damned_institute | NIGHTSHIFT 28: M31-M40 HALLWAY

"No, I don't." There was no denying it. "Of course Shadow knows who he is. I think he would have questioned out status as cousins a bit if he didn't." There was a light note in Valyn's voice, the only indication that he was making a joke.

"But your uncle doesn't know." Of course, back home, he wouldn't have. That would have revealed Shadow as a halfblood and meant his certain death. "Does he dislike him, too?"

"It's not something we've talked about much." There wasn't much to think about or discuss when it came to Treves. He just... was. "It isn't as though Treves has had any influence on Shadow's life. He's just... another elven lord, I suppose. That's mostly how I look at him. He's just another elven lord, not influential, but possibly a problem that may need to be dealt with in the future."

He knew that the man was his uncle, but that was such a vague idea. The only 'family' that had ever had a direct influence on Valyn's life had been Dyran.

"Not a very close-knit bunch, are you?" Shana commented ruefully, shaking her head slightly. The Kin had been fractious, yes, but there had been a definite sense of family there, a closeness - especially with her foster mother and foster brother. She couldn't imagine growing up without that.

"Are all elven houses like that?"

"No. Elven society doesn't breed close familial relationships. Wives and daughters are possessions, heirs are useful as long as they're kept in line, and father's are a barrier on the path to power. Family is important in the sense that it's needed for political ties, and to prove the strength of a House. But the actual family members..." They were just useful displays, really.

"All the elven houses I've ever been exposed to. It's possible the less powerful families are different, but I wouldn't know."

"It's a shame," she replied, sounding distracted and thoughtful. She wondered if that would ever change? Elves were missing out. No wonder they were so disagreeable.

"Is it?" It wasn't as though Valyn had any desire to be close to his family. They weren't very likable people as it was.

"It is," she answered, glancing over at him. "I have very happy memories of growing up with Alara and Keman. Maybe if elves had families - real families - they wouldn't be so mean. The humans and halfbloods don't have that problem either. Not much."

"I don't think it's our lack of familial relations that breeds our nature," Valyn pointed out. "I think it's the other way around. We're capable of forming attachments, but..." There was no room in their culture for close knit families.

"But no one does. Maybe if you did, they wouldn't all be so quick to turn on each other."

In Shana's mind, it made perfect sense. Although even she had to admit that there were always some who would cause trouble, no matter what their surroundings; namely people like her foster sister. Shana didn't miss her at all.

"Some of us do," he replied, gently. "We can. But you have to understand our culture. And our inherent nature. When we came to this world - our world, rather - we were power hungry and greedy and selfish. It's how my kind has always been. We've always been quick to turn on one another, Shana. And humans are the same way. They're just as ruthless and willing to cut one another's throat for their own advancement, family attachments or not."

"Yes, but not all. I'm not even sure all elves are like that, either, although they probably have it trained out of them long before they reach adulthood," Shana countered logically. Her argument was interrupted by a jaw-popping yawn, but his comments didn't change her mind. She didn't believe any group of people could be wholly bad or wholly good. All of them had a mix of the both; she'd spent enough time in each of their worlds to know.

"Every lord I've met has been like that." He didn't know all of them, but he'd spent time with enough. When Shana yawned, Valyn reached up and brushed a bit of her hair off her forehead.

"Tired?"

"A little," she replied, thinking how nice that felt. She wondered if he was only doing this because she was hurt? Valyn didn't normally go out of his way to touch her. Especially considering he'd just told her no. "Tired, but not sleepy. It was... a long day."

"I'm afraid all the days are long, here. And the nights." Ancestors, he wanted to go home. This place was horrific. Worse, now that the people he loved had been brought as well.

"I wonder what's taking Shadow so long...."

"Maybe he got lost," she mused, then remembered he'd only gone next door. "Maybe he's helping at the clinic?"

"Maybe." It was only next door, after all. It wasn't as though anything horrible could have happened between the two rooms. They would have heard something. Wouldn't they have?

And if something had happened to Keman, Shadow would have come and told them immediately.

"Shana... may I ask you a question?"

Shana blinked at him, surprised at the abrupt switch. "Alright?"

He decided he may as well make use of her drugged state. And it was something he wanted to know.

"Why do you... like me?" That was probably the safest way to phrase it. But he was curious, and it wasn't as though he'd have many opportunities to ask without making her angry.

"What do you mean, why?" Shana stared at him, looking bewildered, caught off guard by his question. "I just... you're Valyn," she finished, knowing that probably explained little to him, but made a world of sense to her.

"I make you angry more often than not," Valyn pointed out. "You can barely stand to speak with me most of the time. We bicker and fight and bait one another... And I know I'm self-centered, pedantic and patronizing. I suppose I just don't understand what appeals to you in the first place."

"I don't kmow," she answered, frowning at his words. "And you're right. You do. You also forgot stubborn. That's usually what does it. But... but that doesn't really matter much. I mean... when it first started, it was just a feeling. The first night we met, you smiled at me. Really smiled. And it hit me just like that. I'd never felt like that before, but I wanted to make you look at me and smile at me more.

"It maybe started out as just attraction, but that's not all it was. I mean, it wasn't as if the Citadel was lacking in males pretty to look at, but none of them had ever made me feel like that before. You made me feel... different. It was so frustrating at first, because you made me feel nervous and backwards and awkward. You'd make me feel hot and cold at the same time. I hated it, but I loved it too.

"And since then..." she trailed off, looking thoughtful, oblivious to the fact that she was babbling out thoughts that would normally never escape her lips. "I got to know you. Yes, you are aggravating beyond all, but you're also loyal and protective and not nearly as much of a bastard as you often seem to be. When I'm not too furious at you to see it, anyway."

Valyn frowned. To him, it did sound like just an attraction. More physical than anything else. But he supposed these weren't matters he knew all that much about. Maybe her feelings were genuine. Maybe she truly did love him. Or maybe she was just a young girl who couldn't tell the difference between infatuation and genuine emotion.

He didn't know.

"I see." He didn't know how to reply.

She narrowed her gaze at him at those two simple words. "What do you see?" she asked suspiciously.

"Your explanation." What had he said? His response had been completely neutral! He'd given no personal impressions one way or another. What had he done to upset her now?

"I almost didn't think you'd answer."

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