damned_institute | Day 41: Intercom, Evening

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Day 41: Intercom, Evening

When the intercom's jingle sounded, there seemed to be some kind of tapping in the background noise, like letters being punched into a keyboard. It stopped and the Head Doctor chuckled.

"Hello, everyone! I'm actually taking a break from paperwork for once – everyone needs some recreational time, you know! – and of course, now we can all look forward to a scrumptious dinner from our cooks. Tonight, herb-seasoned grilled salmon is on the menu, served with buttery mashed potatoes and asparagus. All our regular drinks and vegetarian options are available, and for dessert, we will be serving yellow cake with a whipped cream icing.

"...Well! I can hardly wait to get my own dinner after saying all that. Good bye for now, everyone, and enjoy your delicious food!"

The intercom clicked off.

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"Huh, oh yeah su-" Ryuk frowned. "Hey...so...what are you?"

Guy seemed to be lacking a name and lifespan... Only ever happened with Shinigami before.... And those weird words were familiar from the board, he was sure...

Well, that was a weird question, and it only had one answer that made sense. "Shinigami." Simple and to the point, Kenpachi was never one to dance around the subject. "I'm assumin' that's what you were asking."

"Huh. Huhuhuhyukhyuk hyuk!" he ~~hyukked~~laughed. "So you're one of these hard workin' Shinigami. So what's the deal...?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching his roommate.

He may have been bored back home, but at least he wasn't working as hard as these saps.

"Hard workin'?" Kenpachi asked. Like hell he was! Bored out of his mind was more like it. At least that was until Ichigo showed up. That little mortal shinigami had been the most fun he'd had in years. "I dunno who the hell you've been talkin' to, but aside from having to show up at meetings and maybe hand out an assignment here 'n there, I wouldn't call the work I'm doin' hard. Boring's more like it."

"Meetings?! What! Are you mad...why you gotta go to meetings?" He seemed more scandalized than amused by it. His own poor kind being abused li- whatever. It wasn't him.

"That does sound boring..." he nodded. "Guess we're bored no matter where we are, huh? Killing just ain't as fun as it used to be."

Ok, that was a lie. he'd gotten a little more creative after the whole Kira thing. Just...when nobody was watching. He'd be so embarrassed if anybody read his Death Note now.

A man after his own heart! "Yer telling me," Kenpachi said with a sigh. "A fight ain't half worth it unless there's a chance I could lose...and with the exception of one kid, I ain't had a worthy foe in decades." Well, at least the morons who ran this place got one thing right by putting him with someone else who understood just how boring killing could be if there were no challenge to it.

Ryuk put his hands in front of them and waved them frantically.

"Woah woah woah, that's not what I was sayin'! You fight humans?!"

He was pretty sure that he'd be able to fight humans in his normal form, what with them being unable to to really harm him and all... but that wasn't the point. Fighting was work.

"Humans? Why the fuck would I fight humans? A human wouldn't even be able to get a hundred meters from me."

Seriously, did he really think fighting a human would be any fun at all? Maybe here in this institute, with his powers as drained as they were, but even with every barrier the 12th division could place on him back home, a fight with a human would be over before it had begun. With Ichigo it had been different.

"Ichigo was...different. Even though still alive, he was a shinigami. Don't ask me how."

"Hey! I wasn't sayin' you should! Way too much work, ri- Oh right. You guys do things differently," he remembered. No wonder the guy seemed grumpy. But there was no way in hell Ryuk was sharing his Death Note.

"...Am I supposed to know who that is?" Ryuk asked, dumbly.

"Differently than what?" Kenpachi asked, confused.

"Nah, prolly not. He was just some kid. Crappy stance, but his reiatsu was the real deal. Only person in decades to actually beat me." He didn't sound upset about this at all. If anything, he sounded pleased, and there was a hint of admiration to his tone. Though he'd never admit such dumb things to anyone else, Ichigo was his friend and had earned that right through combat.

Ryuk wasn't sure he liked this guy anymore.... Nothing personal. He just seemed a bit nuts.

"Reiatsu? Geez, you guys really got it tough. So. How d'things works in your part of the Realm? I mean...who you Shini'ing, if you get me. ANd how. And why? I mean...you're getting something outta this, right?"

"You mean Soul Burials and all that crap?" Kenpachi asked. "I don't bother with 'em. Too much of a hassle, really. All that work crap I usually let Yachiru, my vice captain, take care of. She seems to get a kick outta tormenting the lower rankers in the 11th. When it comes to fightin', though, I usually fight other Shinigami if I've got the chance. Not much point here, though. Without their bankai a fight against 'em just wouldn't be the same."

Ryuk stared at his roommate blankly.

"I...I got no idea what the hell you just told me." Somebody buries things and this guys picks fights with other Shinigami? What the hell? What was the point? Work wasn't worth the effort even when you got a result. Why pick on an unbeatable enemy?

What an idiot.

"Huh? I thought you were a shinigami," Kenpachi said, confused. First crazy other-language-shinigami, and now this guy? It made his brain hurt just thinking about it.

"Yeah...seems like there's a bunch of us goin' round with our own versions or sumthin'. So far....you all sound the same to me. Workin' way too hard and for no real reason. I just pick and choose a human, take his life span and...you know...gamble or sumthin'. None of this...working crap."

"I wouldn't call what I do 'work'," Kenpachi answered. He wasn't really feeling defensive about it, but the whole different versions of shinigami thing was making his brain hurt. "They expect things of me, but if I don't wanna do 'em, I don't. Usually I just give my reports to Yachiru so she can use 'em for coloring paper. If I do something, it's because I wanna do it."

"...Why you wanna do stuff?" Ryuk asked, still baffled but a little less...dramatic about it. He was quieter now, calmer. COmpletely and utterly baffled.

"It kills time," Kenpachi answered honestly. "Keeps me occupied so I don't die again from boredom."

"....you died? From boredom?" That was worrying. Ryuk hadn't known it to happen to any of his lot, but the boredom got so bad at points that it did seem possible. Nah, he was fine now. After the human world thing...yeah. He was ok. He was sure.

Right?

"Huh? Naw...well, maybe. I don't remember how I died. That was centuries ago." He couldn't be expected to remember every single detail about his life. Or any detail, for that matter. All he remembered was the streets.

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Day 41: Intercom, Evening

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