damned_institute | Day 36: Intercom, Evening

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Day 36: Intercom, Evening

The intercom's jingle rang out and the somewhat uninhibited movement that was going on between the main activity rooms halted as the Head Doctor made one of his usual announcements.

"Good evening everyone, and I'm very pleased to see so many of you in such high spirits after meeting with your loved ones! However, like with all good things, it can't last forever, so I ask now for nurses to escort our patients in the waiting rooms and in the main areas back to their rooms, where they will be treated with a special Sunday... steak! That's right: today, we'll be serving juicy, delicious steak with fries and cooked vegetables on the side – simple enough for everyone to like and good enough for everyone to thoroughly enjoy! (Our patients with specialized diets will receive their alternate meals, of course.) Our usual beverages are available, and for dessert, we'll be serving warm slices of apple pie.

"After all, patients, t's always wonderful to see all of you cooperating with the staff even when given so much freedom, so I'd like to personally thank and congratulate all of you for helping us, your family, and more importantly, yourselves. Hopefully, we can help you to a speedy recovery so that you can see your loved ones more often, but first... dinner! I hope to speak with you all again soon."

The intercom clicked off.

[ All room threads go in response to this post; please post your character's room number as the subject line of the initial post. Thank you!

On an added note, just wanted to clarify to players of characters who are canonly vegetarians and the like that you get to decide (within reasonable and realistic limits) what kind of diet your character gets from the staff. :3 ]

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Soubi looked up again and the man was right in front of him. He leaned back, a little shocked. What was with people here? Were they just bored or... did some of them actually care? It was a little annoying, either way. They should mind their own business and let Soubi break in peace.

His eyes focused properly and he looked at the guy. "I'm fine," he rasped, waving a hand at him. It was clear but the bandages around his neck and the look on his face that he wasn't okay, so why would anybody ask such a question. But... if the guy was feeling friendly...

"...Don't let any nurses take me away?" he asked.

[Sorry for delay, had a medical procedure that kept me out of commission for a little bit~]

Demyx crouched down next to the guy's bed, putting him a little bit more at the other man's level. He guessed the question had been a little pointless - there was definitely no way the other guy was okay, at least not in the standard sense - but that hadn't really been what he'd meant by it. What he'd meant had been more along the lines of 'what can I do to help?'

Although, apparently, that had gotten through to his roommate anyway, since the guy made a request of him. He cocked his head. "Why would they take you away?" he asked. Still, whatever the reason, that wasn't going to change his answer, so he didn't even wait for a reply before nodding. "I won't let 'em, though. My powers don't really work right here, but I think I can still manage...well, something, anyway." He hadn't really tested the extent of his command over water, yet; even though there were pipes all over the place - he could feel the proximity of the water flowing all around them - he'd been able to sense right from the start that his control over it had weakened considerably. Even though it was right there, reaching out to it felt like calling to it over an immeasurable distance; it was like he was trying to call the ocean from the middle of a desert.

He could do it. He was pretty sure, anyway. He just wasn't sure how much he could do, or how hard it would be to do it.

All this concern. Was it really necessary? Soubi felt so weak and humiliated, but there was a fuzzy patch on his brain where the medicine was taking effect and so he just stared blankly at the floor, listening to his roommate.

Why would they take him away? Good question. Why did they do it last time? Soubi sadly out his hand to the bandages around his neck, too busy looking for the answer to respond.

"What powers do you have?" he asked, slowly looking at- "What's your name?"
Soubi needed to text his powers but he wasn't allowed to. Not tonight.

Demyx blinked. "Oh, yeah! Sorry - you can call me Demyx." He gave his roommate a grin that was ever so faintly hopeful. The guy seemed really depressed - or maybe he just wasn't feeling well. He supposed it could be either, or both. "And I can control water. I used to be able to do other things, too, but I don't think I can do that stuff at all anymore."

Soubi looked at Demyx. Unusual name for an unusual man, it seemed. He had that strange puppy-like quality that Kio did. That ever hopeful and energetic way. Soubi almost smiled, but his face had already forgotten how and it just made him dizzy.

"Water," he repeated. How useful could that be? What quantities of water could be controlled and how...? All questions he should be asking his roommate, but he was once again staring into space.

Something clicked in his brain.
"I'm Soubi." Ritsuka would be happy if Soubi made another friend, maybe. "I have to stay awake for Ritsuka," he added. Just so everyone knew and was aware. It was important.

"Yeah." Demyx nodded. "Before, I used to be able to make geysers and stuff, and blast people...the coolest thing was the water clones, though. I could - " Actually, it was kind of a difficult thing to describe, now that he was actually faced with the task of doing so. "Well, they were basically just water, but in the shape of people. They could attack for me and everything. They were the hardest things to control, though, so there's pretty much no chance I can manage them here with my powers weak." That was something he wasn't even going to bother to try. Especially not without his sitar.

"Soubi," he echoed, with a slight nod. Man, most of his friends here had such weird names they almost made his own sound normal. But that was something he was coming to actually like about the institute - he'd never felt more like he fit in with other people since he'd become a Nobody than he did here. It was kind of sad that he'd needed to be basically brought back from the dead and imprisoned in a weird asylum full of monsters to find people who'd accept him, but what could you do? "So who's Ritsuka?" he asked, as an afterthought.

Apparently there was a lot you could do with water. Soubi's eyebrows had crawled a little way up his forehead in interest.

Leaning back against the wall (and finding it was a little too far away and thus having to scoot up his bed somemore and try again), Soubi closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. And then stopped smiling. And frowned.
"I'm not sure," he admitted. "Hopefully my master." Ristuka had said that, hadn't he? That Soubi was his fighter. Even after seeinging these terrible new names....

"I don't think I should have accepted the medication," he informed his.... well... "Are you my friend now?" he asked. It was best to be sure. He wouldn't have to like the guy tomorrow, but for now Demyx could be his friend.

Edited 2008-10-29 19:25 (UTC)

Well, that was some improvement, anyway. Soubi at least didn't look like he was going to pass out anymore, or like he was wishing he would. Demyx supposed that maybe all he'd needed was a distraction from whatever it was that was bugging him - the wounds or something deeper. There was just something about the way he looked that didn't really seem to have much to do with physical pain.

He was briefly heartened ~~and he almost forgot the irony of that statement~~ by the sight of his roommate smiling, although it was unfortunately short-lived. But the question took him entirely by surprise. He'd asked to be friends with people before, but no one had ever asked him... "Sure, if you want me to be," he replied.

Soubi opened his eyes and looked at Demyx, frowning again. Well. That had thrown him off. He wasn't supposed to ask what Soubi wanted, that had nothing to do with any of this.

"It would please Ritsuka," he answered simply. Lying was too much of a hassle right now and he'd have to put up with Demyx since they were sharing a room. He might as well be honest. If Demyx couldn't handle it, fair enough. They wouldn't be friends.

Soubi smiled again. He was feeling very peculiar.
"Do you have many friends?"

"You still haven't told me who that is," Demyx replied, cocking his head. "What do you mean, your master? Are you like a slave or something? 'Cause I'd rather be your friend 'cause you want me to be, not some guy I don't even know. I mean, whoever Ritsuka is, he's not my roommate, right? You are."

That was another weird question. Soubi seemed like kind of a strange guy, although it wasn't exactly a bad kind of strange. Just - kind of weird. Like he didn't know how to talk to people normally. "Not really," he admitted. "Actually, before I got here, most of the people I called friends...well, they kind of treated me like crap. Still do, really. But we're the only ones of our kind, and nobody else in our universe liked our kind, so I was kinda stuck with them. But I've met a lot of nice people here who don't care what I am." He ran a hand through his hair. "I almost like the place for that...I guess that's kinda weird, though."

"Yes," he nodded, "a slave." And then he shook his head. "Ritsuka is important. It only matters what he wants."

Soubi didn't need friends. It wasn't his fault Kio had wheedled his way in. Or.... or that Soubi sort of missed Yuiko. They were supposed to mean nothing and he was certain they wouldn't get in the way of Soubi and his Master. Whoever it was supposed to be. No, no, no. It was supposed to be Ritsuka and it WAS. For however long Soubi was needed.

Wasn't it strange. Soubi had been rather unique back home. But here...so many people seemed to have something in common with him. Nobody liked Soubi at school, but he didn't care. He kept his head down and did his work.

"If you let them, it's your own fault," he pointed out. "You should have become stronger and destroyed them." Wise words, from such a doormat. And a heartless one at that. He'd crave sympathy in his own way, but was rarely one to give it. Only if a situation called for such a thing. He was sympathetic towards Yuiko, but they had a common interest.

"What are you?" he asked. It wasn't weird to want this place. For a short while, Soubi had been glad for it, it kept them away from the painful truth back home. But now this place was just as terrible.

Demyx frowned. That didn't sound right...but then again, this guy sounded so convinced of what he was saying that he wasn't sure he'd take any arguments from Demyx too well. He wasn't sure who this Ritsuka was still, but he wasn't sure he liked him. "Well, what you want matters to me," was all he said. "You're my roommate. And you seem like a nice guy."

At Soubi's rather matter-of-fact statement that Demyx should have destroyed Xigbar and the others rather than let them mistreat him, his eyes widened slightly. "I couldn't have done that," he said, appalled. "I mean...they're jerks, yeah, but most of the stuff they did to me wasn't worth killing them for." Something inside him squirmed uncomfortably at the fact, which he was well aware of, that what they'd done to other people might well have been worth killing them for...but there was an even more important reason why he'd never entertained the idea of killing them, or even leaving them. "Besides...like I said, they were the only ones besides me. Without them - I'd've been alone." And man, that was a depressing thought - one he couldn't even entertain for very long. To be the only Nobody in the universe...even Xemnas had the company of II through VI when he'd first became a Nobody.

No one should ever have to be that alone.

Man, he'd sure been explaining his nature a lot, recently. Maybe he ought to make a sign and hang it around his neck to save him some exposition time. While he definitely didn't like what the worlds he'd been familiar with thought about Nobodies, at least people had known what they were right off the bat - a Nobody's nature was pretty complicated to have to describe on a regular basis, and he definitely wasn't the best person for the job. "I'm a Nobody," he replied. "We have these creatures called Heartless in my universe; they steal people's hearts. For most people, losing their hearts means that they just...die. Well, not die, exactly, but they become Heartless themselves, so everything that used to be them dies. Nobodies are special, though. If a person with a strong enough will loses their hearts, sometimes their body survives as an empty shell - that's a Nobody. The really strong ones keep on looking human, even, and remember that they used to be human - that's me and the rest of my Organization. The people who didn't treat me that well," he clarified, after a pause. "There were only thirteen of us in the whole universe. I'm the ninth." He ran a hand through his hair. "And honestly, even I'm not sure what's so strong about me that I became a Nobody - but that's what I am." He tapped his chest. "Basically, we're people without hearts. I don't even have a heartbeat." Not that he honestly expected Soubi to check - he didn't seem the tactile type; he was certainly keeping distance between himself and Demyx - but it was the most easily verifiable way to prove what was a pretty outlandish story.

"Then let's be friends." It would be too troublesome to share his room with an enemy and if Ritsuka was happy...Soubi would be happy too. And then this guy would be happy for some reason and, while it wasn't important, that would be good. Soubi was sure of it. But he wasn't going to play games to try and keep this person happy.

"You could crush their spirits. Take control. Bring them down," he said. He'd do and take anything just for somebody to love him. But Demyx was different. Soubi's ~~struggle~~ way of life was noble. He was at least dedicating himself to somebody.

He looked at Demyx, too out of it to hide the sadness on his face. Loneliness was an awful fate. He just hoped it wasn't the one he was condemned to now.

He listened to Demyx's origins, fascinated. There wasn't room for doubt in his mind at the minute and so he believed every word. And it sounded beautiful. Such a display of strength. Demyx was strong. Perhaps Soubi shouldn't think him so weak. He did the unexpected (even of himself) and reached out, putting a hand to where the man's heart should be. Slowly, he pushed himself from the bed, sat on the floor in front of Demyx, hand still in place. And he smiled.

"I think I'd prefer to have no heart." His will was strong enough to survive without one and he'd become so much stronger still. Ritsu and Seimei would want him back. Ritsuka would see his true power.

Kio and Yuiko would be lost, but that didn't matter. Not if he belonged somewhere.

Demyx grinned at Soubi. He wasn't really sure what the man's reasons were for wanting that, but so long as he did, he was happy. He just hoped Soubi could be happy about it, too, although he was starting to get the impression that his roommate wasn't really a happy guy by nature.

He couldn't help frowning at Soubi's suggestion for the Organization. "I guess I could've," he said dubiously. "Maybe. But why? I don't really like controlling people. Besides, I guess someone who was in control of other people - they ought to know what's best for the people they're in charge of, right? I'm not that smart."

He almost recoiled - mostly in surprise - when Soubi reached to rest a hand on his chest, but stopped himself and stayed still as his roommate felt for a heartbeat that wasn't there. He'd never really understood how their bodies worked without hearts - and none of the Nobodies of the Organization had ever really tried to find out; it was unknown anatomical territory and even Vexen wasn't the type to pry there when there were so few of them if something went wrong - so he couldn't say how he functioned without it, but he knew the heart wasn't there. Aside from his breathing, and perhaps the occasional twitch of muscle, Soubi wouldn't feel anything at all.

He watched his roommate closely, eyes taking on a more observant look as Soubi smiled. Yeah, he was starting to get a feel for the guy now...on some level he must be really unhappy. Only unhappy people could think not having a heart was a good thing. "No, you wouldn't," he said quietly. "If you're sad or lonely or unhappy, it sounds like a great thing to not have a heart to hurt, to not be able to feel those things anymore. I'll never really be unhappy again, I guess, even if I pretend to be 'cause it makes me seem more normal. But I'll never be happy, either. And even if we can't feel anything else - we always feel hollow. Like there's always something missing that we can never get back. Some of the Nobodies - the first six of us - they kind of chose to give their hearts to the darkness. They were scientists and it was part of their experiment. But the rest of us...we didn't get a choice. It's not one anybody would make. Even the ones who chose to become Nobodies want to go back to the way they were before; that's what our Organization is for. We want to have our hearts back." He paused. "I died before that could happen, I think. If you can call it dying when we weren't really, you know, alive. I guess they brought me back so I could be here, but I don't think I'll be able to get my heart back in here, so it doesn't make much difference."

Soubi was smart. He was just never taught a great deal about independence or what he ought to do with emotions. He didn't want control anyway. He wanted simplicity and that would only come with a master.

Soubi still didn't remove his hand. It was too strange to feel a real person but no heartbeat. It was strange to be this close to a stranger at all really. Dammit, Soubi only needed one person to depend on. He withdrew his hand and hugged his knees.

"I only ever felt pain for a very long time," he told Demyx, factually. Sometimes Ritsu was 'nice', but even that was a tainted affair. "I don't mind losing my humanity again."

"You'll get your heart, Tinman," he sighed. "And you'll hate them for it. This place will ruin every last soul in it's possession."

Demyx shifted so that he was sitting cross-legged on the floor across from Soubi, watching the other man. "Yeah," he said, somewhat sadly. "You seem like you used to be really unhappy. Or still are, maybe; you're pretty hard to read, y'know." He tilted his head. "Is it 'cause you're a slave, or because of something else? I'll help you, if I can. I mean, you have a heart. What good is one if you can't feel good things with it?" He waved a hand. "Besides, you're my roommate. And my friend. I don't need a heart to know that you're supposed to help your friends if they're unhappy - and it's been awhile, but I still have a pretty good idea how to make a heart happy." He sighed. "The other Nobodies mostly just remember how to make a heart hurt. What good is that? Everybody knows that stuff. It's nothing special, and it doesn't help anyone. All it does is help make more of us, and if even we don't want to be us..."

He wasn't quite sure what sort of reference Soubi was making with the whole Tinman thing, but he knew one thing for sure. "No way," he declared, shaking his head. "That's why I still try to act like I have a heart. I want to be the same when I get my heart back as I was when I lost it. I'm not gonna get it back just so I can feel regret. That'd be kind of a crappy way to welcome my heart back, right? I want the first thing I feel to be happiness."

Soubi smiled a little again, but it was a kinder smile this time. He reached out and awkwardly ruffled the man's hair. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Kio usually liked it when they were drunk, anyway. It was about the only time Soubi willingly touched him in a friendly manner.

"I never used to feel anything much." He had his heart broken. He experienced pride and a dissapointment. But nothing much else.

"You don't get much of a choice with this place. They'll do what they want."

Demyx was surprised yet again; he'd been pretty sure that Soubi wasn't the tactile type, yet this was the second time his roommate had touched him without any prompting. But he couldn't help grinning, slightly sheepish and happy ~~or so he told himself~~ at the same time. It was nice - Soubi was nice, as he'd originally suspected - and what was more, Soubi was smiling. Things definitely weren't perfect for either of them, but for the moment they were looking up.

"Well, that's the good thing about still having a heart." Demyx grinned and, deciding that since Soubi had set the precedent it was probably okay, stretched out a hand to tap a finger over the spot he guessed his roommate's heart to be. "You don't have to dwell on what you used to feel. You can look forward to what you're gonna feel in the future. So all we have to do is make sure you have good feelings from now on, right?"

He grimaced at the mention of the institute. He'd been so caught up in the conversation that he'd almost forgotten where they were for a minute. "Yeah, I guess so...but even Nobodies can still make choices. It's one of the few things we've still got. So I'm not gonna let this place do whatever the hell it likes with me, that's for sure." He grinned at Soubi again. "So c'mon, don't be so fatalistic. What good's that ever done anybody? Hell, if I were fatalistic - well, I'd be a Heartless, and we'd never have met. You might have a roommate who...I don't know, snores or something."

Demyx was going to face a sober Soubi one day. The outcome of which could be unpredictable. For now, things were going surprisingly well. Soubi was still partially aware of that too but it only seemed to amuse him. Maybe, if things went well, he could be nice to this young man. His fellow, here. Not this nice but still...nice enough. He certainly wasn't going to reveal so much. But he couldn't stop himself lately. There was nobody here to listen to him or give him sturdy advice.

He almost shriveled up when Demyx touched him. He certainly tensed, but it was only a brief action. A mere flinch. "It's not that easy," he said. He couldn't feel as much pain now, but he knew the neck wounds were reopening. And they would do so for a long time, according to experience. "Today was terrible. I made...mistakes. Ritsuka will be unhappy." He placed his hand over his heart, wishing it was gone already. It only served to confuse things. But he liked the thought of following good feelings.

He smiled again as Demyx went on. The guy might be a fool but, again, he had that Kio-esque quality. There was something that was almost comforting in his foolishness. Nobody could fight this place. Pun not intended. But let the man believe everything would be ok.

"That would be bad," he agreed. "Forgive me if I snore or talk in my sleep. Though I've only ever been accused of the latter..." He still didn't believe it was true, and he was most likely drunk or in some other sort of delirious state for it to occur.

"Everybody makes mistakes," Demyx replied. If Ritsuka punished Soubi for mistakes, then Demyx was definitely liking him less and less by the minute. Maybe he could find him and talk to him...although he suspected that mentioning that to Soubi would be a really bad idea, so it kept it to himself. "He'll forgive you. Hell, even my superiors in the Organization gave me the chance to make up for my mistakes, and they're literally heartless. How much worse could your master be than them?"

He couldn't help grinning when Soubi preemptively apologized for talking in his sleep. "Yeah, well, I don't think either of us need to worry," he observed. "It seems like not a lot of sleeping gets done in our rooms anyway, right? It'll probably never come up. And even if it does, I won't mind; Nobodies don't really need sleep anyway."

"Therein lies the problem," Soubi sighed, cuddling his knees and resting his head again. "He'll forgive me. Just like that. It will be undeserved. It will lack meaning unless I am punished." What if Ritsuka didn't forgive him? He wouldn't punish him either. There'd be nothing. He glared at Demyx a little. "There's nothing bad about Ritsuka," he warned. Ritsuka was perfect. It was Soubi that was wrong.

"I don't think I'd enjoy a sleepless life," Soubi said. "WHat do you do instead?"

"Hey, I wasn't saying - " Demyx waved his hands in a negating gesture. "I just meant if people who are literally heartless let mistakes slide, of course your master would, too." Well, that was something to keep in mind...regardless of what he thought of Soubi's master, expressing disapproval would be a bad idea. "And why do you need to be punished? Mistakes are - well, accidents. They're nobody's fault. If he's not punishing you, doesn't that mean you didn't do anything wrong?" It was a little confusing; if even Ritsuka wouldn't punish Soubi for messing up, why did Soubi feel he deserved punishment?

Yeah, Demyx really needed to talk to this Ritsuka person. He was beginning to think there was way too much about Soubi he didn't understand, and if nothing else, maybe Ritsuka could answer the questions he was a little wary of asking his roommate directly.

The question about what he did instead of sleep was a pretty good one, and Demyx ran a hand through his hair as he thought it over. "Lots of things," he mused. "Mostly, I played music - that was before this place took away my sitar. I practiced with my water manipulation - I was one of the best at controlling my element," he added, with a bit of justifiable pride. He'd been able to fine-tune his control over water to a degree none of the others in the Organization had ever been able to match; the precision required to create and command multiple water clones was beyond anything the other members had ever approached. It was, perhaps, the one area Demyx had excelled in. "Sometimes I'd just think. Honestly, there wasn't much to do in the castle, and most of the other members didn't have time for me, so..."

Nobody understood. Only Ritsu, the real one, and Seimei. And that was why they still had control, even now. Soubi was gripped by fear and love. With Ritsuka...there was only love. And love made room for mistakes, disobedience and jealousy. And failure to punish stopped the world from turning. How could he be forgiven if he had not paid his penance?

"It's just the way things work."

Perhaps never sleeping wasn't so bad either. "You play the sitar?" he asked, curiosity sparked. He'd met a writer this morning, he hiself was a painter and now there was the musician. The full trinity of that arts. You know...the worthier ones. Above dance and dramatics. The core arts. The primary colours in the great painting that was beauty and whatnot.

"You were lonely?" he asked. He already knew the answer, but still. Perhaps Soubi hadn't been as lonely as he'd assumed. He'd at least had his teacher. And then a master. A friend. Ristuka. "I think I'm sorry that you were lonely, but I'm not myself this evening," he continued, drowsily.

"Man, no wonder you're not happy." Demyx chewed his lower lip. "You think you need to be punished even when you don't do anything wrong." After a pause, he decided to attempt what was - for him - a shrewd psychological maneuver. "So are you saying your master's wrong for forgiving you?"

He all but swelled with pride at the interest in his sitar. "Yeah! I mean, I used to...but they took it." His good mood deflated as quickly as it had come, and he sighed. "I spent most of my life - human and Nobody - with an instrument in my hands. It feels wrong not to have music with me anymore." Well, he hadn't lost his music entirely - it was all still in his head - but it just wasn't the same as being able to play it, being able to hear it.

"I wasn't lonely at first," he admitted. "I had a couple friends - one was the guy who was recruited right before me, and the other was a kid who was our last recruit. But...well, they were better friends with each other than they were with me. The kid left after a little while, and when he did, my other friend left to look for him, so...yeah, after that, I was pretty much alone. None of the others ever really thought much of me." After a pause, he murmured, "I would've gone with them, if they'd asked me."

Thinking he knew how he felt was not at all a foreign concept to Demyx, so he scarcely questioned it when Soubi mentioned it. But the guy looked like he was going to pass out soon. "Maybe you should sleep," he offered.

"Of course not. But I have been making a lot of mistakes." Admittedly Ritsuka didn't always see them as such, but still. He made Ritsuka angry and unhappy and... it could so easily be stopped. If only...

Soubi shook his head. "He's still learning. He...doesn't understand." Soubi had tried to persuade the boy that punishment was a good thing, even pleasurable. He'd let Kio whine on about Seimei. He'd tried everything but a direct approach to explaining things to Ritsuka.

"They have a music room," Soubi suggested, almost eagerly. He hadn't visited it himself and doubted there'd be a Sitar of all things, but perhaps there was something close enough?

Such a poor lonely soul. Soubi's sad expression returned. He knew that feeling. That sudden shock of loneliness having been abandoned. That willingness to follow, to do ANYTHING to just... be with that person.

"Perhaps somebody better will come along..."

Soubi shook his head. "Ritsuka is coming. I must stay awake. But I...took my medication as he'd ordered." Despite his fear that he'd wake up on the Doctor's table again, or that something terrible would happen to Ritsuka. But he'd been almost passing out from pain beforehand. Now it was the drugs and willpower that kept him going. It just couldn't stop his mind from sliding about...

Day 36: Intercom, Evening

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