damned_institute | Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

Hitsugaya left the chapel no less frustrated than before. The head doctor once again had chosen not to hide his face, yet promised he would be making an appearance at some time in the near future. He didn't like being patient, but there wasn't much choice. Either the head doctor would show his face, or he wouldn't. Renji had already seen him, and knew how to find him. That was enough.

The thought of eating made him slightly nauseous as usual, but he knew he needed to get his strength up. He could either be weak and try to force his way through brunch without eating anything, or he could be smart and actually give himself something to eat. And there was rice. Rice and fruit. He took a heaping pile of rice, and grabbed as much watermelon as he could fit on his plate, then proceeded to an empty table. He scanned the room, watching for Momo. He wasn't exactly looking forward to their conversation, knowing how she'd acted yesterday; however, he knew he had to speak to her, and there was a good chance that she would show more restraint now that the drugs were out of her system.

Thoughtfully he consumed his rice and waited.

[free at the moment, pester if you wish]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Allen was becoming more confused by the moment. Akuma? He hadn't "killed" them, he'd set their souls free! It was what they wanted! Only the Akuma who he'd seen self destruct in front of his very eyes hadn't been saved. It had been destroyed, yes, but not by Innocence. The soul had been lost.

"Skin? No," he protested, "I didn't kill anyone!" Surely she wouldn't think that of him? He didn't think he could kill someone, not a human at least, even if he wanted to. He knew exactly how painful it was to lose family and he couldn't help but feel a small measure of sympathy for her, even if he knew he hadn't killed the man.

"I just..." he retreated, only a small bit, his eyes looking down briefly at his tray. "I don't want anyone to get hurt. That includes you."

She hated when he tried to defend himself, or more defend his exorcist friends against her, but making him feel at least some guilt took the edge from her initial anger. The Akuma reference had just been used to show their similarities - she really didn't care what happened to the once-human monstrocities - but it had still forced Allen Walker into feeling responsible. Somehow. No matter how he denied it, Allen Walker felt guilty over enemy casualties.

Such a kind fool.

After a moment she slackened her arm and placed her hand back to the table. Her glare persisted though, angry and just a little sad. Skin's death was stuck on her mind now and defending him and her Family overrode any desire to play.

"What should you care if I'm hurt? Your friends are trying to kill my family," she hissed sharply. Then, after a pause, "... I don't even know if... they're still alive, Allen. They're not here! Your friends could have killed them already!"

Usually Rhode wouldn't have been worried over her surrogate siblings as they should have been able to handle themselves, but Skin's defeat had been unexpected. If the Noah of Wrath could be taken down by one weak exorcist, then the others could have been defeated as well. They really could all be dead now, and she wouldn't have even known.

The four days she'd been without them had her panicking. It had been so long that someone should have come for her by now. But no one had. Not even one Akuma. What if no one came at all? Did she have to stay like this, separated and alone?

He shouldn't care. He knew that. Just considering it was enough for him to be labeled a traitor, to become one of the fallen. His conflicted feelings showed easily on his open, honest face.

"And yours might've killed more of ours," he answered, his voice sounding somewhat hollow. "But we've no way of knowing until we can get out of here."

"It's not fair to involve the other patients... that child, he wasn't an Exorcist. Have you hurt others here? I don't know- I haven't kept track of you in the night hours, for all I know you've gone after people then as well." If she had to hurt someone... it should be one of theirs- no, him. It should be him. He couldn't bear the thought of Rhode hurting his friends, most especially Rinali.

He shrugged his thin shoulders, hands in his lap, holding tightly to the hem of his shirt. "I wouldn't be asking... but this is the only option left. I don't approve of all the methods, but... if you don't agree, they may very well kill you."

Rhode wasn't looking at his face, opting for his own method of looking elsewhere while speaking. Her nearly syrupless pancakes were pretty interesting what with the careless indentations she'd made with her finger.

She didn't want his kindness. That's exactly what she was hearing him preach about, his own desire for no bloodshed on any fronts, hers included. His kindness towards her was as good as pity right now. She didn't want his pity either! She didn't... but at the same time she did.

"Last night... I almost got eaten..." she mumbled before pushing her tray away and folding her arms on the table.

Things here provided entertainment, it was true, but to no end. She wasn't striving to rid the world of humans here because some apparently weren't humans. Or so they said. She'd just been bored that time with Phibby, but there had been no more victims to her playing. And that girl in town had started it! Only at night did she feel like actually hurting anything, but she'd never been able to. Things hurt her instead; she had the claw marks all over her body to prove it! Now it sounded like things in the day wished to do the same.

"And you'd let them..." she accused, voice deadpanning as she lowered her head into her folded arms. Rhode knew Allen probably wouldn't say that he'd just let that happen, but her knowledge of him seemed to have faded along with the rest of her emotions.

Allen wasn't the only one who felt conflicted now. She didn't know where her family was or if they were even still alive. If they weren't, then did she have a purpose anymore? Did the Noah still exist with just one left? So long as she had been with the Earl, she'd been able to manage as the most long-lived Noah child. Sometimes that had meant being alone until the genes were repossessed, but there had always been the Earl. If he was gone as well... she'd never really been alone.

And if she was, maybe she didn't care anymore.

Would he really just stand idly by while the others decided to kill someone? Murderer though she might be, if they did the same, weren't they no better?

"Maybe we should talk about this another time," he suggested, hands still folded in his lap.

"You brought it up..." she muttered again, not really caring, "... and you didn't answer either."

He was avoiding the question. Then, he really didn't know if he would let them or not? Oh well. If it happened, it happened. It wasn't like she could do anything to stop an attack, either at night or during the day.

Allen was quiet for a moment, his thoughts seemed a little slower than usual and finding the right answer was as bad as sloshing through mud. He knew he would do everything he could to keep her from being killed. It was too much. But he also was at a loss for what else to do about her. They couldn't spare the man-power to have a babysitter keep her locked up in her room every night when the nurses couldn't watch her. But they also couldn't afford the threat she might be to the others, the Exorcists especially. And when and if they ever got back home...

"I wouldn't have mentioned it if I were going to allow that sort of thing." She could take that however she liked. "I should go. I told Re- the others I wouldn't speak with you about this by myself." He pushed his tray away, just as she'd done, but moved instead to get out of his seat.

That was more like the Allen she knew - always taking the more peaceful road, not wanting anyone on either side getting hurt. He was such an odd exorcist to be that kind, but she liked that about him. Any other exorcist wouldn't have even bothered talking to her (save for perhaps the Jr. Bookman, but that was a special exception).

"You're not making sense. If you're not going to let them, then why tell me?" After all, what could she do about people who wanted to kill her? Nothing here. She wagered he was just warning her in case he couldn't stop any attempts on hurting her, but still he was being terrible with his delivery. "It's not like I can-- hey, don't leave!" she ordered, realizing he was attempting to get away. He couldn't just go like that, not after he had been the one to start this stupid conversation! She didn't care who didn't want him talking to her alone!

"You don't understand," he sighed, "if you'd just agree not to hurt the other patients here, it wouldn't be a problem." He shook his head, he wasn't getting anywhere with this except for a headache starting to form.

"I'll speak with you again later," he said as she began to protest. He glanced over at Renji, still talking with that blonde boy. Well, he could always go through the buffet line again... on the way over there of course.

[[Picking up some food and then going to here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/264448.html?thread=19962112#t19962112)]]

[[from here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/264448.html?thread=20175360#t20194048)]]

Allen returned to the table, with Renji in tow. It seemed like she'd behaved for the short time he was gone at least. It was a little bit easier to put things in perspective, remembering things like the Rewinding Town, but the situation still made him uneasy.

"Rhode? This is Renji. He's here to... clarify some of the things I was speaking to you about," Allen explained.

It only looked as though she'd behaved because Allen had returned quickly to the table. Had he taken any longer, she would have either followed after him (how dare he just walk off like that?!) or taken to lopping pancakes in his direction. If there was one thing Rhode didn't like, it was being ignored.

She had, however, paid close attention to the area Allen had gone to for that short bit of time. Allen had problems talking to her, an enemy, so it was doubtful he had left her for another enemy after all. Her assumptions of that were only strengthened when Allen returned with the man he'd been speaking with. So this was who he'd been glancing at earlier. Had to be an exorcist. She really couldn't tell if he was human or otherwise, but if he was with Allen Walker, then he was likely a goody-goody.

"Is he who made you talk to me?" she asked, giving Renji a smiling glare.

Some of her playful nature had returned due to there being a probable new exorcist to torment - she wasn't able to help the smile - though the glare she used alongside that smile was intentional. If this Renji had forced Allen Walker into speaking to her, then he was behind the proposed "truce". Exorcists were sneaky things, so she had to be careful.

And, if nothing else, she had a right to be cross with him for having made her Allen Walker act so uncomfortably around her.

Renji sat down, next to Allen, leaning one elbow on the table top. For a long moment, he just looked at Rhode, examining what he could sense about her spirit. Not human, which was really the most important part, and the only thing that was easy to tell without putting a lot of effort in to it.

"It's easy," he said. "Harm any of my people, or any of the humans, and we will kill you." His tone was flat. "Thank Allen. He's the only reason you're getting a warning."

"Renji didn't make me do anything," Allen tried. He didn't like the look she was giving him. At the very least, he doubted she was taking either of them seriously.

He could trust Renji to be terribly blunt and straightforward so there was no mistaking any of it. Allen looked steadily at Rhode, "I think it would be best if you seriously consider this."

She slid her eyes to Allen a moment before looking back to the red-head. He was already unliked just for the look he was giving her, as though she was the inferior here, but she also disliked him for the proposition. Unlike Allen, Renji was specifically ordering and threatening her. That meant he was behind what Allen had asked her. She didn't believe for a second that Allen hadn't been forced by Renji to talk to her.

Without the nervous stuttering, Renji at least gave a better overview of what this threat entailed. His people, was it? Now who or what might they be?

"Are you human?" she asked. He made it sound as though he wasn't, which was very important for her to know before any decisions were made.

"No," Renji said. It wasn't all that surprising that she'd picked up on it; for the most part, he'd given up trying to pretend that he was human because it wasn't worth the constant effort. And really, it had been a point to make, here. Because it would be the Shinigami and the exorcists hunting her down, not necessarily ordinary humans. "I'm not. I am a Shinigami. A death god."

Allen didn't see how it mattered what Renji was. He saw Renji as an Akuma, but it just wasn't the same. Renji was warm, not cold and mechanical like the other Akuma, and even if he was rude sometimes, he was still a nice person. This place made it all the more difficult to see who their real enemies were.

He didn't add anything, instead letting the two make their own introductions... or whatever it was they were doing might be called.

Her grin spread just a bit at the confirmation of him not being human, then flattened out at his introduction. Shinigami was Japanese so far as she knew, and she was well aware of what it meant without him having to inform her. It was one of the few words she'd paid attention to during school lessons. Mentions of death usually grabbed her attention.

"God's a bit high...," she commented softly, more to herself than to him. Once her wonder over a possible complex ~~that he probably had~~ had passed she offered him a bright smile, "But that means you kill too, doesn't it? And humans I'll bet. Why would you want me not to do something that it's your job to do, hmmm?"

The debate was on for real now. Rhode wasn't about to be cornered without a fight. Him calling himself a "God" didn't scare her in the slightest. It actually gave her more of a reason to talk him back down to a sane level. She recalled that the traditional role of a Japanese Shinigami was similar to that of an Exorcist, so she wanted to hear if another "exorcist" could justify his own actions over that of a Noah.

If he even mentioned some religious crap, there was no way she'd accept.

Renji gave Rhode a disinterested look. "You seem to be confused," he said. "This is not a discussion. This is not a bargain. We're not in the fucking market. What I am and what I do are not your concern. Your head remaining attached to your body is. Whether you choose to live or die isn't something I give a shit about."

Allen wasn't sure if he ought to be relieved or not that Rhode also thought it odd that these Shinigami people likened themselves to God, but it was probably a really bad time to point that out. Fancy title or not, Renji was helping him look out for the people he cared about and even the people he didn't.

Arms folded in his lap, Allen waited for Renji's reply, but was surprised when he heard his answer. "It's for the best," Allen insisted. "It's difficult enough trying to leave this place without fretting over getting stabbed in the back by other patients. Please."

Well, wasn't he being boring! And annoying, which was the worse of the two at the moment. She pouted at him, unhappy for the presentation he was shoving her way, and just about had a mind to stick out her tongue.

If he didn't care, then why the heck was he even bothering?!

"Then you're being stupid," she returned for Renji before giving Allen an upset, if not confused look, "He doesn't care, right? Then why's he here, Allen? If he really didn't make you talk to me, then that doesn't make sense!"

She still remained unconvinced that Allen hadn't been forced into this deal, if one could call it that. The one explaining it didn't care, but Allen did, which was backwards anyway, so what reason would Renji have to be explaining at all? If he didn't care, then why should she?

And the who ordeal wasn't even normal! Bargaining she was familiar with, but only so far as having both sides profit... or one backstabbing the other, which Allen seemed to be referencing. This was more of a coercive arrangement by an unorganized, or otherwise divided party currently consisting of the two before her.

No matter how she looked at it, even if she agreed, it would be her who ended up stabbed, and not metaphorically either. That wasn't fair! Ordering her into accepting their proposal and then expecting her to be a "prefect little angel" was in no way fair! And Renji had been ordering her earlier.

That's why she couldn't understand. Someone who didn't care was ordering her to be good. For Rhode, a person who'd never had the need to safe-guard her own life, she could not understand Renji's meaning as anything other than complete hypocricy.

Of all the things he'd been called in his life, stupid, and by a little girl shaped thing was probably the most innocuous. "Clean out your ears," Renji said. "You already got told the answer to that. I don't care if you decide to live or die. I'm all in favor of just killing you before you fuck up and prove me right. The only reason you're even getting this chance is because Allen asked."

Asked wasn't the right word. Was stubborn and dumb was better. But there needed to be a united front, here. He was perfectly happy making Allen into the good cop.

Was she trying to get sympathy from him? He'd played nice, he'd turned a blind eye, but he couldn't look away from the facts. She was a danger. "He cares about whether or not innocent people here get hurt."

Allen's eyes were cool with unspoken anger, "I don't want the same things that happened in the Rewinding Town to happen to anyone here. I'm not a fool Rhode, I know what you're capable of; I watched you laughing when you destroyed that Akuma!" His voice rose in volume as he spoke, fists at his sides, shaking slightly.

"When things are already so bad, how can you want to make them worse?! I don't understand why it's so difficult for you to agree to this!"

Renji was going to get ignored now. He didn't care for her, she didn't care for him, and that was that. She had no reason to care for listening to him anymore. Now she kept her attention on Allen, also ignoring his own references to Renji. What else he said she jumped at.

"You said that before," she reminded him. Allen was repeating his words now, though they were far more stable than before. His usually calm eyes now sent angry intent her way. That anger was understandable, but only for the events of the Rewinding Town. She'd bekoned his anger forward then with every intent of gaining his disdain.

But it made no sense for him to be angry here, however far away from that place and time. None! If anyone should be angry, it should be her! And she was.

"How can I?!" she hissed, finally snapping back without a playful edge, "You tell me that, Allen! Just how do you think I can do anything without my powers?!"

This wasn't about being "good". For her, it was about her losing her position as a Noah - having to deal with humans and non-humans alike who thought they were better than her, having to be weak and useless against almost everything, having to simply be human. He couldn't even fathom just how devastating that was for her! No one could! It even hurt to be accused by him for things she hadn't done exactly because she hadn't done them!

"Did I ever say I wanted to make things worse?! It doesn't get any worse than this!" She felt the unnatural desire to cry again, but ground her teeth to keep it back.

Renji hazarded a glance at Allen; he didn't look like he was going to fall for it. That was good. He didn't really care if the girl listened to him or not; he hadn't been kidding when he said he would have preferred to just kill the girl.

Though he did have to add one thing. "It gets a lot worse," he said. "I kill you and you go to hell."

"You make it sound like that's something I ought to know. How do I know you haven't still got some of your abilities? They're limited, but I still have mine. Why wouldn't you be the same? Why should I trust anything you say?" How did Rhode have a right to be angry at all?! He was trying to help her, not hurt her! Didn't she see that?

"Your idea of worse and mine are vastly different," he said, cooling slightly. He glanced at Renji for a moment, nodding his head in silent agreement. "You think attacking that boy in the craft room was making things better? If we're going to escape, I don't have time to play as your babysitter!"

Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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