doomed to remember it every single day I see this...!"

Haku's hand tightened on Artemis' and he tugged it away from the bandage. Keeping it held in his own hand, he shifted and pressed his lips very lightly over the bandage there before drawing back and placing their hands back in place.

"That is nothing more than a scar. No matter what, I'm still here, with you. I don't care which side you choose, and I know that the friends you speak so highly of will not care either. What matters to the ones that care about you is your safety and well-being. That man... what is he to you? He means nothing in the larger picture. He's a tool of Landel."

"No," Artemis moaned, "Don't... it's not just a scar."

It was now or never, apparently. He slowly pulled the bandage off, revealing the upside-down cross burnt into his pale skin. "He, as a person, means nothing to me in the long run but... this mark reminds me of everything that I don't want to think about or remember. This will never leave me--it's a brand. He's taken me as his own, Haku, and I'll never, ever, get out from under his influence as long as I stay the way I am now."

Haku's hand hovered over the mark and he knew, without a doubt, that he would have to kill the man that had marked Artemis.

"Then, if he has you as you are now, it is time to change." Haku's hand moved from his friend's neck to his cheek. "You are here, with me and safe. You've already changed a great deal in the few days I've known you and despite the tumoil it has caused, I would like to think that it is for the better. Unless... You really do not wish to be my friend?" A possibility. This man that had harmed him may have given him reason to doubt.

"No!" Artemis said immediately. "That's not it, not at all, Haku!

"What is terrifying me is..." He paused, unsure of what to say. How to go about this? "What is terrifying me is how... how much I like you. Yes, I've changed, but this change is one that was no doubt a blessing from whatever powers that be." Artemis took Haku's sleeve again, tugging it lightly. "You have no idea. The thoughts that I think. I would be struck dead on the spot should such things become public.

"But the other things... following orders obediently, not formulating plans of my own, turning to the Captain for every little thing. I'm no longer the person I used to be--this place has changed me into something so far from what I am, I may as well be a girl by now.

"And I don't know how to go back. I'm lost, and I feel as though the only thing I can hang onto... is you. And I'm scared that I'll scare you, and you'll run."

Haku smiled and the expression chased away some of the worry that had settled into his eyes.

"Artemis, for all that you know, all that you've seen and done and been before this place... You are still young and still human. You're going to change as you settle into something that feels right to you, and you'll find that you've made choices that fit and ones that don't. This place changes everyone," he went on. "It's changed you, Zabuza-san, the people I knew from before, and even myself. In a place like this, to go back to how you were before... couldbe fatal."

He tugged Artemis closer, mindful of his still sore injuries, and smiled again.

"Something that you can count on here though, is no matter what you do, or say, I will be here with you as long as I breathe."

Artemis listened to what Haku had to say, and slowly came to accept that what Haku was saying was true. Human beings change--especially when placed in situations of extreme discomfort. What had Renji said? The only thing he could count on was change, and he could fight the change as much as he liked, but it was still there.

And the truth was, aside from the good-little-soldier role, he liked who he was becoming. He had friends, he had people he'd stick his neck out for, he had people he respected. He was still a force to be reckoned with, and his tongue hadn't lost any of its bite. Maybe... just maybe... being warm was okay.

Artemis seized hold of his insides and drummed up his courage. Mimicking what he'd seen Schuldig do, Artemis gently nuzzled Haku's ear affectionately.

"I can, and will, make the same promise to you."

Laughing softly, Haku turned towards the hesitant affection. "Thank you," he said. "Just keep both promises in mind when you start to feel adrift and you should be at least a bit better off."

He wondered where Artemis, shy and stumbling in a sweet way, had picked up some of the things he did, like the nuzzling, but he also wondered if it would be impolite to ask. He liked the shows of affection very much, he was simply curious.

"I will, I promise. If I have you to keep reminding me of those two things, I should be better off. I feel better off, at least."

In normal circumstances, for example, Artemis wouldn't have dared to bear his soul to any person he hadn't known for very long. He knew he was open and vulnerable, but part of him pushed the rational side of him down and urged him to keep going.

...he just didn't know where to go from here. Schuldig had spoke in Yohji's ear, and the other man had seemed to like it. Maybe he could try that and see what happened?

He leaned in to Haku's ear and whispered, "The same goes for you, of course. If you need me, I'm always right here. Always."

This felt rather awkward...

Haku laughed and turned his head away. "Ah, that tickled." Reaching up he tapped on Artemis' nose lightly and smiled.

"You know, not very many people get that close to me and get off with anything less than a broken nose." A reminder that for all his kindness and the gentle smile he wore, Haku was still a trained killer. "Where on earth are you picking this stuff up?"

He liked the closeness, but this didn't really seem like Artemis... and if the boy was under some strange impression about him or had been reading one too many of those sorts of books.... well, He'd have to set the other boy straight.

Well, that had an instant cooling effect on Artemis' actions. The boy pulled away slightly, looking a little confused.

"It's just... well, my friend Schuldig did these sorts of things to his partner--" And quite a bit more, at that... "--and I thought that was what one normally did to express affection." He looked uneasy. "Are you going to break my nose now? Did I do something wrong? Did it not feel nice?"

Haku shook his head. "Oh, no. I'm not going to hurt you." He smiled.

"There are plenty of different ways of showing affection," Haku said. "That's one of them, but ... something like that is usually reserved mostly for lovers or people with a more intimate relationship. There are exceptions of course..." He was remembering what he'd seen as a small boy, and while growing up in the Land of Water.

"I like it when you're close though, so no. You didn't do anything wrong. Just ... unexpected."

"Oh..." Artemis' face went very red. Well, this was an embarrassing situation. Why in the name of Frond did he take relationship advice from Schuldig of all people? That was like a one-way ticket to A World of Pain.

"I just... thought that since we've kissed that we had a relationship like theirs. I'm still getting used to this, so you'll have to forgive me." Artemis laid his head on Haku's shoulder again, gently of course, and with a bit more restraint.

"Once the night comes, I can heal you. I'd like to, if you'd let me."

"We're close," he said, wanting to reassure his friend. "Very close."

Thinking for a moment as Artemis rested against him, Haku ran over what he knew. Artemis was getting information from people he didn't know, but that were in a relationship of some sort; Artemis had abilities he hadn't known about until now; and finally, Artemis was most likly interested in a deeper relationship, but his age and lack of experiance made him awkward.

Shifting slightly in his bed, a cool hand on his cheek, Haku moved Artemis' head up and lightly kissed him. Pulling back and smiling warmly, he shook his head. "I know that the use of power here can hurt the one using it. I will be fine, but thank you. Really."

This was completely and totally unfair. Artemis' mind went completely to mush whenever Haku did that. He nearly didn't have the will to argue with him.

Nearly.

"It doesn't hurt me. It's just difficult to get going sometimes." He conveniently left out the part about it being drained every time he used it. Artemis figured that would only make Haku refuse again. "Please. I don't like seeing you in pain when I can help..."

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