Day 50: Chapel

[full-score.livejournal.com]

The last thing Claude heard was the Head Doctor's voice faintly filtering into the corridors of the ship before he found himself tucked beneath the sheets of his bed. It took a moment to register he'd even changed locations, but then he he abruptly sat up, fought the wave of nausea that washed over him, and felt the blankets beneath his fingers. The room. He was back in his room now. Under different circumstances, he might have wondered if last night had been some horrid dream, but the sharp pain in his eyes gave him a rude awakening. Hissing through his teeth, Claude buried the heels of his palms against his lids, only to discover two cold compresses had been taped over them.

"Good morning, Thomas," he heard the nurse's cheerful voice from beside his bed. Her sudden presence nearly made him jump out of his skin, and he sharply turned toward the source of the greeting, heart beating rapidly in his chest. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well today, but hopefully you can still enjoy some of the activities we have planned."

'Not feeling well' was a bit of an understatement. His hand hurt, his stomach kept turning with every movement, and it felt like someone had dumped a bunch of sand into both eye sockets. Right now, Claude just wanted the nurse to leave him be, but it didn't look like that was an option. Taking his uninjured hand, she gently tugged him out of bed, despite his protests that, no, really, he just wanted to stay in and sleep, please.

"I think getting out of your room a little bit will do you good," she told him. "I'm sorry your eyes are probably hurting, though. If you're ever feeling uncomfortable, don't hesitate to ask one of us for some pills."

"What about eye drops?" Claude asked tightly.

"Oh, no, too much of that could damage your eyes," she cautioned, and the sheer irony of the situation hit Claude so hard that it would have been laughable if he didn't already feel like crying right then. The nurse was as oblivious to it as always, however. "I know you usually go into the chapel during this shift. Would you like to go there again?" Claude didn't answered immediately, but that didn't deter the nurse. "Yes, I think that sounds best..."

In truth, he probably should have requested the sun room -- it was closer, for one, which meant the nurse didn't have to lead him as far of a distance. For another, lying down on one of their sofas sounded like a good option. But by the time Claude came to that conclusion, he was too stubborn to say anything, and he made his way up to the second floor, his footing slow, but steady.

The nurse deposited him on one of the central pews, next to the aisle, before leaving him to himself. Thankfully, it was still early in the shift. As he paused to listen, the room was mostly silent, save for the footsteps and hushed voices of the occasional staff member or patient who trickled in. But it was probably only a matter of time before others came. For some reason, the thought of being stuck in a crowded room made him tense, not necessarily because he thought anyone would pay him any mind, but because he simply didn't want it right then.

Somehow, the full implications of what happened last night hadn't sunken in: experiments, healing himself, the issue of whether he could actually go home after this, not being able to see, the ship, father. Instead, he just felt saturated with all of it, paralyzed by the horror of what they'd done to him, and the uncertainty of what it all meant beyond this moment. Claude took a shuddering breath, uninjured hand balling into a fist in his lap.

[For Guy.]

Comments

[oftemptation.livejournal.com]

Endrance nodded once, not saying anything immediately. He couldn't say he had felt exactly the same way, but close enough, particularly during that confusing time right after...right after Mia had gone away the first time.

It was still hard to think about that whole incident, even years later. There were so many emotions mixed up in the whole thing...everyone he was sure was a friend had betrayed him, and it seemed like an alliance with a known enemy was better than doing nothing. It was the wrong decision in the end, but...he could understand that feeling.

"I...I don't know exactly what that feels like, but...I understand that feeling like you can't trust anyone. I've been there...it's really...it's hard."

Endrance was just about to say something else about the sword, but that last question tossed all thoughts of that right out of his mind. His hand felt a whole lot warmer, and he was sure his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. There weren't words enough for the feeling.

"I...I feel the same," he answered, trying to keep his voice low. "I like this...being like this. I feel like I know you better than I did, and that...it means a lot, Haseo. I..."

[feartehreaper.livejournal.com]

Trust was indeed a strange thing. Hard when you didn't have any, harder still to pull oneself out of that state of lacking. Haseo half-heartedly scoffed, but if nothing else he knew one thing was clear: he couldn't trust the institute in any way. Therefore, all he literally had was the trust in the friends he had alongside him.

He needed to get out, though, for their own sake and that of unfinished business. It had been practically habit to focus on them for a long time, and although his scope was wider now and his motivations had transformed over time, he refused to let his goals escape him.

"Chasing a dream," he said quietly, echoing something he'd heard once, albeit from a person he no longer cared anything for. He glanced over at Endrance again, not sure how he was supposed to be feeling with the taste of bittersweet memories still so strong in his mind. However, he'd have to take what he could get, so... at least until the shift changed again, right now that was enough.