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damned_institute2011-12-18 02:24 pm
ninelivesonce) wrote in damned_institute2011-12-18 02:24 pm
Nightshift 60: F01-F10 Hallway
Taura felt like herself again. Her skin fit over her bones, and while her shoulder had fresh bandages and wounds that still reached into muscle and restricted motion, it was hers.
Which was kind of unnerving if she thought about it too much. This body might have belonged to a young woman who hadn't asked to be replaced -- or it might not have, and Katherine Jackson might have been entirely a flight of fancy, but either way, it wasn't her body.
Maybe tonight they'd find out more. She'd hoped Okita still had Homura's key; now she knew he did, and she wanted to get a better look at that room.
Which meant there was no time to waste. She was packed by the time the intercom switched on, and out the door as soon as it opened.
[to here]
Which was kind of unnerving if she thought about it too much. This body might have belonged to a young woman who hadn't asked to be replaced -- or it might not have, and Katherine Jackson might have been entirely a flight of fancy, but either way, it wasn't her body.
Maybe tonight they'd find out more. She'd hoped Okita still had Homura's key; now she knew he did, and she wanted to get a better look at that room.
Which meant there was no time to waste. She was packed by the time the intercom switched on, and out the door as soon as it opened.
[to here]
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She'd thought Landel's voice couldn't get any more irritating than it had been. Absence hadn't exactly made the heart grow fonder. Those stupid, pompous announcements--did people really prefer life under his rule to Aguilar? She could hardly believe it.
But there were snippets of information buried amidst the gloating, and on an impulse, she pulled out her unused journal and jotted down a few notes for later. So Landel hadn't known about the attack last night until it had happened, from the sounds of it--proof that Thayer and Prescott had been telling the truth when they'd denied involvement with him. And Aguilar had asked him to return.
That just opened up another can of worms, didn't it? Soma scowled and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. There were too many problems here, too many things that didn't quite line up. She'd have to discuss it with someone; she thought better that way.
Besides, there wasn't any point in wasting time now. The broken ring went on her finger, the katana and handgun went into the makeshift belt around her waist, and Senna's hair ribbon went on the end of her braid. Then, with a small nod and a smile to Leanne, she was out the door and down the hall.
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At least she had time to set her thoughts in order and accept the simple fact: this was not her world. She had denied the possibility when Guy first told her, but the more she saw and the more she spoke to others the more clear it became.
That was that, then. She could forge a life in this world as well as she could in the one she'd been born to. And if this place could alter people, take them and keep them and make them different, then this place could complete the process it had begun. It could make her human.
Or someone else here could.
If that was still the only thing left to her, so be it. Lust had given up on tears after her master had re-captured her. There was nothing back in Amestris for her, not really. Scar was dead, she was a traitor, and her goal would never be realized. She would simply work towards it here. Find companions, gather knowledge...she knew how to play this game.
What surprised her, however, was discovering her own familiar clothing in the closet following dinner. She had wanted the military coat, but found her dress hanging from a hanger. Her boots rested beneath.
No, she thought to herself as she slipped out of the grey uniform and into her familiar garments. Nothing's really changed at all.
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The thing was, Ramona wouldn't be surprised if such a thing could actually happen in her life. She just wished it happened to Sneaky Dee's before they went there for the billionth time just so Scott and his friends could scribble on the bathroom walls. Again. Would that dive have been such a terrible sacrifice for the greater good and an interesting anecdote?
Then again, she could say the same about this place.
Ramona sighed as she rolled herself out of bed. Mr. Booming Voice Over the Intercom had one thing right about the turkey, but she dragged herself toward her things to check them out. She could do the small talk chat with her roommate, and even considered it, but she saw a familiar set of clothing in her closet. At least this wouldn't give her potential set backs, only she realized she wouldn't get a new set every night. (That was a set back. But one she figured she'd have to deal with.)
Without hesitating, she dragged on her clothes, grabbed her flashlight and baseball bat, and headed out.
[to here]
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The problem was that she, too, was one of the ones in the dark about the finer aspects of last night’s little revolt.
She didn’t hate Landel for his sadism and his disdain. But she did hate him for what he’d turned her into (after she’d gotten what she’d wanted, her life back, followed by the death she deserved), which was a puppet, salivating at every hint he dropped regarding her reason for being here. She could forgive him and his fellows a lot, could even understand them if given the chance, but not for keeping her in this limbo. It was a test of her restraint not to break free from the pattern she had set herself in, if not the maze itself. To screw the human façade once and for all, and let the dying ember in her finally go out.
Not tonight, though. No, tonight she was on yet another mission for the History Club. But given the parameters, there was a plus side to acting like the good girl: finding out more about whatever they were doing on the second floor, something she didn’t know much about.
It was worth her time to give the assignment a shot, wasn’t it?
[to here (http://damned.livejournal.com/1211624.html?thread=81792232#t81792232)]
[F10]
The first room was unoccupied and looked to be unused as well. Lucky, or perhaps unlucky for her. Nevertheless there was no going back now.
Aigis turned to the vampire and took the smallest of breathes to calm herself. "I am prepared to give you my partial solution to your hunger issue. It is still not the solution I was hoping to give, but it was the only one that I have been able to accomplish so far."
She steeled herself. This would be easier to say then to actually go through with but Aigis had little choice. "Please, I beg you to drink from me tonight. Do not go after another."
Re: [F10]
His eyes narrowed, unhappy when she turned and pinpointed his position in the dark enough to address him. He could hear her, of course, but that didn’t mean he was delighted to accede to her request. Ironic, though, that she was asking for privacy with a creature that, as it seemed, made her…
… nervous?
Aidou stopped in the doorway to F10 a couple of seconds behind the girl. The smell of the prisoners’ leftover dinner still permeated the air, and he appraised the cell before finally bringing his gaze to rest on Aigis. What was the solution she had been hoping to give?
“Listen, you--” But then she blurted out her suggestion, drowning him out, and for a moment Aidou forgot that he was supposed to be angry. When one connected the dots, her ‘solution’ wasn’t so surprising, but really? He wouldn’t have expected that to be anyone’s first response, and it was just as discomfiting now as it had been when he’d realized what Cross Yuki had been doing to sustain Kiryu.
Giving her blood for free. Giving it to a thing that wore the face of her childhood companion but who scared her all the same. Yes, he knew their situation well, and the similarities with this situation were too many to be comfortable.
“You--What nonsense are you talking about?”
Re: [F10]
"... I am suggesting you drink from me, to protect any others here." Did he not understand yet that what she had said before was true? That she truely considered herself a protector of mankind no matter what the setting and that protecting them from him, even if he was not her enemy here, was just as important as doing what she could to protect them from Landel. Her desire was honest and not one hundred percent as selfless as it might seem on the surface.
Rei had returned to the institute today. She had 'woken up' from whatever hideous experiment the institute had been using on her for the past several days and Aigis did not want her first experience back her to be another run in with the hungry, blood-drinking youth. Her friend did not need to experience that trauma again so soon after her return.
Perhaps he simply doubted her willingness to experience the bite again. It was very disturbing the last time, but Aigis would always seek out her own destruction before allowing her friends that pain. She took a step closer to him, almost daring. "I am waiting."
Re: [F10]
“You don’t have the slightest clue what you’re saying.”
Sasuke was not fundamentally opposed to donating his blood, that much was clear. But the one time Aidou had seriously needed it for himself had been due to dire straits, not because he was relying on Sasuke to keep him fed. He wasn’t relying on any one person to keep him fed! He was not… he was not like the ex-humans. Like Kiryu, or Alucard, or Kyon. His repulsion was instinctive, because Aigis’ suggestion put him in league with them, and that…
No. He could be a lot of things, but not that.
She moved toward him and Aidou’s first thought was to step away from her, but he bottled that urge and held his ground. Her “solution” was so absurd given all that he had done to ensure his livelihood up until now that he didn’t immediately know how to combat it logically. He didn’t need anyone to pity him.
“I refuse!” the noble shot back, crossing his arms across his chest.
Re: [F10]
"You leave me no choice, then," Aigis said wearily, bringing the Evoker out of her pocket and raising it to her temple. She didn't pull the trigger immediately. She would only summon Athena if this one last plea didn't work, but if necessary she would take that action.
"Either you will voluntarily drink and be satisfied for another few days, or else I will force your hand in the matter." Athena's might could be very convincing to those who did not possess such skills. She was loathe to use violence against another patient, even a dangerous one like Aidou who was only doing what he must to survive, but his attitude called for it. "I am not 'kidding you' if that is what you are thinking. I will do what I must to protect the rest of the institute's population. My own health is not of any consequence."
Re: [F10]
Last night it had been so much easier to call up his powers, and although he didn’t want to expend the energy doing so with the suppression back in place, he would. If only to soothe his temper.
“You should take this lesson in vampire diplomacy: coercion is never a good tactic.” He didn’t shift his stance, but he was ready to move when he had to, whether or not that entailed violence on his part. She certainly seemed to believe that whatever she had up her sleeve would be enough to contain him; the simplest thing to do was just assume that she was prepared to kill him and proceed with a willingness to do the same. When it came to problematic obstacles, that was the easiest way of permanently removing them. “You’ve got the wrong idea, besides. One doesn’t need to convince a horse to drink when it’s thirsty. But your solution has some very serious holes. For one, you really have no idea the effects my bite might have over a span of time. Why, it might kill you, among other things. And then who would protect your precious prisoners then? Assuming it doesn’t have any regrettable consequences, you’re still letting a dangerous entity close. What makes you think you’ll walk away with your health intact? The blood loss alone could render you useless.”
Re: [F10]
He seemed to think he would get to her by mentioning the possibility of her death or uselessness. Of course there was the possibility she would not be at the top of her game after losing blood, but she didn't care. She would still be saving someone else. Why did he not understand?
She was tired of this. Tired of this game of words with no action. She held the Evoker more firmly against her temple, her finger coming to rest on the trigger. "Aidou-san. I do not care if it does kill me. Even if I have a mortal body here, I am still just an android. I have no family but I have friends. For their sake I can do this." She took another deep breath, enunciating her next words very clearly. "I am expendable."
What more could she do? What more could she say? Nothing. There was no more to negotiate on. "You have a choice to make, Aidou-san. You are the only one standing between yourself and a free meal." The words that came out of her mouth were cold and controlled. Robotic. The most robotic she had sounded since Minato had disappeared. "Strike now, or I will do so myself."
Re: [F10]
The noble had no satisfactory answers to her questions, because frankly, there were none to give. Her “tactics” didn’t deserve a response from him for how insulting they were. So her solution was to press him into a confrontation? It was ludicrous. How low did she expect him to sink? Him, of all people? The thought made him sick, and the disgust in his demeanour couldn’t have been more obvious.
A fool’s martyrdom, that was all this was.
“Shut your mouth, you stupid girl. Don’t shame you or I any more than you already have. You want to die so badly? Go throw yourself in some other creature’s path. But don’t you dare pretend you’re doing it for your friends’ sake--it speaks only of your own selfishness. If you died tonight, it would only hurt them. You might stop me from feeding from someone, but tomorrow those you protect are vulnerable again. And the next day, and the next day, and all the months after that. The night I’m hungry again, what then? Or the night a worse vampire comes along who kills every one of his victims? Or the night Landel decides to make the morgue a permanent home? There’ll be nothing you can do when they actually need you because you’ll be dead. When they fall because you let yourself fall first, that’s your failure.”
Someone who couldn’t even see that didn’t deserve to call themselves a protector of anything. They certainly didn’t deserve to taint his name with such misplaced righteousness.
"If you think you're going to absolve yourself of responsibility by provoking me, think again. I have far more integrity than what would allow that."
Re: [F10]
She took a ragged breath. Swallowing back a thickness in her throat, she spoke again in that quiet voice. "I can only do what I know I can do. I can offer blood. And I can do this..." She raised the Evoker in her hand to her chest, cradling it with her other hand.
She took another breath, the breathed out a shaky, wet sob. She hadn't even realized when she had started crying, but the tears in her eyes now were obvious. Gritting her teeth, she tried to fight back against the burning sensation behind her eyes. "I do not understand! Why is this happening?"
She couldn't answer the rest of his questions. Distracted by her own tears, she wiped away at her eyes as she sobbed. Tears were supposed to be a sign of sadness but this was not sadness she was feeling. It was unusual and annoying. Frustration was the emotion she felt right now, along with a good helping of confusion and stress.
What did he want her to do? How could she make this work? She didn't even know anymore.
Re: [F10]
They were better, and that made all vampires selfish on some level. It was why the sharpness in his gaze didn’t soften when she started to break. She was like a baby just learning its first steps, and he had given her hard lessons, but the flicker of pity he felt was miniscule in comparison to the chunk of ice encompassing his chest, sealing away his heart.
At an ideal time when he wasn’t a prisoner in a deranged mental hospital, Aidou might have been less content to throw himself on the mercy of his own detachment. But not that night. It was an advantage to be more cruel than kind. To remember that his honor and his freedom were the only things that truly mattered.
But it was honor that was at question here, wasn’t it.
The mindless beast fought, killed, and took its meals where it could--what she had expected from him from the very beginning. Aidou could hurt the girl if he had to, but not rashly. Not because he was less than she or her human companions were. Proving otherwise was the only reason he paused before bothering to address her again, giving both of their thoughts time to settle.
“I don’t care if you’re incorruptible or not, if you’re scared or courageous. But I hate people who can’t understand themselves. And I hate people who try to put blood on my hands that doesn’t belong,” he said. “Listen, you’re not “offering” me, you’re commanding me, and I’m no animal for you to demean with your insinuations. You won’t lower me to the level of something that jumps at blood just because you present it. If I have to depend on one warm body I’m--” like him, like Kiryu, “--no better than a kept pet. I’ve sustained myself the way I have because that is not what I am. I can choose. That’s what I can do. If you don’t understand anything else, understand that.”
Re: [F10]
She looked up when he started talking again. The tears were still making their way down her cheeks but she had stopped sobbing, they were only silent tears. She sniffed once and then, perhaps for the first time, really listened to what Aidou had to say. She still felt she misunderstood much of what he might be trying to get across, but she was starting to realize one very important thing. She had been treating him like a creature fully inhuman. In a sense, he still was, but that did not mean that he didn't have feelings and emotions all his own. The culture was different but the reasoning was there, and that meant that she had to approach this differently.
She had approached him like a non-human before. Now she had to approach him like a human, but one who she could not make snap judgments about. She took a deep breath, but her voice remained hoarse if controlled. "I... believe I am finally beginning to understand, Aidou-san. Forgive me for my previous insensitivity."
She bowed at the waist to augment her apology. When she straightened up she gazed at him with the same sincerity she generally held, but perhaps this time there was a bit more of a light of understanding in her eyes. Even Koromaru she had treated like a comrade back home. He hadn't been a pet, so how could she treat Aidou as such?
"I understand this was foolhardy and dangerous, but I would like to ask you one more time if you could please at least consider drinking from me tonight." She raised a hand to delay him from sneering at her request too quickly, her eyes begging a further moment of indulgence. "I am not asking this to keep you here as a pet, but I would ask that you at least leave off hunting tonight and just take what I have to offer this time around. I... will not interfere afterwards, I promise this. I still wish I could have found a way to sustain you and leave the other patients with their blood intact but I have obviously not thought this through enough."
She nodded her head, another small apology. "I really should have not demanded to come up with a solution myself. I should have... asked you your opinion on the matter."
Aigis took another breath, then put the Evoker in her pocket and placed a free hand against her chest earnestly. "I still have confidence I will not die tonight, even if I were to lose more blood than I should. I would like to show you why I have such confidence after, if you would permit, Aidou-san."
Re: [F10]
If there was ever a time that language failed to fully reflect the grave nature of reality, it was now. Tears were, in their own way, more telling than words.
As she bowed, Aidou released a breath and reminded himself that displacing the wealth of his anger onto her was just as much a mistake as trying to force him to betray his own character. It was doubtful that she fully understood him--how could she?--but she had backed down, and that was enough for him to do the same. No more, he told himself. A battle of perspectives won’t do anyone good. There was still a lingering sting, though, and it kept a frown on his lips.
“Not to mention offensive to all aristocrats,” he said when she raised the issue of how foolhardy her suggestion was. But unsurprisingly, she wasn’t about to let it go. He shifted in the door frame, still uncomfortable with the notion of taking blood that was acquiesced so clinically. More so with the wetness on Aigis’ cheeks. It wasn’t like he enjoyed menacing females and making them shed tears. Doing so and then proceeding to burden that same person with his hunger opened the gates to guilt, guilt that he had wanted to avoid.
And when she abandoned her arguments and surrendered to his wishes, it was enough to make him want to squirm. Having her fight him every step and grant him a clear conscience when he fought back was almost easier than… this kind of victory. Having respect for him as a vampire was one thing, but it was another to let one abuse other people when she was clearly still afraid for the prisoners’ well-being.
The noble released another breath, looking away for a moment. “You should know… that I understand your intentions. I see what you want and if there was a way to keep what I am separate from the populace, I would. I don’t choose hunting because I like it. I have no interest in harming others. But what you‘re asking comes with its own problems.” Things were infinitely easier when he had only himself to answer to. Admitting his fears and his regrets was like admitting weaknesses. Finally, he flashed her a glance, the discomfort of the situation muddying his thoughts. “Just stop crying. I can’t look at you when you’re like that.” Stepping closer he pulled out the pocket square he kept folded in the inside pocket of his blazer and held it out to her. “As little as you understand my kind, your sacrifice hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
With that, he really had no choice but to let the sting from her slander go.
Re: [F10]
She studied him a moment, noticing the way he held himself rather rigidly and shifted every now and then. It was different and Aigis wasn't sure how to interpret his movements. Was he still weighing his own feelings on the whole affair? Or was there something else going on in his head? He turned away and that really perplexed her. Protocol typically called for serious matters to be discussed with full eye contact. She listened closely and was surprised by what she heard.
She shouldn't have been surprised, she realized after a moment. He was basically stating that he did have a conscience, too. She had to have been blind to have ignored that for so long. It surely must have been difficult for him these past several weeks, spreading himself thin so he wouldn't have to hurt too many while also justifying his meals so he didn't think too hard about the person he had to hurt to survive. If anything, the thought caused more silent tears to wend their way down her face.
She didn't know what to say. His offer of a handkerchief was unexpected but she took it and began to mechanically dab at her eyes in what she hoped was the expected way. "Thank you." Her voice still sounded hoarse, but with their close proximity he probably could hear her. She repeated her thanks again, this time to show her appreciation that went beyond receiving the handkerchief. "Thank you, Aidou-san."
She didn't know where things were supposed to move from here. It seemed like such a rare moment, one where she couldn't be 100 percent objective without seeming pushy again. So, instead, she took another breath to steady herself and finished wiping at her eyes, choosing a slightly less painful topic to soften the mood. "I do apologize for my tears. They started on their own though I was not feeling 'sad.' I am not sure why they began at all..."
Was she rambling now? Aigis didn't ramble, but her words were not furthering their objectives at all. It was obvious that now that they had come to an agreement following through was a lot harder than just talking about it had been.
Re: [F10]
Although they had retreated from the precipice of violence, he still felt a substantial amount of uncertainty over what had brought them to this point to begin with. Blood was at the heart of everything. But the truth remained: he didn’t want to take blood from her even though he needed it. Rationally, if she was indeed willing to leave the matter be, feeding from her this one time was better than wasting more time finding someone else after they parted. But something in him continued to resist the idea.
She was not someone he wanted to make a habit of biting, and she was emotionally fragile now, whether or not she comprehended it herself. Preying on the weak was, by itself, a reprehensible concept…
“You don’t have to apologize for that. You’re… emotional.”
The Institute had that effect on people, himself included. Could anyone really stay detached in the face of this nightmare? Even Aigis, who claimed to be more machine than person, couldn’t escape the grey moral landscape they were imprisoned in. Black and white was simple, but like most things, Landel had taken it away. What was left was this… permanent discomfort. For Aidou, here and now, it was navigating the boundaries between vampire and other that bogged him down. For her, it was the fear of failing her friends that bothered her. And doing what she could, whatever that meant in the Institute’s terms.
“Don’t spend time worrying you haven’t found a solution, either. Landel’s made sure there isn’t one. That’s just how it is. But… do you actually mean you won’t stop me obtaining blood when I have to?”
Hunting was an accurate term for it. However, being a kept pet was also an accurate term for what the alternative would be: him sticking to one person for the foreseeable future. Who exactly would be the “pet” in that scenario was up for debate, though. At any rate, it was an attachment Aidou wanted to avoid if possible.
Re: [F10]
"Emotions are strange things. I am still unused to them." She finished blotting away her tears and held the kerchief out to return it to Aidou. She bowed her head again. "I thank you, Aidou-san."
The biggest issue was that she still felt compelled to find an issue, an answer, that would not only keep the patient body safe from the blood-letting but also relieve Aidou from having to stoop to attacking his fellow patients. An empty fist tightened at her side and frustration showed in the furrowing of her brow. "I... no. I will not stop you anymore."
It was almost physically painful to admit, but Aidou was right. Landel was always the one to blame in these matters and he had made it impossible to find a proper solution. He could never be forgiven. Even so, Aigis couldn't help herself. "I want to think of something..." But to what end? Could there possibly be a way to satisfy both of their objectives efficiently?
Re: [F10]
If only all the prisoners could be that way.
“To have no emotions at all is almost enviable,” he said dully, taking the cloth back from her and stuffing it back into his pocket. If neither of them cared, they wouldn’t be here, now would they? Her face wouldn’t be streaked with tears and he wouldn’t have a monstrous headache. “I can’t tell you they’ll get any easier. Just remember they’re rarely rooted in rationale for next time, okay?” he added. “I don’t want to have to divert you from suicide.”
But whatever her internal conflicts, where Aidou was concerned, she had relented. That was a plus. Having someone else embroiled in his problems was not ideal--it felt awfully conspiratorial--but he should have been happy she wasn’t set on throwing herself in his way, right? Objectively speaking, it was an obstacle out of his way, and one he hadn’t had to kill to remove.
Aigis saw things differently, though. Her surrender hadn’t changed that.
“You want to think of something, but there are no easy fixes,” he said, concluding her sentence. “I’ll be honest: taking your blood wouldn’t hurt you aside from the blood loss, and I know better than to take too much. I was just testing you before. But although that sounds like an excellent plan, you’re clearly underestimating what it’d be like to be a vampire’s long-term sustenance. Unless it’s a mutual attraction, you’re just asking for trouble. Blood and emotion go hand-in-hand, and you can already see the problems emotions raise.”
F2
This was the thought that ran through Rainbow Dash's head as "Doc Landel" carried his evening announcement past lights out and did a complete personality 180. In place of the sickly cheerful man from earlier, there now was an over the top evil mastermind — sounded exactly like who Rainbow was looking for. Maybe he sounded more easily angered than Discord, but who knew? That could still be part of the cover. Or however it was this all worked... Whatever was going on, she refused to believe it wasn't Discord, anyway. There was just no way he couldn't be involved, even with all the stuff that nagged at her to think otherwise. No way in the universe.
By this point, Rainbow had gotten the hang of basic walking. It wasn't all that different from walking as a pony when she got down to it. The balance was just a little different was all. She just had to stop thinking of it like rearing up on her hind legs and instead... like having an invisible pair of back legs that kept her stable...? Okay it wasn't a perfect way to think of it, but Rainbow wasn't questioning whatever helped her keep her balance.
Aside from that, there had been an interesting discovery in her closet: a set of human clothes patterned after her. There had been pants and a sleeveless shirt sitting there — both the colour of her coat, and the shirt even had her cutie mark on the front (and speaking of cutie marks, Rainbow had been relieved to peek down her sweatpants and see the familiar marks still on each flank). She really didn't know what to make of that. Still, as weird as it felt to have to dress up to look more like herself, the blue outfit did sit better with her than the stupid grey happiness ensemble, and so off the Institute clothes had come.
Other than that, all Rainbow had discovered on her side of the room had been a light on a stick (super convenient). With the doors unlocking, she balled her hand tight around the stick end and formed her free hand into a fist. "All right, let's do this. You can make it out of here, Rainbow Dash. Nothing's stopping you!" she told herself with a determined grin (doing her best to hold back the uncertainty churning in the pit of her stomach). At the quickest walk she could manage without losing her balance, Rainbow made her way out into the hall.
[To here]
no subject
Without a backward glance, she snuck out the door and into the hall.
[here (http://damned.livejournal.com/1212519.html?thread=81849447#t81849447)]
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It was only that she needed to move. Needed to prove that she was useful, if only but in flimsy ways, walls of support paper thin that would break at a touch. Yes. She would move. And perhaps in doing so, she would be able to come to terms with her continued existence.