damned_institute | Day 67: Breakfast

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Day 67: Breakfast

For the first time since Kyousuke arrived, waking up didn't feel the slightest bit strange or out of place. It was still like night had suddenly stopped, with nothing in-between then and now, but instead of being disorienting, or like there was something missing, it was like waking up from a nightmare. His breaths came heavy and anxious, everything flooding back to him, but unlike last night, he had more mental clarity, and he actually understood what it meant.

Sora... was dead.

After a moment, his breathing seemed to ease up, and he sat up slowly, and simply stared down at his blanket. The motion hurt quite a bit, a lot worse than it had yesterday morning, but he seemed to be in decent shape, all considered. Sore, battered, a little faint, but compared to worst of it...

He wondered if he should feel upset right now, or want to yell, or cry, but the truth was, he didn't. If anything, he was just numb. Tired and listless. He wasn't sure what to think or feel about anything, but somehow it seemed distant and disconnected, like something that hadn't actually happened. Yet, if he lingered on it too long, the lifelessness grew into something nauseating, heavy and constricting in his chest, and he didn't even notice until he realized he was gripping his bedding unnecessarily hard. So he forced himself to relax, and not focus on it too much. ... He preferred the cold sort of nothingness.

When the nurse arrived, she wasn't empty-handed, unfolding a wheelchair by his bedside and looking at him expectantly, as if she wanted him to settle himself into it. Looking at it was strange and uncomfortable, and he found himself refusing automatically.

"... I can walk fine. I don't need—"

"What you don't need," the nurse said sternly, "is to be overexerting yourself. You got to walk around yesterday, and what do you do? You go and reopen your injuries! Honestly, Mr. Taylor, you might be young, but you need to take better care of yourself! Today, you're resting, and if you're good about it, we'll see about maybe taking the chair away tomorrow."

That was bad enough, but then she wouldn't even let him wheel himself, and pushed him along from behind. This was totally unnecessary... But though it made him feel helpless, Kyousuke didn't have the energy to argue, so he let her do what she wanted. She asked if he wanted to make a quick trip the bulletin, first, but... Would the news be there? There were people who deserved to know, but there would be reactions to it, questions he didn't want to answer, and feeling his stomach give a lurch, he decided he didn't want to deal with it. Any of it.

Once in the cafeteria, the nurse asked him about breakfast, but Kyousuke insisted he wasn't hungry. ... He wasn't. Sensing he wanted to be left alone, she wheeled him off to an easily overlooked portion of the cafeteria, but quickly returned, setting food and some juice in front of him, "just in case." She set a small paper cup with a couple of painkillers on the tray, and after that, she left, leaving the boy to stare down the meal he didn't really want.

[ Kratos! ]

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Just like last night and the night before, Lloyd woke up back in his room without any memory of how he'd returned. This time, though, something was different. As he uncurled slowly, he realized that his hands were clutched around a book.

A book...

Ishida's journal...

That was right. He'd taken the journal from Ishida's room to use the maps the other boy had drawn to help guide him, Inoue, and Karkat through the halls in their search for him. The last thing he remembered, they still hadn't found him-

"Good morning, sleepyhead!"

The cheerful voice wasn't one he was familiar with, belonging to a nurse with a round, friendly face who bustled into the room. The woman made her way to the side of Lloyd's bed, resting a hand on the teenager's shoulder. "Come on, Mr. Clarke, it's time to wake up! You don't want to miss breakfast, right?"

Mr. Clarke. Mr. Clarke. Somehow that felt even more foreign than when he was being called Nigel. But she was smiling and it was hard to feel more than a flash of irritation. "It's Lloyd," he said, pushing her hand away so that he could sit up.

The nurse sighed, then patiently patted his arm. "Still not remembering, huh? It's all right. We'll get you there soon, I promise. At least your arm is healing up nicely. See? You might even be able to take the bandages off this evening, so long as you behave and don't do anything that might aggravate anything."

Glancing down at his arm, Lloyd realized she was right. The fresh bandages that had been put on at some point didn't seem to hold anywhere near as much gauze and covered a smaller area. He couldn't see the bandages on his ribs, but the injuries there felt a lot better, too. They still twinged when he moved, but it was a vast improvement compared to before. I'll have to remember to thank Inoue again...

Somehow, though, he didn't think he should mention Inoue's healing to this woman.

"Where's the other nurse?" he asked instead, partly curious and partly to distract the nurse before she could think to wonder why his arm had healed so fast.

"It's Alan's day off." The nurse smiled again and pulled on his arm. "Now come on, let's go get you some breakfast."

With his stomach already growling at the thought of food, it was hard to say no to that. Lloyd stood up and took a step, then hesitated and looked down at his hands. The journal was still there. "Hang on," he said, shaking her off and moving over to his desk. He had a journal, too, though he hadn't written in it. He grabbed that and a pen, then turned back. "Okay, I'm ready."

Not questioning the move, the nurse led him out, murmuring something as they walked about how writing in his journal was a good idea. Lloyd didn't feel like correcting her assumption. Instead, he just followed her into the cafeteria and sat down once he had his food. As soon as she stepped away to let him eat, though, he pulled out both journals and flipped to the page in Ishida's that had the maps he'd drawn. He wanted to give Ishida's journal back, and had no intention of reading whatever else might be in the book, but those maps would be useful to have for himself. He didn't think Ishida would mind if he only copied that much.

Between bites of waffles, he carefully copied the layout of the halls and rooms. Every so often, though, he looked up and scanned the room, hoping to spot the journal's owner, or anyone he knew. With his attention distracted, he knew there was a good chance he'd miss his friends if they came in, but if all else failed, he could always put a note on the bulletin. Backup plan in mind, he quickly set back to work.

[Free.]

Well, well. What an unusually pleasant surprise. The night had come and gone without any disaster; in fact, it had actually ended rather well, with Zero and his allies managing to get the supplies they'd searched for the night before last without a single nasty surprise from Landel or his monsters. And to make things even better, Zero actually woke up on time this morning instead of sleeping in and missing most of the day.

Of course, that didn't mean nothing serious had happened in the Institute in general, or that others weren't sleeping when they shouldn't be. He and his friends were probably just lucky...

But Zero wouldn't know if anything had happened for sure until after breakfast. Apparently he had woken up so early that the bulletin board was completely empty when his nurse allowed him to stop by it on the way to the cafeteria. That didn't stop him from leaving a note that he and Leanne had wanted to make yesterday, though (with which he'd tried his absolute best to be as subtle as possible, although he wondered later if he had tried a little too hard). He hoped he'd see a response to that after breakfast, too.

For now, taking in some energy would be a good idea. The once-Reploid hadn't eaten anything the day before thanks to his unusually long sleep, and so he and his stomach were actually looking forward to a bit of 'recharging' with food for once. He gathered up some things on a plate (waffles today - he was actually starting to learn what half of this stuff was called), and then he found himself a seat across from someone unfamiliar who had two journals spread out in front of him. ...Curious sight. Though Zero chose not to say anything to the man - or at least, not yet. He instead got to work cutting up some of his food...but even so, he couldn't help but keep a curious eye on what the other man was working on.

In the middle of sketching out a more complex section of the map, Lloyd didn't look up at first when someone sat at the table with him. Despite the fact that arts and crafts was one of his best subjects in school, drawing itself was something he wasn't particularly good at. He was better when it came to physical stuff, building or sculpting things. Things on paper were something else, especially when he was using a pen and couldn't easily go back and fix any mistakes he made along the way. This was important, though, so he was trying to take time and care, making sure he got doors where they were supposed to go and the halls as straight as he could with the exact same number of rooms connecting where they should. It still wasn't perfect, not even close, but he figured it would be passable enough to use to help him navigate the halls.

It was a minute before he reached a spot he felt comfortable pausing at. Feeling the other's attention on him, he glanced up and met the stranger's eyes. He blinked back, just as curious about the blond. Had he really been doing something that was that interesting to watch?

Figuring he might as well say something, if for no other reason than to be friendly, he let the pen rest in his hand and sat up. "Um, hey," he said tentatively. "...did you want to talk to me?" He guessed the answer was yes, but it didn't hurt to ask. The other guy could tell him if he was wrong.

Hmm... It looked like the other man was making a map of some kind, from what Zero could tell. A map of the Institute? That would make sense (and it gave him a good idea - to ask later if X and Harpuia had maps, too). It also made him question how long this particular prisoner had been here if he was just getting a map. His face wasn't familiar, and not just because Zero had never talked to him before...he also couldn't recall seeing this man around on previous days. True, he could have missed him, especially since he'd spent yesterday sleeping, bu...

...oh. Seems the man noticed he was being stared at.

And Zero kept staring, ignoring the man's question for a few seconds. This was...slightly awkward, admittedly. It wasn't like he was opposed to talking to the man, but his staring had been without the intention of striking up conversation. Too late now... Might as well at least say something.

"Not really," he answered honestly, resuming cutting up his food. "Just noticing your work." He put a piece of waffle in his mouth and pondered something as he chewed; then he couldn't help but ask in the middle of chewing: "Are you new?"

Oh. So he hadn't been reading the other's interest right. Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck for a moment, then decided it wasn't that big a mistake to make. He didn't mind going ahead with the conversation anyway.

"Yeah," he said. "I've been here a couple days." He gestured at the two open notebooks. "This isn't really my work. I'm just copying some maps a friend of mine made. I, uh, sort of borrowed his journal." He still wasn't sure how he ended up back in his room still holding the journal. If he was carried back unconscious, wouldn't he have lost his hold on it?

The other man's eating reminded him of his own half-eaten plate of waffles, still sitting on the table a little to the right of the book he'd been drawing in. Setting the pen down, he picked up his utensils and forked a bite into his mouth. "What 'bout you?" he asked, swallowing - just as bad with his manners when it came to eating food.

At least Zero could (unknowingly) be glad that he was in good company as far as bad table manners were concerned. He could continue to talk with his mouth full in peace - like he was just about to do right now.

"A week," he answered before swallowing a second bite of food. So his assumption about the other man had been somewhat correct. It wasn't his first day, but he certainly hadn't been here for long, either. At least the man had already found a way to get some vital information...knowing where everything was located was a critical part of surviving here. But how much did he really know? How much had he experienced so far? Those things were also important. And Zero didn't mind explaining anything that needed to be explained, if necessary. Whatever would increase the chances of another's survival...

"So you've already seen what this place is capable of." The once-Reploid was going to assume that, by being here a couple days, the man already knew the basic rules of this place: days were structured and 'nice', and nights were a random test of survival, with the occasional 'all hell breaks loose' bonus round. 'Everything's unpredictable' was another good rule, but that one went without saying, especially when one was here long enough to constantly experience Landel's love for screwing them all over.

At least Zero had a better excuse for his lack of table manners. If he'd only been eating for a week, when would he have had a chance to learn not to talk with his mouth full of food? Lloyd, on the other hand... Well, growing up out in the woods with only a lone gruff dwarf as his main teacher and role model, manners hadn't really been something Lloyd was exposed to all that much. Dirk had tried, to a certain extent, with better success in some areas than others, but when it came to food? Lloyd figured all was good so long as people understood what he said.

In the middle of another bite, he used his tongue to push the food in his mouth to the side before answering. "Some of it," he said. His expression turned serious. "I've heard about the sickness, and what the doctors here do. I haven't really seen much of it for myself." And he'd prefer to keep it that way. "Some of it doesn't make any sense, though." He paused here and swallowed, wanting to clear his mouth. Then he set his fork down and pulled one of the journals around so Zero could see the layout. His finger traced a path from the door of the institute outside and away from the building.

"The first night I was here, some friends and I broke out, but something happened and we woke up back here, but I don't remember what. That happened again last night, too, except I wasn't outside. What I don't understand is, if we're prisoners, and if they caught us, why did they let me keep things when they brought me back? Even things they wouldn't want me to have."

Fortunately, Zero could certainly understand what the other man was saying despite his talking with his mouth full. Understanding was important - especially when it came to discussing such things as the Institute, and how things worked. (Or how no one quite knew anything about how things worked.)

The once-Reploid listened intently, chewing another piece of waffle in the meantime, and this time he waited to answer until he had swallowed. For once. "Things here don't always have a reason," he said, lightly shaking his head. "I think it's intentional so Landel can confuse us, to keep us from figuring out what his plans really are."

That was the only good explanation he could come up with, anyway. The rest of it was just questions, questions, and more questions. The only 'answers' were theories. Sigh. What a wonderful, frustrating system Landel had going on here. It was all in his favor...

"...And I don't know why they let us keep what we find," Zero continued, as he prodded at the bacon on his plate with his utensil. "But it's probably a way for him to keep things more interesting." After all, he could easily let his prisoners fight monsters with nothing but their bare fists...but they wouldn't last nearly as long as if they had a weapon of some kind. Was he perhaps trying to 'weed out' the weak from the strong? Made some sense... Zero pondered that theory as he popped a piece of bacon in his mouth.

"Will they always let us keep what we find?" Lloyd's tone was curious, but the question was intent. The answer would make an incredible difference to how he approached the night. Maybe I should take something with me to carry anything I find... Pockets could only hold so much, after all. Maybe a pillow case...

"You make it sound like he's doing this for fun." Which was hard for Lloyd to swallow. How could anyone enjoy making other people suffer? How could they do that with no other reason at all? Even the Desians in the Human Ranches had a reason for what they did, even if it was one that Lloyd hated and felt was wrong. They made humans suffer so that Exspheres could be created. Was there something like that here? Lloyd pulled his plate back closer as he mulled the thought over. Not bothering with a knife, he used his fork again to cut off another bite. "Does anyone have any idea what it is they do in this place? Why they brought us here?"

The bite of waffle went in his mouth while he waited for the other's response.

"So far, it seems so." After all, if Landel let Zero keep such things like a medical kit and a handgun... There hadn't been a time yet where something he had stolen had not been in his room the next evening. Hopefully it stayed that way.

As for the rest... Zero could only slowly shake his head, a frown creasing his otherwise emotionless face. "Everyone wants to know that," he said, setting his eating utensil down on his plate for a moment so he could focus his attention solely on the other man. "But if anyone actually knows, they aren't telling us. Landel won't say anything, either." And again, he most likely wanted it to stay that way.

"I don't know how likely it is that we're all here for some specific purpose, but I wouldn't be surprised if that tyrant kidnapped us just for his own amusement..." Landel wasn't the only power-thirsty madman Zero had ever known, after all - and based off of personal experience, people like that didn't always do things that made sense to anyone else.

"I'll have to keep that in mind." He made a note to remember that when evening came again. It would make it a lot easier to fight this place, or escape, if he could collect supplies beforehand.

It was hard not to be frustrated, though, when his tablemate couldn't give him a solid answer for Landel's actions. His fork jabbed sullenly into the waffle as he fought against the idea - the very real idea, he knew - that this place might just be someone's idea of entertainment. Outrage boiled in his gut at the thought, threatening to explode. He wanted to shout, wanted to hit something, but he couldn't. He'd been warned what would happen if he did. His hand clenched into a fist before he forced it to relax.

"Well, even if we don't know why, it's still wrong." It wasn't an argument. He wasn't trying to convince this man of anything. It was an angry statement of fact he knew they both agreed with. "I guess we don't need to know why. We just need to do something to stop it." He just didn't know what that something was yet.

Looking up from his waffle, it finally occurred to him that neither of them had introduced themselves yet. Putting down his fork, he held out his hand. "I'm Lloyd."

Of course. Knowing why Landel was doing this might be helpful in some ways, but in the end, no reason could ever justify what that sick man was doing here. Zero didn't reply in any outward way to the man's outraged statement, but he still agreed with it internally. Stopping Landel should be everyone's first priority, regardless of the true purpose of this place... He was not going to get away with this. No matter what.

...As for the rest. Zero continued to stare when the man - Lloyd - introduced himself, although he only took the offered hand after a few awkward seconds of no response on his end. "Zero," he said, then retracted his hand with as much grace as he had accepted it with - meaning absolutely none. The same hand found the utensil on his plate so the former android could continue eating.

There were other things he might ask about now - Lloyd's origins, or what else he might be confused about, for starters. But Zero said nothing, only putting more food in his mouth and staring at Lloyd in case he had anything to ask first.

"Zero?" Lloyd echoed the name with a hint of uncertainty. It was a pretty strange name to him. His name was really a number? Something that meant nothing? It was enough to distract him from Zero's lack of grace. Anything else... Well, Lloyd had already been injured himself. Maybe the same was true for Zero, just not as visibly as the bandage on Lloyd's arm was.

Either way...

"It's good to meet you." That wasn't a lie. Even if Lloyd might not have ever met Zero if not for this place, even with what he'd gone through and what this place did, he wouldn't let that make him regret meeting the people here.

His hand free again, and his curiosity momentarily satisfied, he forked another bite of waffle into his mouth. "'hanks," he said. "F'r answering my ques'ions."

Zero noticed Lloyd's slight uncertainty after the former android said his name, but he declined to comment, using his mouth to chew the last bite of waffle from his plate instead. There wasn't much he could say about something he didn't understand. Was 'Zero' such an unusual name? Perhaps to a human, if that's what Lloyd had always been, but Zero didn't have enough interest to ask about that. It wasn't any of his business when Lloyd was practically a stranger and there was no informative reason for such a question in the first place.

If it were still Zero's first week, he wouldn't have hesitated to ask. But now, when he understood that most people here came from different worlds and were often different creatures before being changed into humans, there was less of a point besides learning about what other worlds were out there... And that wasn't something Zero was eager to do this morning, when there was so much else to worry about.

So he quietly nodded his head when the other thanked him and then turned his attention to the rest of his food. The one last important thing he was going to ask - whether Lloyd was still confused or had any further questions - was just answered. Anything else to say...no need to. Silence was okay with him right now...

For the moment, Lloyd was content to concentrate on his food. He was hungry and he'd always had a healthy appetite, and being in this place didn't change that. It only took him a few minutes to clear off the rest of his plate, leaving him just a glass of juice to finish off, and he considered getting up to get more food. His eyes drifted back to the two journals, though. Then he looked at Zero contemplatively.

"So, if you've been here longer than me, can you see anything on this map that I missed that you know about?" He had no idea how complete Ishida's map was, except that it didn't include the second floor. The halls were all labeled, and some of the doctors' offices and group therapy rooms. One box was labeled "Greenhouse?" The question mark was scribbled out on Lloyd's copy, though. It had only taken him a minute to realize he'd been to that room and could confirm that that was what it was.

Zero had taken their moment of silence to mean that the conversation was over, but then Lloyd broke the silence to ask him another question after not too long. It didn't really bother the former android, though; it was relevant to what they had been discussing beforehand, and it was something important about the Institute. Besides, his plate was pretty much clear at this point, too - although unlike Lloyd, he was quite satisfied with what he had eaten and wasn't about to consider seconds.

But he would consider the question that was asked, of course. Zero leaned forward in his seat a bit so he could take a closer look at Lloyd's maps. They seemed accurate enough...although: "You're missing the second floor," he commented. Stating the obvious, of course, but that was really the only glaring detail he could see that was missing at the moment.

"I can't tell you everything you might be missing without my own maps to compare," he continued, sitting himself back down, "so you should check the bulletin board later. Someone usually puts up maps every day of both floors and they have most of the important labels on them."

"Yeah, I knew I was missing the second floor." He probably should have thought to mention that before asking Zero that question. Oh well, too late now, and even though the other man had only been able to repeat what Lloyd already knew, he'd still given him a piece of information that was incredibly valuable. "Someone puts up maps?" He hadn't noticed that yet. "I'll have to take a look after breakfast."

Which seemed to be about to and end, in fact, the nurses already starting forward to mix into the crowd of patients. Guess I won't be getting seconds after all. The silent lament was brief, but with only a little regret. He knew he'd spent a lot of time copying from the journal instead of eating. It had been worth it, as far as he was concerned. Those maps would be useful later on.

Spotting his own nurse approaching, he quickly finished off his juice. "Hey, thanks again."

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Day 67: Breakfast

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