damned_institute | Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

Hitsugaya left the chapel no less frustrated than before. The head doctor once again had chosen not to hide his face, yet promised he would be making an appearance at some time in the near future. He didn't like being patient, but there wasn't much choice. Either the head doctor would show his face, or he wouldn't. Renji had already seen him, and knew how to find him. That was enough.

The thought of eating made him slightly nauseous as usual, but he knew he needed to get his strength up. He could either be weak and try to force his way through brunch without eating anything, or he could be smart and actually give himself something to eat. And there was rice. Rice and fruit. He took a heaping pile of rice, and grabbed as much watermelon as he could fit on his plate, then proceeded to an empty table. He scanned the room, watching for Momo. He wasn't exactly looking forward to their conversation, knowing how she'd acted yesterday; however, he knew he had to speak to her, and there was a good chance that she would show more restraint now that the drugs were out of her system.

Thoughtfully he consumed his rice and waited.

[free at the moment, pester if you wish]

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If the other boy's glare bothered him, Allen didn't let it show. He was almost as obnoxious as Kanda and that was saying something. The eyes were strange, though he wasn't really one to talk, but there was no mistaking what the look meant. He waited for the blonde to leave before he finally took a seat across from Renji.

"I'm alright," he said, startling slightly after realizing Renji had asked him a question. It took him a moment to remember what the standard answer ought to be. "Ah- I ran into Rhode. Or more accurately, she decided to pay me a visit. You seemed busy so I didn't-" he began, trying to explain as best he could. "Well, I didn't say much, but I had thought perhaps you and I might speak with her. It seems I've come at a poor time though. Are you alright? That boy, he didn't... do anything, did he?"

He probably would have been annoyed if he hadn't been dealing with the headache. "You should've come and gotten me," he said. As far as he was concerned, this whole Rhode issue was the priority, since she was an imminent threat. If Aidou's friend was dead or missing, it wasn't like that was going to change in ten minutes. But it hadn't worked out that way. "Not like you can change it now, though." He slowly sat up, nose still pinched shut. "Yeah, let's talk to her. Just give me a moment 'til my nose stops." It was annoying. And it was also sad, how acquainted with mortal infirmity he was becoming. "What did you say to her already?"

Allen sighed quietly and shrunk in his seat when Renji berated him for not coming sooner. "I know. And I assure you, had you been keeping company with near anyone else, I would have been quick to do so."

He pulled his first tray nearer, munching on another hamburger between breaths. "But I am... ashamed to admit that he and I had a minor disagreement the other day. I nearly lost my temper and I didn't wish to create any more tension between us." Allen glanced off the way the other boy had left. "Though I seem to have failed at that as well."

He shook his head as if to brush those feelings away just as quickly, concentrating instead on the pile of wonderful food right in front of him. "My apologies, I don't mean to trouble you with such things, but I'd rather you not think I was hiding anything."

He coughed, "A-ah, anyway, we spoke only briefly. She said... that I... killed one of her family members." His expression became worried, "but that just isn't so! I wouldn't- I..." He took a breath to collect his thoughts, "I know that you and your men would keep your word, but I don't know if I can make the same promise of mine. The Noah are our enemies. Even here, it doesn't change that." Not only that, but hearing that people were going missing around here didn't set well either. Or that Ravi had gone and attacked a group of innocents! This place just... didn't make sense at all sometimes.

"Aidou's a self-absorbed, blue-blooded, childish dick that thinks the world owes him whatever he wants," Renji said. "Don't let him bother you. He's an asshole. So don't worry about it too much, okay? What was he on you about?" Because there were a couple options, he figured. Either Aidou had wanted something that Allen hadn't wanted to give him, and thus there'd been a tantrum, or Aidou just thought Allen was a fun target to pick on.

"If the Noah things are your enemies, then you shouldn't let the bitch make you feel guilty for doing your duty," Renji said. "Duty comes first. Protect the humans, right?" He shrugged one shoulder. "If your people decide to take her out, that's fine, and we'd help if asked. Remember, the only reason we're even doing this is because you wanted to give her the chance, Allen. Is she changing your mind?"

Allen was hesitant to say much more about the situation. It was humiliating enough as it was, and repeating it only made him feel like a childish tattle-tale, regardless of how nice it was to hear Renji call Aidou those filthy names. "He demanded information and deemed me a... coward for not imparting it." He summarized, cheeks flushed red, partly with shame, partly with anger that the boy had suggested it in the first place. "A-at any rate, it's over and done with."

Renji's next question was a little more surprising. Did it really seem that way? "N-no! That's- I mean... you're right... duty comes first, but- I just- I still want to give her a chance. Everyone deserves that much." It was just such a difficult conversation to have, made him feel like the bad guy.

"Huh." Renji wasn't sure what exactly Aidou would be demanding of Allen, but it was an amusing thought. And he actually liked the confirmation that Allen did, indeed, have a spine. "Okay, then," he said. If Allen didn't want to talk about it, there was no reason to yell at him this time. This wasn't information that had anything to do with keeping people safe, even if he was really curious.

He stopped pinching his nose and took an experimental sniff. It seemed okay. He'd gotten a glass of water along with his tea; he dipped the clean bit of the napkin in the water and started cleaning off his hands as best he could.

"How many chances have you already given her?" he asked.

It was something of a relief when Renji stopped asking questions, about Aidou at least. Allen would consider the matter resolved if he never had to speak to the boy again. It had only gone as far as raised voices and there was no real need for it to go further than that. Not if they stayed out of one another's space.

Allen looked forlornly at his last piece of chicken as he thought the question over. How many chances? It wasn't as though he was asking that they treat her as a friend, or even as someone they might trust! Frankly he would be relieved to see her locked up for a good long time to reflect on her actions. But since that wasn't a possibility... "She gouged out my left eye. Ordered the Akuma to drive stakes through my arm and nail me to a wall. She... hurt Rinali." He wasn't sure why that part of it upset him far more than his own injuries. "She destroyed one of her own Akuma. If they're not destroyed by Innocence, they... can't be saved. I don't know if she's directly responsible or not, but with the others of the Noah clan and the Earl, they've killed many of our people." He paused, "Maybe you're right... and maybe she doesn't deserve another chance. But foolish or not, I just... I can't condemn her to death."

Renji frowned, and the expression only got worse as he listened to the list of things that this Rhode has done. "How many chances does one person need?" he asked. "Most of us get no chances from the world. And what chances has she given the people she hurt?" He picked up his cup of tea, taking a careful sip. "You have a good heart, Allen, and I wouldn't change that about anyone. But if you insist on this, then this is the last chance. Some things should not be forgiven." And oddly enough, what bothered him the most (beyond the whole gouging Allen's eye out thing) was Rhode destroying one of these 'Akuma' so it couldn't be saved. Perhaps it was drawing too much of a parallel, but as a Shinigami that bothered the hell out of him. "Every chance you give her, it is her decision to not take it, not yours."

The bible would say he ought to forgive many more times than that, but when it was his friends who were in danger, it was very difficult to stick to that. Not to mention the bit about not killing was fairly... specific. "I understand that, I assure you. I'm very thankful for the chances that I've been given, small in number though they might be."

He poked at the last remnants of his food on the empty tray. "She could have killed us that day." It'd taken weeks just to recover from the injuries they'd sustained. He'd been unconscious for a good three or four days after. Didn't even remember anything between collapsing in Miranda's tiny living room and waking in his hospital bed.

It was a long moment before he slowly rose from the table, his mismatched eyes full of worry. Renji was right, in every way that was logical. That was what made the decision so difficult to make in the first place. "I do understand," he said finally, "I'm ready."

[[back to here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/264448.html?thread=20047104#t20167936)]]

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Allen sighed as he took a chair where they'd been sitting. "That didn't go as well as I'd hoped," he admitted, "but thank you for making an effort." He glanced back at the table where Rhode sat, praying there wouldn't be some kind of retaliation later for the incident.

Renji sat down slowly, easing into the seat. He'd only started picking at his breakfast; it was cold now, but that didn't make the rice taste any less good. He started eating again. "I think you're an optimist," Renji said. "But it's in her hands now. She's got her warning." He picked a slice of melon up off his plate and offered it to Allen. "That's about all you can do. Try not to worry about it."

Allen took the piece of melon and ate it slowly, since there wasn't much else in sight. He smiled his thanks and nodded; there were plenty of things here that he could occupy his mind with to keep from worrying, but he had a feeling it would still be difficult.

He gave a weak sigh, "I'll try."

There was something else he'd been meaning to ask about as well, since Renji did seem to know a lot more than he did about this place. "Um... I hate to trouble you further, but... I heard that people go missing here sometimes and um... I put up a bulletin, but there three of my friends that haven't answered it. One of them... a boy answered in his place, he said... that he'd seen Ravi last night, but he was wearing his old uniform and acting really strangely. Do you think maybe..." Allen's brows were knit together in concern, "I know he wouldn't be working for them, but... it can't be as he said, Ravi wouldn't hurt anyone like that. I keep thinking that maybe he escaped, if he really had his Innocence back."

Renji frowned. "People disappear all the time," he said. "I knew one that came back. But he didn't remember anything that he'd done here. And he remembered more stuff from back home than he had before." He shook his head. "I just know when they're gone, I can't find their souls any more. Which normally means they're dead, but maybe not in this case." He considered the rest of what Allen had said. "If he was just wearing his uniform... well, I found my uniform in my room last night, and that might've happened to other people. But if he had his weapon and was fighting the other prisoners... well, that happens. Every other night. They take some people, do stuff to them, and for that night they work on Landel's side, whether they want to or not." He stopped for a minute, staring down at his plate, his lips compressing into a thin line. No, he wasn't going to think about it. He gave his head a short, sharp jerk, then looked back up at Allen. "So it's not his fault, if that's what happened. On the nights they don't do that, that's when they take people up to that hallway and torture them."

He paled slightly, feeling sick just at the thought of so many terrible things. Ravi and Kanda and Miss Emily might be gone, might even be dead. And it sounded like Ravi had most certainly been taken and made to work for the institute. It was appalling to say the least. He wouldn't be able to stand it if it. He just hoped that if it were ever him, the people would have the sense of mind to run as far and fast as they could in the other direction. Or perhaps he'd be lucky enough not to remember it the next day, like the strange gaps in time from one day to the next. "But what happens to them after? I haven't seen him at all today." He glanced around the lunchroom as though to re-affirm his suspicions.

He remembered Renji mentioning the ones they took for their horrible experiments and torture. He remembered all too well when they'd come to take his roommate Sasuke. If he'd only known what it was they were taking him for, he could've put up a fight, done something to keep them from taking the other boy. "Like the night before last," Allen said quietly. "Isn't there anything more we can do about it?" Ravi and Kanda were strong, but Miss Emily? As far as he knew she could barely even defend herself. What if one of the monsters had got her? Or even Rhode? The two had seemed to have their disagreements and there was no way to be sure.

"After, far as I know, they wake up in their room and go about their day. And they remember what they did, at least some of it." That was pretty much the worst of it, he thought, the cruelty of people remembering their inability to control or fight against what they were doing. "So he should be around. He might be sleeping it off or something, though." Or too ashamed to show his face, but Renji wasn't going to voice that thought. He didn't know the guy Allen was talking about.

"All we can do is try to get them out of the rooms, at least let them know they weren't forgotten," Renji said. "The way to stop it is the same way to stop all the shit here. Kill Landel, destroy this place, escape." He frowned. "They take people out of their rooms, once we've been locked up for dinner. The rest of us don't even know until someone tells us. Though at least now, since we're in rooms with other people, someone does know." He shrugged one shoulder. "My first couple nights here, we were in rooms by ourselves."

"Maybe," he said, though there was some hesitation. Allen still appeared troubled by the news, but at least there was the chance that Ravi was still here. Kanda on the other hand, he hadn't seen the other boy at all, only heard that he was there from Ravi. Not that he wanted to see Kanda's face in the slightest, but he wasn't going to wish some awful harm on him either.

It sounded really difficult, Allen thought, to have to keep track of all of those things at once. How were they supposed to defeat Landel if he kept all of them busy at night rescuing their friends? It wasn't fair at all! Of course, that was probably the point, but it was all so frustrating! "Oh," he commented without much enthusiasm. Strategy had never been his strong point, so he didn't have anything to add. Renji and the others seemed to at least have some kind of plans and organization working for them.

He mulled it over, trying not to think about how bleak their situation was becoming and concentrate instead on how they were going to overcome it. His face lit up for a moment as he remembered the last thing he'd meant to ask about. He wasn't sure if Renji would know or not, but he was one of the best sources for information so far. "Ah- There was one other thing," he finished the melon and set the rind aside. "Do you happen to know what a... telepath is? I've never heard that word before, but someone on the bulletin mentioned it." He wasn't about to bring up what it was in regards to, but he couldn't help that his cheeks pinked slightly at the thought. Him! Wooing Rinali? That was just- He was only sixteen and- It wouldn't really- She was such a nice girl and- Allen took a quick drink from his glass and hoped Renji hadn't thought the question too strange.

Renji really wished he could offer Allen something better, some sort of comfort, but that wasn't really his way. The situation was unpleasant, and they were losing people right and left. "It's difficult," he said. "But we will win. Believe that your sword will not shatter, believe that we will return to fight, even a thousand times, and we will win." He gave Allen a rather fierce smile. Despite Renji's own personal doubts about himself, his own strength, that he could always believe; he - they - would never stop fighting, and in the end they would win. His absolute belief and confidence sounded in his voice.

He had to think for a moment, about Allen's question. The word wasn't familiar to him from home, but it was one that he'd learned here. It took him a minute to remember, though. Telepaths were... people like River. People like the guy on the bulletin board that he still hadn't met. "They're... uh... people that can read thoughts. I think. We don't really have those at home, not like that, but there seem to be people that can do it here."

It wasn't that Allen doubted they would escape or that Renji would make the doctor pay for the things he'd done to the patients here, but it still helped to hear it from someone else. Allen smiled back, small and hopeful and nowhere near as ferocious as Renji's. "I wouldn't doubt it," he assured. "And I'm not going to give up, don't worry." It was much easier to feel confident when he had a full stomach and was no longer being plagued by that strange tattoo.

The other news was a little more disconcerting. There were people that could read minds?! "Oh dear," he mumbled, his cheeks gaining a little more color. So that was what the man on the bulletin board had meant when he said he knew if someone was lying or not. But he hadn't thought he was! He liked Rinali of course, they were friends! But... but the man seemed to suggest that the way he felt about her was more than simple friends or co-workers. And if that was the case... it was going to make things much more difficult. What was he going to say the next time he spoke with her?! He couldn't trouble her with something like that! Not here of all places! "That... complicates things."

Renji nodded. Allen sounded better now, and definitely better than he had two nights ago, and that was all that really mattered. There was no need to speak about it further.

He rested one elbow on the table, chin on his hand, as he finished up the last of his rice. "How?" he said. "Have you been lying to them or something?" His tone was joking. Allen was such a good kid; he really couldn't imagine him lying to anyone.

"Well n-no," Allen glanced down at his hands, wringing them in his lap. "Th-that is, not intentionally. Er... I'm not sure quite... how to explain it, exactly..." His brow was worried, "I-it's not really a lie if I didn't know myself it was true or not, right?"

Why was it so difficult to explain such a simple thing?! "I don't even know who it was really, I was talking to them on the bulletin. But... they said something that... I didn't think was true, but they insisted. And now..." He glanced across the room to the place Rinali was sitting with another patient. "I'm not sure what to think." He hesitated a moment, "Ah- b-but it's really nothing important! I- ah- I was just curious a- about how a person could know something like that or... or not! That's all."

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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