Day 27: Lunch

[norainu]

Renji wasn't so certain what this grilled cheese thing was all about, but he liked the sound of some soup. Even if it was strange western soup, well... there wasn't anything bad people could do to soup, in his experience. His good mood was starting to fray at the edges, a little, from the strain of dealing with the Ichimaru issue, and even more from what had been on the bulletin board earlier.

He'd never had difficulty simply writing something before. But...

He shook his head as he entered the line. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to hold on to the tenuous equilibrium he'd managed to find.

Renji got himself a large bowl of soup, water, and even one of those sandwiches, just to try it. Old habit, recently awakened, had him over to one side of the cafeteria, where the fewest people possible would have the chance to pass behind him. He sat there with his back toward the wall and started eating.

Comments

[rabastlestrange.livejournal.com]

"It didn't start that way."

Most tended to take Rabastan's child-like views and ways and mistakenly think he was stupid or childish. Granted, his clear moments were often, but he did have them. Crumbling the napkin in his hand, he sighed. Still he didn't look up Harry, just stared morosely down at his hands.

"The world was different then. There was a grace and gentle beauty to it, a gentility if you will. Then it all began to fade when the more social groups began pushing harder to let the Mu... those who were not pureblooded in to places that society had always dictated belonged to only a few. It doesn't sound right to you, I know. I doubt it ever will, but it was like the sun going out, a Götterdämmerung. Things that had once been splendid and beautiful were being reproduced except they were cheap immitations with gilt paint if you can understand that idea.

"What we saw was our way of life, our society dying and being replaced with one that held no place for us. Instead of our pureblooded ladies being nodded to and greeted on the street, they were occasionally pushed off sidewalks or disrespected, things no gentleman would have ever allowed to happen in his presence. We began to lose power and positions that our families had held since the beginning of wizarding society."

Bast shook his head, gaze lifting to the ceiling.

"We did what we were told by a leader what was best, what would save us and our society. What would save the world as we knew it. It was pointed out who was the enemy, anger whipped up into a righteous fury, and we let loose. We had our Cause, and we were protecting our homes, families, children, wives, sisters, or what have you."

Bast wiped his drying eyes again, eyes dropping back to his lap.

"I don't expect you to understand, Harry. I don't. Just remember how many young people you had willing to join your cause, wanting to fight to save your way of life, those you loved, and everything you held precious. To try to stop your Götterdämmerung. Seeing one side of a thing is never a good idea. I did like Sirius though. Hard not to really. He just had a way. He wasn't really ever cruel to me either. To Dolph, yes, but he gave me a piece of candy once when his mother made he and Regulus come over to play."

His fingers plucked at the edges of his napkin, fraying them.

"You lose your parents and godfather. We lost Severus. I suppose everyone I knew is dead, yes? I can't imagine they would hold off on executions for a second war."

[undesirableone.livejournal.com]

"All of that doesn't excuse killing and torturing innocent people. I don't care what your reasons were, there's no excuse for what you've done." Harry glared at Bast, folding his arms again. He didn't hate the man so much, but he did feel a lot of anger at the idea that any cause was enough of a reason for parents to be separated from their kids. He hadn't even allowed Remus to do that for his cause. "There could have been another way for the society you held so dear to be preserved. You could have worked with the Muggle-borns but instead you started killing them."

At least Rastaban had stopped himself from saying "Mudblood", Harry could at least give him credit for that.

"And ..." Harry paused, picking his next words carefully. "We lost Severus." It was the first time he had called Snape by his first name, but it was also just to match Bast's words. He knew that exposing Snape would have been dangerous in any other time and place, but here and after the man's death. "One of the last things Voldemort learned was that Snape hadn't really belonged to him at all."

[rabastlestrange.livejournal.com]

"They never proved I did any of that. I was guilty by association. A lot of people were put in Azkaban just like me. All they needed was someone to accuse them or be related to the wrong person. Those trials were that way. All you had to have was an accused that said anyone was a Death Eater, and there you were the next minute, right in Azkaban."

Bast didn't seem much bothered by the glare, still not meeting Harry's eyes or even looking towards him. The napkin he was methodically destroying by tearing it into tiny bits now that his tears had stopped looked to have all his attention. Bast twitched when Harry called the Dark Lord by name, a reaction that was universal in the wizarding world when that single word was spoken.

"I always did wonder why the Dark Lord believed Severus was his. Severus never gave in to anyone, bent to anyone's will. Oh, he'd act like it occasionally to get ahead, at least in my opinion, but he never had that near religious zealousness like Bella did or that hunger for more like Lucky or Dolph. There wasn't anything the Dark Lord could give him really that Severus didn't already have except for a title."

Bast shrugged. That would always continue to puzzle him, then again, by his own admission he hadn't known Severus that well.

[undesirableone.livejournal.com]

Harry didn't want to talk about Snape anymore, but his mind was already resting on the memories he had seen the night before. He thought about the one thing that Snape had wanted and could never have, the one person that he had lost and that Voldemort had killed. Harry frowned.

There were other memories that he had seen during his fourth year, and Harry thought to bring it up now, since Lestrange was talking about it.

"I saw your trial," he said after a moment. "In Dumbledore's Pensieve." He thought back to what he had seen in Dumbledore's memory. At the time he had been too shocked by learning what had happened to Neville's parents and the way that Crouch had coldly sentenced his own son, then his focus had been on Crouch's son the one who had put his name in the Gobley, then on Bellatrix the one who had murdered Sirius. He had always paid the Lestrange brothers very little attention when he tried to remember the scene.

Rabastan had been thin and nervous looking, his eyes had darted around the room. Looking at him now Harry could see traces of the man that he had once been, the same way he had been able to see the youthful handsome face of Sirius in pictures in Sirius the man who had escaped the dementors by clinging to his innocence and turning into a dog.

[rabastlestrange.livejournal.com]

Bast shook his head and smiled with an edge of shyness, raking a hand through hair that hung down to his midback now instead of neatly trimmed as it had been then. Instead of its former shade, the strands were terror white now, most likely a side-effect from being in Azkaban. Dementors for fourteen years was enough to turn anyone's hair that colour.

"I don't remember much of it really, just that it was a surprise. Aurors have bad tempers."

His eyes finally did meet Harry's then, tears dried up and gone. The cloudiness was there again unfortunately, whatever intelligence there had been swept back under the madness of the man's strange mind. Had Sirius stayed a few more years, would he have ended up the same?

"You need to be careful tonight, Harry Potter. I haven't seen the monsters, but everyone else has. Maybe they don't like to try to eat me or I'm too small. If no one else will, I can show you some of Landel's during the nighttime. I'm in room M41. Everyone I know is gone, so I should be there if you get lost or ... something."

[undesirableone.livejournal.com]

Harry's eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

"I don't need help from a Death Eater," he said. Despite everything that the blond was saying, there still remained the fact that this man had followed Voldemort had even believed what he taught, at least enough to help in the torture of two very good people.

It would be like betraying Neville, who had been a true friend to Harry, to work with Rastaban that way.