damned_institute | Nightshift 22: M21

Xemnas' plan to get information from his roommate turned out to be a failure, as his roommate didn't even show up. Instead, he decided to gather information by investigating the room he was in. He had stumbled on various items which were quite out of place for an institute such as this. Journals and pens, he could understand. But a flashlight? Or a radio?

Xemnas suspected this institute wasn't as it seemed to be. It was rather unfortunate that none of his subordinates could explain the details before they were escorted back to their respective rooms. Xemnas had hoped he could receive information from his roommate, but that too had failed.

The Superior's suspicions were confirmed as soon as he heard the announcement over the intercom. The way this man spoke was quite enough to confirm anything. A complete contrast from the announcements during the day. Such a happy facade they held up, but for who?

He noted the hallway was completely shrouded in darkness. Surely, other doors must've been unlocked as well, but he didn't hear a sound. Not even footsteps. Just his own breathing.

Confirming there weren't any direct threats, Xemnas carefully stepped out in the hallway, closing the door quietly behind him.

[ Wondering off to here ]

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"You are going to abandon me." It was simple truth. Tamaki knew it. He was something that Adel couldn't stand. And it didn't matter if he was abandoned or not. He didn't care. What would it matter?

"My grandmother can rip away everything whenever she wants. She can leave me poor and on the streets, if she wants to. She threatens to. Someone else can inherit my father's lands and properties. It doesn't have to be me. But she uses me. I never used to care about it before now. It's funny how things become so clear so suddenly. So it looks like both our lives are nothing, really."

He didn't even realize how strange what he was saying really was. But little by little, feeling was creeping back. A tinge of sadness, a touch of depression. They began to slip into the empty spaces the phantasm left.

"I abandoned my mother, Adelheid. And I don't know where she is or what happened to her. I'm not allowed to try and contact her, or ask any questions about her. I have to act like she really is dead, or I'll lose everything." He did look at Adel now, his eyes showing some small glimmer of focusing.

"What could I have possibly given you?"

A very faint grin appeared at that, and Adelheid slowly shook his head. "You say that... as though losing everything would be the end of your world. Perhaps it is different for me, but such a reversal can be surmounted. Nor do I believe that either of our lives are 'nothing'; so long as one still draws breath, then there is always the chance to struggle and succeed. Reversals, even being nearly destroyed... or even possibly losing your mother... are not an end."

The stronger teenager let go of Tamaki, slowly scooping up his spear, even though that taxed his reserves once more. "Nor will your grandmother live forever. If you look at it from that point of view, time is a strong ally on your own side." He hated how cold he sounded, but he had to get into the mold of a 'merchant of death', he had to start removing his kinder nature in this setting. Kindness couldn't even save a kitten, how could it possibly save a human being? "And when the inevitable happens, you will be able to search for her as you please. That is a hope that not everyone possesses."

"As for what you have given me... surely, the same person who saw through me earlier today could figure that out without a difficulty. In time, you'll understand." A gentle smile was on Adelheid's face as he finally straightened back up again. Or perhaps the boy truly didn't know the kind of gift that he had bestowed without even thinking about it?

"We can't succeed at all. This place is too strong. Even you're defeated by it. If you can't overcome this place, how can any of us?" Tamaki's emotions were returning, in a manner of speaking. Depression and loss were seeping into him, filling him with things he hadn't felt since he was very young.

"She's smart, my grandmother. The conditions of our bargain will be in her will. She'll hold on to me from beyond the grave. She isn't a bad person, she was raised this way, but I'll never be able to see my mother again. I could have, if I married Eclair. But I was foolish and I broke the engagement. I made a mistake..." he sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping once more.

Adel could say all these things, but it wouldn't mean anything. Because Adel would find out about what had happened, and he would hate him. He'd been willing to abandon their friendship over a single kiss before - he'd do it again.

"You really should just leave me, Adel. It would be better - for both of us."

"...do you truly think that I am the strongest here, or indeed that I'm the standard by which to be compared?" Adelheid shook his head, rejecting that out of hand. "Rather, shouldn't you say that, because they 'defeated' someone that even I fear, that we have no hope? And yet I do; my own strength is not enough, nor, does it seem, that it will even be enough in my world. I have been defeated before, and likely I will be defeated again. And yet... I am still here. And so long as I still draw breath, I know that I can learn and become even stronger. That is true for everyone here, even for one such as you."

In fact, Adelheid knew that it had been foolish to explore on his own, and that he would have to cease doing so if he wished to avoid such pain. He needed to join his power with others, to be on a team; it was still a bitter pill to swallow, but he would do so in time.

"As for your grandmother... even the most cunningly-laid strategies can fail. What seems invincible or even god-like can be surmounted, or so I have found. That is all I can truly say on the matter for now; perhaps, once we are free from this world, you will find a way to meet with your mother again on your own terms."

Adelheid didn't say anything about that last part, primarily because he didn't want to acknowledge it. Even though he was saying all of those things, the simple truth was that it would be safer if Tamaki were to be separated from the stronger blond. Someday, perhaps someday soon, he would again be subjected to his curse... and what if he hurt this person, this one who had both claimed friendship and now seemed determined to have that friendship end? It worried Adelheid, and so he locked it away. There was too much to worry about as it was, why add his own concerns on top of that?

"Not for me." Tamaki shook his head. "I'm not strong or smart or fast. I'm not a warrior or a scholar. I'm... I'm just me." And there was a sudden, sinking sensation that he was nothing and never would be anything.

"You're the strongest person I know, Adel. And the bravest, I think. And if you can't get out of here, then no one can." He shook his head, emphatically. He just felt miserable, in ways he couldn't describe. He'd never felt like this before, and he felt like he'd never feel anything but this ever again.

"Please, I just want to rest, Adel. I'm tired and I don't feel well, inside. It's like... it's like my soul is sick. And I want... I want to remember this, I think. You being so nice to me. I'm just going to sit down, and you can go on and do whatever you're heading off to do. Don't worry about me."

A shake of his head at that, and yet Adelheid said nothing in response to all of that. He wasn't the strongest, he wasn't the smartest, nor was he brave more than the simple foolhardiness of youth.

More than that, though; it pained him to think that his kindness was so rare that someone wanted to remember it. But, with his profession, that was what he would have to expect; kindness could do nothing, it was only strength that mattered. This was only reinforcing his view; he would have to get stronger, to become a conduit for ever greater levels of power, for the sake of all of the people he wished to protect.

All Adelheid said, in the end, was, "This way." And then he shepherded Tamaki into the nearest room, not really caring who it belonged to, so long as it was relatively empty and he could protect Tamaki from monsters.

((Limping off to here. (http://community.livejournal.com/landels_damned/76781.html) ))

Nightshift 22: M21 - M30 Hallway

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