damned_institute | Day 58: Cafeteria

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Day 58: Cafeteria

Anise woke up feeling lucky to be alive. She still felt a bit waterlogged, even though her skin, hair, and clothes were completely dry. During last night's adventures, she'd swallowed a lot of water, and it still felt heavy and disgusting in her stomach. Her arms and legs were tired from treading water. Lying still in her bed, she still kind of felt like she was floating and bobbing in the water.

But she was alive.

Knowing how close she came to death last night, and remembering the lengths her friends had gone to in order to save her, there was no way Anise could let a little discomfort get her down. She had to be at her best today so she wouldn't seem ungrateful to Guy and Claude. On that note, she had to remember to thank them properly, now that she was better able to express herself.

While getting ready, Anise was surprised to actually run into Claude that morning. He came to her room asking for the notebook he stored there (or maybe it was an excuse to see her cute face again), so Anise happily located it and handed it over. She was pretty tired, but the big smile she gave him was genuine. Who wouldn't be happy to see her savior so soon after a dramatic rescue?

After he left, Anise finished re-tying her pigtails into a low position so the military beret would fit on her head, and then she was ready! Even though her stomach wasn't feeling that great, she figured sitting down to a decent meal would help normalize it. And luckily for her, she was among the few who had the privilege of eating such a meal. Anise filled a plate with french toast topped with syrup and fruit, accompanied by small portions of each of the available side dishes.

It looked like she was early, which meant there weren't a lot of people around. That was okay, though. Anise could get a good head start on her meal before any company came around. She sat down at a table by herself and started on her sausage first.

[for Tolten!]

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Offering a small smile Locke sat, once again, only picking at his food, small bites here in there. The sad excuse for food was hardly appetizing, but, combined with the fact his attention was mostly devoted to trying to decide if this really was his friend across from him, he wasn't all that keen on eating.

He studied her face the best he could without openly starring at her. The hair was really the only thing holding him back, other than that, she looked and even moved, just like Terra. The fact she didn't recognize him didn't mean anything, it was disturbing and more than a little heartbreaking, but, it didn't mean she wasn't Terra. She could easily be from a different time than him, like Edgar was, or, knowing this place, it was also possible her memories had been messed with.

"Sorry, got lost in my own thoughts for a moment there, I'm Locke, though, the people here'll tell you my name is 'Alex'."

In the silence between Locke's descent to the table and the return of his voice, the girl went back to eating with little notice or care to the taste or texture. Even if she couldn't remember it, she thought, this must have been similar to what she usually ate, right? The two women from before had said they were trapped here, in this sometimes hospital, sometimes military grounds, but was that true? How long had she been 'trapped' here as well?

When he piped up again, she was a little better prepared for the sound of a voice speaking to her. No recognition took hold of her expression, for neither 'Locke' nor 'Alex' were names she knew. But he would want a name from her, wouldn't he? And she still could not remember her own. The eyes that had briefly met his lowered, no small amount of shame to her expression. Should she tell him that she could not remember her name? Or should she give him the name that Lana and the others had loaned her?

It's easier to treat someone as a person when we have a name.

"... Jane." The word was unfamiliar on her tongue; even if it was not right, it was better than nothing, wasn't it? The girl--the Jane--regarded the man across from her with some confusion. "Why would they give you a different name?"

Even if it wasn't Terra, though, he was finding that harder to believe the more he looked at her, 'Jane' just didn't sound right. Maybe...could it be possible she was from the time when she couldn't remember anything? After she escaped the empire, but, before Locke had met her?

"Because they insist I'm someone I'm not. That's the story behind this place. We're 'sick' and so we're in this hospital, but, it's all just a story. This place isn't a hospital."

Poking the food with his spoon, he thought a moment about how he wanted to ask his question. He didn't want to scare her off by claiming he knew everything about her, that was just asking to be called 'crazy'.

"Jane...doesn't seem like a fitting name for you...you sure that isn't just the name this place put into your head?" Locke looked up at her, hoping his words might make her remember something. Perhaps she was brainwashed like Edgar had mentioned sometimes happened to people here. "Does the name 'Terra' mean anything to you?"

That's what Bella had said, the girl remembered. That she didn't look like a 'Jane' at all. She knew the name didn't fit, and if this stranger didn't think so either, then it obviously couldn't be anything like that. She turned her eyes toward the table, a tilt to her neck as she went to respond to that first question with truth, but Locke pressed on. When she looked up, her whole expression seemed more alert, but there was still a wariness around her eyes.

"Terra... isn't a name I've heard before," she said, but there was a new uncertainty to her voice. It was a truth, but something about it struck a chord with her, even if she did not know yet what, or why. Her spoon traced circles in the halfway empty bowl, and her focus went to watching that in preference to Locke's face. Her thoughts spun in her head like waterwheels. "'Jane' was given to me. Because I can't... remember mine. Lana said that was the name they give people with amnesia."

Amnesia....so it was true then. If this was his Terra then, somehow, this place had pulled her from a time even earlier than Edgar; one where she didn't remember who she was because of the Empire. It was like he was reliving the events from two years ago, only, now in a more corrupt and dangerous place that had more control over them than the Empire had.

"Well, personally, I think you look like a 'Terra'."

He smiled gently at her, hoping she would take his words seriously and believe him.

"And, in fact, I'm certain that's your name, because I know you, you and I come from the same....home, I guess. I think the reason you don't remember any thing is that this place has messed with your memories; it's been known to do that...it's done it to me."

He waited and watched...she would either believe him, consider his words, or completely dismiss him....and he hoped it wasn't the last one.

Her hand fumbled the spoon, falling from her fingers and noisily clattering on the edge of her dish. She didn't seem to care much about it, for the meal was entirely forgotten with those words. It was too much to hope for, that someone would just drop so easily in front of her and pour the answers she sought onto her tray. The girl, Jane, Terra, whoever, braced her hands on the edge of the table and stared at Locke, her brow bent and her eyes wide.

"You know me?" The question rushed out of her, quick as an exhale. "You know who I am?"

He had a kind-looking face, and she wanted to believe that he was telling the truth... but, no small part of her wondered, was it safe to trust anyone so easily?

He nodded in answer to her question. "Yeah, I do...and, I know this place is pretty messed up, so, I just wish I had some way to prove it to you. I want you to trust me like you did back home, Terra. Now that i know you're here....I'm going to get you out of here, I promise."

The sadness that had been in his earlier words vanished, replaced with determination. Between the fact Terra, once again, didn't remember anything, and what had happened to Edgar, Locke's protective instincts were kicking in full force. He wasn't going to let anything else happen to those he cared about; he was going to get them out.

"I'll answer any questions you have, if you'll trust me to tell you the truth. Though, considering this place and the way it works, I'd understand if you didn't."

He'd understand, but, that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

He seemed so certain of it; it was hard to argue with a determination like that. She couldn't help feeling guilty that this person seemed to know her and she couldn't remember a thing about him. If he wasn't mistaking her for someone else. That was possible too, wasn't it? She'd like to think that coming across someone familiar would be fire enough to burn away the dense fog obscuring her memories, but they remained as gray and indistinct as ever.

"Can you... tell me about--" her or me, she didn't even know which word to use. She swallowed, trying again. "About the Terra you know?"

Locke rested his chin on his hand, thinking.

"Well, she was kind and really great with kids. She didn't like to fight, necessarily, but, when she did, she was really something. I met her in a town called Narshe. Like you, she had amnesia, so, I promised to stay with her until she got her memory back."

He paused, thinking over everything that had happened. Would it really be helpful to tell her everything if she couldn't remember anything?

"The Terra I know had had her memory effected by a 'slave crown' the Empire had put on her. The Empire was the ruling power back home, and they wanted to use her magic to destroy their enemies. However, once she gained her own will back, she fought against the empire, especially after she got her memories back; they had kidnapped her and hurt her family. Does any of this ring any bells?"

She listened to Locke's story, carefully watching his expression as he went. It seemed so fantastic. Her, fighting against an Empire? There was no way she'd ever done something like that, was there? You needed to be strong, and courageous, and dedicated to go against something as powerful as a country, right? She didn't feel like she had any of those things.

As for kidnapping and amnesia, well, that was where she was now, wasn't it? She didn't know if she could trust any resonance to that part, when that's the life she was living that moment. At least, the others said something similar.

Her teeth chewed at her lower lip, her thoughts sifting through his story for something that would connect. It felt like tossing sand into a canyon in order to make a bridge. Finally, she shook her head; no, it didn't ring any bells. "She sounds... brave."

He was a bit disappointed, but, he couldn't really say he was all that surprised either. Memories were tricky, it wasn't going to take some small thing like a story to make her remember anything. Besides, perhaps she hadn't lived any of that yet, like Edgar and defeating Kefka. He wished he could think of something more helpful to tell her.

"She was...she is. Even if you can't remember any of this, I think you are too. It's still there, even if you aren't aware of it. I'm only sorry I can't offer anything more concrete or anything to prove I'm not just making this up."

He hoped she could, at least, see and hear his sincerity.

'Making it up' was exactly what she was afraid of. That, or that he was simply mistaking her for someone else -- or possibly both. It would be an unfortunate coincidence if she somehow looked like the Terra that Locke knew, and both of them suffer from amnesia, but it wasn't impossible. It almost seemed more likely than this being the perfect truth.

She didn't have anything left to say to Locke's declaration; what he'd given her already felt like too much to think over.

He lets the silence go on a little longer before shaking his head and sighing. "I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit too much at once. I...hope you don't mind, but, I think Terra is a much nicer name than Jane, if you'll let me, I think I'd like to call you that."

Any remaining doubts about this being his Terra he slowly pushed to the back of his mind. Until he was proven otherwise, this was what he was going to believe.

Her shoulders rose and fell with a breath, and the girl shook her head. "It doesn't matter to me," she said, but the truth of it was hard to discern. " 'Jane' is just a placeholder."

And so am I, she thought, for the Terra he knew.

He smiled, wishing, not for the first time, that he had some way to prove to her his sincerity.

"Even if you can't trust me or believe that I know who you are, believe that I am here for you; I'll protect you, I did once and I'll do it again, even if you can't remember."

He hoped she could at least believe that. He was going to leave the conversation there, but, then something new occurred to him.

"By the way, there's someone else from our home here as well, If he sees you, he'll probably recognize you as well. I don't know if he would, considering, but, just in case, if he flirts with you, ignore him, it's what he does."

If nothing else had done it, the girl's reaction then was probably the closest he'd seen of the Terra he remembered: her gaze moved back up to Locke's, her eyes blinking rapidly for confusion, her whole expression flummoxed.

How was she supposed to react to something like that?

He couldn't help it, he laughed. It was too familiar and killed most of the doubts he had been suppressing.

"Trust me, you'll know. His name is Edgar, he's tall, blonde, and has bright blue eyes. Just be careful."

The laughter did nothing to help her confusion. She murmured an "Okay...," trailing off, unsure what to make of an introduction like that. Was she supposed to be wary, or was this just some joke Locke was playing. And if so, at whose expense?

It would be easier to determine, she thought, if she really knew him -- knew either of them. But at least she knew what to look out for.

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Day 58: Cafeteria

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