damned_institute | Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

Hitsugaya left the chapel no less frustrated than before. The head doctor once again had chosen not to hide his face, yet promised he would be making an appearance at some time in the near future. He didn't like being patient, but there wasn't much choice. Either the head doctor would show his face, or he wouldn't. Renji had already seen him, and knew how to find him. That was enough.

The thought of eating made him slightly nauseous as usual, but he knew he needed to get his strength up. He could either be weak and try to force his way through brunch without eating anything, or he could be smart and actually give himself something to eat. And there was rice. Rice and fruit. He took a heaping pile of rice, and grabbed as much watermelon as he could fit on his plate, then proceeded to an empty table. He scanned the room, watching for Momo. He wasn't exactly looking forward to their conversation, knowing how she'd acted yesterday; however, he knew he had to speak to her, and there was a good chance that she would show more restraint now that the drugs were out of her system.

Thoughtfully he consumed his rice and waited.

[free at the moment, pester if you wish]

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"Hmm. I suppose when we've finished out mapping of the grounds we'll begin sending teams to try all the locked doors?" It was what she'd do, and the fact that there were rooms the institute took special precautions to keep them from should be reason enough for them to try to gain access.

And... "Do you need any help?" Signum somehow doubted Momo would be willing to let her feed her, but she figured she should at least offer.

The shinigami chose to not answer Signum's inquiry about the locked doors as it seemed like a rhetorical question to her. It was a natural progression of one aspect of the plan anyways. She simply nodded just to make sure the knight understood she'd been heard.

Momo was eyeing her food, deciding her plan of attack upon it, when the knight offered to help her. It was an innocent enough question, meaning to be helpful, but unfortunately the shinigami was holding tightly onto the little pride she had left.

She snatched the sticks up, narrowing her eyes in anger. "I may not be capable of anything else, but I can feed myself," she said in clipped tones. She stabbed the sticks into the rice, fumbled a moment, but then managed to get a decent chunk of it secured. Her hand was shaky as she brought it to her mouth, but make it she did.

It was a small, meaningless victory, but it was still a victory.

"You're capable of a lot, and you'll be back to doing it the sooner if you accept help now." Signum responded coolly. She was a bit annoyed at the response, and a bit annoyed at herself for not correctly gaging the emotional effect of her injuries on the shinigami.

There was nothing good about being injured, but it came with being a warrior. Strong knights lingered in beds. One of the facts of a life of conflict was that you were unlikely to spend all of it in optimal condition. With a worse injury, Momo might have ended up totally incapable of feeding herself- would she have then starved?

But the problem was, while Signum would not have acted the same way, she still knew plenty about pride. She hadn't been injured, but her uselessness in her fight on the bus the previous night had angered her. Scars were a trophy in triumph, but in defeat they could be a reminder of failures of skill. Momo's displacement of shame from the events that had produced the injuries to the injuries themselves, if that was what it was, was something Signum would have quashed out of pragmatism, but she could certainly understand it.

As soon as the words left Signum's mouth, the shinigami dropped her eyes. She was upset that she was letting everything get to her. She was upset that she let on how injured she actually was. And even more, she knew she wouldn't be able to argue with Hitsugaya when he ordered her to sit the night out.

"I'm sorry, Signum-kun. You didn't deserve that," she said with a sigh. "And you're right." She looked up. "But I can eat without assistance. It's just difficult and for peace of mind, it's something I need to do on my own without resorting to using my fingers. She managed a small smile. "Thank you for the offer, though."

"I would be in a better mood if the majority of my injuries were from the enemy and not myself. Gigai were not designed to contain reiatsu of my level. I'm slowly tearing it apart," she said, picking the sticks up again. She then gestured to her immobile shoulder.

"That's the only one from him." Her brow furrowed in displeasure. "Bastard shot me in the back unprovoked." Coward.

Thinking about accepting help, she pointed to the tiny cup containing the two white pills she'd spit out. "Do you know what... Vicodan does?" She then focused on the fish, carefully securing herself some; it was much easier than the rice.

Signum frowned disapprovingly. Shooting people in the back was generally good tactics, but that didn't mean she had to like it. That was how Aria Lotte had cut her down... pretending to be her ally, exploiting her connection to the Book, and attacking from concealment. What Momo had said about damaging her own body was bad, too- she'd realized that the girl was suffering some internal damage from using her magic, but either the damage was accumulating or the girl was pushing further and further beyond her limits. She needed to cut back or she'd destroy her own effectiveness, but how could you tell someone not to give their all in the situation they were in?

Signum did in fact know the drug, courtesy of Hayate's frequent stays in the hospital until the Reinforce's magic had allowed her full recovery from the damage the Book had inflicted. "It's a painkiller. A strong one, I believe."

Momo eyed the pills suspiciously. She trusted Signum knew what she was talking about, but that didn't mean she liked the idea of accepting a drug from their enemies. On the other hand, a painkiller would be a wondrous relief right now.

If they really were what the nurse said they were.

Now she was just being paranoid. Setting her eating utensils aside, she picked up the cup and brought it close to her good eye. Now that the pills were in focus, she could see the tiny words stamped on them that looked an awful lot like Vicodan and some number that had dissolved too much from her saliva to read.

"Huh. Do you know what the side effects are?" She contemplated taking them. She really didn't want to but if they would help...

"No." Signum had picked up the name of the drug, but Hayate hadn't been taking it so she hadn't had occasion to learn its effects.

She folded her arms. "They control everything we eat and drink, anyway. I think anything they give us openly during the day will be appropriate to our conditions." Signum's wasn't the most trusting mind around, and she probably would have thought twice about taking the pills herself, but her reason told her they were probably safe, and in the absence of any sort of strong instinct to the contrary her reason would inform her advice.

She had a point.

Momo stared at the pills a bit longer. "Alright," she said and then took them, making a bit of a face as she swallowed them with some water.

"Keep an eye on me over the next couple hours, please? In case there are mental side effects. I'd prefer to be stopped if I try to do something... stupid again," she said with a glance over at Hitsugaya. It was pathetic; she needed to talk to him about her command decisions, but she really just wanted to avoid him.

She sighed and went back to her food.

"Aa." Signum nodded her agreement.

She followed Momo's gaze. "What," she began to ask with a slight smirk, "is 'stupid' where the young captain is concerned?"

Momo eeped a little at Signum catching her glance at Hitsugaya and her cheeks colored. She hadn't meant for the knight to see that. She busied herself with her food as she considered whether to answer that question or not.

"Anything that resembles an interest in him beyond that of a superior officer. Such is highly inappropriate in the situation we are all in," she mumbled, her face still flushed.

"Not that he's capable of seeing... anything but duty anyways," she added on, sounding a little bitter.

"He does seem a bit dense." Not that she was one to talk. Her personal life would, in most eyes, leave a lot to be desired.

As to whether it was appropriate, she didn't have much of an opinion. Certainly there were bigger things to worry about, but the days were long and she could see the merits to an argument that there was no point in making their captivity more joyless than their captors did.

"A bit?" She laughed then, a short painful laugh that turned into a cough. "I asked him to hold me and he asked me WHY."

She stabbed viciously at her fish, glaring at it as the thing disintegrated into mush. "That's the last time I listen to Renji," she muttered. She then did a decent job mimicking Renji's gruff tones, "Guys generally know what to do. We have something of a talent for it."

She dropped the impersonation, her use of vulgarities indicating how much it was bothering her. "Know what to do, my ass. He'd actually have to have feelings first."

She pushed her food away and rest her chin upon her arm on the table. "Why am I telling you this anyways?"

"The right feelings." Signum hadn't touched her food so far, and instead stared at Momo, trying to decided how involved she wanted to be in this. She'd always thought it best to leave other people's personal affairs to them, but now that she'd been drawn into the conversation her tendency to play old-and-wise and give advice was pushing for an expansion into hitherto unexplored realms where her grounding was a bit less solid. She knew people pretty well in general, to be sure, but relationships were not her specialty.

What finally kept her talking, though, wasn't so much the impulse to give her advice or view in general as the fact that giving them to Momo in particular had become something between her job and hobby after the last few days. "He's known you for a long time, correct?" It sounded like it...

And yet here she was, still talking to Signum about her Hitsugaya problems. Maybe it was that the knight had no vested interest in the situation nor did she know about her ~~obsession~~ love for Aizen. Regardless, she continued to talk, only minorly conscious of Signum's focus upon her.

"Yeah. He came to Rukongai about a decade after I did. He lived with his grandma next door to me and my uncle," Momo answered. She shrugged. "All the other kids were terrified of him. He was a bratty little kid, yeah, but that was really only around me. Around others he was pretty quiet."

She paused and tilted her head a little. "I didn't understand back then why they were scared of him."

"I don't," Signum reminded Momo. Who would be scared of Hitsugaya? Surely he was a capable warrior, but he didn't look intimidating... but there was a lot about this society of spirits she didn't understand.

Momo had the grace to look a bit sheepish as Signum reminded her that she didn't understand the world of the shinigami. "Sorry about that," she said. "I'll try to explain it without using the shinigami terms for things."

She took a sip of water before settling herself in to explain. "A soul is a lot like the human body, some are simply stronger than others due to variables not directly controlled by the soul itself. Just like you have a human athlete that is a natural that doesn't require a lot of training to be good, in Soul Society there are souls that naturally have a high level of spiritual energy - what we call reiatsu."

The shinigami put a hand to her chest. "This is what I am. And just like that kind of human athlete, I become even elevate my level through hard work."

"But that is only part of it," she said, pausing to take another sip of water. "In many ways, the soul is like the human mind. Some people are just born with amazing intelligence. Every once in a while a child genius is born. Such a child has a vast intellect that is already elevated well above the average person, and as they grow and learn, they learn at a phenomenal rate, quickly surpassing everyone around them, including adults."

"The same is true in Soul Society. Hitsugaya was a child prodigy, a spiritual genius per se. His reiatsu levels were extremely high and as he grew, they grew faster than his control did. He was a veritable powder-keg and when he got emotional, he lost the little control he did have. The results weren't... pretty. So everyone was scared of him, afraid to be around him in case he lost control."

She sighed. "Everyone... except me."

So not just a close friend, then, but his first and only for a long time... questions raised about their little afterlife aside, it was illuminating.

"Can you see then why he would think of you as a constant, and see a change in your behavior as just a change in behavior with an external source, and not a change in yourself?" She asked, usual seriousness returned. She wasn't above occasional teasing, but this wasn't the time.

Momo chewed on that thought for a bit. She supposed that had whatever was going on no between her and Hitsugaya had happened back in Soul Society and not while they were trapped in some place that suppressed their reiatsu, not to mention the various brainwashing and control of the patients these people happen to also do, he might be a little more accepting.

"I suppose," the shinigami said, blowing a strand of hair up off her forehead. "It's not like I'm exactly comfortable with the way I suddenly feel. Not only is he my best friend that I've known forever and treated like a little brother, but just a couple days ago I tried to kill him."

Momo sighed in frustration. "Things made so much more sense when all I wanted was Aizen-sama and not a block of ice." It wasn't really fair of her to say such things, but her frustration was winning over her reasoning.

Signum shook her head. "You won't get through to him if you're not sure yourself. Everything you do will appear that much more a momentary distress." She let the comment about Aizen go.

That, she had already learned, was a landmine of an issue, and both obvious responses- referring to it lightly because Momo had, or taking it seriously after a passing reference- seemed unwise.

Next to the whole best friend growing up thing, her biggest issue was that she was so... plain. Momo knew Hitsugaya didn't have any interest in Rangiku, he didn't have interest in anyone as far as she could tell, but he had spent the last couple decades around her. How could he not compare the way she looked to the way Rangiku looked? Ran was very pretty and had a developed figure. Momo had accepted a long time ago that she just wasn't ever going to have decent breasts or an exotic look that most of the other female shinigami had, but she couldn't help but think that she just wouldn't measure up in Hitsugaya's book as to what a woman was supposed to look like.

Silly thoughts, yes, and her more rational mind told her so, but she couldn't help but think about them. It was easier back in the academy when she was younger and there was the 'cute' factor involved. In a way, it was easier when she'd gotten plastered with Renji - he'd told her, in slurred speech, she was beautiful then. Renji liked diminutive dark-haired women, but even Rukia had a somewhat exotic look to her. Momo was simply...

"That's easier said than done," Momo muttered. She fell silent for a moment before turning to the knight. "Signum, am I pretty?"

This was not a question Signum was particularly well-equipped to answer. Even she could look at someone like Testarossa and know she was attractive, and she'd picked up on some of what tended to attract Hayate's eyes... but she'd always held herself aloof from Japanese and Midchildan culture to a degree and had only been exposed to each for so long, which limited the terms on which she could make judgments on appearance.

"I think so." She answered noncommittally. Momo was fit, had an appealing face and fair skin... there were marks in the 'pretty' column and none in the 'not', and as far as Signum was concerned that made the answer 'yes.'

But Signum was aware that it wasn't her rather uninformed opinion Momo was really after. She might consider herself a good judge of others' minds, but she could hardly guess Hitsugaya's preferences in women.

Momo looked at Signum for a bit, almost like she was trying to decide of the knight was being truthful or not. After a moment, she gave the knight a tiny smile.

"Thanks," she said, meaning it. "It's nice to hear it from someone as pretty as you."

The shinigami decided she didn't want to talk about her pathetic lack of a love life and her even more pathetic attempt to try and have one again. She took a sip of water and assessed the knight next to her.

"Do you have someone back home?" She asked, effectively changing the subject. "And don't give me a canned answer that you don't have time for such things being in the military with your responsibilities and all that."

"No." Signum answered, putting her fork down and crossing her arms. If Momo didn't want a simple answer, she was getting an even simpler one.

And besides, Signum had been thrown by that comment about her appearance. She just didn't think of herself as 'pretty.' She was well aware there were elements to her appearance that could be considered attractive, but the whole being that was Signum didn't have any business being pretty, and in some way she felt this should override the small matter of what she actually looked like.

"Oh," Momo said, a little put off by the knight's change in demeanor. It's not often that Signum actively closed herself off, via body posture, like that.

"That's a shame. Someone would be very lucky to have you." She gave the knight a smile indicating she meant what she said. She then giggled a little as a thought popped into her head.

"I think Hokuto has a bit of crush on you," the shinigami said, picking up her chopsticks again and waving them a little. "One of those teenager things. I think it's cute."

Signum did that thing, the slight shift in her body and slow closing and opening of the eyes that was her way of sighing without making the actual noise. "Who exactly would be lucky to have me, Hinamori? My culture is dead, my history is a state secret, and I will always put Hayate before anyone else."

An enigma might be fun to chase after, and a few had tried, but a relationship required give-and-take and she had very little to give.

Signum's face took on a disgruntled cast at Momo's little revelation about Hokuto. "She doesn't need that kind of distraction," she said stodgily.

Day 29: Cafeteria, Brunch

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