damned_institute | Day 21: Lunch

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Day 21: Lunch

Hikaru and Kaoru had been so caught up in their little game that they initially hadn't heard the intercom go off. The new "ding" system was far less jarring than the old SCREECH, and as such, wasn't as easily heard, even in a place as quiet as the library. All too soon, the nurses came to separate the twins and take them to the next activity--lunch.

It only felt like a few minutes since breakfast, somehow, and yet Hikaru was starved. The lunch selection was ridiculously Americanized food of the "Pan Asian" genre, as bad as when his family had wanted Japanese food in California and had gone to the "nicest" restaurant in the English language guidebook. He cringed visibly when the surly cafeteria worker poured sauce on his rice--which was supposed to be plain--but...food was food, and he wasn't feeling terribly picky right now. At least it smelled all right.

One of the good things about being the first one into the cafeteria was having his pick of the tables. Hikaru chose one of the larger ones, saving seats for Kaoru, Tamaki, and (in a fit of hopefulness) Haruhi.

He hoped they'd come soon. He hated being alone.

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"Oh no! I didn't mean ignore the clues!" Tamaki was quick to correct that idea. "But if we can find more than just what we get clues for, or if we notice something odd or strange... well, who knows. Things could be hidden everywhere!" He thought it made sense, anyway. That was how his logic works. "And if we need things for healing, well, there should be a pharmacy here. They should have all kinds of things." Hospitals had pharmacies, after all.

"Oh, well, it's... it's not a big problem. Or maybe it is..." Tamaki was used to helping other people with love problems. He wasn't supposed to have any himself! It wasn't fair! He sighed heavily and slumped down in his chair. "It's horrible! I'm such a failure... Haruhi still calls me Sempai and Elena kissed me and all Hikaru and Kaoru can do is tease me and I don't know what to do!"

The sad thing was that what Tamaki said actually did make some sense. Or at much sense as anything could, in the institute they found themselves in. "Perhaps... yes, if there is something unusual, it would be best to investigate. The truth could not possibly be hidden in plain sight; therefore, even the slightest clue should be followed. And if one such happens to be offered, then that too should be explored."

He frowned slightly as he heard Tamaki talking about the pharmacy, remembering what Alex had told him so long ago. "It is possible that we could get something from their stores, but from what I've been lead to believe they will be just as intensely guarded as what I found. In that case, it would be imperative for only those with a great deal of strength to go." Adelheid emphasized this as he looked at Suou; while he had no doubt the boy had a great deal of spirit, his body could not handle the worst that the institute had to offer.

This suspicion was confirmed when Tamaki slumped over and started bewailing his fate, making Adelheid blink in absolute, total confusion. What could one say to all of that? The tallest boy didn't even know what was going on, to say nothing of how he was supposed to respond.

Red eyes focused on Edward, confusion written clearly on Adel's fair face. Either a 'Is this person serious?' or a 'Do you have any idea what to say?' would be a correct interpretation.

That was a shame, but it made sense that the most useful places would be the best guarded. And to most people he was sure the pharmacy would be far more obviously useful than the cafeteria, after all, if they didn't have alchemists, most of the metal there would be useless. It was rather difficult to kill things with a spoon.

And then Tamaki was talking a mile a second and Ed could just stare in bemusement and return Adelheid's look with a helpless one of his own.

Finaly, when Tamaki had finished and Ed had sorted out what he'd actually been talking about, Ed answered. "You kissed a girl? Seriously?" His eyes were wide, half with respect and half with disbelief. He was sixteen, but he'd been so focussed on his goal that he'd never quite got past the mentality that girls had germs or something that they passed on if you kissed them. Hell, Al had probably been more mature in that respect than Ed (he was more mature than Ed in a lot of respects, but like Ed would ever admit that). Women, in Ed's mind, were either ladies to be respected like Lieutenant Hawkeye, mother figures like Sensei and Maria Ross, or girls to be teased like Winry because that's what girls were there for. And possibly psychopathic alchemists who wanted to try and kill him like Dante... and possibly sensei again.

Tamaki took Adelheid's look of horror and confusion as shock at the situation. Something he could greatly appreciate. He nodded when Ed prompted him for proof of his romantic adventures.

"She kissed me!" he explained, sighing. "I was playing Host to her, and I had her hand in mine and I looked up and she leaned down and then her mouth was on mine and I froze and we just.... sat there. Like that! It's never happened before! I didn't expect her to do it! I hold court to girls all the time but there's never any kissing! And my friends saw and they're probably going to tell Haruhi but Haruhi doesn't even like me like that! And Elena's very nice and very smart and very pretty.... I just don't know what to do."

Alright, so some things could spoil his mood after all.

Whereas, for Adelheid? Women were a scary, scary proposition. Either they were family to be protected, like his sister; insane maniacs who would likely kill him someday- every female in his family fell under this category; or obsessive romantics who would chase after a man for over a decade even though the man did not necessarily share their feelings- again, most of his family fell under this category as well.

So Adelheid was not the best person to ask for advice about such things. He'd never quite felt this out of his depth before, but romance? Ah hah, so not what the Bernstein family was about.

"Er, well... I suppose it depends on who's feeling what to whom." He ran his hand through his hair, trying to sort through the muddled mess as best he could. "Kisses don't always equate to romantic feelings, just as playing Host doesn't. If it comes down to it, you could simply explain the situation to Haruhi?"

Returning to Sky-Noah and forgetting his time at Landels was sounding ever a more attractive option. At least things were more dignified that way.

Ed stared in confusion. Hosting? Holding Court? They might as well have been entirely foreign words for all the sense they made to Ed. Finally deciding that he'd be no help at all if these things weren't explained, and figuring that it wasn't some stupid question like what the atomic number of carbon was, he forced himself to swallow his pride and ask. "What's 'playing host'?"

He sat quietly while Adel gave some fairly sound advice as far as Ed could see. Honestly, the only advice Ed could think up went along the lines of 'make sure they don't have wrenches' or 'check that they aren't four hundred year old ex-girlfriends of your father who've just switched their soul into a new body'. He didn't think that it applied to this situation though.

"She kissed me!" Tamaki wailed. "You don't just kiss people unless you like them like that! And I... I... sort of pledged myself as Elena's knight! I didn't mean to, it just happened so fast..." He sighed again, and then moved on to an explanation.

"Playing host is something certain young men of my class and breeding do with certain young women of the same class and breeding. It's a sort of mock courting - playing suitor but not with any intentions. There's nothing physical involved!" He was very, very quick to explain that. "And... Haruhi's technically a Host, too, but it's different and.... I wouldn't know what to say to her! What if she hates me?"

"...if that's what those of your stature and ancestry do, no wonder my family insisted I not get involved." Adelheid took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair and just... shocked, more than anything else. It was a recipe for disaster, and in this case, having a very vocal sister might help. A little. He hoped.

"From what I have been lead to believe... girls believe in form over fact more quickly than we do. It may be possible that that she doesn't know that there aren't any feelings. Especially," he added with a bit of warning, "since you pledged to protect her, as her knight. Or have you forgotten that the knight in shining armor is a common romantic image?"

"The important thing is to get this situation sorted out as quickly as possible. And pray, for your sake, that she hasn't already made plans for the future." Adelheid leaned in here, face deadly serious. In his world, even the slightest vow between a man and a woman could lead to romantic entanglements. And usually, those entanglements were all one way. "Otherwise, your fate is sealed, and the sooner you accept this the sooner you can begin making the most of it."

In Adelheid's opinion? Women were very, very scary. In many regards, more scary than the monsters which wandered the hallways.

Ed felt sort of bad for Tamaki. He seemed really worried about the whole thing and he was a... a friend and Ed thought that it was the kind of thing friends were supposed to help with. It would have been fine if it had been a question about alchemy or books or food. He knew about those. But girls?

He made a sympathetic noise and just went along with the obvious. "Well, if you're a knight," he began, dredgin up everything he could remember from the story books his mother had read to him as a child, "then you could claim it interfered with your eh... knightly duties or something, right?" That sounded sort of maybe convincing. Didn't it?

And then Tamaki launched into his explanation of hosting and Ed was baffled for the millionth time in the same conversation. He didn't think he'd ever been so out of his depth.

"So, let me see if this is right," he ventured after thinking a moment. "You pretend to be in love with a girl and you do this for fun?!" It made no sense! From everything he'd heard, being interested in women just led to messiness and spending a lot of money on flowers that died anyway. "But... but... girls are weird!" he said earnestly. "They get mad at you for things you don't even know you've done and then next thing you know, they're trying to whack you with a wrench!" At least that's what happened in his experience. Winry got angry about the oddest things.

"Oh, that's what everyone's been saying! My fate is sealed! And of course knights are romantic! That's the point!" Tamaki wailed. His fate was sealed. He had to do the right thing and marry Elena. But he was too young for marriage! Then he remembered that he'd been engaged three days ago.

"I just broke off an engagement a few days ago," he said, with another long suffering sigh. "And we don't pretend to be in love, just to romance them. It's very fun. Girls are wonderful! Every one of them! There's nothing more amazing or beautiful or worth living for in this world than a lady...." This time, Tamaki's sigh was wistful.

"Girls shouldn't hit you unless you've done something very wrong," he pointed out, seriously. Or serious for Tamaki.

Okay, this was going from strange to out-right bizarre. Romance without love? A romantic in Landels?

Unfortunately, it was the last comment, and the sheer seriousness with which it was said, that finally broke what control Adelheid had. It was either laugh or have his brain break, and the sheer ridiculousness of the statement tickled Adel's humor.

Therefore, he laughed, laughed until he had to rest his forehead against the back of his hand, his entire body shaking with laughter. "What..." It took a great deal of effort for Adel to get the words out, his red eyes shining with his amusement and his breath catching, "...what kind of... of world... ah hah! Ah, I keep forgetting that your world might not be like mine!"

"In mine, it is entirely possible for a woman to beat the man they love in a tournament, complete with fire and magic, just to make sure they don't go anywhere. Lord Suou Tamaki..." A bit of a grin, as the German finally started regaining his composure, "...it is my experience that girls can hit whomever and whatever they wish. Again, pray that Elena and Haruhi both are not such women. As for your predicament... are you certain that everyone involved knows what's being felt? If Elena doesn't know, then it's cruel to not let her know the truth. And as it will come to light sooner or later... the longer you let her remain ignorant, and the more involved she becomes, the worse the reckoning will be."

Seriously, Adelheid was more concerned about Suou's health than anyone's feelings on the matter; once more, women in his world were terrifying propositions, and he wouldn't want to pick up the pieces from a former lord. He was, however, quite relieved that Edward seemed to share his feelings on the matter. Very much so, in fact.

"I have better things to live for," Ed grumbled. "I made a promise to my brother." Girls meant nothing in the face of that promise. Maybe at some point they might hold some interest for him, but until Al was restored, they just got in the way.

"And I didn't do anything to deserve it!" he protested at Tamaki's accusation. "I just got beaten up and damaged my automail. Not like I let her get beaten up or anything. She's so stroppy about the automail too. She should get married to it or something since she loves it so much!" He broke off his tirade against Winry's kinky automail fetish when he heard laughter and he turned to Adelheid. It was odd to see him smiling, but he looked much nicer when he did. Less hard.

He nodded in agreement with Adel's assessment though. "Girls are weird about that stuff. You have to spell everything out to them clearly otherwise they get angry and then start crying." And once that happened then you were helpless. They were manipulative things sometimes.

"Why are you laughing?" Tamaki looked horrified. How could Adelheid be so cruel as to laugh at him in a time like this?

"This is horrible! Elena knew what I was doing! And she kissed me! She... and I... and people are telling me I have to marry her because she's in love with me and I pledged myself to her but it wasn't like that and I can't hurt her!"

This was a disaster. Being a knightly lord was much harder when it was real! He'd gotten himself in a fine mes. And Kyouya wasn't around to fix things for him. He had to be a man and do what was right. No matter what. That was what knights did, after all.

"What?!? No! I've never had a lady raise a hand to me! Er... not like that, anyway. I was pushed down once but that... that was different...." Eclair hadn't wanted to hurt him. "Maybe she's like that because she likes you! Girls do that, if they want your attention." Tamaki announced. It made sense in his mind.

"I laugh, because I've never imagined a world where women could be what you're talking about." He stopped laughing, but his lopsided grin didn't disappear; here they were, all three of them completely hopeless in this one matter that should have come naturally. It was so sad that laughter really was the only recourse for the tallest one; Edward was a genius alchemist, Adelheid was a prodigy of the martial arts, and Suou Tamaki was a lord... and here they were, clueless.

...if Eric laughed as hard as he had over Adelheid falling off a wall, he could only imagine what the man would do if he could see them now.

"Edward has it right; unless everything's spelled out to them beforehand, they do get angry and that can lead to many unpleasant things. Up to and including beating someone to within an inch of their lives, or further. Though it isn't always about 'love' that such things are done, of course, but just to illustrate the point."

Seriously, this situation was so convoluted, and yet Adelheid saw the matter rather simply. If Suou wanted out, he had to be a man and take his lumps, and be done with it. "Suou, it may not be possible to do this without hurting her; if you lie, then the hurt is only postponed, and it will be even worse later when she does find out. The best course of action truly is to determine what you feel about her, and let her know, immediately."

A pause, then he added, again with all seriousness, "Otherwise your body may never be found. Elena is apparently quite skilled at hitting her targets, from what she said on the board. Such women can be very dangerous."

"Maybe she's like that because she likes you! Girls do that, if they want your attention," Tamaki had said. Ed mulled that over a for a minute. So Tamaki was saying that if girls liked you then they'd hit you to show their affection.

What the hell kind of sense did that make? "Well if she's doing that because she likes me, then how am I supposed to know that? All I see is her hitting me! I'm sure anyone sane would think the same." Girls were fucking weird. Ed got attacked a lot so how was he supposed to tell one kind of being attacked from another? Why couldn't they just say what they meant?

Still, back to the problem at hand. "Well, if it's any help, I don't think getting married is an option in this place. And if you come from different worlds then it's probably not practical anyway."

"Ladies will sometimes act out if they want attention. Did you pay her lots of attention? Maybe she just wanted you to pay attention to her...." Tamaki had known girls like that. They didn't resort to violence, but if they were jealous or feeling abandoned, they lashed out sometimes.

"And... I really don't think Elena would hurt me. I think... well, she's more likely to cry. I don't want to make her cry! But I don't know how I feel about her." He folded his arms. "Oh, someone told me there's a chapel here and everything, I'm sure they do weddings." But he really wasn't banking on the idea of marrying Elena. If he married anyone....

"Why are girls so confusing?"

And once more, Adelheid found himself in agreement with the other two at the table; girls were just confusing. Scarily so, at times; they seemed to have no respect for logic or reason, and especially in Adelheid's experience, the safest course of action was to bend to their will and hope for the best.

...at least Suou was certain Elena wasn't going to hurt him. Adelheid, however, was not so certain.

"I agree with Suou, Edward; if you weren't paying 'enough' attention to her, she might have done that to make sure you would focus on her for awhile. At least, that's what it would seem like to me." To be honest, it sounded a lot like what happened in his own world at times. Which was just a little disconcerting.

After a bit of a pause, he slowly shook his head. He had some problems with girls back home as well- he had the scar from one to prove it- but nothing like what he was being told about. "Both of you have my condolences."

"I'm not entirely sure if they would do weddings or not, especially considering that both of you are supposed to have 'conditions'. Be that as it may... the fact that you don't know what you're feeling does complicate matters. On the positive side, it may mean that she isn't entirely sure of what she's feeling, herself." The tallest teenager rubbed his temples; his thoughts were going back to the tylenol in the doctor's bag, and how much he was going to need one at this rate. Relationships were so troublesome, so entangling, so draining. He didn't think that he'd ever want to have one. Not with someone confusing and illogical, at least.

"As for that last question? They just are. It's something we must put up with." A bit of resignation at that; Adelheid had accepted, long ago, that women were going to be the driving force of his life, one way or another. First it was Rose, then Dante... now, he felt a bit lost; if it wasn't for his overwhelming need to get out and return to Rose, he'd have been completely hopeless. But the hope of return buoyed him up again and again; that was one thing girls were good for, at least.

When the hell had this become an interrogation? Ed scowled at both of them. "How am I supposed to pay her attention when she's in some backwater village miles from anywhere and I'm a) in the military and b) half a country away most of the time?" He crossed his arms and looked at them stubbornly. "And she's not interested in men, just in the damn automail." He grumbled unintelligibly for a couple more moments before seeming to calm down again.

He had to agree with Adelheid on that last bit though. "Girls just don't see things the same way we do. Just... make sure they know what you're saying otherwise they think you mean other things." That's what he tried to do at least. If he just said exactly what he meant than it worked... sometimes. Although he wasn't sure if his own knowledge applied to this kind of situation.

"No wonder she felt the need to act so forcefully!" Tamaki said. It all made sense in his mind. "She felt abandoned, left behind, cast aside in favor of your glaorious career and travels! Didn't you bring her gifts? Send her trinkets? Letters?" You couldn't just leave a woman and expect her not to be upset about it!

Somehow, the conversation had shifted to be all about Ed.

"Anyway, I suppose I'll just talk to Elena next chance that I get. I'll simply... be honest with her."

Adelheid certainly didn't know how the conversation had shifted to the other blond's problems, but it amused him anyway. But it was still odd, as well; offering advice was one thing, this was approaching something a bit different. Something outside of his experience, and moreover something he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to discuss.

So he softly said, "If she truly felt that way about Edward, then she would have understood that he had no choice in the matter. Nor would she have wished for him to choose between her and his goals." He knew why Edward had been so busy, after all, and for him the choice Edward had made was the correct one; Alphonse deserved no less than that, and surely the girl would have understood. So he offered a slight smile to the other warrior; interrogation over, so far as Adelheid was concerned. Besides, it wasn't like he knew (or wanted to know) enough about that situation to speak more thoroughly.

Tamaki, on the other hand? A slight nod met that last comment, even though Adelheid couldn't quite get the horrifying possibility of a battered and repentant Suou Tamaki out of his mind. Surely it wouldn't come to that, would it? Elena wasn't that kind of woman! ...he hoped. "That's the best you can be. I only hope that it will end pleasantly for both of you."

"Huh." Ed sat back and pondered that for a minute. He didn't exactly keep in touch, but that was because he'd been so busy and Al came first. Al always came first. It wasn't as though he didn't care about Winry. He did, she was like a sister to him! More like him than Al was in some ways, but he could't do anything until Al was restored anyway. "Doesn't matter anyway. She isn't here thankfully," he mumbled.

He returned Adelheid's smile gratefully glad that he wouldn't be questioned anymore. Winry was just Winry and that about covered it.

"It'd be silly," he began quietly, "to get nasty over something like that in this place." He looked at Tamaki firmly. "If you like her, then she must be a nice person, so I'm sure it won't be too bad."

He sighed when the intercom sounded and stiffly pushed himself to his feet, trying to ignore the aching in his chest and arm. "I'm going to stay in the sun room and not move," he said, smiling wryly. Might even manage to get some sleep or something.

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Day 21: Lunch

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