damned_institute | Day 26: Men's Showers (fourth shift)

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Day 26: Men's Showers (fourth shift)

The concept of showering with a bunch of children terrified him, but he refused to let it show. He was over 130 years old, and they wanted him to get naked and bathe, surrounded by kids very nearly a tenth his age. It was certainly inappropriate. On the other hand, he had to shower. It was his third day in this asylum, and he had not been given the opportunity for a shower yet. The idea of wiping off the filth of the last two nights seemed ideal.

Thankfully, he seemed to be the first one there. Maybe if he were quick about it, he could shower and leave before too many of the children came in. He got undressed, and stared at the showers for a second. They were significantly different from the ones he was accustomed to, but after a small amount of trial, error, and scalding hot water, he managed to figure out the system.

He'd just need to get through the showers quickly and efficiently, and then get the hell back to the sun room.

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Of course Luffy would understand the weight of a sacred, manly oath between men of the sea. Even if it had been completely made up.

"Well, I guess you could try," Usopp answered the question of shaving, his bubblebeard slowly dripping to the shower floor as he stood still. "Wait, you have trouble with sharp things--better let someone else handle it for you at first. Someone with experience. Otherwise you'll wind up hurting yourself." He could easily see Luffy coming from the bathroom on the Merry covered in little bleeding cuts all over his face, with Sanji demanding to know what Luffy had done with his razor... or worse yet, he could see Luffy deciding one blade was the same as another and trying it with Zoro's swords.

Maybe Zoro was a good enough swordsman that he could cut off facial hair with accuracy, if asked. Not that Usopp would ever ask. Shaving already involved as much blade-throat proximity as his heart could handle.

Luffy's use of the word 'scorpion' brought Usopp out of his deep shaving thoughts. "Wh-what?! A giant scorpion?! How is a shrimp like a giant scorpion?" Okay, there might be some resemblance, but, "Giant shrimps are for eating, a giant scorpion is out to kill and eat you, it's totally different! Understand?!" Giant scorpions, tangled in body hair... Usopp shuddered violently, more of his beard dripping down at the movement.

"They'll give you a nice shave at some barber shops, won't they?" Luffy asked. Then, his eyes lit up, and he couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, hey, Usopp! Wouldn't it be neat if we had a barber shop on the Going Merry?" No matter that they all cut their own hair anyway. Or, rather, someone else usually cut his hair for him. But the idea of there being a Special Seat to get his hair cut sounded way cool!

By now, his bubblebeard had already started to melt off his face, and Luffy gazed at its remnants in the mirror with a mildly forlorn expression. As he did so, he couldn't help but notice the scattered death-slug bites on his upper body. They weren't nearly as bad as the ones Usopp and that other (cool) guy had gotten, but he had his fair share of new scars and marks he'd acquired since his arrival at Landel's. The one that stood out in particular was the scar that marked his hip -- fully healed, though forever marked by that bullet wound.

The thought might have depressed him further if it weren't for the fact that he liked to think it was the only scar he'd ever get from a bullet wound. And that counted for something, right? Almost like a special trophy! That was his bullet wound mark, after all.

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Riza lately. Where was she, anyhow?

He almost missed Usopp's reaction to there being giant not-shrimp-scorpions around. Turning to the long-nosed pirate, Luffy laughed. "Why can't you eat giant scorpions, too? It shouldn't be a problem as long as they don't eat you first, right?" He paused, scratching his cheek in thought. "But, it is kind of hard to eat them if you've been stung. But maybe you could manage it before the poison got too bad. Hmm..."

"Well, yeah, I guess you could go to a barber shop..." Usopp stopped. "We can't put a shop on the Merry, where would it go on the deck? And who'd come to it? That's a silly idea, it's not like people wander the sea hoping to find haircuts!"

Seeing Luffy's gaze shift, Usopp's did too. He wiped off the remainder of his beard, since it was really just spare drops and drips now, and tried not to look at the injuries on his or Luffy's body. As long as he didn't think about them, they didn't hurt all that much. His eyes did wander across the room, to where he'd spotted Sai... well, Sai had someone with him, that was nice. Maybe Usopp should get to know Sai's ninja friends too.

"You can't eat them because they're poisonous and you can't eat poisonous things!" That was logical, he thought. "And if you try to eat when you're poisoned, you'll probably... probably throw up or something! Besides, all the animals here are weird, they might have evil mutagens in them."

"It's not silly!" Luffy said, blinking in mild confusion. "You know Baratie? That does really good business even though it's in the middle of the ocean. I'll bet you could a barber shop there, and it'd get a lot of customers!"

The pirate's face fell a little as Usopp explained why it was a bad idea to eat the Giant Not-Shrimp, but then his eyes lit up. "Hey, you know, if Sanji were here, I'll bet he'd know a good way to fix it!"

He started humming as he reached up for some shampoo and began to lather it in his dark hair, as if the thought of a tasty, tasty nightshift dish had brightened his mood considerably.

"Right, that might work, but Baratie is a big ship built to be a restaurant, and it stays in one place so people can find it. We can't just sit Merry down in one place like Baratie; that'd mean no more adventuring, you know!" That should convince Luffy... assuming Luffy was listening, which was never an entirely safe bet. "I guess we could move around as a mobile shop, and maybe Baratie'd do okay like that, but that'd be because everyone always wants nice food. Haircuts and shaves are too specific! We'd just have to hope that we lucked onto people in the middle of the ocean who wanted a barber. Finally, and most important, Merry isn't large enough to have a shop added on!"

The mention of Sanji, though, brought Usopp short. "Yeah... I'd probably eat it if Sanji cooked it. But that's different, he can make food out of anything." It was silly to feel nostalgic for home again, he'd barely spent two days in this place. Two days, but it felt like weeks. Luffy's been here for weeks. The thought made Usopp feel guilty, even though he didn't think his captain really minded the 'arguing' they'd been doing.

So, as Luffy started to wash his hair, Usopp lathered up his wash towel and started to scrub Luffy's back for him, almost as an apology. It wasn't particularly strange; on the occasions that the male members of the crew had bathed together, mutual back scrubs had been accepted as perfectly normal, even if Sanji did sometimes get distracted with fantasies concerning Nami's soapy back instead.

"Well, it could just be our own barber shop," Luffy said after a moment. "You know, just for us to use. Then we could still have our barber shop and go awesome places!" The bit about Merry's size didn't deter him, either. "It could be a small one!"

Yeah, he had to agree that Sanji could make a fantastic meal out of anything here. Maybe even the stuff he and Usopp would wind up stealing from the kitchen. "Well, he was here awhile back," Luffy said, his tone oddly confident. "But I know he'll be back. Zoro, too. There's no way anything bad would happen to those guys." And he knew they didn't just leave him or anything like that. No, Zoro and Sanji would definitely come back someday.

They had to, right?

The pirate was mildly started when Usopp started washing his back for him, not because it was strange, but because he simply hadn't heard him approaching from behind. As he continued lathering his hair, Luffy glanced back at his friend with a bright smile. "Thanks, Usopp!"

"It's not really a shop if people don't come to it and pay for services. It's more of just a, uh, place. A small one, eh? Like just one chair?" That could be done. Barbershop chairs were usually screwed firmly into the floor anyhow, so Usopp wouldn't have to worry about that heavy piece of furniture falling over in a storm and causing trouble. "Maybe we can get you a little barbershop, I guess." Though considering that nobody on the Merry was a professional barber, it was a bit silly to contemplate buying a chair for it. Well, maybe they could take turns. Usopp could shave himself well enough, eliminating the ~~sparse~~ extremely manly and numerous hairs that attempted to grow on his face. And Sanji obviously knew a bit of style in that area. It wasn't impossible, at any rate.

Usopp was occupied with his thoughts as he scrubbed, but not so occupied that he didn't answer. "You're welcome. And yeah, we're definitely seeing those guys again--either here or back home when we bust out. Maybe we'll meet them halfway. Them coming in to rescue us while we're getting out." It was a nice thought. He'd read about 'alternate timelines' and such on the bulletin board, but he was sure this was his Luffy, at least, even if a little time-displaced. The Zoro and Sanji that had been here? Maybe, maybe not. He couldn't worry about it when he hadn't even met them. But the possibility that they'd gone home to their own universes to find a full and healthy crew of the Merry would explain why they hadn't tried to come back to rescue, if they had broken out. Or maybe their frozen bodies are hidden in the basement, like yours was for two weeks while Luffy was out and about. That was a silly idea, and it was also not worth thinking about. Even if the intercom guys had talked about basements, kind of...

Luffy beamed at the idea of having their own barbershop. Somehow, it didn't occur to him that maybe Nami wouldn't approve of spending the money to install one. It was probably for the best, though. Luffy liked the idea of having a cool barber seat on the Merry a lot!

The pirate listened to his long-nosed friend as he scrubbed his back clean. It had been a long time since he'd had a chance to bathe with anyone from back home, so it was a nice change of pace. Especially when looking at how shy everyone in this place was. It was really funny!

"Yeah, that'd be awesome if we met them halfway," Luffy said brightly. He didn't really understand the whole differences in timeline thing that people had been talking about, so the idea of Zoro and Sanji returning home to find everyone all right hadn't even crossed his mind. In fact, he was positive he would see them again.

"Hey," he said suddenly, "do you think we could go to the kitchen to get some food -- no, no, no, I mean, some stuff to get Roy to make a sword with? It'd be really tasty -- uh, useful if Zoro came back for us and they to took his swords again, don't you think?"

Usopp hadn't mentioned the possibility of alternate Zoros and Sanjis out loud this time since there was no sense in asking Luffy to wonder, or worry, about it. It wasn't that Luffy couldn't handle bad news, but this wasn't even 'news,' just speculation. And explaining it so Luffy'd follow was also a challenge Usopp wasn't quite up to at the moment...

"Right, I was thinking we should go back to the kitchen tonight too," Usopp agreed. Not exactly like a raid on Sanji's domain, but the principle was the same. "Sai said we could meet with him and all go together; he's the ninja guy from last night who helped us out." He hesitated, not sure how to put this next part. "I think he's a guy who could use more friends around here." That was straightforward enough, if oversimplified. "So, we can finish the raid we were gonna go on last night! I need some stuff there too. What does Roy need to make a sword?" Usopp literally winced at the word 'sword,' but he couldn't deny it--Zoro could make do, if he had to, but Usopp knew he'd really rather have swords. And for that, they could add another onto the list of four million bladed weapons people were demanding from Roy. If Zoro did show up, maybe it'd be nearly his turn in line to get the sword made. I bet Zoro's got more use for a sword than any of those guys anyhow.

Roy's suggestion that Usopp post the offer to make less traditional weapons on the bulletin board hadn't been forgotten, but Usopp was a little wary. He'd thought maybe he could work through the Cooking group on that. On his own, he didn't care to be either mobbed or worse, ignored, and frankly he had his own arsenal to work on. If people wanted swords, let 'em wait in line for them. Even the short sword he'd personally promised the unconscious Sai... Usopp Factory would find a solution, sans magic.

"Really?!" Luffy couldn't help but turn back towards his friend, dark eyes practically glittering with excitement. "We're gonna go to the kitchen tonight? All right!" He was more than pleased to hear the guy from last night would be coming with them again. Even though Luffy didn't know much about him, he hadn't forgotten what he'd done for them last night.

"Sure, I'll be his friend," Luffy said with a firm, confident nod. "He seems like a cool guy!" Friends were always good to have, of course, but they seemed especially important in a place like this. It was always good to have people watching out for each other, after all.

"I think we need metal if we want Roy to make something good," Luffy explained. "The last time Zoro and I tried to get something for him, it didn't work. But the building has changed since then, so maybe things'll be different." The pirate didn't bother elaborating beyond that. "Besides, I promised him I'd get him a bunch of stuff, so I still wanna do it even though he isn't around right now."

Luffy paused for a moment before a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Oh yeah...that treasure we got last night. It's in my room. But don't worry - I hid it from the Cat Ladies." He seemed particularly pleased with himself. "Am I clean yet? I think it's your turn to get scrubbed."

"Metal's easy enough in the kitchen, but what do you mean it didn't work? The metal was wrong or something?" Usopp twisted his lips a bit as he thought. If he were going to go gathering metal, he'd at least want to be sure it was the right kind. Well, that wasn't so important, really--he would need a lot of metal himself. Surely something they grabbed would work. "We'll just grab a lot of different kinds." Also food, although Usopp didn't want to say that out loud and get Luffy too excited. Some snacks for nighttime, and hopefully he'd be able to find some dried or prepared meat he could keep around for Luffy. Though it'd undoubtedly go fast. It would definitely be Sai carrying the food and not Luffy.

Cat Ladies? Some kind of thieving monster? "That's good... bring it out when you come out tonight? I wanna look over it a little more," Usopp answered about the treasure. "I'll probably wind up bringing it back to my room for working. I was also hoping we could go outside to the gardening shed if we have time. I think I'll be able to get some more supplies there..."

Something was nagging at the back of his mind. Remembering, he added, "A guy I met before I caught up with you is gonna try to meet with me outside our rooms tonight, so you can meet him too. He said he needed help, but I think it's going to be asking me to build something."

Usopp stepped back a moment, hand on his chin, and looked over Luffy's body carefully before answering, as though examining a work of art. "The back is clean!" he finally announced.

"No, that wasn't it," Luffy replied. "The door to the kitchen was locked, and then a giant Not-Shrimp came at us, and I got stung." That had brought at an abrupt end to that night's adventuring. Actually, Luffy didn't remember a whole lot of what happened after they'd discovered they couldn't get inside the kitchen. Just that it hadn't been very fun.

The pirate moved around behind Usopp with his washcloth and began to scrub his friend's back. He grinned. "But, I think we'll have better luck tonight! We got that treasure last night, right?" Usopp was pretty smart. If they came across any locked doors, Luffy was sure he'd be able to figure out a way around it.

"I'll bring the soldiering iron when we meet up," Luffy agreed. He was very interested in hearing that Usopp already had plans to build things, though. "What are gonna make?"

"You got stung? That must have really hurt!" Usopp pursed his lips. Sure, Luffy could take giant Not-Shrimp stings, but Usopp wasn't built of such stern stuff! He'd have to keep an eye out. "But I met monsters the first time I went to the kitchen too. Nothing scary like that, though, just some bats." Well, the demon in the Sun Room had been scary, and the triangle-head man walking around outside the cafeteria had been scary, but the kitchen itself had been blissfully serene after they'd killed bats. And the shrieking and terrified swatting technique he'd used to slay the bats was nothing that needed to be shared. Though the mental image of Yuber's intense gaze as he watched that one impaled bat struggle remained a little disconcerting. Still, they were allies, even if Yuber had some questionable taste in how to kill monsters. So Usopp'd do his best on whatever Yuber needed done.

"Well, I have a few plans here and there... it'll be easier to say what I will and won't make after I've got more stuff, though." Usopp rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he was scrubbed by his friend. "Hmm... do you want anything? I know you're more used to fighting bare-handed, but since you've been weakened... Maybe some kind of improvised hand weapon? If we could get some gloves..."

Luffy laughed a little, pausing in his scrubbing long enough to rub the back of his wet hair. "Yeah, it did hurt!" he replied simply, as if they were talking about something mundane like the weather. "Then it got really hard to walk, and then I don't remember much else. I might have died if Zoro hadn't been there, you know!" For some reason, that only seemed to make him laugh harder.

"Oooh, bats, huh?" The pirate couldn't help but be curious about all of that. He hadn't seen anything like those since his arrival. Maybe they'd run into some tonight! That would have been fine by him. After conquering a bathroom full of leeches, Luffy was ready to take on anything else the Institute might throw their way. Not that he wasn't to begin with, but, well, victories only fueled Luffy's sense of excitement even more. "Are they easy to kill with frying pans?"

As far as other weapons went, Luffy hadn't really given it much thought. "I dunno," he admitted. "I guess a hand-weapon would be pretty neat. I'm used to fighting with my fists anyway, so it's not like I can aim, or use swords, or control the weather, or anything like that."

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Day 26: Men's Showers (fourth shift)

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