damned_institute | Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

Hitsugaya left the chapel no less frustrated than before. The head doctor once again had chosen not to hide his face, yet promised he would be making an appearance at some time in the near future. He didn't like being patient, but there wasn't much choice. Either the head doctor would show his face, or he wouldn't. Renji had already seen him, and knew how to find him. That was enough.

The thought of eating made him slightly nauseous as usual, but he knew he needed to get his strength up. He could either be weak and try to force his way through brunch without eating anything, or he could be smart and actually give himself something to eat. And there was rice. Rice and fruit. He took a heaping pile of rice, and grabbed as much watermelon as he could fit on his plate, then proceeded to an empty table. He scanned the room, watching for Momo. He wasn't exactly looking forward to their conversation, knowing how she'd acted yesterday; however, he knew he had to speak to her, and there was a good chance that she would show more restraint now that the drugs were out of her system.

Thoughtfully he consumed his rice and waited.

[free at the moment, pester if you wish]

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Ashton had nodded through everything Claude had said, albeit a little reluctantly. There were so many things he could say, about how he wanted to talk to Claude about things, it was just a little hard sometimes when other people were there, and there kept being people there. And now they'd finally gotten alone together, and it had been a bundle of mixed emotions.

Though, admittedly, what Claude said in reply didn't make a huge difference to Ashton. It wasn't going to change much in the grand scheme of things, though, whether or not Ashton clarified that he was 'here' in more than just the literal sense of the word.

But then Claude had to ask that final question, and Ashton froze. "S-something?" he repeated, off first instinct. The blush suddenly spread from his ears to the rest of his face, and Ashton kind of wanted to die a little.

There was no point in hiding it. What had Dias said? He'd said Ashton, you're a miserable liar. And, oh Tria, was it true.

"Well," Ashton started, looking off to the side as if pondering the question, but really trying wildly to phrase the words in his mind. "I mean." Claude had already figured it out, hadn't he? "Maybe. It's.. it's nothing serious or anything like that, but.."

Suddenly he looked back at Claude, wringing his napkin in front of him worriedly, his insecurities coming to a head. "I mean, if there was, you'd be okay with it, right? You wouldn't just stop being my friend just because of that, right?"

Ashton's reaction hadn't entirely unexpected, but it still felt like a blow to the stomach for Claude. Honestly, Ashton didn't even need to say anything else. The blushing and the stammering were answer enough. He was even trying to downplay whatever it was that was going on, even though it was painfully obvious by now.

Oh Ashton. He was trying so hard for his sake, wasn't he? Claude couldn't cause a scene in the cafeteria, as much as he wanted to right then. But it didn't change the fact that Ashton and Dias were...

The Earthling stayed quiet for a moment, taking in a deep breath as he listened to his friend speak. "O-of course I'd still be your friend, Ashton!" he said, his voice a bit louder than he'd intended. "What kind of question is that? Is that why you've been hiding this from me?"

The paper napkin ripped a little bit from the way Ashton was gripping it for dear life, and Ashton dropped it into his lap, gripping the table instead. He stared at Claude, trying his best to gauge his reaction (and if he needed to quickly apologize again for who-knew-what.)

But at least it could have been worse. Claude wasn't hitting things or throwing things or screaming or anything else. Not that Claude would have done any of those things, but. One never knew when it came to this sort of thing. Matters of the heart changed people.

Even so, hearing Claude say he'd still be Ashton's friend, even though it seemed.. kind of forced and awkward.. made all the difference. He was still a little shaky, but he nodded. "I.. I mean..." Why had he been hiding this from Claude? Because.. well, because of a lot of things. A lot of things that had to do with Claude feeling more alone, and just embarrassment in general, and.. well, other reasons too, but.. "I mean, it's.. nothing's really official or anything yet, but you know I was going to tell you when it was, eventually, right?"

He sighed, fidgeting nervously some more. "I mean, I'm just not sure that you would have appreciated it if I kept you updated with every single new thing that happened with your rival, so..."

Claude sure hoped Ashton would have come out and told him. To be honest, he'd rather people be straightforward with him than try to hide things behind his back. When he felt like people were tip-toeing around him about something or other, often times his imagination ran away with him, and sometimes he assumed the worst.

Either way, it was definitely true Ashton had a thing for Dias Flac. His rival. He'd certainly suspected as much, had thought he'd flip a lid if it ever came to light for sure. But instead he simply sat there, stunned as if someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water on top of his head, as he let this new bit of information wash over him. A million questions ran through the blond's mind. How long had this been going on? Did Ashton have feelings for Dias before they even wound up in Landel's? Had he been secretly cheering for the blue-haired swordsman during the Tournament of Arms?

But it seemed rude to spring such things on Ashton, as much as he wanted to, so Claude refrained for the time being.

"But it involves my best friend! Of course I care about it!" Claude responded, his eyebrows raising in surprise. Then he paused, staring down at his food. "Besides, if I'd have known you two were, uh, you know, lovers..." Geez, that was really weird to say. "I could have just stayed out of your way so you wouldn't have had to keep asking me to leave."

"We're not lovers," Ashton almost-hissed, wide-eyed and utterly surprised. Lovers? Where had Claude gotten that idea? Did Ashton look like the type to.. to sleep with someone on the first date, or something? He and Dias hadn't even had a first date. "It's not like we've been - y-you know. That. I mean, he, well, he kissed me maybe three times ever. We're not lovers. I mean, that's not what he told you, was it? I mean, I don't even - I don't even know what we are. I'm as confused as you are, I guess."

Ashton lifted his hand to rub his suddenly-itchy nose a little bit. He'd felt it was imperative to make sure Claude knew that he and Dias weren't lovers, but Ashton didn't really have a good term for what they were. Not boyfriends. While Ashton liked the sound of that, it was a little formal. But it wasn't exactly friends, either. They were friends, though, though they were also obviously more. 'Just friends' didn't kiss and say things like that. But it wasn't exactly a term Ashton could think up on his own - he'd need Dias' input for that.

"Besides," he added, "ah.. now you know, right? I mean, I've never been in a situation like this before - with a guy or anyone, you know - and.. well... I mean. If I had to ask, uhh, advice or anything like that, you'd be there for me, right, Claude?" It was a desperate attempt to make light of the conversation. Things had gotten a little heavy for a while there, and the faint, nervous smile on Ashton's face expressed hope that things could be totally repaired between them - heck, maybe they'd even grow stronger.

"Okay, okay, okay, not lovers, I get it," Claude said quickly. He was sorry he'd even suggested it. He was even sorrier to have the image of Dias kissing Ashton seared into his brain, though he figured he was just going to have to learn to deal with that. "I guess, uh, 'significant other', then?" Maybe a little too politically correct, but any other word Claude could think of had more potentially embarrassing connotations to them.

He was a little surprised to hear Ashton had never been in a relationship before, though now that he knew it, Claude supposed it'd make sense. Ashton rarely ever spoke of his life before their fated meeting, though it didn't take a genius to figure out he'd had few to no friends. Still, he knew Ashton wasn't totally clueless about these things. He'd implied he'd wanted to date him at that tea shop, right? Then again, maybe Claude had completely misunderstood.

...Well, come to think of it, it had to have been a misunderstanding. Or maybe his friend simply didn't remember any of that. Ashton wouldn't have been locked in the bedroom kissing Dias otherwise, he was sure.

Not that it mattered. It wasn't like he and Ashton had never made any solid plans to start dating and why was he thinking about this anyway?! Geez!

"Of course I'd be there for you, Ashton," Claude stated emphatically. "You can come to me about anything, you know! Advice, or for a second opinion about an outfit, or if you need someone to vent to about something, or if you need a buddy to watch your back during a tough battle. Anything."

He reached out and placed a hand on Ashton's arm. "Don't ever feel like you have to hide anything from me again, okay? I mean it. I want to see you happy, so when I see you're having problems, and you won't tell me what they're about, it makes me really worried and kind of sad, you know?"

He gave a smile to match Ashton's. "And of course you can come to me about love advice, too. If Dias and I supposedly have things in common, maybe that can, I don't know, come in handy in getting another perspective or something. Besides, you could say I have a little bit of experience, too, so..."

Never mind that it was love advice about Dias, but Claude wasn't going to let that rivalry destroy his friendship with Ashton, no matter what. He felt like he was man enough for that, at least.

"I.. don't know how significant I am, but maybe that's a good word for it. I.. I don't know. I'd rather just call him 'Dias' right now instead of any of those other things," he said, nodding as if that sealed the deal. Dias was Dias, and Ashton would have a heck of a hard time asking him what they were. What was he going to do, go up to him tonight and ask Dias Flac to be his boyfriend!? He could never be so forward! It'd have to wait.

...Then again, maybe Claude should pester Dias about it. Ooh, that was a great idea! "Ah, maybe next time you talk to him you can ask him what we are and then that'll be your answer." He nodded again.

Although..

...

"A second opinion about an outfit?" He couldn't help but repeat Claude's words. ..Now, Ashton really liked clothes, but if there was someone he was going to go shopping with or whatever, he'd totally pick Celine. Not that.. Claude's normal outfit was utterly ridiculous or anything. No, it was just a little... alien. Alien raiments. And such. "Ah, okay. Um, I'll let you know. Anything. I've got it." He gave a big grin.

"Though, what's this about experience? Ooh, Claude, do tell! I'm always in for details, you know." Ashton was a fan of gossip, and this was a good direction away from talking about his own love life. Besides, he was totally interested in hearing juicy tidbits about his own best friend. And Claude had been the one to bring it up, anyway...

"Well, I certainly wouldn't call you insignificant," Claude stated firmly. Then he paused, scratching his chin. "But maybe just plain 'Dias' is best. I mean, he'll always be that no matter what he is to you, so it's probably good to keep things simple." Dias seemed like the kind of guy who liked simple anyway.

Claude wasn't sure if he liked the way Ashton sounded about the outfit stuff, but he could let it slide. His Federation uniform wasn't exactly the trendiest thing around, and it probably seemed awfully alien to anyone not from Earth. Besides, trends on Earth and Expel were pretty different as it was.

Still, it looked like Ashton got his main point, and that was what ultimately mattered anyway.

He shouldn't have been surprised when Ashton pressed about this "experience" Claude had mentioned. The blond paused, looking a little startled. "Well, I mean...I never officially dated anyone on Expel or anything, but, you know, back when I was on Earth, a lot of people actually wanted to date me." That might have sounded conceited, which Claude certainly wasn't, but it was the truth, even if they might have been more interested in his father than Claude himself.

"Naturally I cast the bait and tried to fish for something a little lasting." He leaned over the table, grinning a little in spite of himself. "So, yeah, you could say I have a bit of experience here and there."

Not that he'd ever found anything lasting, of course. The few steady relationships he'd pursued back during his academy days hadn't ended all that well, but Ashton didn't need to know that. He didn't want to ruin his credibility, after all. Experience was still experience!

"That.. well, that was what I had planned. It's nothing I would ever ask him, after all." Ashton was quickly realizing that his relationship with Dias, whatever it was, would be anything but typical; they were too inexperienced and.. well, both of them were just too weird for anything normal.

Though Claude's words about his past, and the relationships back then, made Ashton drop his jaw a little bit. It wasn't entirely unexpected, hearing how popular he'd been, but it made him a little self-conscious all the same. Maybe Claude had had so much experience back then that that was why he hadn't wanted to go out for a second tea with Ashton that one time. No one wanted to date an inexperienced guy with dragons on his back.

Of course, now he was just an inexperienced guy.

"Haaa, I bet a lot of people wanted to date you back on Expel and Nede, you know," Ashton was trying to say nonchalantly but failing just a bit. "I mean, I wouldn't know or anything, but.. uh, you know. I mean, I guess Rena seemed pretty taken with you." He coughed. So had he at one point, but he wouldn't have wanted to break Rena's heart. She was really the jealous type, after all.

He took a final sip of his grape juice, finishing it. "But, wow, Claude. I wouldn't have expected that. I mean, that you were such a fisherman, so to speak.."

Claude didn't really see anything wrong with just flat-out asking someone where their relationship stood or if they were really dating or whatever. He actually preferred that approach to just sitting around and guessing and wondering about what was going on. In the end, it saved a lot of pain and agonizing -- kind of like why it was better to rip a band-aid off really fast instead of slowly peeling it off.

"Well, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to ask," the blond said after a moment. "But if you really wanted to, I could probably talk to him about it, though I can't keep playing messenger for you two love birds or anything." It was almost like being in elementary school, when his buddy had slipped him a note to hand to the girl sitting next to him -- do you like me? Check yes or no.

He almost snorted into his juice, but managed to cover it up with an eloquent cough. Okay, okay, he really needed to stop teasing poor Ashton about this, even if it was one of the only things really helping him adjust to this shocking bit of news. Claude set down the cup and smiled.

"Anyway, I really am glad for you, Ashton. I do want to see you happy, and I am quite all right with my life, thank you, even if Dias feels otherwise. You know I'll always be okay, right?"

The Earthling raised his eyebrows at the dating comment. "You really think so?" he asked. "To be honest, I always figured Rena saw me as a good friend, but never really as anything romantic. She seemed more interested in studying than finding a boyfriend last I saw her." Claude scratched his cheek and laughed a little. "You know, there were a couple of people I wouldn't have minded dating myself, but it seems there isn't room for anything like that anymore. But that's all right. Other fish in the sea and all that, you know?"

He took the last bite of his food and swallowed it. "Hey, you don't have to sound too surprised!" Claude laughed. "And it wasn't like I was some, I don't know, playboy or anything. I've just ventured out into the waters a few times when things were looking promising. Though it's a little different for everyone, I'm sure." He grinned. "So, yeah, if ever you need any advice or someone to talk to, I'm all ears!"

Ashton, on the other hand, was a fan of pulling off a bandage really slowly and carefully; ripping it off might disrupt a scab and cause something to bleed and hurt more than it probably should have.

He flushed up. "Don't call us that, uh.. just yet.." he said with a nervous laugh. He didn't really feel like joking about the whole thing just yet. Especially when Claude was coughing and sputtering like that. "But.. but thanks. I'm glad I have your blessing. I know you'll be okay. I mean, no reason you wouldn't be, right..?" He guessed, anyway. This whole business was kinda unsettling.

In fact, the more Claude talked about it, the more it seemed to Ashton like there was a world of opportunity that could have been had for the two of them. But all of that was in the past now; now Ashton was with Dias, and that.. well, that was the end of that. So he met Claude's eye and nodded with a little knowing, yet somewhat shaky smile. "Maybe in another dimension there's room for that, I guess."

(How many versions of Rena were there, though!?)

He just had to smile and nod at Claude's utter insistence that he come to him for advice, though - before he could say anything, a nurse was looming over him.

"It's time for your visitor, Paul hon," she said gently, patting him on the arm.

A visitor?

Ashton's eyes widened, and all he could do was nod quickly to Claude before he was dragged away.

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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