damned_institute | Day 60: Music Room (Fourth Shift)

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Day 60: Music Room (Fourth Shift)

It wasn't often that Renji felt less like punching people in general as his day wore on. This was a new experience for him. A not unwelcome one, if he was being honest. And the fact that he felt less like punching Fai? Kind of mind-blowing. The sort of thing Zen masters would probably use as a kouan to reach an all-new level of non-punching enlightenment.

So he was back from the dead, almost everyone he'd known was gone, and yet bizarrely his day felt like it was looking up. Kind of. Renji wasn't sure what to make of this. Maybe his grumpy meter was just nearing empty. That was as good an explanation as the next, considering how this place made him feel.

Whatever the reason, he ended up in the music room. And he remembered oh yeah. He'd always kind of hated this damn shift. He grabbed a little book of music and a drum and retreated quickly to the far end of the room. He put the drum down in front of him just so he looked like he was doing something and opened the book. But he had no idea how to read music, and really, he was more interested in the ongoing puzzle of what the hell had happened in the last four weeks.

And brooding. Of course. There was always brooding to be done.

[Okay Tolten, let me lay it out for you. When there's a mommy and a daddy... or sometimes a daddy and a dadddy. Or, hell, sometimes a mommy and a mommy if you buy the right kind of wood cuts (and a third mommy if you go to just the right shop)... but anyway when they love each other very much, or at least a suitably large amount of money changes hands, there are some things that happen...]

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It never ceased to amaze him that there were people who actually tried to play the instruments. And it was even more amazing that some of them didn't suck horribly. Like the guy that had taken a seat pretty near him. The kid seemed to actually know how to play, which Renji could appreciate. He was no great connoisseur of music, but it was nice when someone didn't keep hitting sour notes or whatever.

After a minute Renji gave the kid a nod, just as a sort of thank you for not raping his ears. The music was completely unfamiliar to him, but it wasn't bad. And hey, at least it was good that someone was kind of enjoying himself.

Tolten was both flattered and a bit embarrassed that his playing had garnered attention. Music was one realm where he had few self deprecating thoughts. He knew he had a talent for it, but that talent had always been frowned upon by his father. What use was a king who could make pretty music, if that king felt ill at the sight of blood?

But that hadn't stopped him from pursuing stringed instruments as a hobby. And after the dissolution of the monarchy and his father's death, he'd had plenty of time to devote to it. In private.

Now he found he was playing for an audience, and it was...odd. He knew full well that people heard him when he took up his lyre, but they weren't right there. He felt rather like a tavern player, or something like that. It was a humorous and almost fun little fancy.

The young king cleared his throat and lifted his eyes to the red haired man who's attention he'd caught. His fingers moved more quickly over the strings, the melody growing more complex. "If you've any requests, I can do my best."

At the very least he could offer up a preferred genre!

Renji laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Kind of doubt you'd know anything I could suggest. The music I'm used to sounds pretty different." He shrugged. "If I'm bothering you, kid, just tell me to get out of your face. Just kind of surprised to run across someone that can actually play much of anything."

"No, probably not," Tolten agreed. He didn't even know popular modern songs from his own country. He had always preferred ballads and old hymns and the like. He knew the one song, of course, but that was simply from hearing it over and over and over for weeks on end.

It was still stuck in his head.

"But if you'd prefer something slower...or with a different feel..." Now that he had reacquainted himself with playing, he moved beyond a simple folksong. Without thinking much - at least with the part of his mind that he was aware of - he found himself plucking out the notes to a sweet love song from the high northern mountains, deep in Ipsalon. Pretty and high, but with a strange haunting sound beneath.

"You aren't bothering me. It's only a hobby, really, and one I'm pleased I'm allowed in this place. If you enjoy it as well, all the better."

Renji shrugged. "I'm not too picky. Don't know much about music, never really cared about it. As long as it's not opera. Never really got into that." He could sing a drinking song as well as the next guy, sure, but that would require drinking. And having more fun than was really possible in this shithole.

He snorted. "Guess it's good you got a hobby you can get away with." If Renji had a hobby, it was probably reading, and he hadn't been all that impressed with the collection of books on offer. Besides, he normally had more important stuff to worry about.

"We don't have opera in my country," Tolten responded honestly. He was rather certain they had in Gohtza. But now... was there any opera left in Plank? Oh, surely. It wasn't as though every single facet and fragment of northern life had been annihilated. The haunting tones in the music became more pronounced as he thought of the now-wasted north and he tried to turn his thoughts away.

"It's helpful. The music, I mean. It helps to quiet riotous thoughts, which are all too prevalent here. And without some diversion a man can go mad." That lesson, at least, he had learned well. Even in the midst of chaos, hell and damnation, a person needed to find joy and simple things to keep the mind from breaking neath the strain.

Of course, it seemed as though he had plenty of 'diversions' he could be devoting his attention to now. Midday meal with Mikado had been a distraction, and had taken Tolten far enough away from his most recent problem to relax, but....

Now he found his mind circling right back to it.

"You're lucky," Renji said, a touch grimly. "It's like listening to dogs howl."

Whoever this guy was, the way he spoke reminded Renji a little (uncomfortably) of Byakuya. Very, very cultured. "Huh. Well, glad you got a diversion, then." Renji wondered if maybe he should try to come up with a similar thing to do... like read more often. But it just seemed to take a lot of time away from trying to get other stuff done.

...not like he was getting much done today anyway. But it was his first day back. Hopefully he'd be more useful tomorrow.

He sighed, stretching his legs out. "Everyone's got plenty on their minds."

Though that could be said of anyone, anywhere, Tolten had to agree. He'd much rather be dealing with mundane political problems than most of this.

"I think it would be impossible not to," he said, however. "Bad enough to have troubles, worse still to have them far from home and family." Not that he had family, precisely, but certainly friends. Loved ones, at least. "But lamenting about them isn't going to make them any easier to bear. And there is truth to the sentiment that family is where you find it."

He didn't think of himself as alone anymore, that was certain. He did have people here, even if those friendships were tenuous and new. He was certainly managing better at it this time. Though it begged the question: if he could barely manage to connect honestly with people enough to spark friendships, how on earth was going to manage sparking anything more intimate?

Once more his fingers moved with his thoughts, the strings of a bawdy brothel song slipping from the instrument he held.

Renji's eyebrows went up at the changing tone to the music. He had no idea what it was, without words to it. But the kid seemed to be thinking about something else as he played. Who knew.

"Only family that counts is your friends. They're the ones you're not stuck with." Renji snorted. "Makes it rougher around here, as fast as people disappear."

Speaking of making friends... they'd been talking for a while. "What's your name, kiddo?"

"I don't have any blood family anyway," Tolten said, shaking his head a bit. There was little sorrow or pain in the statement, it was simply a fact. His parents had both been dead for over ten years now. But he didn't like the reminder of people disappearing. Even as short a time as he'd been here, he had known a few people who had suffered that fate. Not well, but well enough to recognize their names on the board and call to mind memories of their talks.

And goodness, he'd gone and done it again. Just as he'd been chastising himself in arts and crafts about this very thing!

"Please, pardon my abandonment of manners. I swear I wasn't this rude before coming here!" He laughed quietly, for to him it was a joke, and inclined his head to his companion. "My name is Tolten. From Plank."

Renji laughed. "I don't have any blood family either that I know of. It's not a big deal." Obviously, he must have had parents and maybe even siblings at some point, but he didn't remember any of it sharply enough to make a difference. He'd died young.

"Oh. Tolten. The--" Renji managed to stop himself before he said the word virgin and also the word eunuch, but barely. "The guy from the bulletin board," he continued after only a short pause. "I'm Renji. The death god."

"Oh!"

Tolten's fingers faulted for only a moment on his strings, and he was quite pleased that he managed to quell a flush. This was the man from the bulletin? The one who had put him in mind of a harsher Jansen?

Yes, he could see it. Well, wasn't this a delightful encounter. The man seemed perfectly pleasant in person - rough, but what of it? Sed was rougher. It simply put him in a rather awkward position. And much more personally.

"Yes. 'The'." He didn't bother adding anything else. He hardly needed to. "Well, then it seems introductions weren't necessary after all. I'd say it's a small world, but considering the current scope of our world...."

He trailed off with a weak chuckle.

Renji snorted. "Yeah, it's always a small world, here." He considered for a moment, but decided why the hell not, Tolten had seemed curious, and Renji had just said he didn't really want to get into it quite like that. "So yeah. Like I said on the bulletin board, I'm a shinigami. A death god. But that's not some kind of fancy title for a warrior. That's literally what I am. I was human at some point, I died, and now I'm immortal and if I was back home I'd be making sure souls go to all the right places."

He laughed. "So that's really a fancy way of saying that if you get hurt real bad, I can do a little healing with my spirit. And it's my job to protect the living. I still take that seriously here."

"Oh!"

Lovely, now he'd fallen into the pit of simply repeating himself! Tolten fond himself looking intently at Renji, as though looking for something familiar in his face or features. He had never heard the word 'shinigami', but he knew immortals. And he was smart enough to bite his tongue and not let slip the term 'angel'.

He'd already learned that lesson.

But he didn't disbelieve. He knew for a fact that there were other worlds and that death wasn't the end. He had seen the proof himself, in the Tower of Mirrors and beyond. And wasn't it a nice thought, to think there were people looking out for mankind in their darkest personal hour?

He just supposed Renji wasn't what he would have imagined, if someone said 'soul guiding, immortal death god'. But he'd probably imagine someone like Kaim, simply because.

"I appreciate the offer," Tolten finally said, realizing Renji had offered what he did. "Luckily I've yet to actually be harmed. So far." But that would end.

"Yeah, luckily," Renji said. "Luck always runs out eventually. Though I hope yours sticks around for a long time. 'Course, it also helps your luck if you're smart about where you go and cautious about what you fight." He grinned. He was neither of those things, but at least it was on purpose. "But I was seriously sword work. Even if I no longer have my... real sword, I'm still handy with a blade. So if you ever want to, I don't know, practice or something, sure."

It still felt strange to talk about things so openly, but he'd made that decision what felt like a long time ago, that it was worth risking punishment because it was important that people here knew the score. Though he'd had a hope that maybe it would work out without being a criminal enterprise anyway, when Hitsugaya and Byakuya had been around, but...

It didn't really matter any more. Survival had to be the first concern. Worrying about the future just seemed like an unnecessary distraction a lot of the time.

"So we've covered the important facts about Renji," he said, grin going a little evil. "Since we've already figured out you're not a choir boy, what is it that Tolten does in... Plank."

Tolten's fingers did stop entirely at the mention of a blade. He met Renji's eyes and leaned forward some, intent. He didn't even care about the teasing, not when this matter was down for discussion.

"You have a blade?" He wet his lips and had to surpress a small shudder that ran through him at the thought. He would give anything to have his hands on a sword, a proper sword. Oh, he knew he'd never find Age of the King lying about, but even a simple broadsword!

"I only ask because, concerning what Tolten does in Plank.... I sit at the head of Uhra's army. I am a Royal Knight, and one of my country's finest swordsmen." And he felt a prickling of guilt, for the first time, in lying about what he really was. He hoped it didn't show, but... well, too late now.

Renji frowned. "Had. Far as I know, Taichou should've given it to someone else when I got taken out of commission four weeks ago. But I haven't been able to find out where it went from there, so I'm stuck without one again. Before, the alchemists made the sword for me, but I'm guessing that they're not around any more. Most everyone I knew is gone at this point."

He nodded. "Well, good for you. Wish I could help out, but we didn't have swords before the alchemists started making them. Unless someone else steps up and has the right kind of kidou to do that, we're kind of screwed. Improvised weapons will have to do."

Well, that was that, wasn't it? No swords. Only what they could get their hands on and turn to the use of weapons.

"I'm sorry for the loss of your blade. I have a length of pipe that has served me well, but I had hoped..." Tolten shrugged, and tried not to let his disappointment show. He was armed. He was better off than some. And yet...

"There must be weapons around here somewhere! Real weapons. Locked away, I'm sure, possibly guarded, but..." It was madness to think there were no weapons in this place. A place just vacated by the military for goodness sakes! And if they truly drew out as fast as it seemed, they must have left supplies in the rush!

"There were soldiers here until last night. Soldiers have weapons and they left in such a cataclysmic rush...

"Pipes are good. I had one for a while before Ed made my sword." Renji nodded. "But I'm also used to making do with whatever I can find." Anything could be a weapon. Just some things were better than others, was all.

He laughed. "I'm sure there are real weapons around here. But it'd probably be stuff that we didn't know how to use. Modern weapons like guns." He was not a fan of guns, at all, and doubted he'd be able to do much with one. At least not at first, though he prided himself on being a fast learner. "But it wouldn't hurt to look around. I'd bet if they're locked up it's on the third floor though, and no one's figured out how to get up there yet. Unless there were some areas that got taken over by the military in the building that were on the lower floors, or elsewhere nearby? I just woke up. I don't know shit about what the military did."

"I don't know," Tolten admitted honestly. "I've only been here...well, not quite a week yet. Though I've a small bit of experience with guns..." Sed's guns, anyway. And he had seen the mage battalions using long range guns. They probably had something different here, as those were powered by magical energy.

"I only know about the military, however. I've been learning about this Landel man, slowly, but it's the military that I was brought here under. And if no one has discovered a way to reach the third floor, that simply means someone still has a chance to be the first."

The first lesson. Never let anything stand in the way of what you need. Never be afraid of what might happen, or you would lose out on your goal. Perhaps a giant, ancient mecha monster would rise from the depths and try to eat you, but monsters could be beaten.

"Might be worth asking about it now, maybe on the bulletin board. Because if there's stuff being left behind by the military, tonight is probably the time to go for it in the hopes that Landel hasn't cleaned house yet." Renji wished that he knew more about what had happened. He just didn't have enough information and felt like he might never catch up on things.

"I tried to get in there last night. Couldn't blast a hole through the roof or anything. But you're right, we got to keep trying. Nothing else you really can do." Renji shrugged. "I've got reason to think that the way to go is either finding a path up to the third floor, or something to do with the basement. But there's not a lot to go on."

"They both sound like delightful options to me, considering both lay inside."

This Renji...Tolten had been right. He found himself liking the man, and relaxing in his presence. It was the same as with Locke. Perhaps it was just the familiarity that they seemed to represent, but his nerves and self consciousness waned. Enough so to allow him to joke about his ridiculous predicament.

And considering he wouldn't even know about his predicament if not for this mean, really, who else could he make light of it with?

"I've heard a bit about the basement. It is accessible..."

Renji couldn't help but laugh at that comment, since he knew exactly why Tolten had said it, thanks to the incredibly awkward bulletin board conversation they'd had. "Yeah, well, that does help. Though I'll be shocked if you can just stick inside for the rest of the time. If nothing else, some of the best short cuts go through the outside and over the walls." And Renji hoped he didn't have to point out to Tolten that climbing a wall was about the last time you wanted a giant virgin-eating bird to be coming after you.

"Yeah, it's easy. You go through the... refridgerator, I think it is, in the kitchen. There's like a hidden trap-door kind of entrance there. I've been in the basement a few times myself. There's an armory down there, but don't get too excited about it. The sword I got out of it was fucking worthless. Decorative blade, had no edge, that stuff. It was a piece for some sort of puzzle, we figured."

"Oh, I know I can't simply hide inside. Or spend every moment without running. I'm not a fool, even if I can sometimes be foolish."

Oh, but what to do? Certainly he'd thought about intimate relations before, but only in a very vague and fantastical manner. The only women he had ever known throughout his life were his maid and a few other serving women, all of whom knew him for what and who he was. A cowardly, foolish, flittish young man who had been so unworthy that King Zypha handed the country over to a council. Not the target of young female fancies. They didn't flirt, they laughed.

And beyond that...it was a difficult matter. When he thought about it in regards to himself, in real life, he felt queasy and nervous and ashamed. He'd never even held someone's hand in affection, let alone...anything further.

And what if he were terrible at it? He was often terrible at things he was supposed to be good at. He was expected to be a virile, libidinous, bed-hopping beast, joyfully raking in maidens. He really didn't think he could ever live up to that expectation.

His face showed his worrying thoughts, and he said nothing about the basement. His mind had turned in once more.

Renji only snorted at the somewhat sharper words. He wasn't calling anyone a fool yet. Then Tolten's face got that familiar broody look, the kind he'd seen on a lot of other kids. Like Artemis.

No, he told himself, not this time. He wasn't going to do it. Because then he'd start giving a shit, and then Tolten would inevitably disappear, and that would just be one more cut. And...

"Look, I'm no mind reader, but that's an 'I'm overthinking things' face if I ever saw one."

Fuck me.

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