Day 66: Sun Room (Second Shift)

[his_legacy]

Link wasn't in the mood for 'rest and relaxation,' as the boss had put it. Daytime here was completely unproductive, and it was frustrating. There was little he could do, other than keep up with recording his map. He supposed he ought to take the chance to get to know the other patients: Who was powerful, who needed help, who knew what... Perhaps some of the people who had been here longer. Link was lucky he had Sora as a friend, who seemed to know a good deal about how things worked.

It was a two-edged sword, though, that the boy had to have been trapped here for quite some time to be as settled as he was.

The Hylian settled into a chair with his journal, tapping the strange sort of writing device he had been given against his chin. It had become evident last night that the building was relatively organized, the second floor being similar in its main layout to the first floor. That was somewhere to start, at least.

[Nina, dearest!]

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[freewill]

When Castiel's hands were taken by Gabriel's, he continued to stare down at them. Human flesh against human flesh, with blood and veins existing underneath the skin. But it wasn't true to either of them, and he didn't know if the contact was anything other than troubling for him at the moment. He was trapped in this form that didn't heal properly, that broke down on him, that made him ill. He wanted nothing more than to spread his wings and fly away from all this, but it wasn't that simple.

The idea of Joshua being wrong was hard for Castiel to swallow. If anyone would know of God's true place or purpose, it would be Joshua. Maybe the Voice of God was represented by something else, where this Gabriel came from.

But as Gabriel went on to explain his own experience, the way he and his siblings had reacted to a Father who didn't wish to explain Himself in any understandable way, it was hard to know what to make of it. Castiel had been revived and there was still no explanation for that. If His Father was behind it, then that mean He truly had expected Castiel and two human boys to take on the Apocalypse alone. If so, then Castiel was willing to do that; in fact, free will or not, he believed he had no other choice.

Though as far as he was concerned, he'd already Fallen. He'd done it because it had been the right thing to do, and he wasn't going to circle back on that now. "I searched," Castiel admitted. "For a long time, I searched for a sign from Him, and found nothing. I've had to take matters into my own hands. Maybe you're right and He's observing somehow, but I doubt it." Castiel would either earn that approval or he wouldn't, but he wasn't structuring all of his actions around it anymore.

[impudentsongbird]

"And He is incapable of hiding from you, if He so wished?" Gabriel asked gently, holding Castiel's gaze. "Our Lord can be found in many things, Castiel. A sunset. A child's laughter. A couples' love. The things He enjoys which many people overlook in favour of what they believe He would think is more important."

That Castiel might believe the same put an ache in Gabriel's chest. Right now, in these moments, the younger angel seemed more human than any angel Gabriel had known. Of course, Gabriel must have seemed painfully the same at times.

"Sometimes its hard to see the signs, simply because of our own expectations. I disobeyed His direct command and expected to be damned, and almost was because of that expectation. It wasn't until afterward that I could see all the little things He said and did to encourage me to take my own will all along."

He smiled then, and it was as gentle as his words--gentle but with a calm, unwavering faith. Only once had it wavered. Only once, and Gabriel counted that against himself, not his Lord. "He is. Just because He's hard to see doesn't mean He isn't watching."

[freewill]

Gabriel made it sound simple, echoing back words and feelings that Castiel had thought to himself countless times. He'd believed for so long, but that belief hadn't gotten him anywhere. Maybe it had spurred him on at first, but now he was acting based on what he thought was right, not his Father.

If Gabriel was to be believed, then that was what God wanted all along, but something there still didn't fit. If God wanted his angels to have free will, why had he kept it from them in the first place? It was true that Castiel (and other angels) had managed to throw those chains off, but only with plenty of suffering.

Either way, it was clear that the two of them weren't going to agree on this, and so Castiel decided to let it go. He pulled his hands away from Gabriel's and bowed his head. "Perhaps I'll learn the truth someday, but for now it remains mysterious." Gabriel seemed so at peace with it all, and Castiel didn't know if he should feel pity or envy for him.

He was too tired to make a decision either way, and the sounding of the intercom came as a relief to him. If he had any luck, in the next shift he could avoid such heavy conversation and get some rest.

[impudentsongbird]

"If there wasn't a bit of mystery in life, would it be any fun?" Gabriel asked with a quirk of his lips and the laughter of life-enjoyment in his eyes. But there was still a gentleness there too, an acknowledgement that Castiel had places to go before he could accept again.

So Gabriel let him pull his hands away and glanced toward the nurses before back to Castiel again. Only a brief examination let him see the weariness in the other angel's eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I've tired you when you needed rest."

Stupid of him, really. The Archangel rose, bending to place a light kiss into Castiel's hair, fingers brushing the younger angel's temples. In that touch he infused some of his calm, his faith, his hope. His love. A tangible thing, to help Castiel rest. "Be at peace, little brother."

Then he turned, brushing himself off, and smiled at his nurse, and let her lead him away.