damned_institute | Night 53: M111-M120 Hallway

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Night 53: M111-M120 Hallway

What was this? No ominous warnings of doom, no live broadcasts of torture...what, had Landel's scriptwriters gone on strike? Maybe that upgraded sound system had come at a higher price than anyone had expected. Figured. Typical bureaucratic bullshit. Not even the insane could escape it.

Niikura sighed as he set his dinner plate aside and started to get ready for whatever was in store for tonight. As usual, he had no idea what was in store, but figured it would come to him as it happened to every night. He'd wander around, find someone who looked interesting, latch on, and watch things unfold from there. No sweat.

In any case, time to get a move on. Grabbing his radio and flashlight, Niikura nodded to his roommate (Edward was looking a little better today. A little.) and left.

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Bella was so caught up in her thoughts of reliving her childhood that she hadn't even realized she had made the trek to Edward's room until she was standing in front of his door. "... Oops," she found herself whispering to herself, looking around the empty hall. How had she done that?

The power of the mind, she told herself with a nod, lifting her hand to knock at his door -

But she paused, wondering. Would he be upset with her? Not about going to his room, but ... about what the shadow said last night? Would he be hurt about the things the shadow had brought up? Surely the memory of her kissing Jake was painful, but ... could he be so hurt by it that he didn't really want to talk to her, and he had changed his mind after the bulletin post? Was that why he wasn't already waiting for her when she walked past their meeting spot?

Stop, Bella told herself with a shake of her head, breathing in a shuddered breath. Just stop. You know none of that is true.

It wasn't. She knew Edward loved her for everything she had done - good and bad - just like she had done everything he had ever done, regardless of whether it was a good deed or a bad one. That was just how love worked, she supposed; you loved someone regardless of their faults, their flaws.

Seconds later she was knocking on his door, her confidence renewed. She could deal with his annoyance of going to his room later. All she wanted to do now was see his face.

Apparently today had been a good day to start really paying attention to the doctor's voice, echoing out of the intercom periodically. Usually Edward had only lent a half-mind to the same disgustingly condescending messages throughout the daylight hours, but his ears had perked up once the doctor had made his little slip - Why? For the development of your crazy facilities, of course! ....er, creative facilities. Dear me, aren't I scatterbrained today!

His attention had been piqued by the morning meeting with Venom, and he had particularly noted the message since the one announcing the fourth shift. He had made sure to spend the time during dinner, not touching his food, to jot down the new notes he had obtained since the first shift. Two were particularly worth writing down: The Eagle, and Lydia. Lydia was Jill. Jill had been... what? Tortured? Tied up? He wasn't sure considering the vague hints and sounds, but Landel had done something to her. Considering his ability to manipulate the patients themselves, however, Edward would not have been surprised to learn Jill had been "reeducated" into her role as Lydia. A startling feat, considering how calmly and normally she had spoken all day.

And The Eagle. A person? An organization? Was there some sort of planned meeting for the next day? Edward stared hard at the notes in his journal, only looking up once to acknowledge the unlocking of the door and the exit of Niikura. He just needed to organize his thoughts a little -

- and not think about Stefan or Damon for the time being.

His head snapped up like a startled bird when there was a knock on the door he had closed once his roommate had left. Who - Bella? The door was open in less time than it would have taken for her to knock again, the journal thrown back onto his bed as he scooped her immediately into his arms, cradling her close to him.

God, she was so warm. He had thought being burned would have made him grow a hatred for warmth, but this was a completely different sort. It was comforting, familiar. There was no pain here.

Of course, he couldn't believe she had left to come to him again. But he said nothing outside of, "Is it terrible of me to be happy you didn't wait?"

Fully prepared to knock again, Bella lifted her hand and moved to knock - when suddenly the door was flung open, causing the her to jump slightly, a look of surprise on her face. "Oh, uh hi."

At least, that was what she had muttered, but when Edward suddenly pulled her into his arms, her greeting was muffled by the fabric of his shirt, her hand still lifted and in a fist, just the way it had been when she had been prepared to knock again. However, now her fist was pressed against the vampire's chest, and her hand relaxed, moving to grip tightly onto his shirt in response.

Honestly, a part of her expected his reaction. It was always like this when they didn't see each other for a while (it felt like a while in Landel's, she told herself constantly, because of how strangely time moved. What day was it, anyway?) and often the annoyance/anger/whatever else they were feeling that day was instantly shoved aside and replaced by the happiness brought on by their reunion. Now was no different.

Bella's thoughts were only proven when Edward asked his question, and she smiled against his chest, turning her head so she could speak better. Clicking off her flashlight (the darkness was assuring; no shadows, this way.) she shoved it in her pocket so she could reach up and wrap it around him tightly, clutching onto the shirt over his shoulder blades in a death grip. "No," she replied simply, smiling up at him, "I'm kind of glad you aren't annoyed, because that's no way to start off a night. I just. ... figured you wanted to see me as badly as I wanted to see you, so I saw no point in waiting."

The hand pressed against his chest was slipped up then, curling around his neck, pulling him even closer to herself as her eyes fell shut, simply enjoying the feel of his body against her own, and the comfort of his presence. "I missed you."

She knew him so well, but he really wasn't surprised by that. If anything, it pleased him that she did. While usually he would always force the conversation to drift back to the fact she'd, once again, put herself in a dangerous situation, he was... overlooking it this time. Or rather not thinking of it at all. After what had happened with Stefan and Damon - what he had heard - Edward needed reminders that she was real and whole and his.

He was still deciding whether to bring it up or not. He knew he would feel more easy about it if he did share it with Bella, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to disrupt her life as his had been.

"I missed you," he echoed, closing his eyes and closing the distance between them. He added "as always" before pressing his lips to hers.

Oh yes. Very real. Very warm.

Edward was very quick and chaste for the moment despite hardly having the patience to be. He disengaged from her, shutting the door behind them and closing them off from the darkness of the hallway outside. The room was nearly pitch black compared to last night, but he hardly blamed her for wanting the darkness. Regardless, he still grabbed his flashlight and set it up on the desk so the light faced up to the ceiling and lit a bright circle there. "How was your dinner with Claire? I'm sorry last night turned the way it did. She seemed surprisingly bitter."

As usual, Bella thought the kiss between them was far too short for her liking, but she said nothing about it and instead simply smiled up at the vampire when he pulled away from her to shut the door. At least we're alone tonight, she thought to herself as she moved further into the room, watching as Edward then proceeded to turn on his own flashlight. Maybe I can get more out of him, because dammit, I'm desperate.

Bella wanted to blame the fact that she was an eighteen year old girl and he was her boyfriend/fiance, but really, after last night, she needed reassurance.

However, she said nothing of this, and instead moved over to Edward's bed, reaching out to grasp onto his discarded journal so she could carefully place it on his desk. "What, did you throw this across the room or something?"

She soon turned around, looking back towards Edward's bed, when he mentioned Claire, and unable to help herself, she threw herself down on his bed and buried her face in his pillow, a muffled moan escaping her. Sighing soon after, she rolled over and covered her face with her hands, leaving them there even as she spoke. "As to be expected. She almost didn't talk to me, but I finally got her to. Still, that friendship is probably as good as gone ..."

But she didn't blame him. "But I don't blame you," she told him, looking up and shrugging her shoulders as she pushed herself up on her hands. "It was my fault. I was too panicked to realize what I had asked. But ... I mean ... I'll still try to be her friend, but ..."

It won't be the same.

But she didn't want to think about that now! "Anyway, that's not what's important right now," she told him, doing her best to somehow lure him to the bed with her attempted "dazzle" expression. Lifting up one hand, she curled her finger in that "come hither" way, smiling to him. "You. Come here. Right now."

Edward was glad to follow her command. "I hope it's smoothed over eventually," he said honestly, plopping down on to the bed beside her. "At least between the two of you. I'm afraid she doesn't seem to like me very much now." Laying back on the bed, he propped his feet up on the desk, pushing the journal over with a toe. "And no. I was using that journal. You know, writing in it, like what it's designed for. I even used a pen."

Even if she didn't blame him, it was certainly his fault. It wasn't even a matter of self-deprecation, it was just the truth. If Claire had been close enough to Bella to share such a secret, there had most certainly been a connection between them. But because Bella refused to share his secret - regardless of whether or not it was Bella's to tell - he had ruined the budding friendship. The last thing he wanted to do was deprive her of friends. Eventually she would get bored with just him. Wasn't that why she had visited Jacob so often?

Shut up. He wasn't going to let that bother him. As if the fact that the words of the shadow had reminded him, he scooted closer to Bella so he was perpendicular to her, his arm snaking around her hips to tug at her, indicating she should lay back against him - if she wanted. Although his next words had an edge of truth to him, he laughed after he said them. "Are you sure you don't mind spending a whole night with your horrible, lying fiancé?"

Bella shrugged at Edward's comment about hoping things between her and the blonde get better. Honestly, she didn't know. She had hurt Claire in the worst way; she had been willing to tell her her life changing secret, but in the end, she hadn't shared one with Claire. Give and take. She had taken information from Claire and used that power to her advantage, and then ... done nothing more.

At least Edward made a joke about the journal, thusly bringing her attention away from the nagging guilt ripping at her stomach. "A pen? No way. Here I was thinking you would be using a quill and ink!" a laugh, and she rolled her eyes. "Come on. I know you hate computers, but I've seen all of the journals in your room. And you forget I've seen you write in school. In fact, I even have some of the notes you left me back at home, in a box."

But he didn't need to know where that box was.

When she felt Edward's arms wrap around her hips, she turned to look at him with a smile, turning around in his arms and climbing on top of him so that she was finally laying on top of him.

At his question, Bella laughed, pushing her hand through her hair so she could push her hair over her shoulder. Once done, she pressed a hand against Edward's chest while the other danced over his face, brushing his own hair out of his eyes. "That depends. Do you mind spending a whole night with your horrible, horrible at lying fianceé? Because I know that there is no place else I'd rather be then by your side. No matter ..." she paused, looking around the room if suddenly afraid that the shadows were looming. "No matter what anyone or any thing says."

"You kept those?" he asked, sounding genuinely surprised. They hadn't been anything important; most of them had only contained promises of keeping her safe - promises which he had never lived up to - or notes during school to meet her after lunch. He was going to be very glad when she was out of high school and he didn't have to adjust his schedule according to the whims of adults less than half his age.

He laughed at what he thought was an absurd idea. "I can't believe you still have them. But even as ridiculous as you are, I am not in the least bit adverse to spending an entire night with you." His smile turned playful at her touch, eyes slipping closed with contentment. The darkness was comparatively soothing. No lights to play tricks on them. Of course, that wasn't necessarily the case... but what she said reassured him. Even if the shadows came again, they would be ready. He wasn't anticipating an interruption like that again; Landel never seemed to recycle his tricks.

And, to be frank, he was damned determined not to let anyone spoil the sight of a beautiful girl on top of him. It was only every seventeen year old's dream. If Venom decided tonight would be a good time to continue his pattern of stomping down Edward's door, he was likely to lose an eye tonight.

His smile dipped. "You're not... still thinking of what those things said, are you? None of it was true."

When Edward sounded surprised to hear about her apparently sentimental hidden side, Bella turned her head away, face slowly becoming a bright red color. "W-why do you sound so surprised? It's not a big deal! I've heard some people keep their lovenotes and everything until they're old! It's not a big deal," now thoroughly embarrassed, she tried a different approach. "And you mean to tell me you never kept anything I sent you or gave you?"

Without waiting for Edward's answer (and he looked so content as she touched his face ...) Bella pressed her hand gently over his eyes, not wanting him to laugh at her clearly embarrassed expression and red face. It wasn't fair!

... But at least he said he didn't mind staying with her. That was comforting.

See, told you they were wrong, a voice in the back of her head somewhere said, and Bella smiled a small smile in response.

However, when Edward's smile fell, so did hers. Thankfully, her hand was still covering his eyes, so he couldn't see the way her expression fell along with her smile. If she lied, he would know. She had to tell him the truth; after all, wasn't that what they had agreed to do once upon a time? I thought we were past all this evasiveness.

"... I'm sorry," Bella simply said, sighing, finally pulling her hand away from Edward's eyes so he could look at her - if he wanted to. "I kept telling myself to not let it bother me, that it wasn't true, and I know it wasn't real, I know none of it was, but ..."

Bella's head dropped, her forehead pressing against Edward's chest as she let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not as strong as I once believed."

The hand over his eyes didn't seem as playful to him as she'd probably meant it to be; that thought made his brow furrow under the warmth of her fingers. As soon as she removed the hand, he could see he had a reason to be worried. If he had heard the little thought that went with the motion, he would have been flabbergasted - of course all of his attention was focused on her face.

"You don't have to apologize to me." Edward wrapped both his arms around her midsection in an attempt to be as comforting as he could be - not terribly comfortable considering his density, but it was still an attempt. "I'm over a hundred years old and what those things said still got to me. It's not even a matter of strength." Kissing the top of her head, his lips rose in a smile again. "As long as you know none of it was true, that's all that matters to me. I don't love you any less for choices you made... or didn't make, for that matter."

Even if the mere thought of Jacob made Edward's dead blood boil, nothing he had said about the boy had been a lie. If she had chosen him, it was her choice. He had already accepted a part of her heart belonged to him, and there was no way to get rid of it.

Even while Edward spoke, Bella kept her head down. She knew no matter what, he would love her ... regardless of whether she deserved that love or not. He didn't know how good he truly was to her.

Though, she couldn't help but admit, when Edward admitted that the shadows had bothered him as well, she felt ... slightly better. And the kiss to her head absolutely didn't waver that feeling. If anything, that simple, intimate gesture made her feel better, if not even better off than before. It was amazing how a simple thing like that - a touch - could instantly calm her and make all of her worries go away. The heart was a strange thing.

Finally, Bella lifted her head, looking down at the boy she was going to promise her forever to. "Let's just. Pretend none of it ever happened. Let's ... pretend we're not even here right now, and we're back at your house, and there's nothing standing in our way anymore," there was a pause, and a sheepish smile passed over her lips. "At least, for a little while. I'm sure soon someone will talk over the announcements and bother everyone again, but still. At least ..."

It was then that Bella moved so that her lips were only a breath away from Edward's own, her eyes falling shut. "For a little while," she whispered.

Moments later her lips were pressed against his own, hands clinging to him in a desperate way. She wanted things to back to how they were before; no walls between them, no nervousness or fear. Here he didn't have to worry about harming her or hurting her; he was weak, just as she was, if not weaker, considering he was not used to the lack of strength.

But then again, she was not against pleading if he refused to meet her with equal vigor.

After several years of having to control his every action with her, his gentle way of touching her was still deeply embedded in his instincts. Regardless of whether he was nearly human now or not, there was always a dark, tight feeling in his chest when they touched; a paranoia that was just waiting for the moment he made the wrong move and harmed her. It shouldn't have been such a large fear considering all the times he had actually see her hurt, but frequency made it no less horrifying to him.

Of course, harming her was not his only fear. When she began speaking like that - about them being alone and unhindered - his paranoia (well grounded if you asked him) kicked in, just as instinctual. Call it his virgin alarm. He knew how much she wanted it - god, so did he - but there were so many things to think about. Long lasting things. Things he still was not sure he wanted to ever deal with.

Though he should have been annoyed that she hadn't even given him time to protest (she knew him so well), he was glad for her tenacity and her swiftness. What felt tight to him would probably feel butterfly-light to her as his hands rested on her shoulders, fingers curling around the curves.

Even if his touch was gentle, his kiss was not so much. She didn't have to worry about that.

Sometimes, Bella knew Edward far too well. This time was no different; his touches, even gentler than usual, were not enough. Most certainly not, she thought to herself, trying her hardest not to groan out of sheer frustration. Always so calculated, always so cautious; being stuck in the institute was the perfect place to lose all fears and worries, so why did he not even want to at least get farther than just kissing?

Despite the fact that the vampire was at least kissing her, as said, Bella was still not satisfied. She was the first to pull away, letting out a soft laugh (she tried her hardest not to appear sardonic.) before rolling off of Edward so she could lie next to him, her eyes falling shut (it wasn't like she could see in the darkness anyway.) "You do realize you aren't Mr. Strong anymore, right? It feels like you're not even touching me."

So maybe now she was pouting. Where was that strength she had moments ago, when she thought she wasn't above pleading?

Time to change the subject, before he had time to apologize. "So," she said quickly, turning to look at him through the darkness. "What did you do today? I talked to my friend ... she was pretty upset. The shadows got to her too, apparently. I felt ... bad."

Bella was quiet for a few moments before speaking once again, one of her hands lifting so she could brush her fingers through her hair. "Though, helping her with her problems helped me keep my mind off of what happened to us last night, so I was grateful and glad to help her through her trauma."

She wasn't changing topics that quickly, but he did manage to swallow down the inevitable apology that was bubbling up. "We've been together for a while. Old habits die hard." And he was still paranoid. So very, very paranoid.

Right now, it was definitely for the best he couldn't read her mind. Her intentions were clear enough, but some things should be... private.

"You have friends?" he asked with surprise now that his piece had been said, keeping up a thoroughly serious-sounded ruse before laughing. He was distracted by the movements of her fingers through her own hair for a moment before he decided to aid her with his own fingers, pushing falling locks of it behind her ears and combing through the soft tufts of brown, painted black in the darkness. "I'm sorry, that was horrible. I think I saw her, actually... I just happened to glance up and see you, before you start becoming suspicious." Way to sound inconspicuous, Cullen. He knew it had been the other Claire, the blonde Claire - the one that didn't seem to hold a grudge against them as far as he knew. The paranoid one; that was the best descriptor. "How strange that it was a widespread occurrence, though.

"As for me," he said, immediately becoming quieter as he rolled onto his side to face her (and allow more access to his wandering fingers), "I met a pair of brothers. Stefan and Damon Salvatore. You haven't heard of them, have you?"

Edited 2010-12-31 08:37 (UTC)

And he had still been able to apologize. Bella narrowed her eyes at the vampire through the darkness, rolling on her side to face him. "How about we try something. You try to push me over so I go back on my back, that way you can see exactly how strong you are now as opposed to your usual. Oh, and if you use the same touch you just did and you see me not move, you'll see just how weak you really are now," a pause, and she pouted. "And if you really think you can still hurt me even though you're basically as strong as I am now then I am going to be angry with you. If you think a butterfly touch is enough to hurt me then clearly you think I belong in some sort of bubble, and let me tell you, I refuse to be in a bubble. In fact, I will rebel. I will rebel and I will run naked down the hallway as a form of rebellion, so I hope you're happy."

So, maybe she had mostly said that to at least get a rise out of him so he could try to at least attempt to not be so guarded. Still.

However, suddenly her expression turned innocent, and she turned her gaze away, pouting her lips slightly. "And you certainly weren't afraid those few nights ago when you pushed me against the wall ..."

"And yes, I have friends!" she said instantly, giving Edward a "What the fuck?" expression before laughing just as he had. "Her name is also Claire. I was the first person she bumped into when she woke up ... she was a mess. She kept mentioning something about the trees ... then she seemed happy to be here. It makes me wonder what her life before being taken here was like ..." she knew they weren't that close, but Bella really wanted to ask. ... Though it wasn't her business, in the end.

Edward's fingers through her hair caused her eyes to fall shut, and she let out a content sigh. When she opened them and he was facing her, she smiled. "Hm? Oh, yeah. I met Damon a few days ago. He was pretty nice. I haven't met his brother, though. You didn't talk to Venom today?"

He didn't want to discuss the topic of how unreliable his self-control had become of recent times, so he was going to completely ignore the fact he'd even mentioned it and she'd caught on to it.

"I'm quite sure I could push you over if I tried," he said, managing to sound like she had successfully hurt his pride. Of course he had the strength of a human now, but it was still at least a modicum stronger than the usual teenager. Especially a small thing like Bella. "And I am going to politely request you do not run down the hallways nude. That would give the female block more of a show than I've seen myself, and I would be very upset about that."

And that was the honest truth. Even if she offered - which he was hoping she would not - because that was going to embarrassing for one of them, and probably both -

"Claire. Right." He clung to the new name desperately, recalling his very... skewed mind. Skewed was a good word for it. Perhaps skewered. And paranoid. But even Bella had caught on to it, so there was definitely something off about the girl. She might have had reason to be paranoid.

Speaking of paranoia...

His body was rigid, frozen now. "I met with Venom, but that's not important. Please, for the love of God, stay away from them. Look, I - honestly I would prefer not to tell you, but at this point I think being silent is not going to help me in any way. Both of them are vampires. And... and they know about me. Much more than they should. I think that puts us both in a compromising position, but especially you. You can perhaps see why I may be just slightly panicked just thinking about it."

Bella couldn't help but grin at Edward's feigned pain, running her fingers through her hair at his second comment. "Well, I will take your thoughts into consideration, how about that."

Suddenly, as if a switch was flipped, the calm, enjoyable conversation was thrown out, and was instead replaced by what the teenager realized was fear and ... well, panic, as Edward had stated. Honestly, Bella couldn't help but be confused by his attitude; why was it such a big deal that other vampires knew about his existence? (never mind the fact that she was slightly surprised that Damon had been a vampire; he had been rather pleasant to her, honestly. Not that vampires couldn't be nice, however)

What did bother her was Edward's tone and body language. Frowning, Bella reached out and placed her hands against the vampire's face, hoping to at least calm him down slightly with the feeling. "Hey, calm down. Why are you so upset about it? I mean, if they're vampires too, why is it surprising that they know about you? Especially since the Volturi has taken a shining to you and the rest of the family ..."

She paused, her eyes narrowed slightly at a sudden realization. "Unless they're something you're not telling me."

"It's not just because they are vampires," he confirmed, eventually lifting himself to a sitting position gently enough that he didn't disturb her hands on his face. They weren't really helping his nerves. "Though that's definitely something to worry about. There is barely enough to eat here, and there is a chance neither knows about the fountain in the chapel. Besides, my past history with meeting vampires who also have met you isn't exactly pleasant." And the last one who she'd met had held a grudge for over a year, spending that time calculating and executing a plan to destroy one human girl. A lot could be said about vampires and grudges, but a lot could also be said to the overwhelming number of his species that always became too interested in Bella.

He ran a hand through his hair; one sure sign of his nervous ticks. He knew she would notice it, but when he had realized what he was doing it was too late. "There is something I'm not telling you, but I'm very sure I don't want you to know." Edward watched her face, searching for his answer - she would want to know, of course, but surely she would regret the knowledge. "I'm very sure you might not want to know, either. It's less about the physical danger and more..."

Unsure of how to word it, he tapped his temple twice. "Mental, I suppose."

Well, he had a point there. "Touché," she responded in a soft voice, looking down with a sheepish expression. "I'm sorry," after all, it wash her fault. ... Or her parents fault, for giving her the blood type she had. She said no more on the subject, knowing how Edward would just shoot her down, so she simply sat there deep in thought -

Until he ran his fingers through her hair. Bella pulled her hands away from his face, letting them rest against her stomach as she looked up at him with the calmest expression she could manage. Honestly, she was so interested she could have snapped, but she didn't want him to know that. Instead, she simply looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. "Maybe I don't want to know, maybe I do. Maybe I shouldn't maybe I should. Haven't we already been through this kind of thing before? If you remember what happened last time you tried this, we didn't talk for a few days. So even if you think I can't take it, I think you should tell me anyway. I can take mental torture."

Bella sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "Besides. What bothers you bothers me, anyway. Even if you don't tell me I will still be bothered," a pause, and she looked away. "So it's either you tell me or I find Damon and ask him."

So maybe she was threatening him now. Still, Edward had to understand.

"Of course I remember. I don't want that to happen again." Even though there were no proverbial windows to close to keep him out here, she would always have the option of asking him to stay away. He would respect it. But he didn't want to go through that again. Most of their problems had stemmed from his abundance of partial truths and outright lies.

He sighed as well. "You don't have to threaten me. I'm going to tell you." Looking down from her face, he concentrated on her hands; he inched forward on the bed so he could hold them with his own. "Well. I met Stefan first; the nurses forced me to meet with him, which makes me suspect they all know much more than they let on. I mentioned my name, and his mind... it was confusing. At first he thought of a book, Twilight, and I did not recognize the reference. But he recognized my name, and it was merely not because he had heard of me through the channels here. He knew what I was, which - I mean, I know it is very easy to tell between vampires, but he is much different than me."

He had time to come to that later. Besides, what matter did the differences make now? All he had gotten from what Stefan had thought about him was that it was particularly noteworthy he could go out into the sun. Which meant Stefan was a traditional vampire. (Or, as Stefan had thought, a "real" vampire.) How did that even make sense?

"His knowledge surprised me, so I slipped. I asked about what he had been thinking. He told me this book was about a love story between a human and a vampire. That was where he had heard my name. His brother's name was mixed in with all this, so I spoke to him as well. They both thought I was insane, of course. But Damon thought your name, and he pieced us together."

That was a more urgent fact to him. Stefan had seemed to be vegetarian. He had been honest when he said he didn't want to hurt people. (Good intentions. Road to Hell.) He had been... a sort of similar mind. Edward had not sensed any of that from Damon. But he did not trust either one, so their differences were still moot.

"So... apparently we're fictional."

A book about a love story. Between a human and a vampire.

Honestly, Bella had been listening intently during Edward's entire confession; how he met Damon, and how he was told about a book called Twilight, of all simply cliche names, and how apparently Damon knew all about Edward. She got that; of course, she was somewhat surprised (and somewhat horrifyingly curious. She honestly wanted to know more about this supposed book.) but then something hit her.

A few times, she had been looking on the bulletin board, and had seen some very familiar names. Names she knew very well ... then there were the bulletins asking if someone was something different back from where they were from then where they were now. She hadn't known what to think of it before, but ...

If Bella was being honest, then she had to admit ... supposedly being fictional? Didn't bother her as much as Edward probably thought it was going to.

In the end, it was she who was squeezing Edward's hand, hoping to give him some kind of reassurance. "Edward," she began, looking up at him with a sheepish smile. "Honestly, before I met you, I thought vampires were fictional. I thought werewolves were fictional. I thought mind and future readers were fictional.

"But they're real," Bella continued, sitting up so she could be at close level with Edward. "You're real. I'm real. See?" at this point, she gave his hand a tight squeeze, "You can feel me. You can see me. Isn't that all that matters? I can see you, I can feel you. I know you're here, I know you're with me, and I know you're real to me. So maybe we're imaginary friends or whatever to some other people," a pause. "But ... maybe we're not the only ones. I mean, I've seen Peter Parker on the bulletin. Spiderman. And a few other recognizable names ..."

Surely Edward had too. After all, he probably read the board more than she did.

"But still," she began once again, squeezing his hand. "I know you're bothered by this, but I've already had my reality and fictional lines crossed before, and it gets easier to accept things. I mean, we woke up in an insane asylum; you can't really be surprised by these things anymore."

He was most definitely caught off guard. "It doesn't bother you?" It could have just been the difference between them: Edward had been lying for his entire life, attempting to hide everything he was to nearly everyone... and Bella had nothing to hide besides him. If everything had just been laid down in a book, what had been the point of all that lying? All that evasion?

Edward wanted to pretend he could be as blasé as Bella could, but. Tell a control freak none of his decisions were of his own volition and see what happened.

It really did bring things into perspective, like she had mentioned the names he'd seen on the bulletin board. Captain James Kirk. Harvey Dent. Peter Parker (Spiderman, really? That would be rather interesting.) Now he was glad he had been so vague to Dent in the one meeting they had had. He hadn't seemed unstable, and neither had Stefan and Damon. That was what had cemented the whole thing in his mind.

"I know it's real. I know we are. But I can't pretend it doesn't bother me. It may be because my time has been so much longer. It just... trivializes that." He shrugged, attempting nonchalance. "The whole thing just surprised me is all. I suppose I've been trying to think all those names were nicknames of some sort. I shouldn't be surprised because of what I am, like you said."

"Well, I mean, yeah, it kind of bothers me," Bella admitted, frowning. "I don't like to think that people I don't know know things about me ... or about conversations I have with people ... maybe they even know what I'm thinking! I don't like to dwell on that huge invasion of privacy," she hadn't even really thought about that. Her mental track was ... pretty embarrassing, when she thought about the first few months after meeting Edward, and if anyone else could see what she had been thinking about ...

Instantly, Bella's face turned red with embarrassment, and she rolled onto her stomach to hide her face in Edward's pillow, letting out a moan. "Oooooh god."

However, even though she was currently being humiliated, Bella was still listening to Edward as he admitted how bothered he was. "I understand what you're saying," she told him, rolling back over once she was sure he face wasn't as red as tomato. "But ... still. Everything will be important, no matter what," she pushed herself up so she was sitting next to Edward once again, a small smile crossing her lips. "Maybe we should think about it as we shared ... our special times with others? I mean, I'm sure the book didn't talk about everything ..."

Bella scooted closer to Edward, once again reaching out for one of his hands, holding it between both of hers. "I love you, no matter what ... embarrassing things people know about me or you, no matter what anyone else says. Forever."

Laughing at her embarrassment, her admittance cooled his worries. If that was one thing he would love to learn from her, it was that: less worrying. About some times, at least. Why let the knowledge bother him? Now that he thought of it, it was rather hypocritical for him to be bothered at all by imagining a novel trivializing his life. Hadn't he himself found little interest in his life before her? He had already trivialized it himself. There was a certain irony in that the only things he had ever really appreciated about his life before Bella were the things he could barely remember.

Or the memories that had been corrupted. The soft, malleable skin of his mother, drained of its color and missing in some spots, revealed the working muscle and bone underneath -

Not worrying. That's what he was doing. Not worrying.

"You're right," he said, looking at their hands entwined. "Of course you are. There's only one problem with what you've said." As his eyes traveled back up to her face, his lips were pulled back into an impish grin. "I don't like sharing. Would you like to try something tonight? Something we've never tried before, something the books wouldn't have written about? Not quite that," he emphasized, in case her mind happened to travel to sex, "but something new."

Well, at least he had calmed down. Honestly, the only reason she was worried was because Edward was worried; he thought it trivialized the things they went through, made them seem meaningless and unimportant in the whole of things. However, Bella knew that this was not true; and it was starting to look like Edward finally agreed. That was all that mattered to her.

Her attention was instantly on the vampire in front of her when he finally spoke again, a small laugh escaping her lips as she grinned up at him. "Well, that makes two of us, then."

And instantly her attention was drawn elsewhere, to Edward's grin, and the way the words he said thrilled her -

Until ... "Not quite that," he added in, as if he really could read her mind at that moment.

Bella let out a moan, an expression of fake anger crossing her face, even though her lip twitched constantly, as if she was fighting off a smile. "Oh, fine. Always so demanding and controlling. How could you do this to innocent little me.

"But," her face quickly became calm, and it was obvious she was trying desperately to hide her excitement. "I'm for anything. I'm even up for kissing if you change your mind. I mean," her eyes lowered, and she once again tried to copy his dazzle. "I haven't seen you all day, you know? I'm getting pretty sick of this whole not being able to even hold hands with you thing during the day."

"That doesn't seem fair. I don't think any part of that was demanding or controlling. I asked you if you wanted to, didn't I?" He didn't see her lip twitch because he had suddenly looked away, looked at the covers of the bed and their hands between them and the wall behind her. It was probably for the best, because it would have made what he wanted to try harder.

"I've been thinking about what you've offered since we were in our meadow the last time. I remember what I offered. I thought of how much has changed since then. I'm nearly human now - my venom doesn't change people, and I'm rather weak overall. So I've thought of asking you to... practice my control again. It's going to be harder because of my new diet." A nicer way of admitting his drinking of human blood. There was no excuse for that. None. A shudder of disgust went through him, but he continued, "I've wanted to for a while, now. It's completely selfish of me, of course, but I would like the sense of normalcy."

Drum roll, please.

He could have laughed at himself. It all seemed so pathetic. What he wanted to do was what most teenagers had already done, had done when they had just become teenagers. Even after a hundred years, Bella made him.... nervous. It was all very new and all very difficult. This would be all the harder because he was thirsty even now and human blood was in his veins. "It shouldn't be a big deal, and now I'm just running my mouth and being flustered. So, yes. I would like to kiss you, if that would be all right."

Bella was going to tell Edward that it was a joke, but he was still talking - rather fast, she noted; an obvious sign of his nervousness - and she couldn't help but smile as she watched him. Despite the fact that he constantly reminded her of the fact that he was over 100 years old and that he shouldn't be having "accidents" at his age ... he really still was a boy. A boy who, despite currently living in the 2000s, was still stuck in 1918 when it came to how to act around the girl he cared for. His flustered expression, the way he couldn't look at her when he spoke, the fact he was still asking if he could kiss her and if she was okay with it ... all of it was endearing in a way she hadn't even thought possible.

Even though Edward hadn't laughed at himself, Bella did, her laughter a soft hum as she scooted closer to him on the bed, still gripping tightly onto his hand. She could still remember their first time in the meadow, when he had asked her to hold still as he pressed his ear to her heart. Despite the fact that it had been very innocent, the gesture had still been strangely intimate. Would he want to do something like that now?

"There's nowhere else I'd rather want to be in the world than by your side," she told him in a gentle tone, reaching her free hand up to gently press against his cheek, hoping that the gesture would calm him down. "And I promise this time I won't attack you," a pause. "Maybe. I mean, you can't blame me if I do, right? Kidding," she said in a laugh, biting down on her bottom lip as she tried to serious up.

A few seconds later, Bella shut her eyes and leaned forward, pressing her lips gently against Edward's own. He said he wanted to practice his control ... so it was all up to him to see how far he could get.

Though she also made sure to mentally remind herself to not try and take his clothes off. That was a huge no no.

Right. He could do this.

He didn't respond to her jests, already internally trying to steel himself for this. If it didn't work, he reminded himself, it was okay. He could just... pull back. There was no chance of hurting her, even if he jerked out of her grip. That was comforting, right? He couldn't snap her wrists or break her ribs or push her where she didn't want to go. He never wanted to force her to do anything, it was just accidental. He would move like a 17 year old boy, disconnected from the monster that was his body. He would try to impress her, or be comforting, and it would be shackles.

No chance of that now. He was free to be... just a boy. Just her boy. The boy who would marry her. A boy from the past who had finally found the girl he loved.

Edward inhaled deeply before her lips touched his, his red eyes sealed behind his own eyelids. It was part of the moment, and partly because he was afraid to watch her. It was private. And he was always waiting for the disgust. Even after years, there was always a chance it would come. It could come now, especially.

The kiss started as they all did. She moved, he followed. The ministrations were ones they had all done before, the flavor the same but still sweet. His hands would always be as hungry as his mouth during their kisses, and even now they slipped out of her grasp and into her hair, cupping the sides of her head. Usually his lips would remain closed during the whole thing, quickly swallowing venom as it pooled in his mouth. It didn't matter now, though. Nothing did except the girl.

But he wanted to be different. He wanted this to be a first. That was why his lips did not remain closed; he opened them, tentatively at first, before he tasted her and wanted more. He commended himself for not losing his control immediately, for not pushing her back on the bed like he wanted to and getting on top of her. No. It was chaste. As chaste as his tongue could be, at least.

If anything Bella learned over the months (which felt like years) she had been with Edward, it was to be patient. Sure, he had also taught her how to be impatient (rudely so), but it really didn't matter. Yes, she had been patient with her mother, yes, she had been patient with her father. However, the type of patience she practiced then and now were completely different. With her parents, she practiced not snapping and being frustrated, but with Edward, she had to be patient to ... get what she wanted.

Patience was a virtue, after all.

One barely practiced, she thought to herself as Edward's lips finally met hers, and she let out a content sigh against his lips, allowing all of the stress and discomfort from the previous day seep out of her and be replaced by that constant warmth she had whenever she was around him. It was nice.

However, when his hands tangled in her hair and the kiss deepened to one unlike before, the warmth was instantly gone, replaced by pure heat. Calm yourself down, crazy, she told herself, and ever so slowly her hands lifted to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to herself (without actually getting on his lap, but oh god, she wanted to) in a tight grip. Soon she was meeting his kiss with her own, heart pounding in her ears, muting out everything else. With her chest pressed against his, she felt that he could actually feel her heart pounding through her skin and bones to reach him.

Easy, Cullen, his mind was saying, trying to futilely hold onto his control. Even if he wasn't strong, it was true: he had to remain careful. It was probably a bad idea to try even if he was the slightest bit thirsty -

But once he tasted her, there was no simply telling himself "no" and pulling away. His fingers danced through her hair, twisting and uncurling the brown locks with expert grace, not tangling a single strand with his movements. Moving her hair only released more of her scent into his room, amplifying the taste of her mouth with the smell. It was more than enough to overload his senses. Having closed his eyes when he began, it was all the more obvious how everything she was pulled him closer to her.

As she physically was doing as well. For once, he wasn't complaining. The heat soothed his cold skin, though it was mostly blocked by the thickness of both of their ugly grey shirts.

She was right. He could feel her little heart fluttering like a trapped bird, though he was annoyed by how subtle it felt. His hands must have decided he wanted to feel her heartbeat closer, because one had disentangled itself from her hair in order to slip under the very bottom of her shirt to curl around the curve of her waist, sliding upwards until her shirt had began to bunch right under her breasts.

Bella always loved it when Edward played with her hair; it was always so calming, so safe. However, not it was oddly the opposite. The feeling of his fingers through her hair caused her skin to practically fizzle with electricity, much like it had done those many times during biology, or when they were alone in his car. Even though she had felt the same heat dance through her before, this time it felt different. It felt new.

And that newness excited her. (But then again, everything concerning Edward excited her. She chose not to think of that, though.)

That excitement, however, quickly erupted when Bella felt his hand move up her side, moving up and up -

Before she could stop it, a soft sound escaped her lips, almost like a whimper. At once Bella felt the embarrassment bubbling under the surface. Pretend you didn't hear that, she wanted to say to him, but she didn't want to stop kissing him. Ever, if she could help it.

With her stomach and the beginning of her chest exposed, Bella couldn't help but tighten her grip on Edward's shirt, pulling it up slightly in her death grip. With now (at least a little) of his own skin showing, she pressed herself against him, shuddering from the feel of his skin against her own. His cooler body felt amazing against her almost too hot one, and she really wanted to take his shirt off ...

Bad Bella, bad bad bad, she hissed mentally to herself, and yet her hands were still ever so slowly pulling his shirt up too. Maybe he won't notice, she continued to think to herself, a small smile crossing her lips as she continued to kiss Edward, A girl can dream.

There was a buzzing in his fingertips that felt like electricity, but subtle; it was pleasant, but demanded attention. Edward realized, like Bella, he had felt it before - in the classroom, in the car. When they had first met, when the relationship had started. It always seemed to be there when they were getting closer, in the moments when he felt like there was progress instead of the unending backpedaling they sometimes did.

Edward swallowed the whimper and smiled in the middle of the kiss, his lips turning upwards against hers endlessly pumping. However, the limitations were always in his mind, despite what Bella wanted. After a few more moments he broke away from her, pulling his tongue back into his own mouth, but close enough still to her face that he could feel her hot breaths on his nose. "You can if you want," he said (more panting than his usual smooth speech), grinning down at her victoriously as she tussled with his shirt, trying to be subtle about it and failing. How could he not notice every place she was touching him? "Just this once. But we - we have to remember to stop. This is just a test."

At least he still sounded in control. That was good. Despite his stomach jumping back from the touch of her heat, he still... sounded okay. Maybe he could do this. Her taste was still in his mouth and the venom was flowing, burning his throat, but he felt okay.

That was where the most victory came for him.

By the time Edward pulled away from their kiss - Damn vampire! - Bella's cheeks were still a bright pink color, as opposed to the red they were moments ago. However, she didn't know if it was because she was still embarrassed, or because of the fact she was really, really, really hot and her heart was still pounding in her chest.

However, when Edward actually said that she could take his shirt off, she swore for a minute that her heart actually stopped from the sheer joy that she was feeling.

Despite her body screaming at her to "DO IT NOW", Bella still hesitated, looking up at him with heated eyes. "Are you sure? Really sure?" she asked, her fingers practically twitching in her need to take the damn piece of clothing off. "I don't want to push you, and I swear I'll stop, I promise. If I don't, you can," a pause. "Pull my hair or something. Or pinch me. Something. Whatever."

"And I'd say you can take my shirt off too," she quickly added, giving him the side eye. "But I have a feeling you'd vehemently turn that down, despite ..." where his hand currently was, which remembering suddenly made her need to take his shirt off all the more urgent.

Screw it, Bella thought to herself, and began to pull his shirt up and over his head, so it hung on his arms, and she stared at him. "You can do the rest as long as you promise to put your hands right back where they are."

Despite himself, he laughed breathlessly in her face, having the good graces after a moment to turn away in case it became louder. Was this how ridiculous he had always been? It made sense; he was taking a risk right now, and he had always been so careful. Of course she would be unsure of him. What else had he been expecting?

"It's just a damn shirt," he said between the laughs. She didn't wait very long to listen for his answer, considering she was already trying to maneuver the piece of fabric off of him by the time he finished talking. He helped her at the end, shaking the shirt off of his arms and letting it fall... somewhere on the bed. He wasn't really paying attention to that. If he'd had the mind to think it, he would have been thinking how glad he was this wasn't intensely more awkward. In fact, he felt extremely comfortable right now.

Except the burning. But it was an acceptable sacrifice.

"Besides, I'm trying very hard to surprise you right now," he added after he'd shaken his head a bit and blown any stray bangs out of his face, "so I am not adverse to this idea." While normally he would have asked permission, by this point she had provided it. Even human slow, he was still very fluid - which was why he was able to finish rolling her shirt up over her arms without getting her hair tangled or his arms lost in the sudden wave of heat. To someone like him, it was akin to being in a sauna.

As per her instructions, his hands went back to where they had previous rested, but this time he bent his elbows back with the movement so he could attempt to surprise her once more - by placing a very short kiss on the naked skin above her navel.

"Just a damn shirt!" she repeated, eyes wide, trying her hardest to look surprised even though she was almost literally about to burst at the seams from happiness. "Is this the same Edward Cullen I'm speaking to or are you a double they sent in?"

Bella couldn't help but laugh right along side Edward as he spoke about surprising her, and she bit her lip to try and silence the excited squeaks she was probably going to start making within a matter of moments -

Especially when he said he was not adverse to the idea of her taking off her shirt.

I've died. This has to be a dream.

Once her shirt was off (for once!), Bella threw it god only knew where in the room, while Edward's sat happily on the bed. Oh well, she thought to herself, It's not like I'll be here when I wake up. This is his room, after all. Of course, she didn't like the idea of someone she didn't know putting her shirt back on while she was unconscious, but she didn't even dare to mention that. She was sure if she did, Edward would immediately tell her to put it back on and to never take it off again.

Shuddering at the cold of the room (though she herself was feeling very hot), Bella opened her mouth to speak -

And instantly shut it, a laugh escaping her lips when Edward suddenly pressed a kiss to her stomach, her head tilting back as she did. Her hands moved to his face, pulling him up so she could protect herself from any more potential tickle attacks even though she knew that hadn't been his intention. Still, a shudder shot down her spine, and she smiled to him despite the ecstatic giggles that were still trying to escape her lips. "I love you, you crazy boy," she told him, drawing him back in for yet another kiss.

And to think, she didn't even care about the fact that she was topless! However, since she still was wearing a bra, she supposed it wasn't really that big of a deal.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Night 53: M111-M120 Hallway

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