damned_institute | DAY 45: Sun Room (Second Shift)

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DAY 45: Sun Room (Second Shift)

There was something fishy going on in the Institute today. All over the bulletin board, people were talking about having "woken up", having been "cured"... and it seemed as though ZEX was one of them. Tanaka wouldn't have recognized the note at all if it hadn't been signed - his wording, his handwriting, even his name had changed - and a part of him still wondered if it had been an imposter, trying to pull the wool over the Captain's allies.

But it'd be easy enough to find out the truth. Whoever it was had agreed to meet him, and Tanaka was waiting for him just outside the cafeteria doors, ready to catch him as he came from breakfast. If "Max" was an imposter, then he'd discover the identity of a hidden enemy. And if he was really ZEX...

...well, he'd have a whole new set of things to worry about.

[for a ~~spoiled rich brat~~ brainwashed Admiral]

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Claude knew Anise wasn't telling the truth, but it wasn't like he could blame her. He knew that if someone asked him the same thing he'd be inclined to give a similar answer. But it was obvious things weren't all right -- how could they be after what had happened in the arena? Guy and Dias were gone. Every time that realization washed over him all over again, another wave of nausea made his stomach turn and he thought he might become ill. But what good would telling that to someone do him, or anyone, for that matter?

And yet, it honestly pained him to see Anise struggle to keep her grief bottled in like that. He understood what a burden that could be on someone, and how unhealthy it could be to just sweep one's problems under the rug. Still, after everything that she'd been through, the fact that she managed to find the energy to hold herself together at all was really quite remarkable.

"You know, I think you're a really brave person, Anise," Claude told her after a moment.

"...Brave?"

Anise shook her head. "Me?" She made a nasal sound, though it was unclear if it was a snort or a sniffle.

"If I were a brave person, I wouldn't have let Sync use me without standing up to him... and I would have told Guy everything when I had the chance!" But she didn't, and he came after Sync without knowing anything about the situation, and the result was a disaster. Maybe if she told him the truth instead, things would have been different.

What else could she have done? She could have run away, or not shown up as Sync demanded. She could have fought back against Sync. She should have realized Dahlia was lying sooner.

Could have, should have... Anise didn't know if any of those things really were plausible, or if they would have led to such a different result. But Anise couldn't help but regret every single decision she had made in the past two days. Somewhere among them, there had to have been something she did wrong. Something that, if she'd done it differently, Guy would still be alive.

"I'm not brave at all..." Anise could feel wetness in her eyes, and she quickly wiped it away. She couldn't let herself cry in front of Claude.

There was no way to know if things would have panned out differently if Anise had come to Guy sooner about what was happening. After all, it wasn't like anyone knew Dahlia was a faker until it was far too late. The outcome very well may have been the same, regardless of whether they'd known Anise was involved. Either way, Claude wasn't saying this stuff just to make Anise feel better. He honestly believed Anise was brave, and he hoped he conveyed that through the tone of his words.

"But you thought an innocent person was in danger," he gently pointed out. "You only went along with Sync's game because you didn't want to see anybody get hurt. I'd call definitely call that a brave thing to do."

Anise couldn't be faulted for the fact that the the person she'd been trying to save wound up using her as much as Sync himself had. If anything, the only people who'd done anything wrong were Sync and Dahlia themselves for treating someone like Anise so despicably.

His heart ached to see her on the verge of tears like that, but he wasn't going to look down on her if she needed to find that sort of release. Instead, he removed his headband, and his bangs fell over his eyes as he discreetly handed the cloth to Anise in case she needed to use it.

"You know," he said, his voice quiet and slow, "Sync tricked me pretty bad once. I spent a long time beating myself up about it afterward, thinking that I should have caught onto it sooner, or that I shouldn't have allowed myself to be used so easily." Claude paused as he idly brushed some of his hair out of his face. "But now I've come to realize that he tries to make people feel ashamed for possessing qualities that make them strong."

Edited 2009-11-11 18:59 (UTC)

This was sounding like what Luke told her before, back at the cathedral. That she didn't do anything wrong, that she was only trying to protect someone... but how come every time she tried to protect someone, something horrible happened?

Anise hesitated before taking the offered cloth from Claude's hand and dabbing away the tears that were beginning to make their way down her cheek.

The girl listened quietly as Claude spoke, stifling each sob that came. She remembered Guy telling her about that incident. His idea about Sync's motives probably wasn't very far from the truth, but she wasn't so sure about it being her strong qualities he used against her. It always felt more like he was picking at her weaknesses.

Claude had a point, though. Anise had trouble leaving helpless-looking people alone. Though she wouldn't call that a strength, it wasn't a terrible trait to have... yet many of her encounters with Sync left her feeling as though it was.

While Anise still couldn't accept that she'd done the right thing yesterday, she felt like some small burden had been lifted, though she couldn't describe exactly what it was. She didn't even try to communicate any of that to Claude, however. The girl stayed silent for some time after he finished talking, and once her tears were under control, she lifted her chin, looking at him through the corners of her eyes.

"...What are you going to do from now on?"

It was a question that had been weighing on Anise's mind for a while. She didn't know what she wanted to do, or what she really could do. Claude had to be in a similarly difficult position. His usual traveling group had been reduced to just him alone in one night. He couldn't keep on doing the same things he usually did - in fact, it was possible he wouldn't want to go back to the basement again, after what happened.

Claude didn't try to pressure Anise to speak. Rather, he chose to remain next to her, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned back a little bit against the couch cushions. Sometimes silence bothered him, especially when he wasn't sure what the other person was thinking, but in this case it only seemed appropriate to let Anise have her space. At the very least, Claude hoped that his words had gotten through to her on some level. He couldn't help but remember the way Guy had gently chastised him that morning in the chapel. Part of him ached to reflect on how long ago all that seemed now, but it also comforted him to know that if Guy were around he likely would have had the same reaction to the guilt they were struggling with now.

When the silence was finally broken by the question, Claude had to admit that he was taken a little by surprise. To be honest, he hadn't been able to think much about what he'd do beyond trying to make Sync pay for his crimes. That was still high on his list, of course, but his talk with Anise had helped him realize that he couldn't allow himself to focus only on that. Even if he wasn't so sure the basement was the key anymore, it was important to keep trying to find a way out of this horrid place.

As far as long-term projects went, though, he wasn't so sure he had the energy to think of anything too specific just yet. But that was all right, because he imagined that wouldn't last forever. After all, it was only a matter of time before he felt compelled to pick himself back up and trudge forward the best he knew how. That was how things had been on Nede, and that wasn't about to change now.

"That's a good question," he answered after a moment, and he briefly gave Anise a ghost of a smile. "Things are pretty rough right now, but that makes it all the more important for us to stick together, right?"

Together?

Anise looked up at the man in surprise. Maybe it shouldn't have been so unexpected that Claude would want to stick with her, but Anise was so used to trying to work through things alone that she'd almost come to expect that it would always be that way.

Besides that, Anise didn't have a lot of people left to rely on, even if she was willing to go to them. Luke was gone, Guy was dead, she hadn't heard from the Colonel in days... Was she the only one left out of their group? The thought caused a cold, lonely feeling to take hold of her, but she tried to push it away.

With Claude looking at her like that, it was a little easier to do so. Anise didn't quite have the energy to smile back, but she gave him a quick nod. "Right!"

Right. It was heartening to see Anise nod in affirmation, at least. The loss of Dias and Guy had left a large hole in Claude's heart, something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to fully recover from. But having Anise around made it a little easier for him to lift his head up and keep going. He hoped he was able to make Anise's burden lighter, if only by a little, in return.

There was one thing on his mind that he knew they'd probably have to address, though. Or, rather, he guessed they could leave the matter unresolved, but the thought of doing that made Claude feel a bit uncomfortable. Mostly, he was concerned about what would would become of the remains of Guy and Dias. Were they being kept in the Institute? Would Landel use them for some sick experiments instead of just letting them rest in peace? To think anyone would even consider doing such a thing made Claude's stomach turn, and yet he knew he wouldn't put something so awful past this place.

"I think...it might be good to try to find out where Guy and Dias are right now, though," he said, traces of hesitation evident in his tone. Claude only hoped that the fact he wanted to see to their bodies was obvious enough for him not to clarify, because he definitely didn't want to have to delve into the specifics of all that out loud.

"Of course, I'd understand if you weren't feeling up to it," Claude quickly added. "That's perfectly okay if you aren't." If that was the case, he figured he'd have to either wait or send someone else (maybe Celes?) to have a look for them. Right now Claude didn't want to leave Anise on her own, especially while Sync was roaming around. His cruelty toward the girl knew no bounds.

Where they were? It took a second to realize what Claude meant by that. Their bodies.

That's right. Not only did the staff at Landel's Institute have a reputation for doing weird experiments to people, but there were the zombies, and a few monsters that looked like they were made using dead bodies... What if something like that happened to their friends? It was bad enough that they died so horribly, but to have their bodies left in the hands of these bastards...

"No... I'll go," Anise answered quietly yet firmly, with a small shake of her head. She owed those two at least that much. They came to save her, and she hadn't been able to do anything but watch as they died because of it. It was partly her fault, and while there probably wasn't anything she could do to make up for it, this was all she could do for them right now.

The thought of seeing Guy's lifeless, mangled body up close was honestly terrifying, but Anise wouldn't let that stop her from doing the only thing she could for him.

"But how are we going to look for them...?" She trailed off for a second as she thought. "Do you think they'd be in the morgue?"

Claude watched Anise carefully for a moment. He didn't want her to feel pressured to go. No doubt searching for the bodies of their dead friends would be a painful task; actually finding a way to dispose of them even more so. But Anise sounded resolved to go, and so Claude decided it was best to just leave it at that.

"All right," he said with a small nod. It was settled then. He just hoped they were successful tonight, because the last thing he wanted to have to face was the possibility that he'd run into Guy and Dias' walking corpses one night in the future.

As for how they were going to go about all of this, Claude wasn't entirely sure. The morgue sounded as good a place to look as any, although there was no guarantee that they'd find them there. Regardless, that was probably going to have to be the first area to check.

"Maybe," Claude answered grimly. "I've never been there before, though. Do you know where it is?"

It felt weird to calmly talk about something so morbid like this. At the same time, though, Anise found it easier to keep herself together, having a new goal to focus on.

"Yeah, I think it's on my map." Anise turned Tokunaga over on its back, and opened the small sack on the doll's back. From it, she removed two folded up pieces of paper, unfolded them, and laid them in her lap to show. "Here it is, on the second floor."

She rested a finger on the room labeled 'morgue,' frowning when she noticed the rooms around it. The autopsy rooms, a laboratory... and not only that, but the same laboratory where she ran into that rotting patchwork monster on her first night.

Anise just hoped it wouldn't already be too late by the time night rolled around.

Claude peered over Anise's shoulder to get a better look at the map, and his eyebrows faintly furrowed. Looked like the morgue was located on the same side of the building as the rooms where those terrible experiments happened. Was it a coincidence, or was this the part of the Institute where a lot of Landel's more unsavory practices take place? He'd never gotten a chance to investigate the second floor much, but now he didn't really have much of a choice.

Not if he didn't want to leave Dias and Guy in the hands of those doctors, at any rate.

Claude did his best to commit the room's location to memory before giving a small nod. "Okay." Since it was also on the same side of the building as the patient blocks, hopefully it wouldn't take too long to get up there. "In that case, maybe we should meet in the hallway next to those stairwells," he suggested. "Then we can head up to the second floor together and go from there."

At Claude's suggestion, Anise shuffled the maps so that the first floor map sat on top. She already knew which hall he was talking about, but it helped to actually look and see where the staircases were. "Okay, let's meet there," she agreed.

With that decided, she folded up the maps and put them back in the tiny sack. Tokunaga was propped back up into a sitting position on her lap. Anise felt around at her side and found the headband Claude had handed to her. There were some wet spots on it from the tears it had been used on, and Anise rubbed the cloth between her fingers, trying to make it dry faster.

She didn't look down as she did, not wanting to do anything to draw more attention to the fact that she had been crying just minutes ago. Instead, she looked around the room, her eyes following the nurses, who seemed to be preparing for the shift change. Once again, she'd fallen silent, though this silence didn't have half the tension her previous ones had. It was probably thanks to Claude, though Anise wasn't about to come out and thank him directly for helping her get through this. That would be way too weird.

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DAY 45: Sun Room (Second Shift)

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