damned_institute | Day 30: Cafeteria, Dinner

[free to bug, since Hermione dropped]

Harry didn't really pay attention to his plate as dinner was served. He was looking around the room, completely distracted by the thoughts of Hermione being here. So far the mess hall wasn't filled very much, but he would have to keep his eyes open to find her. If she really was here... he wasn't sure what he would do. For one, he would be grateful to have his friend with him. Hermione was one of the few people he could really count on. The problem was that he wasn't really okay with the idea of anyone he cared about being in danger.

He moved to sit at a table where he could see the rest of the room, nervously torn between wanting to see her and the hope that the person who had posted on the bulletin board had been incorrect.

[Attack of the red-heads!]

It wasn't that far from where he and Kairi had been to the person he was hoping was Harry Potter. Renji set his tray down across from the young man and sat. He wasn't all that good with the social niceties; he tended to forget them at times.

"Evening," he said. "I think we've been wanting to meet. I'm Abarai Renji. And this is Kairi." Introductions were always important, after all.

Kairi had been happy to go and speak to someone new, so when Renji had dragged her towards the other table, she went willingly.

Sitting down next to Renji (she suddenly felt bad for being all bandaged up – she was sure she looked frightening to the young man who she sat across from) Kairi flashed the boy her brightest smile. “Hello. I hope we’re not bothering you or anything. It’s just … you were alone and all, so we thought we’d come and say hi!”

She had a feeling Renji wasn’t all that good at small talk introductions, so Kairi was fully willing to start things off with a simple question. “What’s your name?”

Harry looked at Renji and then did a double-take at the girl. She didn't look anything like Ginny but still... red-hair was more comforting to him than it ought to have been. He was a little worried that such a young and pretty girl had gotten so hurt, but he thought it was best not to pry. Everyone seemed to have at least a little bit of bandages around here.

"I'm Harry," he said. He smiled at Renji. "It's nice to finally meet you. And it's nice to meet you Kairi." A small beat. "Have either of you seen a girl with thick brown hair named Hermione?" he asked both of them. He was happy for company but he was also worried about his friend. "Someone told me that she was here, but I've been looking and haven't found her. She's really smart and brave and she's one of my best friends."

So he had been right. That was a relief, and it saved him some minor embarassment. Even if he was trying to follow River's advice and be a little less prideful - at least to the point that it wasn't going to drive him mad - old habits died hard.

"I don't think I have," Renji said. He paused for a moment, thinking. It was hard to keep track of things, especially when there was an influx of new people, but he normally did his best to at least mentally catalogue the younger people. They were the ones that needed the most protecting, so he liked keeping track of them even if he didn't talk to all of them. "No, I'm pretty sure I haven't. Sorry." It was too bad he'd never met this person, since at least then he could make a more difinitive check. "I hope that the person who told you was wrong," he said. It was good to have friends, but at the same time it was better for them to not be here.

"Oh yeah. A couple nights ago, I did see the... uh... Dementor? One of those things."

“It’s nice to meet you too, Harry,” Kairi responded with an equally bright smile. Well, he was quite nice! Always a good thing.

At the mention of seeing his friend, her smile faltered and fell and was replaced with a frown. She was silent for a moment as she thought back on her experiences, and she finally cape up with an answer. “I don’t believe I’ve seen your friend. I’m sorry. I’ll be sure to keep a look out for her, though.” It was always sad to be told that your friend was close, and yet so far. She felt her heart fell slightly as she thought about poor Harry’s situation – it reminded her of Riku. So close, yet so far.

Turning towards Renji at the mention of … whatever it was he had seen, she tilted her head to the side before picking up her fork and shoving some of her food into her mouth. “What’s a Dementor?”

Harry nodded. It wasn't a definite answer, but he was relieved at the idea that Hermione wasn't actually here. Still... he found himself wanting her advise.

At the mention of a dementor Harry's eyes grew more serious. He could worry about Hermione on his own time, right now he needed to know about the dementor. "You did? Where was it? Is everyone okay?" He looked at Kairi and made the choice not to candy-coat the truth just because she was a girl. "A dementor is something from my world. They used to guard the prision of my country, but they've always been evil. They feed off of every good thought, feeling and memory and leave you with nothing but the most horrible experiences of your life. The first time I met one, I remembered the night my parents were murdered and passed out from the experience." That had been the first time he had ever remembered hearing his mother's voice. His mother... the woman who had seen him yesterday. He shoved that aside and focused on explaining.

"When they've taken everything good out of you, they kiss you and devour your soul. They don't kill you, but what's left isn't really you. You're just a shell. There is a charm that can protect you from them. It's... sort of an expression of all the good thoughts and feelings inside of you, because it cannot feel sadness the dementor can't hurt it. Casting it... requires a wand, which I haven't had since the day I got here," he said that part quietly since he didn't want the wrong people to know he was defenseless. "And a lot of concentration and will. Chocolate counters the weakness and cold feeling that comes over you when you're around the dementor, but it doesn't really protect you against it or fight it off."

It was weird, to hear him say the words that Remus had taught him, knowing that Remus was dead now. But then... Snape had died too, and so had his parents, and they were all brought back in this place. Maybe Remus could too.

"It was in the upstairs hallway, guarding the rooms that they use for torturing people at night." Under the table, he reached over to find Kairi's hand for a moment, giving it a gentle, friendly squeeze. He thought it might be bad to talk about that in front of her, painful perhaps, but he also had to be frank about things. It was his nature. "Rukia... my partner, was able to hold it for a short time with a bakudou... uh... binding... uh... spell." He had to pause awkwardly as he thought of the more common words people seemed to use for their spiritual abilities. He didn't know why that had to make things so difficult. "It escaped before I could reach it to attack."

He went back to eating. He wasn't going to let a grim discussion ruin a decent meal. "They sound like Hollows," he said. "Except Hollows kill people when they eat their souls. Those are the things that it's our job to redeem. So If we ever get our zanpakuto back we'll have to search it out and take care of it." He snorted. "It was kinda depressing to be around."

And just like that her good mood was gone. The mention of torturing at night caused her to wince, and while she couldn’t show it, Kairi was exceedingly grateful for the hand squeeze. She returned the motion quickly before releasing his hand so she could rest her elbows against the table, her chin nestled against her knuckles as she listened to the two boys speak.

“They also sound like heartless,” she whispered softly once the two were done commenting, her heart beat beginning to beat even at the word. She was able to keep her slight twitch under control, at least. “From my world. Except they don’t steal souls, just your heart. And you … die, for the most part.”

Trying to make the conversation a bit lighter, Kairi looked to Harry with a curious smile. “I take it you know magic then? That’s pretty cool. I tried to learn magic once from Sora and Riku, but it was too complicated for me.”

Harry was thankful for the subject change and he was also glad that Renji had escaped the dementor. From what he had read on the bulletin though, they were the least of the worries here at Landels.

Harry ate a bit of his food as he nodded and swallowed before responding. "On my world there's an entire school for wizards," he pointed out. "My parents were both magical, but they died when I was really young..." There it was again, talking about his parents. He frowned and put his fork down. He would gladly continue the conversation, but first he needed to know something.

"Renji?" he asked, looking at the man. "The visitors that come. What do your people make of them? Are they really the people they look like or are they fakes? On my world there's plenty of ways for people to look like other people, but considering everything I've seen here I think it's also possible that they've been brainwashed or are being controlled some other way."

"I bet you could learn kidou, Kairi. You've got a strong soul," Renji said. "You should ask Rukia to show you some, one night at dinner. She's real good at it." He chuckled. "Though it is pretty complicated. We're a lot alike, I guess. I'm not... real good at kidou."

Listening to Harry talk, he wondered if maybe these people were something like Quincies. Before they'd been wiped out, they'd sounded pretty organized. Still, pondering aside, he said, "I'm sorry to hear that." Death wasn't a big deal, but he supposed it still sucked for the people that got left behind.

He set his fork down when Harry asked about the visitors, losing his smile, his face going still. "I didn't have a visitor last week. The one from this week... he wasn't someone from home. He was someone I knew from here." His voice got quieter as he spoke. He looked at the wall past Harry's head. "It was him. Like the real person. You can't disguise a soul."

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents, Harry,” Kairi whispered softly to the boy, a sad smile crossing her lips. “I never knew my parents. Or, at least, I don’t remember them.” A pause, and she continued. “The magic school sounds pretty fun, though. You’re lucky.”

A strong soul. That made Kairi wince once again, and she turned to look at Renji with a forced smile. “You think so? Thank you.” It made her wonder – if she had a strong soul, would the darkness have affected it in any way? She knew she was a strong person (it was her mantra lately) but she honestly did not know how much damage the darkness had done to her since she had accepted it.

Another thing she’d have to wait out.

“Someone from here?” Shock filled Kairi’s face as Renji’s voice slowly became quiet, and she reached out to place her hand gently against his arm. She had never had a visitor, so to hear about a visitor coming for a friend of hers was quite the surprise. Turning to Harry, she frowned, looking at him with concerned eyes. “Did you have a visitor too?”

Harry nodded at Renji's information. "You're sure?" he asked, just because he didn't want to believe it. "I'm sorry... about your friend."

He looked at Kairi and managed a small smile. At least she could relate in some ways, maybe she could understand why it bothered him so much. "Yeah, my parents."

Renji didn't remember his parents; he'd died too young and Shinigami never recalled much of their living time anyway. He didn't see a reason to add that to the discussion, though. It was different, for him, he guessed. At this point he'd lived so long without thinking about it, with Rukia as his only family, that it didn't bother him in the slightest.

"It was Nowe," he said. "He disappeared about a week ago. Still gotta tell Sora about it."

He looked back at Harry, frowning. "I don't know what it means," he said. "Whatever they did to Nowe, he believed all of the lies they keep telling us in this place. He claimed that he just had some kind of... uh... moment, where he realized that they were right and he was somehow all better. I don't know. But it was him. I don't know if it's the same for the other visitors, though. The things here at night, that look like people we know, don't have souls. It could be something like that. But I don't know. I didn't... look at anyone else while I was there."

He'd been far too upset to think of something that simple, or smart.

“Oh,” came Kairi’s small response to Harry’s parent comment, her eyes lowering to peer at the table in silence. “I’m sorry to hear about that.” She allowed the topic to end there, knowing it was for the best. She didn’t know what she would have done if it were her adoptive parents that ever visited her – it wouldn’t be as bad as Harry’s visit, because at least her parents were alive (as far as she knew, anyway) so she couldn’t even fathom what he had gone through.

Nowe. She vaguely remembered the conversation between Sora and Renji when they had all first met – Renji had been injured and they had gone to visit and she had overheard. She had suspected he was a friend, but from the sounds of things, he was much more than a simple acquaintance.

“Maybe …” Kairi spoke up finally, a frown crossing her lips as she tried to think. “Maybe it’s like what Naminé and I are. Naminé is my Nobody – she and I look quite similar, except she has blonde hair. Her and I have completely different personalities, yet we are still basically the same person in a sense. Maybe it was something like that? It could have been him, but it might not have been at the same time?”

Harry felt a little better at having admitted what happened to him. It had still shaken him pretty badly. All of his life he had wanted to meet his parents and just when he had grown past that they were there, staring him in the face. It was a difficult thing to deal with.

"Even if it is them," Harry added after Kairi spoke. "We'll find a way to save them." He had to believe that, or else what would be the point of continuing. He was a little curious about this 'nobody' thing that Kairi was talking about though he wasn't sure if now was the right time to ask about it. He would have to remember to do so later.

"We will," Renji agreed with Harry. He'd already promised as much to Nowe, even if the kid wasn't aware of it. "No one gets left behind." Perhaps they would find Ichigo on the outside, and Byakuya as well, though that thought was rather disturbing on its own. "And if they're coming here to see people, I bet the former prisoners are still in the general area." He sounded very certain and confident; he didn't allow for the possibility of defeat.

He gave Kairi a rather confused look. "What's a Nobody?" he asked. And the way she'd said it... "Does everyone have one, where you're from?"

Oh. That’s right, she had never explained what a Nobody was.

“Oh!” Kairi perked up suddenly, a slight blush crossing her cheeks as she lifted her good hand to cover her mouth. “I should have explained earlier.” A sheepish smile crossed her lips, and she reached up with her hand to scratch absent-mindedly at the bandage that was covering the scratches on her cheek.

“A Nobody is like … a shell, Harry had mentioned. Not everyone has them back in my world, no. I know Sora has one, but that’s about it. Anyway, one gets a Nobody only if they hold a strong heart … and then they lose that heart. In that instant when the heart and body are separated, a Nobody is created. They’re kind of like a shadow of your original self, but … not,” a pause, and Kairi continued. “They don’t have a heart. They can’t exactly feel any emotions, but they do remember what they feel like, so they are able to act like they have them. Though, for Naminé, she can feel some things. Roxas can too, I think – oh, Roxas is Sora’s Nobody.”

“Anyway, most Nobodies have some sort of power. For instance, my friend, Axel, can control fire. He’s a Nobody too, but …” a pause, and Kairi felt her heart speed up a little. “He’s … different too. Then there’s the other Nobodies, who formed Organization XIII. They’re … … just. I don’t know. Most of them are not good people.”

Harry listened to Kairi and thought about it. It sounded a little more like the Inferi to him, but those were dead people who had their bodies controlled, they couldn't really think on their own. He wished he had someone like Snape, Dumbledore of Remus around who would know if there was anything like that on his world. Actually, he hadn't seen Snape in a while either. He glanced around the mess hall, but caught no sight of his ex-Potions Master. He didn't want to worry about it too much, so instead he kept his focus on Kairi.

She was really cute, actually, in a way where she was younger than Harry and he wasn't actually attracted to her, but where he did feel comforted around her. He wished he had some kind of healing potion or something he could give her to help with the injuries. She didn't exactly remind him of Ginny, but it was close enough that he felt the desire to befriend her and protect her.

He really didn't have anything to add to what she had said, but one thing had unsettled him slightly. "That's got to be difficult. To remember emotions but not have them."

The explanation sort of made sense, if he thought of it in terms of souls rather than hearts. Kind of. He blinked a few times, grasping on to the more curious point. "You and Sora lost your... hearts? Then... got them back?"

Now that was truly odd.

Renji finished up his dinner. He'd wanted a good meal under his belt before he did anything. He still needed to be in good shape for tonight, so he couldn't give Kairi everything he had, but he could at least fix up her hand, and maybe some of the cuts and bruises.

"Hold still for a second." He reached over to rest his hand lightly on top of her injured one, then closed his eyes as he began to recite the incantation. He didn't push as much of his energy in to her as he could have, stopping short of giving himself one of those concentration destroying headaches. Still, he was feeling very dizzy when he opened his eyes again.

“Mhm. Actually, it happened –“ but she decided not to speak about last night. She had barely even spoken to Sora about it, anyway. “… I’m sure Sora would be able to tell you more about it than I could.”

When Renji told her to sit still, Kairi did as she was told. Turning back to Harry, she nodded her head and smiled sadly. “It does. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t … feel genuine things. I mean, I’m sure they can feel something …” a pause, and she frowned. “Actually. I know they can feel hate and anger. But other than that? Nothing, I don’t believe. Envy, maybe. But that’s all I can think of from what I’ve seen.”

Looking back towards Renji when she realized her hand didn’t hurt, she soon figured out what he had done and reached out to grasp onto his arm in a tight hug. She had seen Rukia last night, and the poor girl had practically almost fallen over.

That still didn't sound very fun to Harry. To only be able to feel emotions that made you miserable? Never happiness or friendship or love? That was worse than death.

He watched Renji with some curiosity as he touched Kairi and muttered some words. "What did you just do?" he asked, confused, as Kairi hugged the red haired man.

"I'll ask him about it some time," Renji said. It did sound sad, to only be able to feel things like anger. Though if the example Byakuya set was to be believed, not feeling anything at all would be best. It wasn't an example Renji wanted to follow, to be certain. As much as his passions got him in trouble, he preferred the way he was to the alternative.

After he finished the incantation, he gave Kairi a crooked smile. "Hand all better?" he asked. That had been his main concern. Having only one hand to use was - he knew well from experience - sucky.

He turned his head slowly so he could look at Harry. Even if a little dizzy, he felt lucky; he'd escaped even the nose bleed, it seemed. But he also knew that if he tried to use kidou again this night, he would be flat on his face. That was how it worked. "Kidou," he said. "For healing. 's not much, but it's better than nothing."

While Sora wasn't sure why they were having dinner in the cafeteria, he wasn't about to protest. All he knew was that he hadn't eaten all day, which meant that he made a beeline for the food line the minute he entered the room.

Piling his food with the pork, along with mashed potatoes with gravy and corn on the cob (coleslaw was gross), his arms strained under the wait of his tray as he turned to the room at large and looked for a place to sit.

Kairi was the first person he spotted, and he was elated to see that she was with Renji and Harry, as well! He had only met Harry once, on the bus with Artemis, but he had seemed like a nice person, so Sora didn't hesitate in heading over to the group of three.

His hair was still a little damp from the shower, so it wasn't spiking up as much as it should have, but he did his best not to fuss with it. He was too busy thinking about his empty stomach.

Taking a seat next to Kairi, he sent a bright grin at Renji and Harry. "Hey! It's cool if I sit here, right?" He hoped it was, since he didn't want to put off eating any longer than he had to.

“Renji …” Kairi whispered, releasing his arm once she was sure he wasn’t going to topple over, “you didn’t need to do that … especially if something happens tonight.” Though, nothing could be changed now. Looking down to her wrapped up hand, she slowly began to unwind the bandages from around her hand. Once the appendage was free, she flexed her fingers and smiled. “But … thank you.”

Turning to look at Sora once he sat down on her other side, Kairi smiled and waved her now healed hand. “It’s fine! How’re you, Sora?”

She suspected that he had already known Harry considering how friendly he was being, so she didn’t introduce him or anything.

Day 30: Cafeteria, Dinner

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