damned_institute | Day 51: Breakfast

Entry tags:

Day 51: Breakfast

Yuffie Kisaragi, indomitable bouncing ball of sunshine and unfathomable ebullience, was tired. It'd been a long night full of gibberish and getting nowhere fast.

"Can't I—"

Plucky, who had been busily loading a plate full of French toast and bacon, tittered. "I'm afraid not, Hanna, darling. A chat over a nice, hearty breakfast would do you a world of good, don't you think?"

"Aaaaactually—"

"Come on, let's find you a seat. Plenty to choose from this morning!"

For a long moment, Yuffie seriously considered doing something—anything—to act out. Punch her nurse, rub jam in an orderly's face, climb a wall and hang off the ceiling, jump on a table and parody Loveless… A ruckus like that would definitely jolt her back into gear, right? Sedation aside. And it'd turn Plucky's good day right on its head, which was always a bonus worth shooting for.

But, by the time she'd reached a decision—and it was an epic decision, a really awesome one; everybody'd appreciate the genius, she was sure—she was already alone. Her breakfast tray had been set down neatly by the nurse, who had left with an infuriatingly winsome smile.

"Wow," Yuffie muttered. Shaking her head, she picked a chair at random and threw herself into it. She kicked back, one arm slung across her eyes, to wait. For what, she wasn't totally sure. Some moron to decide that she looked like good company? That was how it usually went.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sora couldn't help wincing when Venom drew his head up. He looked like he was in a lot of pain, or maybe he was just exhausted. Sometimes it was pretty hard to get out of bed in the morning, especially if the night shift had been really tough. "You can keep your head down, you know," he said with a frown, making a lowering motion with his hand to get his point across. It wasn't like they wouldn't be able to have a conversation unless Venom was sitting up straight, after all, and Sora didn't want to be too much of a bother.

But regardless of what Venom said, Sora seriously doubted that it was nothing. People didn't sit with their heads down like that if there was nothing wrong. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it, but if that was the case then he should have just said so rather than once again telling him what to do.

The man even went so far as to take a jab at his choice of food. Looking slightly embarrassed, Sora glanced down at his tray with a confused look on his face. "What do you mean? It's good to eat a big breakfast in the morning to help you wake up!" That was what his mother had always told him, at least. Besides, it's not like he was necessarily going to finish it. Then again, his mom would have scolded him for being wasteful in that case, but the institute always seemed to have more than enough food for them. It never ran out.

He still wasn't sure if it was okay to sit down or not, but Venom hadn't told him to go away yet, and so Sora took the seat. The man could tell him to leave if he wanted him to, or so he figured. He refrained from eating for the moment, a little anxious after Venom's comment. "You sure do tell me what to do a lot, you know," he commented. That seemed to be a common thread in all of their conversations.

"I'm fine," he repeated, shaking his head. As much as he couldn't comprehend the boy's worry, there was still no need for it; it was only a fleshwound. He'd live through the pain and exhaustion, and he could handle it just fine by himself. As it were, it was better he remember his mistakes, whether they was painful or not. He'd be hard pressed to make it again.

He wanted to believe that. That the next time the asylum dangled that rope in front of him that he wouldn't run for it again and waste his valuable time. He had be more intelligent than that.

He rose an eyebrow at Sora's comment, tucking away the self-berating for a time it may have actually mattered. His fingers went to tap at the table's surface as he spoke, voice just barely striking that authoritative tone he could have made so easily the day before. "You're going to make yourself sick," he scolded. Not that it mattered to him. It wasn't his job to watch after Sora. But... "There's too much sugar in that," said with a small nod to the french toast on the others tray, "and who knows what else they put in there. If you do eat it, I suggest not to eat all of it."

He wasn't sure why he was telling Sora that. Any justifications he could consider at the moment were all unacceptable ones and an unacceptable justification was... unacceptable.

The next sentence out of the boy's mouth only made the man frown harder. The hand that had been tapping stilled all movement before he slid it off the table, then folded his arms over his chest. The wounds on his shoulders burned with the gesture. "Someone has to."

While Sora doubted that Venom was really fine, he knew better than to push it. After all, he could be the same way. Even when he was injured, he always tried to push through it and he never wanted people getting worried about him, so that was one thing he could understand. He didn't want to be a big hypocrite about it or anything.

When Venom suggested that the amount of food would make him sick to his stomach, Sora glanced down at the serving and considered. He was pretty sure he'd scarfed down more than this and been fine, but maybe Venom was underestimating his appetite. He was still growing, after all! (No way was he always going to be this short. That just wasn't an option.)

"I think most of the food here is pretty good quality," he pointed out, "but I wasn't gonna eat all of it. You can have my leftovers, okay?" After Venom had given him his food coupon in Doyleton the other day, Sora had started to wonder at whether or not the man was getting enough food in him. With that decision made, he happily started to eat, shoving a bite of the toast in his mouth with fervor.

The next thing the man said immediately made Sora want to argue back that he didn't need anyone to tell him what to do, but he knew that wasn't true. He'd taken advice from Riku plenty of times, and Donald had also lectured him countless times over their travels...

Donald. At the memory of his visitor from the day before, Sora slowed in his chewing and set down his fork, staring off for a moment. He still missed him. He needed to get him back to normal, as fast as he could.

It was a simple offer, really. One that might have gone unnoticed or shrugged off it it hadn't been the first bizarre act of kindness the teenager had offered to someone who plainly didn't deserve it. The very instant those words came out of Sora's mouth, Venom's mind began to join the list of limbs that had started aching with pain. Too kind...

Sora was too kind, and that wasn't meant as a compliment: he worried too much. He should think about himself, about his own health, before he got hurt thinking about someone else. He was still a teenager - weren't they supposed to be selfish?

Venom shook his head again at the suggestion, tentatively reaching for a fork-- ...that was odd. Nurse hadn't given him one-- reaching for a small strawberry to try and discourage the behavior. "I have food, Sora. I don't need yours." Solemnly, slowly, the assassin picked up the strawberry and placed it in his mouth. He could feel his stomach quivering with illness and his mouth grimacing in disgust as the piece of fruit sat there on his tongue before he tried in vain to chew the thing despite a massive headache and a non-existent appetite.

This shouldn't be so hard...

Once Sora's eyes were off him, the strawberry found its way into a napkin and hidden under the tray (he didn't need Sora worrying about him more). He'd eat something later - now wasn't the time. But waiting for the opportunity did allow him to notice something about the boy.

"Something happened." He didn't want to know what it was. It wasn't any of his business. "Are you hurt?"

It was true that Venom already had a plate of food in front of him, but was it enough? After all, Venom was a lot bigger than he was, so he'd clearly need more food to keep himself going. Though when Sora eyed the strawberry that the other patient was eating, he felt compelled to eat one off of his plate, too. The fruit was refreshing, even though he was more used to tropical kinds. He would have loved to get his hands on some pineapple right now...

"Well, if you're still hungry after that, just let me know," he said with a pointed smile as he cut himself another piece of the toast and then plopped it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, trying to savor the taste so that he wouldn't eat too fast. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, but with Venom watching he felt like he was under some sort of supervision.

But whoops, it looked like the man had noticed that something was bothering him. Sora wanted to just brush it off, but then he'd be just as bad as Venom! "Not hurt, no," he said with a sheepish smile and a shake of his head. "Not physically, anyway. Just remembering the visit I had yesterday."

Not that he was betting on Venom caring much about that. The man had already told him that he worried too much about his friends, but there wasn't much of anything that would stop Sora from doing that. Not even a really serious guy with an eye on his hair.

"You too...?" The words came out before he could stop himself, more pensive than concerned, but too calm to be dismissive. A friend of his? Someone else that he was so desperate to protect? A family member (for some reason, he never took to the time to picture anyone around him as having family. Maybe it made things easier that way)? Or was it someone he hated, someone they wanted to taunt him with by giving him the impression that they were free of this hell while he was not?

From the boy's condition, at least it looked like he hadn't lost his head and spent the entire night chasing ghosts.

...Ha.

Maybe that was why he never had the heart to push the boy away, no matter how much he wanted to: neither one of them knew when to stop playing hero, grow up, and face reality. He wished it wasn't the case. Foolish dreams could destroy a grown man. What chance had a fifteen year old boy?

"I'm sorry." It came off more distant than it should have been, but that was fine. The less Sora thought he cared, the better. Trying again, at least for the sake of saying nothing further, Venom again attempted the goal of eating something. It was a grape this time.

His face still blanched.

Edited 2010-08-07 16:47 (UTC)

Venom had also had a visitor? That was kind of hard to imagine, he had to admit. The guy tried so hard to seem tough and push people away, but maybe there were some people out there who he cared about after all. Sora was curious about who it was, but even he knew better than to ask. While he didn't mind talking about Donald, that probably wouldn't be the case with everyone. Besides, he'd already been through this with Ritsuka.

The apology, as terse as it was, took him by surprise. Venom hadn't had to say that, but it seemed like the man knew how hard it could be to see a friend who'd been fooled into living a fake life.

"Same to you," he said with a worried frown as he ate another piece of the toast. "But we just have to work toward fixing them, right? I don't know about you, but I'm not going to let my friend stay stuck thinking he's the wrong person." Donald hadn't needed a different life or anything. He'd been happy, even through all of the bad times that they'd had. So why had Landel done this to him?

But some people were just evil. They thrived in darkness and they did terrible things to people who didn't deserve it. Sora wasn't going to let him get away with it, if he had anything to say about it.

A single grape should not have been so hard to swallow, but somehow the simple act had turned into a test of will - his body was refusing to take in anything so early in the morning, so he would force it. From the feeling of his stomach revolting at the eventual victory, something told him even that was Pyrrhic.

Oh well.

Sora continued to speak, much to the assassin's chagrin. Although the apology sent back his way was again something he disapproved of, more worrying was the notion that he found himself agreeing with the boy: they were going to have to fix this. Berate himself as he did, that was something he refused to let go of.

Martin Landel was a very cocky man. He assumed he could taint the memories of those who meant most to them and nothing would come of it, at least not to him. He was wrong. For every look Master Zato gave her, for every inaccuracy out of his mouth, for every memory gone, and for every condescending smirk that witch sent his way as she gripped onto the man's hand like she had the right to, Venom was going to hurt him.

...A part of him didn't want to question Sora as much as the rest of him did - the more Sora stayed uninvolved with him, the better off the both of them were. He had no clue what use the boy was, how he managed to stay alive in his hell for so long despite his blinding optimism, or if his loyalty to his friends was capable of being a liability like it was in Edward. But as much as Sora's actions remained worrisome, he couldn't discount the boy's determination or seniority. He had to have known something.

Besides, if the Guild Head was capable of smiling, he might have done so; this was much different from the boy a week ago whose only goal was to escape.

He found himself leaning back into the chair, one leg crossing over the other despite the tug on the wound at his side. "How much do you know about 'Next-Wave'?"

Oh, he had managed to get a grape down! Sora smiled to himself at that, even though Venom was acting like it had been really sour or something. Most of the food here was delicious, so he got the feeling that the man was just being difficult. At least he was trying, though.

Sora, meanwhile, was having no trouble with his food. He was trying to eat slower than he usually would, but that also meant that the syrup was soaking into the toast and making it kind of soggy. Frowning, he moved on to eat some of his fruit instead. That was healthier, anyway, right? Just not as filling.

When Venom leaned back in his seat, Sora hoped that was a sign that he was feeling a little better. He looked slightly more comfortable, at least! But he had another question for him, and Sora already knew that he didn't have a good answer.

"That... computer system talked about it that one day, didn't it?" he asked as he scratched at the side of his head, trying to remember in more detail. But most of those announcements had made little sense. "But I think that's the only time that it came up, and it was never really explained," he admitted, glancing down at his toast with a frown. He wished he had more to say, but he didn't.

Again, Sora had little idea what he was talking about. Despite the disappointment resulting from this, Venom kept himself composed, his fingers being the only outward sign of movement as they tapped along his arm. Perhaps if he reminded him, it would bring an idea to the surface. "It's what they're using to try and control us, Sora. The patients." And, in what would be Martin Landel's fatal mistake, "The visitors as well."

He was going to regret making that mistake. He was going to regret the day he dared touch Master Zato and his memories. He was going to regret putting himself in between them.

Back on topic, Venom.

The Guild Head sighed, briefly taking a moment to press his palm against his aching forehead, then continued. "I admit I didn't understand at first, but from what I remember of the messages, Next-Wave is the main program and draw of the Institute; a tool for 're-education'. If it isn't a red herring, it's an appropriate hypothesis as any to assume that regardless of further goals and justifications for these actions," after the discussion with Alkaid, he was not going to bring up that sponsorship and the implications thereof. He was not, "the end result of these Next-Wave experiments all ultimately end in brainwashing their victims to perceive what the institute wants. If this is true, it implies that not only are the visitors past victims as Iris claimed, but maybe even those in the town nearby."

The hand on his head moved to brush aside a part of his bangs behind an ear, allowing him to fix the boy with one cold eye. "You said the townsfolk changed that night. Despite that, however, they reappeared the week after and easily bought into the ill-convinced story the institute has fed them. They blame the patients for this incident, regardless of all evidence to the contrary." The next words out of his mouth were personal information. Everything in the look he gave the teenager showed that he was not going to accept any questions as to how he knew this. "They were in the same, undead condition last night. If that is their true form, or if they are subjected to transforming into those creatures at nightfall, they don't know what they are."

...He lowered his head, his hair falling with the motion to cover anything that had been exposed. "If it's connected and I'm correct - which I don't claim to be - they want us to be next. Perhaps not to the exact fate of those in the town, but it's enough." He turned his head back up, leaving only that large glyph to stare intensely at the shorter male. "But there has to be a way to reverse its effects. Otherwise, the phenomenon of reappearing patients wouldn't occur.

"I don't suppose you have any ideas, do you?"

The concept of patients here eventually becoming visitors was one that Sora had come across a few times already. There was, for instance, that time when Riku had come to see him, though that had luckily been reversed by now. He didn't know how long his older friend had in this place or if there were plans to brainwash him again, but it was something that Sora always worried about in the back of his mind.

He also remembered when Nowe had come to visit Renji. That had felt like ages ago by this point, but that had been an example of someone he'd met in this place, rather than knowing from home, who had then been seized and forced to believe he was someone else. Even if Sora hadn't seen it for himself, he believed everything Renji had told him. Though at the thought of the shinigami and his ultimate fate, the boy realized that his appetite was completely gone, and he shoved his tray to the side.

So "Next-Wave" was just some fancy name for the unfair things that Mr. Landel did to his friends. But who was Sora kidding? He had been through it too. He'd spent a day thinking he was Matthew Lawrence instead of just plain Sora. Had that been some sort of test run, then? But he wouldn't let that be permanent; he'd fight it, if it was the last thing he did.

While he had wanted to hope that Donald had just been taken straight from home and brainwashed right away, it was sounding more and more likely that his feathered friend had actually walked these halls himself. Sora had wanted to reject that idea, but maybe that was just denial on his part. The boy sighed and shook his head to himself.

The idea that the townspeople were caught in the same trap was something that Sora had vaguely considered, but more in terms of the nurses here. He was about to say something about it, but that was when Venom implied that he had made it to Doyleton last night. With one of the rings, maybe? Sora's eyes widened as he looked across the table at the other man, only remembering after that fact that Venom wasn't big on eye contact.

When the man turned the conversation back on him, Sora furrowed his brow in thought. "I know a lot of people hate the nurses here, but... I don't think they realize what they're a part of. They've always been nice to me, so I think they're just being used and... turned into monsters for Mr. Landel's use." It was a horrible thought, but it made the most sense. It was the sort of thing that would make him feel guilty every time he had to fight against one of the nurses, but sometimes that couldn't be avoided.

And it was the same with the zombies in town, too. Not that that was going to come up as often, or so he hoped. "I know what it's like, kind of. It may have happened before you got here, but me and a bunch of other patients spent a day thinking we were... who they want us to be." That whole situation had been uncomfortable, especially looking back on it now. "Maybe they're still trying to perfect it." Maybe that was why special counseling patients only stayed brainwashed for the duration of one night.

If it wasn't perfected yet, that definitely meant that there might be a way to reverse the effects and help their friends get back to themselves. So, as bad as it all was, that possibility brought a small smile to the boy's face.

Hmph. He had forgotten about the nurses, but even the reminder of their transformations wasn't surprising. Was everything in this world forced to undergo those horrific changes at night? Were they the only ones immune?

He could feel his chest grow cold and his fingers curl into his palms as his mind ran away with an alternative scenario: Next-Wave was meant to force its victims into perceiving what they were programed to. He'd seen it in the nurses when Iris had spoken instead of Landel. He'd seen it in the visitors and the civilians in town. He had enough paranoia with the information he'd gathered from Alkaid and the hypothesis made that this were some holographic construct being overlayed on what was actually real.

What if you're already seeing what they want you to? What if you don't realize it? What if they only look like monsters to you?

What if Master Zato is the same as them?

His eyes found themselves focusing on a gaggle of nurses in the distance, as if will itself would be enough to see through them and prove the idea wrong. He ended up shaking his head to himself. It was ridiculous. He was overthinking the matter - it couldn't possibly be true. They could never do that, not to--...

His attention went back to Sora when he began to speak about his personal experience with the program. "I remember that day," he mused, more to himself than his company. Bridget had mentioned the sudden changes in most of the patients, much to Venom's own incredulousness that something of that scale would happen without him noticing it himself. He had mostly forgotten about the incident, really; at least aside from scant memories of the teenager who had attacked Edward.

He didn't want to believe something like that could affect him, but... Sora had been here for a very long time. Somehow, he's managed to avoid the same fate of all the others who've disappeared. If they could manipulate even him...

He could tell the memory was an unhappy one. The boy may not even be willing to speak of it in more detail, but the question needed to be asked - if Sora really did believe in doing whatever it took for the greater good, he'd understand. "Can you tell me what you remember from that day?"

So Venom had been around for that time. It didn't sound like he had actually been a part of it, but from what Sora could tell, it had only affected a portion of the patients. It had been a pretty significant portion, but there had been a fair share of patients who had been forced to watch as their friends lost themselves. Thinking of it that way, he had to admit that it would have sucked to be on either side of it.

It was no surprise that the older man was curious about it, though. If there was one thing Venom seemed to be other than serious and reprimanding, it was curious. He'd definitely asked a lot of questions during their first talk, anyway, and that seemed to be continuing now. Even in Doyleton, he'd wanted to know more about the zombies.

"It's actually pretty fuzzy now," he admitted with a sigh as he rubbed awkwardly at the back of his head. "But... it was as if I was a different person. I don't think I even acted the same." He started to wring his hands together without even realizing, staring off across the cafeteria as he spoke. For once he was the one who couldn't look his conversation partner in the face.

"There were memories, lots of them, of some life that never even happened. But it felt so real at the time. I can only remember some of it now, but at the time I was completely convinced." To the point that he'd run around correcting his friends about who he was. He'd probably freaked out a lot of people that way, and he was just relieved that it hadn't lasted.

Not sure of what else to say, Sora finally glanced back over at Venom and shrugged his shoulders. "Does that help?" He wasn't even sure why the man was asking, but he got the feeling Venom had a reason for it. Any clue into how the brainwashing was done would probably be worth looking at, right?

Venom listened quietly as Sora recounted the incident, drawing one hand up and under the veil of hair to rest on his chin as the other stayed crossed against his chest. So it was the same as everyone else...

There had to be a goal here. This had to make sense and it had to connect, and the answer was right in front of him somewhere. Between the nurses and townspeople blindly believing in the institute and being unable to see what they were, the visitors claiming these false memories to be true, the patients falling victim to this brainwashing... There had to be a reason.

The word "war" came to his mind. Landel had mentioned it before, hadn't he? Once, before silencing himself again. And again, the word "sponsorship." That had been Iris speaking, something Landel hadn't planned on. The assassin had spoken of it to Alkaid before (before she eventually decided she was incapable of listening to him for more than five seconds and rebuffed everything out of his mouth just for the sake of it), that if this were being sponsored, then maybe it wasn't just Landel they needed to worry about. Sponsorships implied they needed money, which meant either a corporation or even a government decided this facility had been a bright idea and decided to fund it despite all controversy.

Why? For this war? War against what? Why them out of everyone in these (and it never got any easier for him to swallow this) many universes? Why brainwash them, weaponize them for this purpose, when they would strip away all of their abilities anyway? Why falsify these lives, taunt them with these visitors, or even blind those outside of the institute - wouldn't that be overkill? Why was this still continuing to happen?

...What went wrong here?

When Sora asked his question, Venom nodded in confirmation. But as much as it obviously troubled the boy, he had to know - so he continued to ask. "You snapped out of it. Do you remember how? If anything in particular may have triggered it?"

It looked like Sora had said something that had been useful, since Venom took some time to just sit there and think through things. While the boy was curious to know some of what was going through the man's head, he knew better than to interrupt when he was in the middle of things. Venom would share what he wanted when he wanted, and Sora wasn't going to force him or anything. Not that he could really force the man to do anything he didn't want to do in the first place.

While his appetite had been stifled earlier, he decided to force a few more pieces of fruit down while he waited for Venom to gather his thoughts. It was enough to make it feel like he'd had a substantial meal without being too much -- too much by Venom's standards, anyway.

At the next question, Sora could only sigh. "It was one of those things that happened overnight, kind of like a switch was just turned. I remember being in a friend's room" -- he didn't really know if Demyx counted as a friend, but he didn't want to complicate what he was saying by getting into that -- "thinking I was Matt, and then suddenly it was day and I knew who I was again. I mean, it was kind of confusing when I first woke up, but it didn't take me long to figure it out. I think that's how it worked for everyone, too." That was what he'd pieced together from random notes on the bulletin, anyway.

He wondered how many of the people who had gone through that had now been brainwashed for good and "released" from this place. It was the sort of thing that would be really tough to figure out, though. Frowning, Sora slowly started to edge his tray of half-finished food toward Venom, trying to spur him to eat once more.

...Hm. "Either whatever they had done wore out after a set amount of time, or--," he trailed off mid-sentence, taking the moment to push the offered tray to the side and away from himself, "I'm fine, Sora." His tone of voice was nothing but cold, but it lessened as he continued to speak. "Or Landel purposely corrected the behavior the next morning." He frowned to himself at that, thinking it over. That didn't make sense, from the stand-point of a captor with their main motivation being to erase the memories of others. "If he were capable of warping the populace at will, he would have done so to us all and refuse to revert things to normal." Venom tilted his head, the hand on his chin dropping into his lap. "Something is wrong."

These ideas would have to wait, however. The intercom took the moment to interrupt the discussion with its regular cheerful banter and the usual woman in white took it upon herself to march to the table and urge the older man to depart. Tiresome...

No matter how much it hurt to do so, the Guild Head stood from his seat and bowed at the waist before leaving. "Thank you for your time."

It was hard to know if Mr. Landel did things for a specific reason or if there were actually limits on what he did. Sora wanted to hope that it was the latter, and it almost seemed like Venom felt the same way. But it was true -- why hadn't he done it to all of them, if he was so powerful?

Unfortunately, his attempts to get Venom to eat more ended in failure, not to mention it seemed like the shift was ending. Sora was glad that he'd eaten a decent amount himself, but he wished that he would have gotten the older man to do the same. It looked like he was out of time, though.

Nonetheless, Venom actually bowed to him as if he was grateful for their conversation. Did that mean that he'd helped after all? "No problem!" he replied with a smile as he stood up from his seat. "I'll see you around, okay?" And with that, he headed off to meet a nurse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Day 51: Breakfast

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject