damned_institute | Day 39: Intercom, Evening

A ringing voice cut through Diego's consciousness and jolted him awake. Sluggish memories crawled back into his head as he lay, stunned, and informed him that the voice had said something about... pork. Whatever that was.

"Sid?" he asked faintly, frowning up at an unnaturally white surface. Wasn't he supposed to be dead? Didn't he - oh, wait. Was this wherever you went when you died?

A sterile scent, mixed with the smell of meat and fire, filled his nostrils. A strange, soft sensation pushed up underneath him. His vision was blurry, rendering him incapable of seeing more than the white surface above him... but not white because of snow or ice. It wasn't cold enough.

Diego tried to stand up to examine his surroundings more thoroughly and find out where the owner of the voice was. That plan didn't work out quite as well as he hoped it would, since to Diego's utter surprise, his idea of standing up didn't quite work out with his body's idea. His brain was preparing his muscles to roll up onto all fours and step forward. His muscles completely ignored that and worked off of some other set of orders that somehow involved lurching forward off the soft ground, trying to land on two paws in the dip below. The two trains of thought collided, and Diego's body went rolling off onto a ground that was much harder. He yowled and madly scrambled for the soft surface that was now somehow above him, which also didn't work due to the nonexistence of his front claws.

No... front... claws.

Diego lay still for a second. Only two paws, limbs much longer than he remembered, the comforting feel of his teeth against his fur gone...

Oh no. He was turning into Sid.

Before that realization could dawn out into any kind of a conclusion, Diego became acutely aware of a pair of eyes watching him.

He turned his head slowly, trying to make out the figure. Everything felt mismatched and blurry and wrong right now, and the annoying sensation of being watched wasn't helping.

"Ummm..." Porky said nervously, "Hello..."

Dammit! Porky had tried to be quiet to make sure that the strange man wouldn't wake up, but it looked like Porky had failed. What was with this guy, anyway? He was acting like he was an animal or something!

...Wait...could it be that this man had been...no...no, that was impossible.

"I'm not Sid, I'm afraid," Porky said slowly, "But I'm pretty sure I can answer any questions you might have. I'm sure you're very confused."

Not Sid. Questions. Right. Diego tried to sort through the words as he pulled himself up using the convenient piece of rock jutting out of the wall behind him. If it was a wall; it didn't look anything like the stone or ice walls he was used to.

His vision finally began to clear up, and the blurry figure he was trying unsuccessfully to focus on swam slowly into focus. As soon as it did, the shock of what it was slipped his precarious grip on the edge of the rock and, with a yelp, he crashed back down to the ground.

"You're a human?" he managed to gasp out.

But humans couldn't talk. They couldn't... do anything. And he'd definitely never come across one as wide in the middle as this one was. What was going on?

This felt much too strange to be any kind of a death-place. And Diego was pretty sure any humans that appeared in a death-place were meant to be hunted down as easy food. Any place you went after you died should have easy food. He felt strangely like he'd been cheated.

Ah! So this strange man had been an animal! That would certainly explain his actions. Porky was able to ease up a little. If this man had been an animal, it would take a while for him to get used to moving in a human body. He was harmless...for now.

"Yes, I am a human!" Porky replied cheerfully, "And if I had to guess, I'd say that you aren't! Or, weren't, rather. I'd heard of robots being turned into humans, but not animals! Now that we've established that, what else do you want to know?"

It took a while for the most important part of that answer to sink in, but the moment it did, Diego grew very still.

...Weren't?

A black tendril of dread began to creep through him as he slowly looked down at his own limbs, but he already knew what he was going to see. Not that it helped lessen the shock at all, or the dismay.

This was what happened after you died? You turned into a human? A human that could talk? But why? Humans weren't anywhere near the top of the food chain! What made them so important?

He glanced up at the human, then gripped the edge of the rock and once again tried to pull himself up into some kind of a sitting position. This time, the five long extensions of his paw against the white surface registered, and he paused.

"Why?" he asked sharply. "Why humans? Why not sloths, or - no, not sloths. Why not sabers?" At least talking seemed to be normal. Good. Now he could focus on trying to become somewhat adept at moving around.

Sabers? Oh, did he mean saber-tooth tigers? How odd...that would make him...

"You were around during the ice age?!" Porky said excitedly, "Oh my pork! Not only were you an animal, but a prehistoric one, too! Oh, this is so amazing!"

"Ah, I'm not sure that you know this, but humans have evolved since you were around. Right now, we're the dominant species on the planet! I'm sure all you animals had the advantage during the ice age and whatnot, but since then, humanity's intelligence has allowed us to make weapons that your claws and fangs couldn't hope to match! Luckily, you got that crappy old body traded in for this new human body!"

While a lot of what the human was saying was completely lost on Diego - prehistoric? And why did he keep saying pork? - a lot of it very clearly hit home as well. Humanity's intelligence? Diego raised an eyebrow at that. In his experience, humanity's intelligence pretty much ended at sharp spears and yappy little dog creatures and those white things babies wore. Which he still found disgusting.

And never mind any of that, humans evolved? But that took millions of years at the very least. Was the human trying to say that Diego had been pulled millions of years into the future?

Or did all times exist at once after you died? That made more sense, somehow. Diego stuck with that theory to avoid any more confusion.

"...Crappy old body?" he repeated in a slow and dangerous tone. It was a tone that normally sent the animal it was directed to scampering for the hills, but it lost much of its threat when he didn't have the claws, fangs, and slow advancement on the prey to back it up. And Diego was painfully aware of that. "Have you ever faced a saber? I don't see any claws on you."

Ha ha ha! Look at him, trying to be all threatening in a body he was totally unaccustomed to! Whoever this was didn't scare Porky one bit.

"No, I'm afraid that I haven't ever faced a saber-tooth tiger!" Porky said, grinning deviously, "For, you see...they've gone extinct! That's right! Not a single one is left alive nowadays! Then again, if you'd have liked to have a fossil as a body instead of a human's body, be my guest!"

Diego blinked, his face suddenly a mask of confusion which he quickly slid off. He was a predator, he didn't show weakness.

But... extinct? Sabers... gone?

No. No, that was impossible. Mammoths could go extinct, easily - the only one he'd seen at all recently was Manny - and if all sloths were like Sid, they'd be extinct within two days. But not sabers.

With one last murderous glare at the human, Diego turned away from him and pulled up on the rock. He'd seen humans standing and walking before, he knew the basic motions. Slowly and carefully, he managed to stand on the bottom two paws, leaning heavily on the rock to keep his balance.

But it wasn't a rock, it was... much smoother. Just like everything else in the room, he hadn't seen it before.

"Oh, no need to be so cold!" Porky laughed, "I'm just telling you the facts! It's not like I'm trying to hurt you or anything. You looked perplexed, so I was trying to clear up that confusion!"

Look at him! He was standing so awkwardly! Porky couldn't help but snicker behind the ex-tiger's back.

"Anyway, it looks like you're having trouble adjusting to your new body," Porky said politely, "Is there anything I can do to help? Show you how to walk? How to jump? I may be old, but I'm guessing that I have a better understanding of a human's body than you do. No offense, of course."

The cheerful laugh at Diego's expense cut right through his considerable patience with the situation, but he forced himself to let it slide with only a soft growl. He had more important things to focus on, things like figuring out how to move around.

But his feline sensitive hearing picked up the snigger clearly, and that Diego wasn't about to let slide. He spun around with a snarl, remembering too late that he couldn't stand by himself yet. Instead of stalking forwards like he intended, he toppled back, close enough to the wall that the smooth rock caught his fall and kept him from ending up completely on the ground again. One of its sharp edges poked painfully into his back, but he hadn't exactly been able to aim at the softer surface beside it. The one he woke up on.

Diego didn't need any help with figuring out how to walk, he'd do that just fine by himself, barring any more of this human's distractions. But the human was right about one thing, at least; he did know more about their situation than Diego did. He waited a few moments for his anger to fade, then looked around once again at their surroundings. "Where are we?"

This animal's bumbling had been funny before, but seeing him try to attack Porky and fail so miserably...it was pretty pathetic. Porky actually felt a little bad making fun of someone so weak and powerless. Well, only a little.

"We're here at Landel's Institute," Porky said, "A place where Dr. Landel gathers extraordinary people to experiment on. No one's quite sure what his master plan is yet, but it certainly can't be good."

...If this guy was seriously from the ice age, Porky would have to explain a lot more than just where they were.

"Okay, let me tell you a bit more about where we are," Porky began, "To start, an 'institute' is a place where experiments take place. A 'doctor' is a human that uses medicine to help other humans. In Landel's case, however, it's the exact opposite. That thing you're leaning on is called a 'bed.' Us humans use it to sleep. Do you have any other questions? Seriously, feel free to ask whatever you want. I'll try to help in any way I can. It's pretty obvious you're having trouble like this."

Diego's face was completely blank. 'Where are we' was a question that normally got you a two-word answer like 'Glacier Pass.' Not only was he completely unprepared for the long explanation, but he barely understood less than half of it. In fact, the only part of it he completely understood was the 'bed' part.

After a few quiet moments, Diego cleared his throat. "Let me rephrase that. Are we dead?" It sounded strange out loud, but it would probably get him a simpler answer.

"Hmmmm..." Porky murmured, "I should certainly hope not. I don't technically know, but if I had to guess, I'd say no. After all, if you were dead, you'd probably still just be a saber-tooth tiger. Why bother changing your form if you've died, right?"

Porky paused for a moment.

"Sorry if I haven't been too helpful," Porky said quietly, "You're probably very confused and I don't think I've been sensitive enough to your plight. If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask."

Heh heh heh. Porky hadn't realized it before, but this animal was completely defenseless. Not only was Porky his roommate, but Porky was also the only person he knew in this hellhole. If Porky played his cards right, this new guy could be the newest member of the Pigmask club.

That was exactly what Diego wanted to know. What was the point of turning him into a human if he was already dead? Forget that, what was the point of turning him into a human at all?

Actually, he realized with a jolt, how had they even done that?

Glancing down at the ground, Diego shoved the thoughts from his mind for the time being and focused on trying to walk. He wasn't the type to just sit and think, and he would never get anywhere near answers to his questions if he couldn't even get from Point A to Point B, let alone attack or defend.

He tentatively reached out with one paw to hold the edge of the... 'bed.' Trying to remember the exact movements, he picked up one of the larger paws off the ground, pulled it forward, and set it down again.

Not as hard as it looked, but he was hardly jumping yet.

"Ah!" Porky exclaimed, "Your first steps! Good, good! You're getting used to your new body!"

Porky looked around for something that he could use to help his new roommate. A flashlight caught his eye.

"Here," Porky said as he picked up the flashlight, "The next thing you ought to learn is how to hold things with your new hands! If you really were a saber-tooth tiger before you came here, than you don't have any experience with opposable thumb. You know, that weird looking finger jutting out of your hand? Anyway, you really ought to learn how it operates if you want to defend yourself. Try to hold this flashlight with your hand."

...Porky couldn't shake the feeling that he was speaking just like someone in a tutorial...

Whatever. It would all be worth it if his new roommate was willing to follow him.

Diego looked down at the black stick, noting for future reference that it was called a 'flashlight.' A black stick that... what, produced light?

A mystery for later. "I know what an opposable thumb is," he replied irritably, still looking at the stick. Here, at last, was the secret to why humans, as defenseless as they were, still managed to wipe out half his old pack. The secret to being able to hold round things. Still somewhat skeptical, Diego kept his balance with his right... hand, and lifted the left one to take the stick. He slowly curled the five fingers around it, gently at first, then more firmly as he got used to the strange sensation.

So this was what it felt like.

"Oh, you're catching on quick!" Porky said happily, "Alright. Now on to the next lesson. Well, I shouldn't say 'lesson,' because I probably won't be able to teach it to you if you don't know it...it's more of a test, really...but that's not the point!"

This would have arguably the biggest impact on his new roommate's stay here at the institute. Whether or not he could defend himself was inconsequential. Porky was sure that plenty of people would be willing to help a defenseless person here. However, if this ex-tiger couldn't read, which he probably couldn't, then his stay at the institute would be a miserable one indeed. The bulletin board was, after all, one of the most useful resources here.

Porky scanned his desk for the journal that all patients had. When he had found it, he took a pen out from his pocket and wrote "Can you read this?" on one of the pages in big block letters.

"Alright," Porky said as he held up the journal so his new roommate could see what he had written, "Do you understand what this means?"

Diego couldn't help a thin veil of pride at his success as he turned the stick over a couple of times to test its weight in the hand. It was going to take some getting used to - not just because he'd never done it before, but because it felt completely wrong - but he was getting it. Bringing the arm back and throwing the stick, though, that was going to be a challenge.

He watched the human curiously as it scampered to get something, then drew on that something with what could only be a rock, but... didn't look like a rock. And the something wasn't a stone wall, either, which threw him off for a few moments when he saw the clear marks on the white surface.

"Um..." he began. They looked like cave pictures, but not like any cave pictures Diego had ever seen before. They didn't make anything; it was just a bunch of lines. "No," he answered, an eyebrow slightly raised to add the silent 'Should I be able to?'

Oh, dear. This poor guy was doomed.

"How should I explain this?" Porky said to himself as he lowered the journal, "Alright, this is a bit of a complex idea, but I'll try my best. Okay, you know how we're talking right now? Like, with words? Well, over the course of our evolution, humanity has since developed a system called the alphabet, where every sound is represented by a certain symbol, like this one." Porky pointed to the uppercase 'C.'

"Anyway, this allows humans to communicate without speaking, which is very useful if you want to keep something secret or want to know what someone 'said' long after they've written it down. Oh, the recording of these symbols is called 'writing,' by the way. Anyway, being able to read is very important here at Landel's. One of the most important resources here is the bulletin board. It's a giant piece of paper, which is what people write on. Kind of a flat, thin...rock, I guess. Everyone writes down things on it that they think could help other patients. Sometimes other people ask questions and other people answer. Either way, it's a very useful thing, but, since you can't read, it'll be nearly worthless to you unless you can find someone who can read the notes to you."

Pictures that represented sounds? Diego had a hard time trying to wrap his mind around that one. Pictures could show ideas, yes, like the way sabers hunted. That was one of the few things humans had going for them. But the pictures of sabers looked like sabers. The curved line the human was pointing to didn't look anything like a sound.

"What does that mean, then?" he asked skeptically, indicating the words on the 'paper.' Diego doubted that the human was telling the truth. It was much more likely he was just having more fun at the saber's expense, and Diego wasn't going to take any more of that.

"This sentence means 'Can you read this?'" Porky said, pointing to each word as he said it, "I really can't stress how important being able to read is here. Like, extremely important. you'll have to learn how to read very quickly if you want to survive, much less escape here."

Oh, what to do...Porky hadn't anticipated having a roommate that couldn't read. To be honest, Porky didn't expect a roommate at all! Well, he would have to learn soon, in any event. Suddenly, an idea came to Porky. What if he were to teach his new roommate how to read and write? Not only would Porky be doing a good deed, which would help his reputation immensely, but he would also have someone in his debt!

"I know!" Porky said, "How about if I teach you how to read and write? It'll be pretty easy if you already know how to talk! All you'll have to learn is how to spell! I don't think we'll have time today, since nightshift is-"

Nightshift. How could Porky have forgotten nightshift!?

"Ah...how best to explain?" Porky muttered nervously, "Nightshift is...well...um...er..."

... Escape? It was possible to escape being dead? Not as far as Diego knew, unless the human was right and this really wasn't a death-place. But what else could it be? Diego clearly remembered dying.

Then again, if there really was a 'heaven' for sabers, Diego was pretty sure it did not involve turning into a human. And it would have a lot more easy prey.

"Nightshift?" Did he just mean at night? Diego smiled, finally feeling somewhat back in control. "Look, I may have a different body, but I still remember what happens at night. And I'm pretty sure I can still handle it." If anything, night was easier for sabers; the air was still and quiet, making it much easier to smell and hear everything going on around them.

"Oh, you have absolutely no idea what night is like here!" Porky stammered, "Oh, it's hell on earth! There are monsters everywhere and everything seems to be allied against us! Last night I saw this massive ape-beast fighting four other patients, and they just barely beat it!"

...Yeah, like this guy would believe that.

"Maybe I should phrase this differently," Porky said, "You said that you were a saber-tooth tiger originally, right? Well, night may have been all well and good for you, chowing down on all those defenseless humans and whatnot. Now, I want you to imagine what it'd be like being a human in the same situation."

Monsters? Right. There wasn't much Diego ran screaming from in the way of other animals. But, just like the human pointed out, there were probably a lot of animals who thought of sabers as monsters. Another thread of pride rose up, then died down almost instantly along with the smile.

And he was a human now.

What if he met other sabers at night, or animals like sabers? The chances of them believing he wasn't supposed to be human were close to zero. If Diego had pinned a little ground sloth and it tried to tell him it used to be a saber, he'd only laugh. And the human had just said it was close to night already.

Oh no.

Day 39: Intercom, Evening

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