damned_institute | Nightshift 44: M51-M60 Hallway

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Nightshift 44: M51-M60 Hallway

Sai changed quickly. Whether he was less emotionally stable that usual or not, he was far better off than he'd been the night before. He would perform the mission required of him tonight. It was nothing that should put anyone's lives at stake, and holing himself up would only decrease his ability to perform his duties later.

The vial of sedative was secured safely in the sweatshirt he used as a makeshift belt. It was important that he got the item to Sakura tonight. They might not get an opportunity to get hold of a replacement if this one was lost.

M90 was in the men's block in the opposite hall. He should make haste so that his teammate wasn't delayed.

[to here]

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Unexpectedly, speaking with Naruto had actually cleared things up rather than muddle them further as the experience typically did. Sasuke was almost calm (or at least had learned how to ignore the clamouring thoughts that were building up in the back of his mind; but that, at least, he had experience in, between half a lifetime and the past few days) while he waited for Jiraiya to arrive. He'd eaten dinner and tasted none of it (but that, too, was something he'd grown accustomed to recently) and waited until his roommate had left before locating Itachi's file.

(He did wonder what was going on with Allen, or if it even was still Allen living on the other side -- the boy had usually at least mumbled a greeting most nights, even if they were usually more occupied with food than conversation, and the pattern of his movements sounded different. But that was a passing concern.)

The knock at the door came sooner than expected, but then again, this wasn't Kakashi. And even Kakashi had broken pattern here.

Sasuke paused to take a slow breath and steady himself. His former teacher was one thing; Jiraiya was a stranger, and whatever Sasuke could feel balling up in his chest and throat (something like a scream, frustration and pain and anger and --) absolutely had to be suppressed. There was no room for emotion here, no room for anything but facts and a decision that Sasuke was going to have to make and live by, in an enclosed space with members of the same village that had betrayed his family and his brother and lied to him.

He wound Itachi's necklace into several small circles and tucked it into his pocket before answering the knock.

"I'm here."

Jiraiya let out a little sigh when Sasuke answered calmly. So it sounded like he was in control of his emotion for now. That was either a good thing or perhaps a bad thing--if Sasuke was controlling his emotions too much, it meant that what he had learned had been too painful.

But the old man wasn't going to find out if he stood outside. He opened the door, slowly, and walked into the room. Even though he doubted that Sasuke would set traps for him, his eyes searched the room anyways--force of habit. A habit that had saved his life more than once.

He shut the door behind him before crosses his arms. "So I heard you wanted to speak to me."

Jiraiya had heard? The phrasing was incongruous with one who'd simply responded to a request left on the bulletin board, and Jiraiya and Sasuke were hardly on terms to say something like that in a joking manner. Doubtless Kakashi had spoken with Jiraiya, then, making good on his offer from this morning.

"You heard from Kakashi," Sasuke said; he trusted -- no, expected enough of Kakashi that he was relatively certain the man's word to keep silent otherwise was held. "How much did he tell you?"

How much groundwork had Kakashi laid -- and to some extent, Sasuke was still trying to fit together words and questions in his mind, still not completely sure how to start asking.

Ah, so the kid figured out what he had meant. Good--that was less explaining he'd have to do. Jiraiya shrugged in response.

"Nothing much," Jiraiya replied truthfully. "Only that it was serious, and that I'd better treat it as such."

Actually, Kakashi had said it was life-changing, but Jiraiya didn't feel the need to go into that much detail.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Jiraiya asked, leaning against the wall.

Good enough. In some ways, Sasuke might have wished that Kakashi had simply told Jiraiya the truth; that way Sasuke wouldn't have to go through it himself, could simply move straight to questioning. But he had asked for it to be kept quiet -- and it wasn't as if he couldn't handle simply telling the truth.

Wasn't as if Jiraiya shouldn't know it. As if any Konoha-nin shouldn't know the lies the village had been telling for so many years.

But at the same time -- despite himself, Sasuke knew the people here too well. Nothing good could come of telling Naruto and Sakura before Sasuke had decided on his next course of action himself; Kakashi might have been capable of stepping back, might have actually acknowledged that the choice to be made was no business of his, but the other two ...

So first of all -- "Is it at all possible for you to give me your word that you won't discuss what we speak of here with the others?" He asked, tone still short and emotionless. The further he could divorce himself from this, right now -- just information gathering from a technical enemy, someone who had no love lost for Sasuke nor vice versa -- the better. "I don't want Naruto, or Sakura, or any of them to know before I can decide whether they should."

Jiraiya could see the gears turning in Sasuke's head. Whatever he had to tell him, it was more than just something simple. He was trying so hard to be emotionless, even moreso than usual. Sasuke wasn't the type to waste energy, and he wasn't the type to over think something. From the impression he was getting, this conversation could make or break everything. The Uchiha could either end up as an ally or an enemy.

No pressure, really. Not that Jiraiya wasn't confident in himself--he was--but he knew that Naruto would be devastated if he messed this up and made Sasuke their enemy. Not to mention the damage it would cause to Sasuke himself. The kid could go either way...

When Sasuke asked for his silence, Jiraiya nodded. "You have my word."

... and that was the end of the preliminaries. Sasuke had no further stipulations to use to stall the truth -- not that he wanted to, but -- there was a long pause after Jiraiya spoke while Sasuke steeled himself to have to speak the words out loud for the first time (and that made them real in a way that hearing them in Kakashi's voice didn't, made Sasuke's failure more stark and huge against the backdrop of silence in this room).

Sasuke stood abruptly, something about the way this space felt smaller and more of a cage when he could feel the delimitation of its size -- and because he didn't need support here, didn't want it and didn't deserve it.

Sasuke's village had killed his clan. Sasuke had killed his brother. Those were the facts, irrevocably.

"Konohagakure ordered the massacre of the Uchiha clan," he said, and his voice was steady without inflection. "Itachi was ordered to play a double agent and ultimately dispose of the entire clan. Konohagakure then labelled him an S-class criminal, a murderer of his own kin, and he had to flee the village and allow everyone to believe the lie."

Another pause, and then in the same flat, factual tone: "Including his brother."

Jiraiya stiffened and stared at Sasuke like a criminal caught in the spotlight. Except he wasn't a criminal, and definitely not one that was part of the conspiracy, judging by the look of complete shock on his face. Not even Orochimaru's disappearance had taken him by so much surprise.

His first reaction was that Sasuke was lying. That Sasuke was trying to make something up to put a rift between Jiraiya and the rest of the village--more than there was already, anyways. It was easier to explain, easier to believe, because what Sasuke was telling him was incomprehensible. They ordered Itachi to murder his entire clan? And he had done it? But then--

"Why?" The question was out of his mouth before he knew he had asked it, and then he shut his mouth, still looking at Sasuke with outright shock.

He slowly thought over what he knew about Itachi. Itachi had been considered a prodigy before the massacre, and was one of the most brilliant shinobi that Konohagakure had seen in a very long time. People had said that he had crossed the line between genius and madness, and that had been the reason... but now, it almost made sense for it to be otherwise.

When he returned to Konoha to kidnap Naruto, not a single person had been killed. He could have easily done so, but he had not. And when Sasuke had followed Itachi in an attempt to kill him, Itachi avoided any sort of lethal blows. If he was truly insane, then why didn't he kill his brother? He could have fought much harder than he did back then, but instead, he had run away after a short battle.

Kakashi had told him about the next time they fought Itachi. Once again, Itachi had killed no one from the village. So then....

It made sense. What Sasuke said made sense. Almost. There were problems. Or, one big problem.

"But... even he wasn't strong enough to do it alone," Jiraiya stated, his shock slowly being replaced a grim expression. "If what you are saying is true... then how did you find out? He would have carried that secret to the grave."

There were too many questions. He knew that he was starting to believe Sasuke, and the questions were painful that he was asking.. but if Sasuke wanted him to answer questions, then he was going to have to give him more information to work with.

Why, the man asked, as if that hadn't been the first question Sasuke had asked himself. The file had given just enough information to explain what had happened, but -- but why it had to have been the way it was, why it had to have ended in the annihilation of an entire clan, why it had to have used Itachi the way it had, those answers weren't available. Not unless Sasuke found someone who had actually been involved.

"The Uchiha were planning a coup," Sasuke explained shortly, hands loose by his sides out of sheer force of will. For the first time in a while he wished for the ease of carrying a blade, the convenience of having something on which to rest his hands, to give them purpose instead of being forced to let them dangle without threat or action. "Konohagakure saw fit to kill every member of the clan, using Itachi, in order to prevent it."

No wonder nobody had ever discouraged Sasuke from forming his life around seeking out Akatsuski and killing Itachi -- it would have sealed the silence about the Uchiha massacre with a finality unattainable otherwise, because Jiraiya was right. Itachi had taken the secret to his grave.

Had hidden the truth from Sasuke, allowed his foolish little brother to believe in the village that had betrayed them instead of the brother who had sacrificed himself to keep him alive.

"The file Landel's kept about his so-called delusions," Sasuke said, the tone of his voice recognising the irony of it. Truth hidden beneath lies; hadn't Itachi said something about how easily flawed a reality could be, depending on the perception of it? But Sasuke had never been smart enough, never --

He forced his thoughts away from the subject and waited for Jiraiya's reaction. What the Sannin did now would decide whether Sasuke would mention Madara, or indeed anything else he had learned -- and whether Sasuke would be able to trust any information he might give.

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Nightshift 44: M51-M60 Hallway

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