damned_institute | Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

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Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

Okita hadn't been expecting it when his nurse suddenly appeared in the Game Room. He'd expected to be left alone like last week, but instead she gently took him by the arm and told him he needed to say goodbye to Kaden for now. Okita assumed it was time for his visitor and waved goodbye to him, only to be led off himself. The swordsman had followed obediently into the Sun Room, but when he tried to go off to another room, she stopped him. "Not today, Julian."

Not today? Something about his nurse's demeanor seemed off, almost as if she were worried about something. It wasn't until she led him out of the Sun Room that he understood what was going on. He had a visitor. There were only so many people that would come to visit him in a place like this. His sisters, Tetsu, Kondou or... Okita didn't want to think about the last option.

Taking a step into the waiting room, he stopped at the door and turned to look at his nurse. "Are you sure you're not mistaken?" he asked, feeling actual fear for the first time in a long while. If this wasn't some strange punishment/joke for behaving poorly in the chapel, he didn't know what to do. Badou's graffiti was still on his hand and he quickly slipped that hand into his pocket. He could feel the pen there, clipped to the inside of his waistband. The nurse shook her head and moved to the side of the room, keeping a close watch on him as he stayed by the door, trying to hide his anxiety by feigning interest in the strange magazines on a table nearby.

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That cold feeling inside of her grew. "About this place," she answered, forgetting to be watchful. "About what's happened." Her voice lowered a fraction, her mind more on personal matters than the Institute. "About... ways to exist together."

Damn her. She couldn't focus. Renamon had found a sort of balance the past few days, but Rika showing up had thrown that. Renamon wasn't quite sure what to think. She wasn't sure if this was real. There were only so many ways to test that, and.... "Are you still the Digimon Queen, Rika?"

About this place? Were they not answering all the patients' questions or something? Because if they weren't, the staff were going to hear about it for sure once this visit was over. And as for ways to exist together -- Rika wasn't really sure what that even meant, but if Reiko didn't even know much about the institute she was in, it was totally possible that she was confused.

"I'm sure you already know it's a mental hospital," she said, confident that Reiko was smart enough to know that. "It's supposed to be one of the best ones in the States, but I guess they're not good enough to tell you what they do. Don't worry, I'll -- "

And she'd meant to say make sure the info gets to you, but then Reiko said something else that gave her pause.

"The Digimon Queen?" Rika asked, frowning. Digimon ... oh, right, that card game. It had been popular for a while in Japan, sure, but they'd stopped being really into it ages ago. "What are you talking about?"

It was like Renamon shut down as she tried to rationalize. She froze, the cold feeling taking over everything inside of her. She would have liked to say that she was busy thinking, figuring out what was going on, but instead there was nothing but a constant drone of Rika's name inside her head. This was Rika. This was not Rika. Her mannerisms, her voice, her... self. It was Rika. It was not Rika. Rika wouldn't tell her she was in 'one of the best' mental hospitals. Rika wouldn't ask her what she was talking about what Renamon was talking about their... their life.

Renamon took a shuddering breath and reached out again, an awkward quick motion that seemed inhuman for a second. Both of Renamon's hands grabbed one of Rika's; folded around hers like a devotee in prayer. Her voice still was calm when it came, though her eyes were fixed in a silent, desperate plea. "Rika...."

She trailed off for a moment. She couldn't think of any clever phrases that would only mean something to them; any hidden secrets that would mean something. The past couple days, this place, this....

Blunt was always better, humans were the ones that had to word things in fancy manners. And then she would know. She would know.

"Rika. I'm a Digimon." Renamon hoped with everything she had for a smack on the arm and Rika calling her an idiot or dummy, that of course she knew that.

Of course she knew her.

Reiko looked stricken for a moment and Rika gave her a look that was outright worried before glancing around for a nurse. Was she supposed to have this effect? Could it possibly good for a patient to look like that? None of the nurses around seemed to be watching very closely; what kind of mental hospital was this anyway?

When the other girl took her hand Rika started. Reiko looked calmer, but there was a pleading in her eyes that wrenched the heart.

Reiko was speaking: she was ...

She was a what? Rika gave her a completely blank look, unable to think of a response for a second. Was this supposed to be some kind of joke? Or was this what she'd been told about Reiko's 'delusions'? But this was ... this was just weird.

"You're a human," Rika said slowly, frowning and trying not to give away how concerned she was. How had Reiko ended up like this? "A human, Reiko. You've always been one. Don't you remember?"

Nothing changed on Renamon's face; she was still as unemotional as ever, the only emotions showing in her eyes--still the silent desperation, but a surety as well. She was swallowing the rest. "Renamon, Rika. My name is Renamon.

"But you know all this."

Renamon? What the heck was -- oh, the Digimon -- Rika did remember the name, but she remembered it from neat characters on a card from a children's card game. And definitely not as the name of her best friend.

"I don't know this," Rika said, trying not to let the worry and the frustration slip into her voice. Was it possible that Reiko didn't even remember her for who she was? "Your name's Reiko. Renamon's just a character from that TV show."

The cold feeling washed over her with a sharp bite to it. Renamon's hands broke from Rika's to lightly hit the table on either side, grabbing the edges. "You're a character as well, then. Rika Nonaka is partnered to Renamon in the show." No, no, this wasn't how she wanted it to go. It wouldn't let any understanding come through if everything was laced with anger. But anger was such an easy outlet for pain, easier than the other option.

"You know me," she shot out, then spoke quieter. "You know me. Why can't you remember, Rika? Did something..." Her eyes widened, teal eyes became brighter. "Did they do something to you?"

Reiko pulled her hands away sharply and Rika was almost surprised enough to show a bit of the hurt in her expression. Not that it mattered that much, it was just a stupid gesture, but for Reiko to pull away that quickly --

And to say those weird things while she was at it? "I'm not --" Rika started, frowning. It was true that she happened to share a first name, but to say she was a character? "I'm not some character, Reiko, I'm your friend! Your human friend, just like you're my human friend!"

It was as hard to say as ever, but the frustration forced it out, Rika's eyes wide and caught in an anger that hid pleading. "Shouldn't you be asking if someone did something to you?!" Rika demanded. "How did you forget everything only to make up stuff like this?"

The hurt expression killed something inside of Renamon. She had swore she would never cause Rika pain again. But this was... this was insane! "Someone did do something to me, Rika!" She abruptly stood, then stayed there, still; arms spread. "Look at what they've turned me into."

The human emotions were rising up again, and quickly, stronger than with Yukari or Orihime. If she didn't keep herself calm, control them... she didn't know what she would do. She stood there for a moment, eyes closed, trying to think of something, of some way to get through to her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Perhaps I'm going about this in the wrong way." She opened her eyes, though she stayed where she was for the time being. "Can't you even consider the possibility that I'm right? That what I'm saying is true?" The human emotions weren't pushed down, and her normal bland tone had taken on a degree of pleading.

Renamon couldn't... if they had gotten to Rika... if....

"What they've turned you into?" Rika asked, still wide-eyed, still glaring a little in confusion. "You look exactly the same as you always have!"

The possibility that Reiko was right was ridiculous. Rika wasn't the one in a mental institution, for heaven's sake! But even though the other girl was trying to hide it, Rika knew Reiko well enough to recognise when she was desperate. Still ...

"You're not," she said, trying to make Reiko understand. "You have have to forget these weird ideas that you're ... you're a Digimon or something, and that I'm some TV character." Then, angrily, to hide the genuine hurt: "How could you forget who I am, Reiko?!"

"How could you forget who you are," she stated blandly, quietly; detaching herself.

Renamon had nothing more to say. She knew Rika well enough to know that once the girl thought she was right she wouldn't see another way unless she was shown. And there was nothing here, nothing in this place that would show this memoryless... this changed--and here was the anger and watch it burn, for how dare they touch her--this changed Rika the truth.

Once again, once more, there was nothing Renamon could do.

She had failed.

It took everything she had left to turn away from Rika, to turn from her hope incarnate, the only thing she had faith in, but she forced herself to do it anyway. "I asked you once if you trusted me, Rika. It seems your answer has changed." Her voice cracked on the last word, causing a new flood of anger to flow through her. She stood silently, willing herself to move, to walk away. Every ounce of her replied no. She couldn't just walk away from Rika. Her hands clenched into fists and she shook--from the effort or the pain, she couldn't tell at this point.

There was nothing she could do more, except... "I'm sorry I failed you, Rika. I..." There weren't words to express what she meant correctly. "...I love you."

"How could I forget who I am?" Rika half-shouted, hands balling into fists. "How could you forget who I am? After all this time and all the things we went through together?"

The girl was unabashedly emotional by now, tough exterior punctured by the reality of how much her friend had forgotten and how much she'd simply made up. Part of it was anger that Reiko could possibly forget everything, part of it was undoubtedly concern, and part of it was disappointment. She wasn't sure what she'd hoped to achieve by coming here, but ...

But then Reiko turned away and Rika's jaw dropped, unexpected tears stinging behind her wide eyes. All the time they'd known each other and Reiko was turning away?

"Of course I trust you!" She shouted, voice breaking before she could help herself. Gritting her teeth, she glared in another direction, fists clenched tightly as she tried to fight down her stupid tears. "But you've forgotten everything! Why don't you trust me, huh? What I'm telling you is the truth!"

Flinging angry words like weapons, Rika's voice wavered despite the anger in it: "If you really loved me, you'd never have forgotten!"

Every sentence was an arrow to the heart, and Renamon's chest tightened painfully. Bringing a hand up to press against it, she focused on breathing; a simple thing. Breathe in, four counts... and out, four counts. Find your focus. Accept all of the pain and move with it.

Except she couldn't move.

She stayed where she was, and turned her head to look over her shoulder, eyes full of a sorrow she would never be able to show anyone else. She said nothing, merely looked at Rika for a few minutes.

Renamon shiftly slightly, still looking at Rika, but eying the nurses as well. "If you keep yelling, there'll be trouble."

Knowing that statement would probably only make the girl more mad and end this visit early, she came to a decision in her head. She stopped fighting herself, and did a quick turn, dropping to kneel on one leg facing Rika, head bowed. She spoke quickly and quietly. "Don't think for a second that I've forgotten you. Things are complicated right now, and whichever one of us is right doesn't matter, because I still know you, Rika. I could tell you your habits and mannerisms; define how you're feeling by which smirk you wear. I've known you in our past, and when all this is over, I swear that I will come find you and stay with you, and I'll learn even more about you." She raised her head to turn bright eyes to Rika. "So don't doubt me. No matter what happens we still carry each other in our hearts."

The look on Reiko's face hurt -- too much for Rika to be anything but more angry, brow furrowed even more deeply, hands clenching more tightly. What the girl finally said in response made her even angrier: did Reiko think she was going to tell Rika what to do?

After forgetting who they even were?

Rika was about to shout something else when Reiko turned around again and surprised her by dropping onto one knee. The words made Rika's frown soften slightly, replaced by a more genuine pain.

"... I know you, too," she said softly, finally. She wanted badly to hug Reiko, almost did, but instead hugged her arms to herself, tense. Things were too weird to complicate further. "I know you," she said again, more confidently. "I know you'll come back to me. I'm sure of it."

She paused again, and then abruptly, voice somewhere between imperious and pleading: "You'd better!"

The nurses were taking a more active role now, escorting patients and visitors alike to the door. She almost wanted to fight them here and now; take Rika and leave, but she knew there were some things at this current point that she couldn't fight.

So she would wait, and learn, and then find Rika, and make her see.

"I will, Rika. You're the first thing on my mind." She stood from her position, thinking of something else to say when Rika spoke again. Renamon smirked. "Of course I will." She softened it into a genuine smile. "I'll always come for you. Don't forget me."

Renamon was never one for goodbyes. With that said, she moved her hand in what could be interpheted as a wave, and walked towards the incoming nurse. This time she wasn't walking away from Rika. She was walking towards her. The only way to her, to the real Rika and the real Renamon, was in this place, and Renamon would find it.

Because Rika was waiting for her.

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Day 36: Waiting Room/Lobby 2

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