damned_institute | Day 26: Men's Showers (fourth shift)

Luffy's Cat Lady seemed delighted by his enthusiastic response to taking a shower. Something about good hygiene and how starting good habits early in life would help him later on. Of course, the pirate wasn't really paying attention to any of that. He just liked the excuse to run around in a bunch of water without any clothes on.

Unlike Usopp, Luffy didn't really take notice of the way everyone seemed to shy away from talking to each other in the showers. Even if he had, he wouldn't have really understood it. People were people, whether they were naked or not, right?

His eyes lit up even further once he actually entered the showering area, though. Usopp was in here, too! That was great, especially since he'd been separated from Zoro and Sanji during this shift before. Now he actually had someone to play with.

"Yo, Usopp!" Luffy laughed, suddenly approaching his long-nosed friend. He held himself high, just like he would have even if he was fully clothed. In some ways, Luffy was the walking embodiment of "shameless".

"Luffy!" Usopp turned around at the call with a grin, also immune to the forces of modesty, at least when it came to his own body. "Isn't this bathroom great?! It's not as good as the one at Alabasta, but it's still pretty big!"

Already soaking wet, he shook his head to send some water flying. "Hurry up and claim a faucet, watch this!" Cupping his hand over the faucet he'd been standing under and then tilting his grip, he turned the flow of warm water into a little blast that he aimed towards Luffy's chest, though he did at least retain the intelligence to avoid the few bruises on Luffy's body. "Ha ha ha, come on!"

He'd noticed Sai standing in a corner, and a part of him was torn between going over to get Sai to join in or to let Sai keep his privacy. He finally decided that Sai might just be shy, so inviting him might put him on the spot. If he wanted to join in later, he'd be welcome.

"Yeah, this bathroom is awesome!" Luffy agreed with an enthusiastic punch into the air. True, it wasn't as cool as the Arabasta bath, like Usopp had said, but Luffy was pretty sure that had to be The Biggest Bathroom Ever. With the exception of the ocean, of course, and you couldn't even really try to compare to that.

He eagerly claimed a shower head and laughed when Usopp sprayed him in the chest. Even if he had got some of his bruises, he would have been too amused to notice right away. "Ack, you got me! But I have a secret weapon!" Without saying anything else, he reached for the removable nozzle attached to the wall and promptly sprayed Usopp in the face with it.

After sputtering a moment, he turned his face away and covered his nose and mouth with his hands enough to cry "Noo! I've been hit!" A momentary set-back, of course, as he turned and reached for his own nozzle, pressing it against the wall-mounted shampoo dispenser.

"Face my wrath! Usopp Bubble Attack!" Squeezing shampoo liberally into the spray of water didn't really result in as much bubbles as he might have hoped, but Luffy was probably getting pretty clean from the blast at least.

As he braced himself slightly spread-legged, completely failing to consider that this pose might be inappropriate, he and Luffy were probably taking the attention away from the shy washers if nothing else.

Luffy only laughed harder as the water blasted in his own face now, tiny bubbles sticking to him all the while. He got some of the soapy water in his mouth, but he was having far too much fun to really care. It was actually a lot of fun to play around in the water. Too bad people with Devil Fruit abilities couldn't swim, especially since he was surrounded by the stuff all the time when he was at sea.

But that just made bathing all the more exciting, right?!

Grinning, Luffy managed to pull away from the onslaught long enough to pump a bunch of shampoo and lather it up. Within moments, a thick foam of bubbles seemed to envelope both his hands, and charged towards Usopp with the intention of sticking it in his friend's face.

"Watch out, 'cause I'm bubble-Luffy now! Your bubbles can't touch me!"

It was nice that Luffy was at least immune to the effects of falling water; it'd be hard to enjoy the showers like this if Luffy were slumped over half-conscious.

"No! No! My one weakness!" Dropping his attack-showerhead, he backed up with far more fearful enthusiasm than the threat truly called for. But running backwards in even the largest public shower was not a good idea, he suddenly realized, with the chance of running into other patients. Tragically, that momentary lack of self-abandon let his foot hit the slippery ground wrong, and soon his legs had flown out from under him, and he landed hard on his rear. "Owww!" At least he didn't have any leech bites right there. And he hadn't run into anybody who was likely to pick him up and slam him against the wall like he'd seen happen earlier.

Luffy couldn't help but watch, stunned, as Usopp crashed onto the wet tile, busting his rear. It almost hurt just to watch! For a second, he thought about running over, checking to see if he was okay, and giving him a hand. But then he thought of something even better.

Without even hesitating, Luffy placed the giant mass of bubbles onto his chin and mouth. After glancing in the mirror to make sure the shape of it was elongated just right, he marched over to his long-nosed friend and crouched down enough to where they were eye to eye.

"Bubblebeard," he said simply, as if that explained everything.

There was another fight breaking out in here, he could hear it. Did people from other worlds just not understand how to bathe or something? Crazy people. Usopp groaned in pain and rubbed his poor tailbone...

Then Luffy's face descended into his vision, and Usopp's lips puckered with a spluttering noise for just a second before he cracked up with laughter, smacking his fist against the tile in violently mirthful appreciation of the deadpan delivery. Now that was humor!

"Bu... bubblebeard!" He agreed as soon as he caught his breath, and reached out for Luffy's arm to help haul himself up.

"Heeheehee!" Luffy beamed, apparently pleased with the reaction he'd gotten from his friend. He paused when he saw the fight breaking out on the other side of the bathroom, but was properly distracted when Usopp used his arm to stand back up.

Beard still on his face, the pirate examined Usopp more closely now. "I think you need one, too," he said, tone very serious. "Then we can be the Bubblebeard pirates!"

"Hmm, maybe, maybe." Usopp agreed, stroking his chin thoughtfully. He made a good effort at appearing calm and dignified, considering that he was stark naked and covered in horrible bruises and round wounds. As he pumped soap into his hands and began to work it into a good lather, he added, "Did I ever tell you about the time I grew my beard out as far as it would go? I probably went, oh, fifteen, sixteen years without shaving. My beard became so long, I wove it into a fishing net! I can't count the number of Sea Kings I caught with it. That was how men began to call me the legendary fisher king!"

Luffy's eyes widened at this particular tale, as if he were eating the whole thing up. Hook, line, and sinker. "Whoa, that's awesome, Usopp!" He'd seen some pretty long beards in his lifetime, but nothing like that!

Pausing a moment, the pirate scratched his cheek in sudden thought. "You know, you should grow a beard while we're stuck here. Maybe...maybe you could catch a giant shrimp with it!" He laughed, his eyes brightening at the thought. "That would be the best midnight snack ever!"

He slammed his fist into the palm of his other hand, a sudden revelation hitting him. "Maybe I should grow a beard too! I could catch all sorts of awesome stuff!" Never mind that he could already make a net with his stretching fingers, although it was a lot harder now that he was in this place. Either way, a net-beard sounded so much cooler!

"A giant shrimp?" Usopp tilted his head and raised an eyebrow skeptically, even as he applied his own suitably long bubblebeard. "Anyway, I made a sacred oath... a sacred, manly oath to all the great fishermen of East Blue that I would cut my beard and never grow another, since I was cutting into their profits so bad. I guess you could grow one, BUT--" He leaned forward, nose pressed against Luffy's (which put them at a reasonable distance from each other still,) eyes narrowed with great suspicion. His bubblebeard was in danger of merging with Luffy's. "Luffy, when was the last time you shaved?"

Luffy just didn't seem like the beard growing type. Maybe it was the rubber. If he had to pick someone in their crew to grow a great beard, it'd be Sanji. Sanji had more body hair than anyone else Usopp knew around their age, barring, well, reindeer.

"A sacred, manly oath," Luffy repeated, his voice oddly somber now. He gave a sage nod, as if he understood exactly what his long-nosed friend was talking about. "Oh, I see. Then, I guess you can't grow another beard again." He could respect something like that. In the name of everything sacred and manly.

"You know, I've never tried shaving before," he admitted, looking thoughtful now. "It never really came up. You think I should do it sometime?" He'd heard somewhere that, the more a person shaved, the thicker the hair would grow back. Maybe that would help make up for his lack of net-beard.

"As for the giant shrimp," Luffy said slowly, his nose pressed against the other pirates, "well...I guess it's more like a giant scorpion." He maintained a casual voice, the thought apparently not bothering him in the slightest. "You know, the kind that sting with their tails? I fought one not long after I got here, with Zoro."

That whole night had been a disaster, but Luffy just saw it as an opportunity well-spent to see something interesting. "I'll bet they taste good!" he added, coming to what he felt was ultimately the point of the conversation.

Of course Luffy would understand the weight of a sacred, manly oath between men of the sea. Even if it had been completely made up.

"Well, I guess you could try," Usopp answered the question of shaving, his bubblebeard slowly dripping to the shower floor as he stood still. "Wait, you have trouble with sharp things--better let someone else handle it for you at first. Someone with experience. Otherwise you'll wind up hurting yourself." He could easily see Luffy coming from the bathroom on the Merry covered in little bleeding cuts all over his face, with Sanji demanding to know what Luffy had done with his razor... or worse yet, he could see Luffy deciding one blade was the same as another and trying it with Zoro's swords.

Maybe Zoro was a good enough swordsman that he could cut off facial hair with accuracy, if asked. Not that Usopp would ever ask. Shaving already involved as much blade-throat proximity as his heart could handle.

Luffy's use of the word 'scorpion' brought Usopp out of his deep shaving thoughts. "Wh-what?! A giant scorpion?! How is a shrimp like a giant scorpion?" Okay, there might be some resemblance, but, "Giant shrimps are for eating, a giant scorpion is out to kill and eat you, it's totally different! Understand?!" Giant scorpions, tangled in body hair... Usopp shuddered violently, more of his beard dripping down at the movement.

"They'll give you a nice shave at some barber shops, won't they?" Luffy asked. Then, his eyes lit up, and he couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, hey, Usopp! Wouldn't it be neat if we had a barber shop on the Going Merry?" No matter that they all cut their own hair anyway. Or, rather, someone else usually cut his hair for him. But the idea of there being a Special Seat to get his hair cut sounded way cool!

By now, his bubblebeard had already started to melt off his face, and Luffy gazed at its remnants in the mirror with a mildly forlorn expression. As he did so, he couldn't help but notice the scattered death-slug bites on his upper body. They weren't nearly as bad as the ones Usopp and that other (cool) guy had gotten, but he had his fair share of new scars and marks he'd acquired since his arrival at Landel's. The one that stood out in particular was the scar that marked his hip -- fully healed, though forever marked by that bullet wound.

The thought might have depressed him further if it weren't for the fact that he liked to think it was the only scar he'd ever get from a bullet wound. And that counted for something, right? Almost like a special trophy! That was his bullet wound mark, after all.

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Riza lately. Where was she, anyhow?

He almost missed Usopp's reaction to there being giant not-shrimp-scorpions around. Turning to the long-nosed pirate, Luffy laughed. "Why can't you eat giant scorpions, too? It shouldn't be a problem as long as they don't eat you first, right?" He paused, scratching his cheek in thought. "But, it is kind of hard to eat them if you've been stung. But maybe you could manage it before the poison got too bad. Hmm..."

"Well, yeah, I guess you could go to a barber shop..." Usopp stopped. "We can't put a shop on the Merry, where would it go on the deck? And who'd come to it? That's a silly idea, it's not like people wander the sea hoping to find haircuts!"

Seeing Luffy's gaze shift, Usopp's did too. He wiped off the remainder of his beard, since it was really just spare drops and drips now, and tried not to look at the injuries on his or Luffy's body. As long as he didn't think about them, they didn't hurt all that much. His eyes did wander across the room, to where he'd spotted Sai... well, Sai had someone with him, that was nice. Maybe Usopp should get to know Sai's ninja friends too.

"You can't eat them because they're poisonous and you can't eat poisonous things!" That was logical, he thought. "And if you try to eat when you're poisoned, you'll probably... probably throw up or something! Besides, all the animals here are weird, they might have evil mutagens in them."

"It's not silly!" Luffy said, blinking in mild confusion. "You know Baratie? That does really good business even though it's in the middle of the ocean. I'll bet you could a barber shop there, and it'd get a lot of customers!"

The pirate's face fell a little as Usopp explained why it was a bad idea to eat the Giant Not-Shrimp, but then his eyes lit up. "Hey, you know, if Sanji were here, I'll bet he'd know a good way to fix it!"

He started humming as he reached up for some shampoo and began to lather it in his dark hair, as if the thought of a tasty, tasty nightshift dish had brightened his mood considerably.

"Right, that might work, but Baratie is a big ship built to be a restaurant, and it stays in one place so people can find it. We can't just sit Merry down in one place like Baratie; that'd mean no more adventuring, you know!" That should convince Luffy... assuming Luffy was listening, which was never an entirely safe bet. "I guess we could move around as a mobile shop, and maybe Baratie'd do okay like that, but that'd be because everyone always wants nice food. Haircuts and shaves are too specific! We'd just have to hope that we lucked onto people in the middle of the ocean who wanted a barber. Finally, and most important, Merry isn't large enough to have a shop added on!"

The mention of Sanji, though, brought Usopp short. "Yeah... I'd probably eat it if Sanji cooked it. But that's different, he can make food out of anything." It was silly to feel nostalgic for home again, he'd barely spent two days in this place. Two days, but it felt like weeks. Luffy's been here for weeks. The thought made Usopp feel guilty, even though he didn't think his captain really minded the 'arguing' they'd been doing.

So, as Luffy started to wash his hair, Usopp lathered up his wash towel and started to scrub Luffy's back for him, almost as an apology. It wasn't particularly strange; on the occasions that the male members of the crew had bathed together, mutual back scrubs had been accepted as perfectly normal, even if Sanji did sometimes get distracted with fantasies concerning Nami's soapy back instead.

"Well, it could just be our own barber shop," Luffy said after a moment. "You know, just for us to use. Then we could still have our barber shop and go awesome places!" The bit about Merry's size didn't deter him, either. "It could be a small one!"

Yeah, he had to agree that Sanji could make a fantastic meal out of anything here. Maybe even the stuff he and Usopp would wind up stealing from the kitchen. "Well, he was here awhile back," Luffy said, his tone oddly confident. "But I know he'll be back. Zoro, too. There's no way anything bad would happen to those guys." And he knew they didn't just leave him or anything like that. No, Zoro and Sanji would definitely come back someday.

They had to, right?

The pirate was mildly started when Usopp started washing his back for him, not because it was strange, but because he simply hadn't heard him approaching from behind. As he continued lathering his hair, Luffy glanced back at his friend with a bright smile. "Thanks, Usopp!"

"It's not really a shop if people don't come to it and pay for services. It's more of just a, uh, place. A small one, eh? Like just one chair?" That could be done. Barbershop chairs were usually screwed firmly into the floor anyhow, so Usopp wouldn't have to worry about that heavy piece of furniture falling over in a storm and causing trouble. "Maybe we can get you a little barbershop, I guess." Though considering that nobody on the Merry was a professional barber, it was a bit silly to contemplate buying a chair for it. Well, maybe they could take turns. Usopp could shave himself well enough, eliminating the ~~sparse~~ extremely manly and numerous hairs that attempted to grow on his face. And Sanji obviously knew a bit of style in that area. It wasn't impossible, at any rate.

Usopp was occupied with his thoughts as he scrubbed, but not so occupied that he didn't answer. "You're welcome. And yeah, we're definitely seeing those guys again--either here or back home when we bust out. Maybe we'll meet them halfway. Them coming in to rescue us while we're getting out." It was a nice thought. He'd read about 'alternate timelines' and such on the bulletin board, but he was sure this was his Luffy, at least, even if a little time-displaced. The Zoro and Sanji that had been here? Maybe, maybe not. He couldn't worry about it when he hadn't even met them. But the possibility that they'd gone home to their own universes to find a full and healthy crew of the Merry would explain why they hadn't tried to come back to rescue, if they had broken out. Or maybe their frozen bodies are hidden in the basement, like yours was for two weeks while Luffy was out and about. That was a silly idea, and it was also not worth thinking about. Even if the intercom guys had talked about basements, kind of...

Luffy beamed at the idea of having their own barbershop. Somehow, it didn't occur to him that maybe Nami wouldn't approve of spending the money to install one. It was probably for the best, though. Luffy liked the idea of having a cool barber seat on the Merry a lot!

The pirate listened to his long-nosed friend as he scrubbed his back clean. It had been a long time since he'd had a chance to bathe with anyone from back home, so it was a nice change of pace. Especially when looking at how shy everyone in this place was. It was really funny!

"Yeah, that'd be awesome if we met them halfway," Luffy said brightly. He didn't really understand the whole differences in timeline thing that people had been talking about, so the idea of Zoro and Sanji returning home to find everyone all right hadn't even crossed his mind. In fact, he was positive he would see them again.

"Hey," he said suddenly, "do you think we could go to the kitchen to get some food -- no, no, no, I mean, some stuff to get Roy to make a sword with? It'd be really tasty -- uh, useful if Zoro came back for us and they to took his swords again, don't you think?"

Usopp hadn't mentioned the possibility of alternate Zoros and Sanjis out loud this time since there was no sense in asking Luffy to wonder, or worry, about it. It wasn't that Luffy couldn't handle bad news, but this wasn't even 'news,' just speculation. And explaining it so Luffy'd follow was also a challenge Usopp wasn't quite up to at the moment...

"Right, I was thinking we should go back to the kitchen tonight too," Usopp agreed. Not exactly like a raid on Sanji's domain, but the principle was the same. "Sai said we could meet with him and all go together; he's the ninja guy from last night who helped us out." He hesitated, not sure how to put this next part. "I think he's a guy who could use more friends around here." That was straightforward enough, if oversimplified. "So, we can finish the raid we were gonna go on last night! I need some stuff there too. What does Roy need to make a sword?" Usopp literally winced at the word 'sword,' but he couldn't deny it--Zoro could make do, if he had to, but Usopp knew he'd really rather have swords. And for that, they could add another onto the list of four million bladed weapons people were demanding from Roy. If Zoro did show up, maybe it'd be nearly his turn in line to get the sword made. I bet Zoro's got more use for a sword than any of those guys anyhow.

Roy's suggestion that Usopp post the offer to make less traditional weapons on the bulletin board hadn't been forgotten, but Usopp was a little wary. He'd thought maybe he could work through the Cooking group on that. On his own, he didn't care to be either mobbed or worse, ignored, and frankly he had his own arsenal to work on. If people wanted swords, let 'em wait in line for them. Even the short sword he'd personally promised the unconscious Sai... Usopp Factory would find a solution, sans magic.

"Really?!" Luffy couldn't help but turn back towards his friend, dark eyes practically glittering with excitement. "We're gonna go to the kitchen tonight? All right!" He was more than pleased to hear the guy from last night would be coming with them again. Even though Luffy didn't know much about him, he hadn't forgotten what he'd done for them last night.

"Sure, I'll be his friend," Luffy said with a firm, confident nod. "He seems like a cool guy!" Friends were always good to have, of course, but they seemed especially important in a place like this. It was always good to have people watching out for each other, after all.

"I think we need metal if we want Roy to make something good," Luffy explained. "The last time Zoro and I tried to get something for him, it didn't work. But the building has changed since then, so maybe things'll be different." The pirate didn't bother elaborating beyond that. "Besides, I promised him I'd get him a bunch of stuff, so I still wanna do it even though he isn't around right now."

Luffy paused for a moment before a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Oh yeah...that treasure we got last night. It's in my room. But don't worry - I hid it from the Cat Ladies." He seemed particularly pleased with himself. "Am I clean yet? I think it's your turn to get scrubbed."

"Metal's easy enough in the kitchen, but what do you mean it didn't work? The metal was wrong or something?" Usopp twisted his lips a bit as he thought. If he were going to go gathering metal, he'd at least want to be sure it was the right kind. Well, that wasn't so important, really--he would need a lot of metal himself. Surely something they grabbed would work. "We'll just grab a lot of different kinds." Also food, although Usopp didn't want to say that out loud and get Luffy too excited. Some snacks for nighttime, and hopefully he'd be able to find some dried or prepared meat he could keep around for Luffy. Though it'd undoubtedly go fast. It would definitely be Sai carrying the food and not Luffy.

Cat Ladies? Some kind of thieving monster? "That's good... bring it out when you come out tonight? I wanna look over it a little more," Usopp answered about the treasure. "I'll probably wind up bringing it back to my room for working. I was also hoping we could go outside to the gardening shed if we have time. I think I'll be able to get some more supplies there..."

Something was nagging at the back of his mind. Remembering, he added, "A guy I met before I caught up with you is gonna try to meet with me outside our rooms tonight, so you can meet him too. He said he needed help, but I think it's going to be asking me to build something."

Usopp stepped back a moment, hand on his chin, and looked over Luffy's body carefully before answering, as though examining a work of art. "The back is clean!" he finally announced.

"No, that wasn't it," Luffy replied. "The door to the kitchen was locked, and then a giant Not-Shrimp came at us, and I got stung." That had brought at an abrupt end to that night's adventuring. Actually, Luffy didn't remember a whole lot of what happened after they'd discovered they couldn't get inside the kitchen. Just that it hadn't been very fun.

The pirate moved around behind Usopp with his washcloth and began to scrub his friend's back. He grinned. "But, I think we'll have better luck tonight! We got that treasure last night, right?" Usopp was pretty smart. If they came across any locked doors, Luffy was sure he'd be able to figure out a way around it.

"I'll bring the soldiering iron when we meet up," Luffy agreed. He was very interested in hearing that Usopp already had plans to build things, though. "What are gonna make?"

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