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damned_institute2011-12-18 02:24 pm
ninelivesonce) wrote in damned_institute2011-12-18 02:24 pm
Nightshift 60: F01-F10 Hallway
Taura felt like herself again. Her skin fit over her bones, and while her shoulder had fresh bandages and wounds that still reached into muscle and restricted motion, it was hers.
Which was kind of unnerving if she thought about it too much. This body might have belonged to a young woman who hadn't asked to be replaced -- or it might not have, and Katherine Jackson might have been entirely a flight of fancy, but either way, it wasn't her body.
Maybe tonight they'd find out more. She'd hoped Okita still had Homura's key; now she knew he did, and she wanted to get a better look at that room.
Which meant there was no time to waste. She was packed by the time the intercom switched on, and out the door as soon as it opened.
[to here]
Which was kind of unnerving if she thought about it too much. This body might have belonged to a young woman who hadn't asked to be replaced -- or it might not have, and Katherine Jackson might have been entirely a flight of fancy, but either way, it wasn't her body.
Maybe tonight they'd find out more. She'd hoped Okita still had Homura's key; now she knew he did, and she wanted to get a better look at that room.
Which meant there was no time to waste. She was packed by the time the intercom switched on, and out the door as soon as it opened.
[to here]
Re: [F10]
She studied him a moment, noticing the way he held himself rather rigidly and shifted every now and then. It was different and Aigis wasn't sure how to interpret his movements. Was he still weighing his own feelings on the whole affair? Or was there something else going on in his head? He turned away and that really perplexed her. Protocol typically called for serious matters to be discussed with full eye contact. She listened closely and was surprised by what she heard.
She shouldn't have been surprised, she realized after a moment. He was basically stating that he did have a conscience, too. She had to have been blind to have ignored that for so long. It surely must have been difficult for him these past several weeks, spreading himself thin so he wouldn't have to hurt too many while also justifying his meals so he didn't think too hard about the person he had to hurt to survive. If anything, the thought caused more silent tears to wend their way down her face.
She didn't know what to say. His offer of a handkerchief was unexpected but she took it and began to mechanically dab at her eyes in what she hoped was the expected way. "Thank you." Her voice still sounded hoarse, but with their close proximity he probably could hear her. She repeated her thanks again, this time to show her appreciation that went beyond receiving the handkerchief. "Thank you, Aidou-san."
She didn't know where things were supposed to move from here. It seemed like such a rare moment, one where she couldn't be 100 percent objective without seeming pushy again. So, instead, she took another breath to steady herself and finished wiping at her eyes, choosing a slightly less painful topic to soften the mood. "I do apologize for my tears. They started on their own though I was not feeling 'sad.' I am not sure why they began at all..."
Was she rambling now? Aigis didn't ramble, but her words were not furthering their objectives at all. It was obvious that now that they had come to an agreement following through was a lot harder than just talking about it had been.
Re: [F10]
Although they had retreated from the precipice of violence, he still felt a substantial amount of uncertainty over what had brought them to this point to begin with. Blood was at the heart of everything. But the truth remained: he didn’t want to take blood from her even though he needed it. Rationally, if she was indeed willing to leave the matter be, feeding from her this one time was better than wasting more time finding someone else after they parted. But something in him continued to resist the idea.
She was not someone he wanted to make a habit of biting, and she was emotionally fragile now, whether or not she comprehended it herself. Preying on the weak was, by itself, a reprehensible concept…
“You don’t have to apologize for that. You’re… emotional.”
The Institute had that effect on people, himself included. Could anyone really stay detached in the face of this nightmare? Even Aigis, who claimed to be more machine than person, couldn’t escape the grey moral landscape they were imprisoned in. Black and white was simple, but like most things, Landel had taken it away. What was left was this… permanent discomfort. For Aidou, here and now, it was navigating the boundaries between vampire and other that bogged him down. For her, it was the fear of failing her friends that bothered her. And doing what she could, whatever that meant in the Institute’s terms.
“Don’t spend time worrying you haven’t found a solution, either. Landel’s made sure there isn’t one. That’s just how it is. But… do you actually mean you won’t stop me obtaining blood when I have to?”
Hunting was an accurate term for it. However, being a kept pet was also an accurate term for what the alternative would be: him sticking to one person for the foreseeable future. Who exactly would be the “pet” in that scenario was up for debate, though. At any rate, it was an attachment Aidou wanted to avoid if possible.
Re: [F10]
"Emotions are strange things. I am still unused to them." She finished blotting away her tears and held the kerchief out to return it to Aidou. She bowed her head again. "I thank you, Aidou-san."
The biggest issue was that she still felt compelled to find an issue, an answer, that would not only keep the patient body safe from the blood-letting but also relieve Aidou from having to stoop to attacking his fellow patients. An empty fist tightened at her side and frustration showed in the furrowing of her brow. "I... no. I will not stop you anymore."
It was almost physically painful to admit, but Aidou was right. Landel was always the one to blame in these matters and he had made it impossible to find a proper solution. He could never be forgiven. Even so, Aigis couldn't help herself. "I want to think of something..." But to what end? Could there possibly be a way to satisfy both of their objectives efficiently?
Re: [F10]
If only all the prisoners could be that way.
“To have no emotions at all is almost enviable,” he said dully, taking the cloth back from her and stuffing it back into his pocket. If neither of them cared, they wouldn’t be here, now would they? Her face wouldn’t be streaked with tears and he wouldn’t have a monstrous headache. “I can’t tell you they’ll get any easier. Just remember they’re rarely rooted in rationale for next time, okay?” he added. “I don’t want to have to divert you from suicide.”
But whatever her internal conflicts, where Aidou was concerned, she had relented. That was a plus. Having someone else embroiled in his problems was not ideal--it felt awfully conspiratorial--but he should have been happy she wasn’t set on throwing herself in his way, right? Objectively speaking, it was an obstacle out of his way, and one he hadn’t had to kill to remove.
Aigis saw things differently, though. Her surrender hadn’t changed that.
“You want to think of something, but there are no easy fixes,” he said, concluding her sentence. “I’ll be honest: taking your blood wouldn’t hurt you aside from the blood loss, and I know better than to take too much. I was just testing you before. But although that sounds like an excellent plan, you’re clearly underestimating what it’d be like to be a vampire’s long-term sustenance. Unless it’s a mutual attraction, you’re just asking for trouble. Blood and emotion go hand-in-hand, and you can already see the problems emotions raise.”