damned_institute | Day 45: Breakfast

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Day 45: Breakfast

Mori woke with a start. He lay on the bed for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and sighed quietly. Another day, another round of shifts and people and-- Wait a minute. Breathing in carefully, Mori's brow knit together as he realized that his ribs were no longer broken. After testing his collarbone, he found that it, too, was healing faster than it should have. Not that he was complaining, but there was something odd about broken bones setting so quickly. Pushing himself up out of bed, the teen shook his head, knowing that he'd have another day or two of the sling and then he'd be free from it.

But more important than that was finding out how Mitsukuni was doing. The last thing he remembered was the bathroom and gathering metal. Since they were together at the end of the night, Mori was certain that Mitsukuni would be fine, but...well, he still liked to confirm such things with his own eyes. With the twins gone and Tamaki still missing, Mori didn't want to take any chances anymore. Especially not with the strange announcements this morning.

As usual, his nurse came to collect him and helped him into his sling. Then he followed her quietly into the cafeteria, taking notice of the unusually empty bulletin board. They really were cracking down on it already. Weird. Even weirder? For once, he was the first into the room. Picking up a tray, he pointed out what he wanted, making sure to take double of the pancakes (asking to keep them away from the sausages for now), double of the strawberry jam and biscuits, and an extra helping of fruit. To top it off? Milk. It'd help his bones mend. Hopefully.

Going to a nearby seat, Mori took a look around the empty room and shivered. Kind of eerie in here without anyone else but the nurses. Someone was certain to come sooner or later though, right? He hoped so at least.

[for Chihaya]

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"Sure you were," Aiden said, but they both knew that neither believed that much. Playing was all Robin seemed to do sometimes. Aiden was used to it, but he still couldn't have cared less for dealing with it.

His attempt at apologizing had sounded like a child's, and one who had been forced to apologize so he could have his recess or something. Aiden hadn't liked the way it had sounded one bit, but at least he'd managed it.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that Robin didn't want to hear it. Aiden's eyes went back across when Robin gave him the order and narrowed. "What?" he tried, but then the other's hands went up to his ears. What the hell? Confused, Aiden reached a hand over to touch at Robin's arm, "What's wrong with you?"

Even if he closed his eyes, even if he covered his ears, it didn't stop. Someone touched his arm and he didn't have to look to know who it was. It wasn't the usual grasping of his wrist, that grip that was like iron, no, this was different. Concern, worry, care for a friend.

He didn't understand why it hurt so much. Because it didn't seem real? Or because it was something he knew he could never really have? He jerked backward, wincing in pain when it pulled at his stitches.

He wanted to run away. Wanted to scream. You're not him! You're not! He wouldn't do this. He could never be defeated. So how was this possible? Kurogane was always beyond question, so how...

Without a firm grip on reality, it would be too easy to slip, too easy to let himself believe. When the one constant was suddenly gone, changed, what was left to keep him grounded?

This time it was his thin fingers that grasped the other man's wrist, caught hold of his arm. His shoulders shook for a moment, as though his own body didn't know if he ought to laugh or cry. "You're going too, aren't you?" he said after a moment, not sure he even recognized his own voice. Why was he the only one who couldn't remember? He let go, hands falling into his lap.

"It's not fair." He couldn't act so nice if he didn't mean it. If he lost everything, it would only hurt more. He wasn't supposed to get attached. He couldn't...

"Don't touch me... don't say those things... just don't... not if you don't mean it."

As quickly as Aiden had reached over, he'd been pulled away from. Again, what the hell?! He'd apologized and now Robin as acting like he'd just been decked! Or was about to be. But Aiden hadn't even touched him before, and just now had been all but a tap.

Aiden's confusion persisted and then got worse when he was suddenly asked about leaving and then all but clung to. "What the hell are you talking about?" he barked, letting some firmness mix into the confusion, "Going where? If you're talking about out of here, I already told you we're leaving together. Geeze, did I rattle your brain that much yesterday?"

As much as Aiden could see that Robin was scared, it wasn't in his nature to attempt to comfort. Just state the facts and get on with it. He wasn't so sure how that would go with the man, but that was about all he could say to the sudden change in the guy. That or actually deck him, but he'd had enough of sedation for a lifetime. Even a quick swat would probably get him in trouble with the nurses.

Aiden pulled his arm back when he could and folded it with the other, glaring confusion, concern, and just a bit of annoyance for how his apology had been taken across the way. "Fine, if you don't want me trying to say sorry again, then I won't," he snorted, then unfolded his arms and set a finger at Robin, "But don't tell me I don't mean things I say. Even as an idiot, you know better than that."

Was it him who was sick? Who couldn't let go? It wasn't Yuuhi, was it... it was Robin. It had to be Robin. But it had seemed so important before to hold on to who he was. It hadn't been for himself, but for the others who felt more and more like a passing dream every day.

Together? What a laugh. They'd all left him behind and this would be no different. He couldn't blame them, but he couldn't accept their kindness either. There was a smile on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. It was the same empty smile he always wore, but now there was no hint it went deeper, no inkling of real emotion.

"Ah, you're right, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I thought I was getting better, but I've got a while to go I guess," he said, voice soft and calm again. It was easier to just close off his heart and pretend he couldn't feel anything.

"It... it's fine. I'm not upset about the other day. Of course, it was rude to say you didn't mean it... I just..." even he could only keep it up for so long before he trailed off, unable to meet the other man's eyes. "It's alright."

"Hey, when you say sorry, you'd better mean it too," Aiden continued his scolding when Robin attempted to backtrack. Calling Aiden on saying things he meant was one thing, but when Robin tried to get away with passing off empty words as meaning something, that was a whole different ballpark. Aiden wouldn't take them, even if saying them had gotten Robin calmer.

He continued glaring over, but gave up after a time when Robin wouldn't meet his eyes. Avoiding things as always. "Che," he snorted, "At least the nurses don't look like they're ready to tackle you. They'd say you're doing better."

Aiden had earned himself the animosity, but that didn't mean he appreciated it. With them so convinced that he was dangerous, Robin would probably get out long before Aiden did, just because they didn't trust him.

After sneering towards the closest nurse, Aiden looked back across the table. "Hey, stop spacing and eat," he demanded, "You keep starving yourself and I'll have a real reason to make you kiss the table."

What hurt the most was that he did mean them. Behind all the lies and deceit, he really was sorry that he couldn't remember any of the things the others could. He was sorry that he'd been careless enough to let it hurt so much too, but that wasn't any of their concern.

"Maybe we'll have to make it a race then, just to see who gets home first," he offered. Even if they did manage to get out at the same time, it didn't mean much since they'd be going separate ways. Robin had his own demons to face. Aaron needed his help.

"Hyuuu," he sighed when Aiden told him again to eat. The food had been appetizing before, but now it sat in the bottom of his stomach like a cold lump of rock.

"I'm not hungry though Aideeeen," he dragged the name out since he'd been told not to make nicknames of it. He adopted his usual catlike smile and flirting posture, even if he didn't feel it. Aiden couldn't know he was acting like anything less than he ought to be. The blond picked up a piece of drippy pancake with his fork and held it out toward Aiden. "But maybe if I got to kiss you instead of the table, I'd change my mind."

Aiden ended up glaring again. "I said we're leaving together. Clear out your ears. This isn't some damn game!"

Or maybe for Robin it was. Aiden didn't have the slightest clue. Whatever, he wasn't playing along. He just wanted out. It was stupid being stuck here where all they did was tell him what he already knew.

"I don't care if you're not hungry; you eat when there's food," he reasoned, not caring for the excuses. So that he wouldn't be hypocritical, Aiden returned to his meal as well. Honestly, breakfast wasn't supposed to be such a difficult time.

He'd been halfway through chewing some more sausage when he thought to tell Robin to stop playing again, but he was soon chocking instead of scolding thanks to the absurd comment. What the hell had the idiot just said?! "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR IDIOTIC MIND?!" he forced out between coughs.

He took a bite of the food, not really tasting it, but smiling just as always back at the other man. On the surface it was like so many of the other times they'd shared insults and teasings. Inwardly, he felt just as lost and confused as ever. This place seemed to enjoy breaking what little sense of self he had left and smashing those bits into even tinier pieces until there was nothing but dust.

"Is that a yes?" he asked innocently as he took another bite. If one wanted to get technical, they were both out of their minds, both there in fact, for that very reason.

"IT'S A HELL NO, YOU FLIPPIN' RETARD!!"

Throwing food was so much was Aiden wanted to do right then, but he knew what violence would earn him, especially after yesterday.

Instead of keeping his thoughts on hurting the man, Aiden focused on being able to breathe. That was all he needed, to choke to death on sausage because of this guy's idiocy!

"Hnnnnnn," the blond cooed his disappointment. He took a few quiet bites of his food though, hoping he'd be able to keep it down. Tasting it once was enough, he didn't need it again on the way up.

"Tell me about home then," he said after a moment. "My memory isn't as clear as yours. Did we eat together like this often?"

Deep down he wished it would spark a memory. But if not, just keep using them, he told himself. Use it to play pretend, to tell the doctors what they want, anything to escape and save Aaron. To make things right again.

Growling, Aiden almost kept silent if only to spite the earlier comment. But then again, he had asked about something a little more relevant and much less irritating. Aiden couldn't bring himself to leave that kind of question unanswered. That didn't mean he would be nice about how he answered though.

"Maybe... in college," he shrugged, "Whenever you actually stopped to eat. But that was more than three years ago. Don't have a clue what your home's like."

Aiden hadn't ever had a desire to see where his strange roommate came from. The moon, he'd thought at one time, but even that would have been too normal for him. Still, any time he would have had the chance to see where Robin came from would have been at least three years back. That had been enough time for Aiden to go from college student to high school gym teacher, so odds were it was enough time for things that would have happened in Robin's life to have changed. Hell, the place he called 'home' could possibly not be there.

Probably better not to tell him that.

It was probably best that Aiden didn't know about his home life, but the thought that they'd stayed together, even for a short while felt... sort of bittersweet. How could he trust Aiden's word though, knowing that he'd been left behind after their schooling? What sort of obligation did he hold now? It didn't make sense.

"Hnnn, so since we stayed together for a while, you thought you'd look out for me here, is that it?" the smile was sweet as ever, but he'd grown tired of the pretense. He couldn't hold together and pretend without cracking eventually. So he lashed out instead.

"I don't need your charity Aiden. I'm not just... your problem or some mess you need to clean up after," he pushed the tray away, no longer even pretending to be interested in the meal.

"Like hell," Aiden snapped, again having to keep some focus to his meal so his anger wouldn't get the better of him, "What idiot would get themselves put here for your sake? You're being selfish."

And since when had Aiden been the charitable type? He may have been a school teacher, but that was only because he'd sucked at business. The way he dealt with Robin was... well, if it was anything, it was out of habit. Unlike those kids from high school, Aiden had had little choice in putting up with Robin. Yeah, he could have avoided the guy here with relatively little effort, but what was the point in that? They'd just end up seeing each other sooner or later. And after how Robin had acted that first time Aiden had shown up...

Growling again, Aiden left his own food alone to give Robin's tray a flick back. "I'm stuck here for my own problems, and so are you. Don't act like your some sort of special just because you've been here longer. It doesn't work that way," he breathed cooly, "I may not have the slightest clue why you've been here so damn long, but don't go taking it out on me or you. Just deal with it. Now shut up and eat your stupid pancakes already!"

Selfish? Maybe. Aiden really wasn't listening at all, was he? Though Yuuhi supposed it hardly mattered. He ignored the tray that was pushed back to him, instead pushing himself up from his seat. It hurt, straining the stitches once again, but he ignored it for now.

"You aren't hearing me. I'm saying it's not your problem. I don't need or want your help. I want you to do whatever you have to do to get better and just forget we ever met," he hated the way the words sounded, how harsh and final they seemed, but that would be for the best. If he was weak now, if he actually said what he felt, it would never stop. He'd keep letting himself fall into the same habits.

"Go together?" he repeated, "don't make me laugh. You don't want that anymore than I do. So stop. Whatever this game is, stop. I don't need you."

"I'd be amazed if you're hearing yourself," Aiden barked.

Whatever had Robin lying this time, Aiden didn't know, but again he couldn't have cared less. The blond always been the worst liar he'd ever known, and three years hadn't changed that one bit. "Either say what you mean, or shut the hell up. I don't have to put up with your bull, and you know it."

Which should say something for the fact that Aiden hadn't gotten up and stormed off himself. Robin was a pain, but that didn't mean Aiden couldn't be a little worried over the idiot.

"I do mean it, you're just not listening," he insisted, taking a step away from the table and hoping he didn't wobble. At least he'd managed to get up on his own. If Aiden wasn't going to leave the table, he'd go instead.

"I don't need you, so leave me alone Aiden."

He turned, leaving tray and companion behind. He didn't look back. If he did, it would be too hard not to keep walking.

"Even if you keep telling yourself that, it won't make it anymore true!"

Usually the one who ended up leaving was him, not Robin, and something about Robin thinking he had some kind of right to do so bothered Aiden to no end. The man stood himself, grabbing the last remaining sausage on his plate and slinging it in the direction of Robin's head.

"I'd bet money that the reason you're so messed up is because you got that idea into your head three years ago!" he called after.

If it wasn't true, he'd make it true, that was all there was to it. He didn't turn at Aiden's taunts or barbs, eyes scanning simply for a new place to sit. It wasn't easy to find one in the now-crowded cafeteria, but he didn't want to talk to anyone right now, least of all Aiden.

The flung sausage bounced off the back of his head with minimal damage. If it made him feel better to throw things, that was fine. It wouldn't be the worst thing people had called him or thrown as he left.

[[to here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/749710.html?thread=61067150#t61067150)]]

He'd been hoping for Robin to dodge, just to show that he was still paying attention to stuff around him. When it just bounced off, Aiden just growled angrily and sat back down in a huff. Dammit. Robin was just as frustrating here as he'd been in College. No, he was worse here. What Aiden just brushed off back then, he was getting angry over now.

Running a hand back through his hair, Aiden tried to calm himself down by chomping on the remaining tater tots on his plate. By the time they were gone, he was still angry, and staying in place with nothing to focus on would just keep him that way. He looked around the cafeteria to find where Robin had run off to, then got up, but headed for the food line. Maybe it would get his head clear again, having more to eat, but all he could think about in line was that damn idiot. He would be sulking now, which meant he wouldn't be eating.

Aiden sighed hard and asked the lunch lady for something he'd never eat instead. Then he turned to head back to a table.

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Day 45: Breakfast

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