Day 73: Library (2nd shift)

[redcladidealist]

Don't let them snoop? If Lloyd didn't already know the secret the library held, that would have practically been asking him to poke around as much as his nurse would let him. But since he did know about the trick to the secret door, he settled instead for searching for Kratos or Castiel. If he didn't find one of them this shift, he'd have to think about putting up a note on the bulletin, but considering what he wanted to talk to them about, it would probably be better if he kept it off the board and spoke to them in person.

"Here, why don't you settle down with a nice book, Nigel?" his nurse encouraged him as she guided him toward a chair. "Poor dear. I noticed you didn't eat anything for breakfast. Maybe you just need to get your mind off of whatever's tying your stomach in knots."

Lloyd made a face at that comment, unable to hold himself in check. "Maybe if the doctors gave me my Key Crest back it wouldn't be a problem."

His nurse sighed, shaking her head. "I thought you were making more progress than that, Nigel. Here," she said, handing him a book. "I'm sure a good book will help."

Lloyd grumbled, but accepted the book anyway, albeit reluctantly. He should have known better than to expect anything from his nurse. Rather than cracking the book open, though, Lloyd set it in his lap and watched the room. Surely one of his companions would come in soon...

[For Castiel.]

Comments

[dividedby]

She'd been here. She'd just been here, and he'd failed to stop Landel from taking her away again. Just like he'd failed to prevent deaths and disappearances before, and very likely how he'd failed to prevent X and Harpuia from disappearing, too. Was Landel that powerful, or was it Zero's fault? If he'd decided to actually stay by Ciel's side rather than stand out in that hallway, maybe she'd still be...

A familiar voice thankfully interrupted that train of thought, although in Zero's current state, he almost wanted to turn around and glare down that voice's owner, maybe even go so far as to say something bitter to get her to go away. It wouldn't be fair; she hadn't done anything wrong. But Zero wasn't in the mood to be fair or nice.

Yet somehow, he restrained himself. Snapping would take too much effort in his current state of shock, and Zero didn't care enough to create that effort. "...Lana." He could at least mutter that much, but he didn't turn to look at her. Instead, he kept staring ahead, at nothing in particular.

As for her question... ...Maybe he'd answer in a moment. Later. Or never. Why did it matter...it wasn't like talking about it would bring Ciel back.

[fourstonewalls]

While his answer didn't tell her anything about what had happened, it did speak to the magnitude of it. He wasn't focusing on her, though he'd recognized her and was deliberately ignoring her rather than being completely unresponsive.

None of them had time to waste with grief. She wasn't letting herself think about what might have happened to Ema, because if she let her facade crumble, she'd never get to know the truth. And Zero didn't have that luxury either.

"Sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves isn't going to bring anyone back," she said, taking a guess. Death and disappearance were the two likeliest causes, and that covered both.

[dividedby]

Even though he hadn't said anything about what had happened, Lana seemed to understand anyway. Zero didn't consider how obvious his shock probably was on the outside, and that Lana would understand because of Ema...but then again, he wasn't quite thinking clearly right now...

At least this meant he didn't have to explain anything.

"...I know," he said softly, while finally turning his head to make eye contact with her. Really, she was right. He knew deep down that she was right. Just because others had fallen or disappeared didn't mean that he should just give up. But for the first time in a long while, he was having trouble accepting it, or even pretending to accept it. Without any way to stop it from happening, he kept losing allies...including the people who mattered most to him. If he couldn't even protect them, then what matter of good could he do...?

Part of him wanted to voice these insecurities...but even if he said them, Lana was still right. And Ciel...believed in him. Even though she wasn't here anymore.

[fourstonewalls]

She hadn't wanted to be right. Expected, but not wanted. Now to go for what mattered -- which wasn't, for once, a straightforward answer to any question, but to get them both moving in the same direction.

"The past two nights, at dinner, I've gotten some strange messages left with my things." And then been able to do absolutely nothing about them; tonight she would go up alone if she had to, but she was used to working with a partner. "I know I'm not the only one, but it would be good to compare, ah, notes."

[dividedby]

The change of subject was ultimately helpful, even if Zero didn't immediately see that; it would allow him to (try to) take his mind off of Ciel in such a way that linked with the sentiment of not giving up. Shifting focus to the new, biggest development in the Institute - the mysterious notes at dinner - reminded him that yes, things were still going on whether he wanted them to or not. And he couldn't just sit here and let them happen.

...But before that realization fully hit, another one finally crossed his mind: Ema. That's right, Ema...Lana understood more than he'd originally realized. She was likely still setting aside her loss to keep fighting... So perhaps...he could try harder in at least pretending to accept his losses, too.

(At around this time, the nurse also returned with a few books in hand, not that Zero noticed. However, the moment she saw Lana, she stopped in her tracks and stepped away, seeming actually a little content that Mr. Suzuki was being social at a time like this.)

"...I also got a note last night," Zero said, speaking less softly now. "My roommate got two. ...What did yours say?"

[fourstonewalls]

Lana flipped to the back of her notebook, where two pieces of paper were pressed between the pages. The first was vague, and merely pointed them towards the library. The second, on the other hand, had a lot of specifics. Pieces that might fall into place like laying out a perfect case, but that would require getting up there.

She shielded the page from prying eyes with her body and the front of her notebook, without making it too obvious that she was doing so. "There's a password." What she didn't point out was the ominous tone -- that they needed two teams, simultaneously, when there'd been little evidence anyone had made any progress on either goal. "Anything else to add?"