damned_institute | Day 44: breakfast

Yuffie had died.

No, really. Seriously. She had actually died. Bleeding all over the place, making a horrid, sticky mess and scaring the hell out of Suzaku; she remembered it clearly. Kind of. Sort of. Through the blood loss, the pain, and the visions. Through Aerith's voice whispering in her ear, Cloud's stricken eyes, and her own panic. As bad nights went, it had been Bad, capital B and all the trimmings, and oh, god. She sat, trembling on the edge of her bed, eyes closed and hands pressed hard over her racing heart. The by-play between Landel—Landel!—and Lydia barely even sunk in. There was nothing in the whole world, any world, that could prepare you for something like…

Had it all been some kind of hallucination?

Had she imagined the whole thing?

No… She didn't think so. Nightmarish or not, Yuffie knew reality. But if it had been real, how was she alive now? That kind of pain wasn't something you could just cook up, was it? She thought about it all the way to the cafeteria, drifting behind her nurse without focus or intent. Maybe if she tried to stay clinical, tried to step back… But she'd never been good at that when things got personal. And every time she closed her eyes or blinked, she swore that the scenes played back to her, like an overused commercial on a crappy channel on a crappy TV, in a run-down dump of an inn that smelled like mothballs and yesterday's breakfast.

The scent of blood and damp, rotted wood clogged her nose. Disgusted, Yuffie shoved her bowl of cereal—handed to her by a clucking Plucky—off to the side so that she could melt into her chair, palm heels scrubbing against her eyes. Too much. This was… Too much. She couldn't even paste a plastic smile on her face to make herself feel better. Her usual shield, the white noise of inane babble that could filter out almost any crisis, was in tatters all around her. Five minutes, she gave herself.

Five minutes (not) to think, five minutes to get her act together, because there was no way she could let herself shatter here. No way…

[Closed to Sheena]

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The fact that Setsuna was sedated explained a lot about his current behavior - but that didn't change the fact that Setsuna wasn't acting like himself. What did Setsuna do to get himself sedated? It wouldn't help to ask him now, considering how he was acting - but maybe she could do it later after the sedatives had worn off.

At least he seemed to be registering the advice Allelujah had given him.

Feldt turned her attention back to Lockon after hearing what he had to say, and she agreed. They couldn't leave Setsuna alone when he was acting like this. Someone had to stay with him.

"We should make sure that someone is with him at all times."

Allelujah sighed softly at Lockon's outrage and nodded. "Yes. If you're violent towards the nurses or towards other patients, then they sedate you. It is unpleasant." He just hoped that he could avoid it when he met with Ma- with Soma during the next shift. He should probably tell them, but they didn't need to know yet. If he couldn't sort it out himself, then he would tell them. He felt guilty somehow for having found other people here while he'd been on his own, and guiltier for hiding it, but he liked having people outside of the Meisters and he couldn't help but worry that the others wouldn't see it the same way.

He was relieved when Setsuna agreed to sit down and he followed them obediently to the table, settling down and looking at the others. "It's showers next shift and fourth shift," Allelujah said. "Adults and children are separated so it might be difficult."

And just as quickly as it showed up in the first place, the outrage was gone. Lockon was smiling again, albeit ruefully this time. "Well, now I know not to be violent towards the nurses or other patients!" Not that it mattered--he hadn't had any intention of it in the first place. And if they provoked him in just the right ways, he'd be violent towards them regardless of the threat of sedation.

He glanced thoughtfully at Allelujah for a moment--was there something else he wasn't telling them? Lockon couldn't tell for sure, and he decided to leave well enough alone for now and focus on helping Setsuna. He frowned. "I'm sure he can shower without getting in too much trouble, but someone had better be ready to watch him as soon as he gets out."

Still, even if he had to leave him on his own next shift...Lockon sat down next to Setsuna now as they ate.

Edited 2009-09-23 03:14 (UTC)

Somehow when Setsuna stared at his feet, his surroundings seemed to suddenly spin around him. He squeezed his eyes shut for a while. That was better. His eyes remained closed and he allowed his head to bow down, intending to remain that way for a while.

Until he realized that his nose could almost touch the toast.

He snapped his head back up with such a sudden force that the dizziness worsened for a moment. Settling for leaning his head against his hand, he closed his eyes and ordered himself to stay in that position until he fully recovered.

Feldt decided to sit down by Setsuna as well, taking her food and looking down at it. The french toast sitting on her plate still didn't look all that appetizing, but... Setsuna was alive, and that was what mattered. She looked up at Allelujah when he spoke.

"What shift do the younger patients shower?" Feldt asked, knowing that Allelujah had a better understanding of this place than she did. She wasn't sure how long the sedative that Setsuna was dealing with would last, but if the younger patients had to go during fourth shift... maybe the sedative would wear off a bit by then, and Setsuna would be able to handle himself all right. If it was earlier, however, she wasn't sure what to do.

She turned her head then, watching Setsuna. She was concerned about him, and she was hoping that the sedatives would wear off soon enough. She didn't like seeing Setsuna like this.

"Only during the day though. Being violent at night is helpful," Allelujah replied with a faint flash of a smile that wasn't entirely pleasant. He looked back at Lockon impassively for a moment before turning his attention to Feldt's question. "Fourth shift today," he replied. "It's adults next shift, then lunch, then the younger patients have to shower. I think the drugs should have mostly worn off by then." He frowned, remembering how long they'd lasted for him. "He'll feel groggy for a while though." He hated sedatives with a passion.

"It's difficult to control what you speak about while under their influence and your thoughts will be fuzzy for a while Setsuna." It was probably going to be a better idea to keep him away from people who might want information.

There was something about that smile of Allelujah's--yes, this confirmed it. There were things about Allelujah that Lockon didn't know, he'd always been sure of that. It had been okay, back in their world, but here he was going to have to learn about them. Not now, though. Now they had to do damage control on Setsuna.

"Fourth shift? He'll be fine!" Lockon winked at Setsuna, even though he knew perfectly well Setsuna was quite out of it and couldn't see. The expression was more for the others than for him. "Feldt, take care of him next shift while we're showering."

He glanced back at Allelujah and grinned at that last comment. "Setsuna's not much for controlling what he speaks about anyway, is he? He just says what he needs to, to be his Gundam self."

Feldt nodded - she would do her best to watch Setsuna during the next shift. She was sure that they could find something to do that wouldn't require Setsuna to do a lot of work in his current condition. There were numerous things that they could do, depending on where they were to go for the next shift.

She looked over at Setsuna again, still concerned about him - but... if Allelujah said it would wear off by the time the fourth shift came around, then she would believe him. It seemed that he knew what he was talking about, and she had no reason to not believe what he had to say.

"I will make sure that he will be all right."

Allelujah snorted softly at Lockon's comment, nodding his agreement. That was very true but still. "It would be easy to say too much while under the influence of the drugs is probably more accurate," he explained. "It makes it difficult to stop yourself from speaking, even when there are things that you shouldn't say to anyone." They were an organisation which prided itself on secrecy although he didn't know how much Lockon would want them to keep secret here. It was too late for people like Badou and Homura in any case.

Day 44: breakfast

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