damned_institute | Day 48: Courtyard [Fourth Shift]

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Day 48: Courtyard [Fourth Shift]

So much for a relaxing shower. Anise couldn't possibly relax around someone with a voice like that! This was beyond weird. How could a girl who didn't have any relation to Sync have the exact same voice as him?

And what made it even weirder was that this wasn't even the first time Anise had encountered something like that. There was a boy, who also had tattoos like hers, who sounded just like Luke. What was his name? It was so long ago, Anise couldn't remember. Maybe she'd know it if she heard it again, but...

That gave her an idea. She wasn't using her journal for much besides cooking notes, recipes, and a few room numbers, right? Maybe from now on, whenever she saw or heard something really strange or suspicious, she'd write it down. Then, if it happened again or she learned more about it, she could look back to the entry and add the details. She'd call it... 'Anise's Mystery Diary.' That sounded kind of cool!

During the lunch shift, Anise worked on putting as many memories as possible to paper. The radio man, the rumored third floor, the ruins she found last night, things like that. By the time fourth shift rolled around, she wasn't quite done yet. It was getting harder to think of more things to write about, even though she was sure there were hundreds of mysteries in the institute. Maybe she'd feel more inspired if she took her writing outside.

"Oh, Dolores!" A nurse came to stop her as she was walking out the door. "If you're going outside, you should put on a coat! We wouldn't want you catching a cold." Even though Anise disliked being assisted by the nurses, she cooperated as the woman helped her into the coat, quickly putting Tokunaga back in its place on her back when they were finished. It did look kind of cold out, so there was no point in arguing.

Outside, Anise found herself a bench to sit on while she wrote some more in her journal. Occasionally she'd pause and fidget with the pen for a bit, or doodle some stars and other shapes into the corner of the page she was on, unsure of what to write next.

[free!]

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Neku wasn't thrilled to be out in the cold again, but at least this time his hair wasn't wet. He'd thought he'd calmed down after talking with Sheena, but lunch just left him feeling like he'd been hit with a bucket of cold water. As if it wasn't bad enough watching one of his friends die last night, now he didn't even know if he could trust Hanekoma. Forget trying to explain it to Leonard too. He had enough trouble without trying to figure out different planes of existence. So did Neku for that matter, he thought dryly.

Glancing around, there were few people he actually wanted to talk to. He didn't know a single one except Sora, who seemed to be smiling and off in his own little world in spite of the dismal weather and awful circumstances they were in. How could he stay so happy anyway? Some kind of medication? The way he was staring into the water and almost laughing to himself was enough to make Neku second guess his decision to walk over.

Instead of offering a greeting, he neared Sora and tried to peer over his shoulder, just in case there was something in the water worth looking into. Nope. At least there was nothing he could make out in the cloudy pond water. Big surprise. His mouth formed a flat line and he let out a sigh.

"Hey."

Noticing that someone was walking up close to him, Sora turned away from the pond right as Neku reached him and said hello. The Keyblade Master smiled at him (even if Neku wasn't smiling, that didn't mean he couldn't!). "Hey!" he greeted in return. The last time he had seen his lookalike had been in the Sun Room when that jerk had been attacking them, and Sora was glad to see that the boy had been doing all right since then.

Well, to an extent. "All right" meant that he was able to walk around without crutches. Just judging from the other boy's expression, the rest of him wasn't doing as well.

"So... you okay?" It was probably a stupid question, but Sora didn't know how else he should ask. He drew a hand up behind him to scratch at the back of his head and sent Neku a concerned look. "I know this place can be pretty rough sometimes." At this point, Sora had to admit that he was getting used to it. It wasn't that the terrible things that happened hurt any less, but he could prepare for them a little better. It was terrible having to admit to that, but it was still true.

"I've been better," he shrugged. Though he might not know Sora very well, they had a lot more in common than he'd thought. And hell, he hadn't known Shiki or Beat or the others for more than a few days before he talked openly with them. It was the stress of the sitation, he figured, that forced people to clash and learn and change each other so fast.

"One of my friends got killed last night," he explained after another sigh, hand rubbing the back of his neck in an unconscious gesture. It wasn't that he wanted pity or anything, and he wasn't even sure that was what was bothering him most right now. Joshua's death, or the information that came to light because of it. The things Mr. H had told him at lunch left his mind spinning.

"And I'm not even sure who I can trust anymore. It's kinda hard to deal."

Neku's initial response was a pretty standard one here. Most of the patients couldn't say they were doing very well while stuck here, and Sora couldn't judge them for that. It was even hard on him sometimes, and he'd been through his fair share of stuff in the past. But he'd always been able to keep on the move, to make progress, to do something... Whereas here, he was stuck and forced to just wait for bad things to happen a lot of the time. It wasn't easy.

But then Neku came out with some shocking news that Sora honestly hadn't been expecting. Maybe he should have, but hearing that someone had actually died was always enough to pull the rug out from under him. (Or the grass, in this case.) Disappearances were one thing, but...

"Who?" he blurted out without really thinking. "What happened? Are you all right?" The boy was out of his room and walking around, at least, but if it really was a friend, then that couldn't be easy to deal with. Neku seemed to be trying to put on a strong face, but chances were that he needed someone to talk to right now. Sora just hoped he could be helpful.

Neku glanced up for a second, shaking his head. Maybe he was bandaged up some, but compared to Joshua, he was doing just fine. Mostly it was just cuts and scratches from stray bits of metal.

"Joshua," he answered after a few seconds. "He was from Shibuya, like me. We were partners my second week in the game and... he might've been a jerk sometimes, but he didn't deserve that."

It was far from Neku's nature to be open with people, but it got easier with time. And Sora was just asking him to relate what had happened. It was difficult, moreso than he'd thought, but eventually the words came out, even if they lacked some of his usual style.

"That mathe-philiac Sho Minamimoto was stalking us. We were on different sides back in Shibuya and I guess he hadn't forgotten. He flung some kind of gas tank at us, then lit it up." He rubbed his arm, the sparse bandages the only indication that last night had actually happened.

"I didn't think it could happen so fast," he said with a smirk that didn't quite fit. It was gone as fast as it'd come, emotions felt out of place and strange on his face, so it was easier not to try. "Even worse, someone else, someone I thought I could trust, might've had a hand in it."

The last thing Sora would have expected was to recognize the name he was given. Even though he'd met tons of people during his time here at Landel's, it just hadn't occurred to him that he and Neku might have a mutual friend. In the end it did make sense, though. With the two of them already sharing a few other things in common...

"Joshua? I think... I think I spoke to him a few times. Did he have silver hair?" Sora didn't know if the name was common or not, but it was better to double check. Still, he remembered the way the boy had told him how someone had been after him and threatening him. The knowledge that he hadn't been able to help in some way nagged painfully at Sora, but there was no way he could have known.

Plus, he couldn't feel even half as bad as Neku, who had been there to watch what sounded like a terrible death. "I..." Sora sighed and lowered his head, trying to find the words. "I'm sorry, Neku. Dead isn't always dead here, though, you know? He might come back, even if you think he's gone."

He wanted to tell the other boy that he was one person who he could trust, but he wasn't sure if they were close enough for that yet. He also wasn't sure if that was what Neku wanted to hear right now. Sora did slowly lift his hand up to put on Neku's shoulder, though. It was the least he could do. The boy didn't seem like the hugging type, so he'd leave it at that.

Neku nodded once at Sora's description. He wasn't particularly talkative on the best of days, but with this hanging over his head, it didn't exactly make him babbling ray of sunshine. While he didn't want to think about it, he couldn't just hide from the facts. And at least Sora's sympathy didn't seem forced or artificial. But dead wasn't dead? Normally he would've agreed. It was Joshua, the same one who'd made a miraculous comeback in the Reaper's game, but then... that time he hadn't actually seen Josh's body, bloodied and dying. It was just a flash of light and he'd vanished. This time was different.

"If anyone could pull it off, he would," Neku sighed, but hardly felt the humor in it. The hand on his shoulder was kind of strange, but he didn't flinch away or shrug it off. There were so few people here he could actually trust, or that he'd known for more than a couple of days. It felt like starting all over from Day 1.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here. First it was help Josh, but now... I don't have a clue."

So it was the same person. Sora felt a tight pain in his chest when he had that confirmed, but he tried to push it away. It was nothing compared to what Neku was going through right now. Even if the comment that the other boy made about Joshua was done mirthlessly, it was still some acknowledgment that he was holding out hope. Sora knew that there were some people who disappeared (or died) and never came back, but they could at least cross their fingers that Joshua wouldn't be one of them.

"You know, he told me how someone was after him, or trying to hurt him. So... that was the same guy from the other day?" Having a face to put with Joshua's killer probably wasn't a good thing. Now Sora wanted to make him pay somehow, but he knew that wouldn't be possible here. It wasn't his job, either. He handled the Heartless, but this was clearly Neku's fight. Still, if he needed help...

As for a goal, Sora thought he might be able to help with that. "Well, getting home is one thing," he pointed out. "Or helping other people. There are clubs you could join," he suggested. "Just let me know if you need anything, okay? I told Joshua I would help if I could, but I wasn't able to. So I'd at least like to help you." He pulled his hand away and took a small step back, crossing his arms over his chest to look serious. Because he was.

Sounded like Leonard wasn't the only one Joshua had tried to get on his side in this game. At least Sora knew who he was talking about. And he knew who Sho was too. Saved him some explaining, especially when he didn't feel much like talking.

"Yeah. Same guy."

Sora had plenty of suggestions, but it was hard to take it seriously with Minamimoto still on the loose. And even if they did get home, he wasn't sure he wanted one where the mathematician was the new Composer. Even if Hanekoma didn't seem to care either way, Minamimoto was a rule breaker too. He'd used the taboo noise against them and if he was willing to go that far, who knew what he'd do to the Shibuya they knew? It'd probably be a trash heap in under a week.

So really, that left only one option. If he didn't want Sho to be the next Composer, wouldn't he have to be erased? It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it or even erased some of the Reapers in the game, but that was life or death! If they didn't fight, they'd have been erased instead.

"Maybe," he said finally. "There's something I should probably take care of first before I think about helping anyone. I don't... think it would be fair to ask you to help. But..."

Neku hesitated again, meeting Sora's eyes for a second. They were clear and blue and once again he was reminded of how similar they seemed to his own. But they were still very different people, when it came down to it. "Josh was kind of... important where we came from. And if things are left as they are then... when we go home, Sho will be the one to take over Joshua's power. I don't want to think about what he might do to Shibuya."

So that guy who had been going on about the math lesson was the one who had killed Joshua. Sora found it hard to believe, but it wasn't like all of the Nobodies looked like they were capable of stealing people's hearts without a second thought. You couldn't judge by appearances. More than that, he knew that Neku wouldn't lie to him about something this important. Sora just wished he would have known before it reached this terrible ending...

When Neku slowly started to explain what he felt it was that he had to do, Sora eventually realized what the boy was getting at. It wasn't even a matter of revenge, at least not entirely. It sounded like that math guy was going to be a big problem if he was allowed to stick around, and that put Sora in an awkward position.

He'd done his best to tell himself that focusing on other patients in this place was the wrong way to go about things. When he'd fought against Xigbar, that had been because the Nobody had forced him into it. It wasn't like he could blame Neku for feeling like he had to do something about Joshua's killer, though.

"I... I get it," he said after a pause. "I'm not sure what I can do, since... I don't even know him." Sora pulled his hand up behind his head and rubbed at it sheepishly. "Still, if you don't think you can do it by yourself, I'll do what I can." It was a conflict of interest, to be sure, but Sora didn't think he could just turn the boy down so easily.

"I don't know either," Neku said in reply. Even if it seemed like the most logical answer, could he really go through with something like that? He'd known that Joshua was the Composer, known that Joshua was the one who pulled the trigger and got him into the game in the first place and even then, even with his own life on the line, he couldn't kill Josh in the end. He couldn't do it. Would that be any different now just because it was his friend instead of him?

It'd taken a good week before for him to cool his head about it all, but he didn't have that kind of time here. This place still played with his emotions and weaknesses, but in a very different way.

"I don't even know if I can," he started again. What if that wasn't what Joshua wanted him to do anyway? Josh had wanted to make a better Shibuya hadn't he? In the end, that's what'd happened. But Mr. H didn't seem to care who was running Shibuya. And if rules got broken, would he be sending his own hit out on Sho next? Or was it because he wanted someone like Minamimoto as the new Composer? If they'd been working together, it wasn't that hard to believe.

"Sorry. Everything's just so screwed up. I need to get my head on straight."

So it looked like Neku was having trouble, too. Even though a friend of his had been murdered, it wasn't that easy to just turn around and retaliate with more killing. Then again, Sora wasn't sure what he would do if someone took Kairi or Riku's life. He had no idea if Neku had been as close to Joshua as he was to his two friends, but it was a hard thing to think about either way.

While he'd managed to justify what he'd done with Organization XIII, it'd become more and more difficult for those arguments to hold up as time had gone by. Sora tried not to dwell on it too much, but it was difficult to hold to that when things like this came up.

When Neku apologized, Sora gave a violent shake of his head. "No, no, it's fine! Just take some time to think about it, and let me know if you need anything, all right?" He wasn't sure if Neku would actually take him up on the offer, but all he could do was extend his hand and hope that the other boy would actually grasp it.

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Day 48: Courtyard [Fourth Shift]

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