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damned_institute2009-09-20 11:43 am
thatdamnedninja.livejournal.com) wrote in damned_institute2009-09-20 11:43 am
Entry tags:
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Day 44: breakfast
Yuffie had died.
No, really. Seriously. She had actually died. Bleeding all over the place, making a horrid, sticky mess and scaring the hell out of Suzaku; she remembered it clearly. Kind of. Sort of. Through the blood loss, the pain, and the visions. Through Aerith's voice whispering in her ear, Cloud's stricken eyes, and her own panic. As bad nights went, it had been Bad, capital B and all the trimmings, and oh, god. She sat, trembling on the edge of her bed, eyes closed and hands pressed hard over her racing heart. The by-play between Landel—Landel!—and Lydia barely even sunk in. There was nothing in the whole world, any world, that could prepare you for something like…
Had it all been some kind of hallucination?
Had she imagined the whole thing?
No… She didn't think so. Nightmarish or not, Yuffie knew reality. But if it had been real, how was she alive now? That kind of pain wasn't something you could just cook up, was it? She thought about it all the way to the cafeteria, drifting behind her nurse without focus or intent. Maybe if she tried to stay clinical, tried to step back… But she'd never been good at that when things got personal. And every time she closed her eyes or blinked, she swore that the scenes played back to her, like an overused commercial on a crappy channel on a crappy TV, in a run-down dump of an inn that smelled like mothballs and yesterday's breakfast.
The scent of blood and damp, rotted wood clogged her nose. Disgusted, Yuffie shoved her bowl of cereal—handed to her by a clucking Plucky—off to the side so that she could melt into her chair, palm heels scrubbing against her eyes. Too much. This was… Too much. She couldn't even paste a plastic smile on her face to make herself feel better. Her usual shield, the white noise of inane babble that could filter out almost any crisis, was in tatters all around her. Five minutes, she gave herself.
Five minutes (not) to think, five minutes to get her act together, because there was no way she could let herself shatter here. No way…
[Closed to Sheena]
No, really. Seriously. She had actually died. Bleeding all over the place, making a horrid, sticky mess and scaring the hell out of Suzaku; she remembered it clearly. Kind of. Sort of. Through the blood loss, the pain, and the visions. Through Aerith's voice whispering in her ear, Cloud's stricken eyes, and her own panic. As bad nights went, it had been Bad, capital B and all the trimmings, and oh, god. She sat, trembling on the edge of her bed, eyes closed and hands pressed hard over her racing heart. The by-play between Landel—Landel!—and Lydia barely even sunk in. There was nothing in the whole world, any world, that could prepare you for something like…
Had it all been some kind of hallucination?
Had she imagined the whole thing?
No… She didn't think so. Nightmarish or not, Yuffie knew reality. But if it had been real, how was she alive now? That kind of pain wasn't something you could just cook up, was it? She thought about it all the way to the cafeteria, drifting behind her nurse without focus or intent. Maybe if she tried to stay clinical, tried to step back… But she'd never been good at that when things got personal. And every time she closed her eyes or blinked, she swore that the scenes played back to her, like an overused commercial on a crappy channel on a crappy TV, in a run-down dump of an inn that smelled like mothballs and yesterday's breakfast.
The scent of blood and damp, rotted wood clogged her nose. Disgusted, Yuffie shoved her bowl of cereal—handed to her by a clucking Plucky—off to the side so that she could melt into her chair, palm heels scrubbing against her eyes. Too much. This was… Too much. She couldn't even paste a plastic smile on her face to make herself feel better. Her usual shield, the white noise of inane babble that could filter out almost any crisis, was in tatters all around her. Five minutes, she gave herself.
Five minutes (not) to think, five minutes to get her act together, because there was no way she could let herself shatter here. No way…
[Closed to Sheena]
no subject
She smiled back at Tsubaki, but when she moved it was only to lean against the stall partition; she wasn't going anywhere until the girl got into the cafeteria found a friend to sit with. She was standing far enough back so she could be maneuvered around, but she still intended to stay with her until pretty much chased off. Friendly company, even if they were both being a little quiet, was better than being alone any day.
no subject
… that there would always be people willing to support others when they fell down was something worth holding on to, wasn’t it?
She thought of Black☆Star and what he would say, what he would do, and a fresh set of tears wanted to wash over her. If he was here as the Black☆Star that I know… But Tsubaki only stepped around the girl to head toward the sinks. “It’s not bad in that way,” she agreed, turning on the water so that she could clean her face up. She tried not to look in the mirror as she did so.
Although it could be equally uncharitable to push away someone who was simply trying to help, Tsubaki still felt like she needed to make that help unnecessary. What had her upset… what had hit her hard in those secret places in her heart… she couldn’t put that into words for a stranger and make them suffer along with her. Her family, especially, was a private pain. So as she splashed water and scrubbed away the evidence of her outburst, Tsubaki turned to address the girl while she dried. “It’s nice of you to stay. My name is Tsubaki.”
no subject
Even from here, they could hear the cafeteria just fine, and not at all to her surprise, someone was yelling loud enough to probably get sedated. That did happen at breakfast a lot. "I think I'm starting to dislike mornings even more now." She wasn't trying to coax Tsubaki into talking, just commiserating with her. "Compared to the intercom, I even miss my alarm clock ringing way too early in the morning. And the rush to get out the door if I hit the snooze alarm too many times; we should start some daytime clubs, or something, just to have something to do besides this place's usual."
no subject
Tsubaki was a little grateful the talk had moved away from what she’d been doing and why; it was easier to get her composure in order when Hokuto seemed happy to chat. As she patted down her face with some paper towels, she listened to the girl’s complaints.
Mornings were high-strung for a lot of reasons. The sudden switch from whatever had been happening at night--nothing good--to the constricted hospital life took its toll on people. Tsubaki couldn’t pretend she was any different; sometimes, especially that day, she just wanted to sit alone to try and deal, but Hokuto was also right, in that some kind of activity would help. Take people’s minds off of things. Let them funnel their emotions into something…
“Normal life seems far away…” It was another agreement, spoken lowly. When Tsubaki faced the girl again, she looked drastically improved, no trace of sorrow left on her. Like a sudden rainstorm now gone. “That’s a good idea, to get people involved,” she told Hokuto. Smiling too hard would be overkill, so let her subdued expression remain.