damned_institute | Day 23: Lunch

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Day 23: Lunch

The second the intercom sounded, while the man on the intercom was still talking, Ashton pulled himself off the couch in the Music Room and slowly made his way to the door. He walked, glided even, as if he were a ghost in a dream. The nurses had already filed up to escort the patients to the lunchroom, and one bustled over to walk Ashton those few feet from one room to another.

"You're not looking very well, Mr. Pritchett," she said cheerfully. "Didn't you enjoy your shower?"

Ashton replied with a small, forced smile, then shook his head. He didn't feel like talking now. Though the nurses were pushy and downright annoying, he figured he owed this one at least a little explanation. They didn't know - or didn't believe - what went on after dark, but he owed them the benefit of the doubt. "Bad day," he decided on telling her.

Bad day indeed. The showers and the music had done nothing for his nerves. But then again, what could get that graphic image out of his head?

He glided ghostily through the taco line and settled on two chicken and bean tacos, with chips, a scoop of guacamole, two churros on the side, and a glass of apple juice. He wasn't used to this sort of food (save the juice) and he wasn't even sure he'd eat it, but the chances were high that he'd be able to pass it off on someone.

He was on the verge of tears again, too. What he would have given to just sit down next to a barrel and eat a hamburger.

Thank goodness the cafeteria was bare just now, too. It left all the corner tables open, the tables that shouted 'Don't talk to me, I'm brooding over here.' He sat at one, pushed his food a little away from him, and buried his head in his arms.

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Ashton reached out with his fork and poked at one of the churros on his plate, deciding to pick it up and raise it to his lips after realizing it was probably finger food. He'd lost his appetite earlier, but the warrior side of him knew that he'd be getting sluggish and probably even more depressed a little later in the day if he didn't force himself to eat something.

"I.. I don't know. I can't .. really function right now." he said, taking a bite and chewing it mechanically. At any other time, he'd have marvelled at the tastiness of the fried pastry, but now it was just something that might just pick his energy up.

And that scene again. The blue-haired teenager, shivering in fear, shame and helplessness, grabbed his sword by one end of the blade in order to easier guide it closer to the skin, pushing the metal in and jerking it back, hoping it'd rip and tear, as blood beaded to the broken skin and blossomed down his arm..

Ashton dropped the churro back onto his plate after a single bite, tears falling down his face faster than before. He'd wanted to hide his crying, so unsuitable for a man his age, and in the shower it had been easy. Here - not so much. It was a good thing he was facing the wall. It was also a good thing that this person gave him the feeling that she wouldn't judge him.

He wiped his eyes again, and after a moment his voice, thick with tears and punctuated with sniffles, could be heard. "Your friend .. the healer. Do you think.. she'd be able to help Dias today?"

"Ah..." Rein reached towards him when she saw the first tears, then stopped. As she'd thought, she was poor at this. How many minds had she shared with how many masters? ...and yet she was still so poor at knowing them, let alone mending them.

She nodded, an unspoken apology written on her face. "I'm sure she'll be able to." If for some reason Raine couldn't, she'd do it herself. Even if it would mean the expenditure of all the power she'd gathered over the day, surely it was a worthy use...

Raine took a while assembling her own meal; she wasn't entirely familiar with a few of the ingredients and wasn't sure what was good. She liked the smell of the hot sauce, though... she made something of a criss-cross pattern over the meat and rice with it.

Not much for meeting new people, she just looked around for Reinforce again; it took her a moment to recognize the person her roommate was with as one of the men from last night. When she came close enough to see how upset he was, she hesitated, but decided one more person at the table shouldn't bother him--there was almost no privacy here anyway.

Uncertain what to say, especially since she was likely interrupting something, she simply nodded to them as she sat down next to Rein.

Dias hadn't known what to think of Ashton's abrupt, choked-up departure from the showers, and when he arrived at lunch and saw that Ashton was indeed distraught - so much so that even Dias could see it, from across the cafeteria - even his usual appetite was precluded by his concern.

Moving over to the table without even collecting his usual tray, he rested a hand lightly on Ashton's shoulder. "Hey. What's wrong?" The expression on his face hadn't changed, but the look in his eyes suggested true concern.

Ashton's mind, already muddled with fuzzy emotion, registered Raine's face as the person who he'd been asking the light-blue-haired woman about. He couldn't see her ears, though, but vaguely wondered if she was hiding Nedian eartips underneath. He was just about to speak up and ask Raine something about it, or her healing power, when Dias showed up.

He hadn't been physically or emotionally ready for Dias to touch him, and he certainly didn't want the taller man to see his tears. So he turned his face down, shaking his head. "It's.. it's nothing, Dias."

He gestured with a tear-smudged hand at the full tray of food he had. The bite of churro was giving him a slight bit of a stomachache, and he didn't want the food to go to waste. "..Take my food?"

Reinforce watched the exchange, and when Ashton turned away from his friend she turned to Raine and indicated Dias. "Can you heal him today? It seems he hasn't recovered over the night."

Ashton didn't seem to want his friend's intervention any more than hers right now... she would stick to the topic he'd proposed, and hope that it was something they could talk about without the level of discomfort Ashton was currently displaying.

...she really was a long way from being like Hayate or Amaterasu. Suddenly feeling a bit melancholy herself, she returned her attention to her burrito, and more of her unfortunate creation went to its horrifying fate.

"Of course." Raine put her food aside for the moment--if she was lucky, it would restore her energy after she was done--and glanced at the nurses. None were keeping an especially close eye on them; good. She only glanced at Dias before closing her eyes; even First Aid was self-guiding, healing what needed to be without her specific direction.

Keeping her hand below the level of the table to keep her actions discreet, she sketched the long-unneeded symbol in the air. She couldn't hide the white runes that suddenly glowed around her so easily, but the staff here was so willfully ignorant she couldn't see them saying anything to her about it. Nor could she control the fact that Dias glowed for a moment when she murmured, "First Aid!" but in the light of day, it wasn't nearly as remarkable as it would have been in darkness.

That done, she opened her eyes and looked at him. "There. That wasn't as strong as it should have been, but I'm still learning my limits here." She glanced at her Exsphere for a moment; it was just an ordinary crystal here, as far as she could tell. No soft glow, no warmth that didn't come from her own body heat, nothing. Despite that and its origins, she still hadn't been able to bring herself to remove it; she sincerly doubted it was causing any harm, and it might be beneficial again later.

Before Dias could press Ashton further - he wasn't convinced by any stretch - he found himself the topic of conversation between the two girls sitting nearby. It took him a moment to recognize them from the night before, which meant that one of them...

Even as he remembered, he felt the healing power flow over him, a cool tingling sensation that centered itself on his shoulder - and on the wound in his side, although that had already healed itself considerably. It wasn't quite like Rena's - Rena's power had been warm like the sun - but it was still a mildly pleasant feeling, particularly knowing what it was doing.

Once he felt the spell had done its work, he checked himself to note the progress it had made on his wounds. The wound in his side was completely gone, although he still felt sore and there were still pale blue bruises under the skin; he'd noted that with Rena as well, that the magic healed the actual damage but not the pain and bruises the damage had resulted in. Possibly bruises weren't even considered enough damage to bother with for a healing spell. His shoulder was still wounded, but the cut was considerably shallower, well on its way to healing over, and no longer hurt with every moment of that arm - a fact he tested by flexing the muscles of it and opening and closing his hand.

"Thank you," he said, nodding to the two girls(true, only the one had healed him, but it had been at the other's instigation). It seemed a rather subdued expression of gratitude, but for Dias this was positively exuberant.

Ashton nodded at Raine after Dias had checked his wounds. "Yes. Thank you, ma'am," he mumbled, his voice a strange, hoarse facsimile of its normal sound. He was glad for the change of subject, though his stomach still seemed fit to argue with anything he put in it.

He reached up and brushed his fingers against Dias' hand on his shoulder. "Y-you should go get some food.. or eat mine. I'm not going to touch it, I'm afraid."

How strange, telling Dias of all people to go feed himself. Was he really worried, that he'd forgone the buffet even as soon as it was offered? If that was true, Ashton would probably be forced later to explain his own strange, emotional behavior. He wasn't looking forward to that.

He tried to put what was depressing him out of his mind, and forced a little smile.

Reinforce smiled in what she hoped was a calming manner, happy at least to have seen this good deed done. Even using magic-storage she doubted she'd be very efficient as a healer, and watching Raine work made her feel a bit better about that. As a team they had all their bases covered, right?

Right now she felt it was better to leave the two men alone, and turned to Raine again. "Is your endurance improving at all?" If Raine could learn to use the spell more often they could much better afford to heal everyone they encountered instead of applying triage rules or favoring those they knew...

"I can't say," Raine admitted, reluctantly. "I've never cast more than two spells in a day here; I suppose I could experiment with that, but I don't want to leave myself helpless during Nightshift." She thought for a moment. "Although, since it seems safe enough in our rooms, so long as any experiemnts are done near patient rooms it should be worth a try." She glanced at Rein for a moment, wondering if the woman was strong enough to carry her if it came to that... if not, she guessed she could trust Dias or Ashton to take her back to safety.

She made a mental note to try to avoid power experiments when she knew Zelos was nearby, though; even if she didn't pass out completely...

"I have to say I'm glad we managed to get weapons, though, if magic proves too much of an obstacle for now," she added. "I'd actually like to study the monsters here and see if anything new can be learned from them." If no one had started compiling a bestiary, she would--she suspected even the longtime veterans of the place had a lot to learn, and knowing what they were up against should help tremendously.

Ashton stared numbly off into space while the women spoke, hearing jumbled words, white noise instead of speech. It was anything but intentional, though. Under normal circumstances, the friendly swordsman would have smiled, nodded, and maybe asked a question or two.

These were not normal circumstances.

Even the thought of attempting to clear his mind of the subject of Dias' past suicide attempt seemed vulgar, and it was making him a little bit ill. Sure, the healer had just significantly improved Dias' shoulder wound, but Ashton couldn't do anything like that. More importantly, though, he couldn't heal his friend's emotional scars, much as he wanted to.

He stood up suddenly, leaving his food on the table, covering his mouth with a hand as if he were about to run away and be sick somewhere. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he was angry at himself. He just couldn't let something as serious as this go so easily! He couldn't just smile and pretend that nothing wrong had happened!

Without an explanation, he started walking away toward the middle of the bustling cafeteria.

[To here (http://community.livejournal.com/landels_damned/90002.html?thread=5505682#t5505682).]

With the two girls not paying him much attention, Dias turned his attention back to his still-obviously-upset friend - just in time to see Ashton, looking positively ill, get up and all but bolt from the table.

Even knowing that he wasn't much good at comforting people, Dias could hardly let his friend just run off in that state. (Even if he could, he'd feel like an utter bastard for doing so.) He hadn't even sat down at the table yet, so it was remarkably easy to move after Ashton - taking Ashton's tray with him as an afterthought. Ashton hardly looked like he was hungry but Dias still was, and Ashton had said Dias could have his food...

[To here (http://community.livejournal.com/landels_damned/90002.html?thread=5505682#t5505682).]

Reinforce nodded as the other's left and then returned her attention to Raine, nodding in agreement with her point on the difficulty of exploring her limitations. "I can't excuse leaving anyone just to try to expand our personal power, but if we're ever in a situation where you've reached that two-spell limit and we've completed our objectives for the night we could move back to the room and try then and there." She was in fact more than strong enough to carry Raine, but didn't want to be in a situation where it was necessary.

The talk of cataloging the monsters, though, gave her pause. "It'd be useful to have and distribute information on them, but this isn't a situation where we can experiment. Still, in a situation like this even anecdotes could have value if their limitations are understood."

"That sounds reasonable," Raine agreed. "It's been a while since I was this weak, so I'm a little hesitatant to take unnecessary risks right now."

After a moment, she added, "I think the bulletin board would be invaluable for this. I imagine most of the people here would be glad to share what they know." She hadn't spoken to many other people yet, but they had to have realized that teamwork was the only way they were going to have a fighting chance here.

"I agree. There isn't enough networking between the prisoners. There are a few organizational efforts but most seem content to simply form a normal social net and depend on them. Organizing into cells would be much better." Of course, communication was not easy- the nurses were everywhere, and the bulletin board was monitored. Still, she wondered how much might be gained by organizing openly. Would Landel's step in to remove leaders or was this within the parameters of their game?

Finished with her meal, Raine was free to focus her full attention on this new idea--she very much liked having a puzzle she could solve. "If the staff objects to that sort of post, there are other ways as well--passing around a notebook and asking people to add to it, as well as making copies. Also, it would be easy to disguise giving monster information to the children as simple mythology... something along those lines could be organized for the adults, as well."

She would prefer it if they didn't have to do everything in secret, but even if they did it was doable, just a little harder. They had numbers on their side, and she knew well that even small groups could enact big changes--with enough perseverance.

The huntsman leisurely approached the table where two ladies had themselves seated, presumably in deep discussion. He had yet to meet an unattractive female patient at the Institute. That isn't what this was about, though.

He scuffled to a halt next to them, granting each a doting glance and clearing his throat. He must've been standing there for at least five seconds before he opened his mouth.

"Ha... uh, hi." Dean raised a hand in polite greeting to Raine.

"You might not remember me..." He then turned to Rein, letting out a short cough to conceal a nervous grin. Swaying slightly on his feet, he plugged on. "Dean. I arrived here yesterday. Met you in the chapel." He rolled his eyes (at his own poor composure, it seemed), scratching his head while forcing a pleasant smile. "I didn't get a chance to say 'thank you', so... thank you." He now frowned, eyes on the floor.

Man. Sam could've done better than that.

Reinforce blinked, not at the awkward introduction- she was hardly socially adept herself, being best-suited to proclaiming dooms and the like- but the idea that she might have forgotten. "Of course I remember. It was no trouble at all; I'm glad to see you're doing well." Trying to meet many patients meant she couldn't keep tabs on all of them, and though dealing with her past had made her good at accepting such trade-offs, she was not immune to worry.

She nodded. "Have a seat. We're discussing building a knowledgebase amongst the patients on the different types of creatures that appear during the night." She indicated the chair next to her and resumed her conversation with Raine.

"Disguising it as legends could work. It would be labor-intensive, but there's plenty of free time during the day." Writing while going about the dayshift activities would be easy for her. "Belkan lore has many questing legends suitable for modification to include detailed descriptions of our local monsters."

"First, though, we need to learn how open we can be," Raine said. "I imagine the main objection the staff would make is that this 'encourages our delusions'." She made no effort to hide her disgust at the prospect. "But if they do drive us 'underground', it won't do more than slow us down." She wasn't just being arrogant--between her and Reinforce alone, they should be able to come up with plenty of ideas.

Although her little brother had gotten his ego from somewhere.

She nodded to the new person, at least, but waited for him to join the conversation rather than change the subject for him. This was important, and the sooner they got details worked out, the better.

Dean beamed at the reception, no longer tense. He took the offered seat, sprawling as he pressed an arm upon the table, leaning back into the bench. Emerald eyes gleamed as he again studied her, noting the absence of crutches she'd held at her sides yesterday morning. If her injury had healed that quickly, then his burns might be gone in the next forty-eight hours! ... Or so he hoped.

Interest peaked by the mention of 'creatures', he sported an engrossed expression; the kind he used to display when brainstorming with Sam. It would certainly assist the patients if a clandestine record of monsters were available.

"I think we should worry about our defenses before delving into that department." He recalled the gun Reno had pilfered from the boy last night. If the Institute handed them out to patients under Special Counseling...

He drummed his fingers on the table in deliberation. "Hey, what exactly happens with Special Counseling anyway? I mean," he looked pointedly at the girl beside him, "Do the patients have memory of the... spellbinding process or whatever? Would there be a chance that any of us could be immune to it? What I'm getting at –" he lifted a hand to impede any interruption – "Is... they give them weapons. Stuff we can use against the ugly sons of bitches. Would those patients have been informed where the weapons are stored, d'you think?"

That was Dean for you; gun-toting to the finish.

Reinforce wasn't so confident that opposition could be easily overcome, but neither did she expect them to use their position to fullest advantage. This was why she saw Landel's only as a game; the arbitrary use of power by the staff. They could have been much more effective in quashing organized resistance if they wished, but during dayshift they followed their little script even when that made things easier for the patients. "The bulletin postings don't seem to be extensively censored, even when we discuss our worlds of origin. They may not care."

To Dean's question she responded carefully. "I am not much more experienced than you, but Hisoka described being injected. He clearly remembered something. We need to find someone clear-minded who can talk freely about the experience to interview. With regards to resistance, though, I doubt it is possible. If the ones running this place are the same that brought us here, they have power over beings of all natures. My presence and Amaterasu's are proof of that." The twisted immortal Lost Logia and divine Sun God... they had been taken while weak, but once here all were.

She mulled his final point for a bit. "It's no doubt under heavy guard," she recalled the powerful cyborg she'd face her second night, "but you're right. The armory they supply the brainwashed patients from would represent the greatest prize we know to look for." If the Book could be found... she'd in all likelihood be invincible once more. "With a large group of skilled and well-equipped patients, perhaps..."

"If we moved in packs of ten, we could nail the suckers," said Dean, easily enthused by the idea. "The bulletin would prove handy for organizing that, I'd think." He gently scraped his nails along the table. "We could ask everyone if they have fighting experience, and we could sort groups that way; have the experienced lead those who aren't."

If Sam were here, they'd have designed a full-fledged revolt against the Institute by now. Well, he liked to assume so, anyway.

"How does the selection process for Special Counseling work?" He additionally queried as the thought arose. "If we could premeditate resistance... plan a counter-attack to resist the brainwashing. Somehow."

Reinforce shook her head. "Fighting experience and numbers aren't enough against some of their servants. During my second night here the group I was with tried to interfere with the the night shift staff and encountered a cyborg. Those that fought all had great skill and two had great powers, but we were still at a disadvantage. The armory will be as bad or worse." Assembling a sufficiently powerful group would be a challenge. Many already had made alliances... she knew she would be hesitant to leave Raine to aid a stranger even if they had such lofty objectives.

Her response to the second question was also negative. "As I said I have no clear account of Special Counseling. Given the ease with which the patients, including me, are returned to our rooms and put to sleep after the night shift without any memory of the move it is possible none exists to be had."

She would have preferred to be more encouraging, but the point of sounding an idea was to identify flaws. Better to argue now than fail later.

Day 23: Lunch

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