damned_institute | Dayshift 42: Morning

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Dayshift 42: Morning - Magus Park

Senna stepped off the bus to wind blowing through the clothes she was given. A sad face at one of the nurses allowed her a long red scarf as well, and once she had draped it around her neck and let it hang down her back, she had trotted off.

The park she had saw last time seemed a good place to be on the look-out for the chicks from last night. It was close to the buses, and a big enough place that if they remembered that they had a race date, it would suit its purpose. The girl ran to a place in the middle of the field and waited there, shifting her weight from side to side. After a while, this wasn't enough, and Senna traded back and forth between jogging in place and acrobatics--the easy flips and cartwheels keeping her warm.

Her mind had changed in the night before. She had gotten a taste of what leadership entailed, and she wasn't sure she had rose to the occasion or not. She knew she had tried her best, and had been willing to give as much as she had, but it hadn't been enough. She knew this. Hokuto, at least, had gotten hurt, and in the end, they still hadn't explored more than the schoolhouse. They really needed a different approach with that place.

She went back and forth internally, body going through the motions and reflexes of her movements.

[for... Falis, Hokuto, Meche, and Soma?--and down to here]

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It was beyond tempting to snap something else at her and just walk away -- Sasuke could sense the words rising in his throat, the anger bubbling over despite a target that had nothing (or at least relatively little) to do with it. Whatever it took to get this team off his back already, because this soon after Itachi's death, Sasuke couldn't bring himself to deal with them with the necessary amount of distance.

He had sacrificed his bonds for the sake of vengeance, had known that there was no returning from it -- that there was another Uchiha he had to kill was something Sasuke had suspected, that there was no path that allowed him to complete his duty, achieve his goals, and then turn around to walk back to the easy comfort of Konohagakure. Sasuke had known that and he'd made his choice whether or not his former teammates agreed.

The problem was that in Landel's, unlike in their own world, there was no way of escaping their pervasive (and invasive) disagreement. They were perpetually present, endlessly reminding him of what he'd lost to Itachi.

To the man who had died with such ease --

It was a long moment before Sasuke realised that he'd clenched his fists, posture tense, body awaiting an action (whether it was fight or flight). With conscious effort he forced himself to relax and fold his arms as calmly as he could. Sakura didn't know anything, which wasn't something she could be blamed for so much as was inconvenient when it came to trying to explain to her why her notions of restoring their team were impossible.

"You can't go back to the past," he said (and meant I can't go back), voice straining to be as emotionless as possible. "We can only work together if you understand that."

Sasuke needed to get out of here, and for that he needed useful allies, not bonds with people who still wanted something impossible.

Even if he didn't yell, his body language said enough. But in the end, he consented, and that was what mattered. While it might seem like he was trying to cut himself free, the way he phrased it was strange. You can't go back to the past.

Of them all, wasn't it Sasuke who'd had the hardest time letting go of his past? Naruto had overcome all the hate and apathy people had for him in the village, even she had become someone else. She wasn't controlled by her past. But Sasuke... did he realize that even if you cut away the past, there was still the future?

"I understand," she said honestly. If the past was gone, that only left now. And there was no telling what could happen in the now. What bonds could be made, what could be severed. There was no room for revenge though, if one wasn't living in the past. Did Sasuke realize that? It was somewhat... suspicious. Why that sudden change? When he'd been so obsessed with the past before?

"It's just not something I thought I'd hear from you, that's all," she explained.

"I'm not trying to change what's already happened," she'd assured him. She'd suggested moving along to the rest of town, but Sasuke kept poking at old wounds. Did that mean he wanted to talk about it? Or was he just uncertain about how to move forward? For someone who could seem so mature at times, he could be incredibly childish.

Not something she thought she'd hear from him? What had she expected -- that once Itachi was dead, Sasuke could simply forget that he was Uchiha and ignore the fact of his blood? It had been Itachi's fault that Sasuke had to face the fact that he could never return to his past (clan nor team nor village); Itachi's and Uchiha Madara's. She might have lacked all the facts, but there was a reason Sasuke couldn't and hadn't planned to run back to Konohagakure as soon as his brother was dead, not least because the village was duty-bound to execute him.

And he had tried to kill a teammate. Had first betrayed his village and then nearly used Naruto as a path to the Sharingan -- in the end, Sasuke no more deserved to have a return path than Itachi. More than anyone else, it was Sasuke and Itachi who had no choice but to walk towards the future and the inevitability of a clash between them, the eventuality of death.

Except now Itachi, too, was part of Sasuke's past. That sense of direction, shared with Itachi in a way nobody else could possibly understand (in the same way their blood had tied them together in a way Sasuke hadn't understood), was gone.

Another past lost to Itachi. In death the man had taken just as much as he had in life -- and suddenly Sasuke recalled the heat of blood smeared over skin and the way his foot had landed in it last night, unexpected and horrifying. The night had ended before he had been able to fully disentangle the memory from reality and the lingering sense of childish terror nearly sent a shudder down his spine.

He suppressed it with effort (back and shoulders tensing up again, regardless) and at the same time shoved away the thoughts and feelings making this more difficult to handle than it should have been. Why was talking to Sakura of all people bringing all of this to the surface again, when Sasuke should have been done with this and ready to move to his next goal already?

"Nothing can change what has already happened," he said again, almost to himself, and forced himself to switch topics and switch focus. It was dangerous to let himself feel this much around any member of Team 7; it was a weakness that they exploited however unconsciously. "I first intend to trade the coupons I don't need. After that comes searching for anything worthwhile to steal."

There was definitely something bothering Sasuke, it couldn't be just her imagination. There was too much that wasn't adding up. Even if it had been a long while since she'd been around Sasuke so much, she could still tell that something was wrong. What it came down to though, was whether it was better to press him about it, or whether to leave it alone. It was probably a good thing he couldn't see the worry on her face.

She shifted her weight, considering the options. If Sasuke wanted to trade coupons for other goods, it might be a long shot. They'd probably have more luck picking pockets or trying to steal from the local shops. The people here had every reason to suspect them and even if they came up with a convincing story, it was unlikely they'd get much for them.

"The coupons are of minimal value," she told him, trying to be as analytical as she could. "I think our time would be best spent on the second objective, but if you know of a place that will trade with us, that's fine."

[We can bump this up to the new shift if you want? Or once they start moving?]

Sasuke had let too much show. The pause before Sakura responded spoke volumes; Sakura had always been more perceptive than Naruto, and where Sasuke could count on Naruto to simply become irritated and start shouting, it was more difficult to predict how Sakura would react and what she could pick up. Still, Sasuke was beginning to wonder whether Sakura knew about Itachi's death or not -- his assumption had been that the news would have spread as quickly as possible, but perhaps the others from his world had finally learned to mind their own business.

At least to a certain extent. Obviously Sakura was refusing to leave Sasuke alone here, but ... if she knew about Itachi, surely she would have given some sign by now. Had the news of Jiraiya's and Kakashi's deaths been too shocking to permit the flow of other information?

-- whatever the case, Sasuke didn't care. He couldn't afford to care, because the price of caring was far too high for him to be able to navigate alongside the duties he already had.

Carefully, he calmed down by main force of will, relaxed his muscles, and focused on making his voice as steady and emotionless as possible.

"There might be other patients who will trade for some of the coupons. That's their main use," he clarified. At least Sakura was smarter than Naruto and thus more able to handle things more complicated than spur-of-the-moment planning. "As for stealing, there's a hardware store that's particularly useful."

[We can put them into the new shift once they move? And are we still running into Suzaku? 8D;]

Sasuke seemed to have calmed down, but Sakura still held lingering doubts about just what was bothering him. Something he didn't want her to know about? Or something he'd just rather not talk about?

For now, she was somewhat relieved to have a task to focus on. A mission was what her analytical mind was best suited for after all, but she couldn't help but see holes in Sasuke's idea. Trade with the patients? For what? Information? They couldn't have anything more on hand here than the rest of them did. And if they had anything of value, would they really trade it for something as useless as a manicure or a massage?

Not that those didn't sound really, really, tempting. How long had it been since she'd indulged in something girly? Not counting this date-that-definitely-wasn't-a-date-at-all, it was probably back before the Chuunin exams when she'd taken such pride in her long, lustrous hair. With how short she'd cut it after, it'd been a sign not only to herself, but to others, of her resolve and dedication to her own way of ninja.

"We'll head that way then. And if we run into anyone on the way, we'll see about bartering with them," she repeated the plan as much for her own memory as to clarify.

"Do you know the way?" All attempts to even try to lead him in the direction of town had been swatted away, so it was the only way she could think of to ask him if he needed help. Not that he'd ever admit to needing help, of course. Which led her mind to a completely different set of questions. She still needed to look into ways to restore Sasuke's sight. She knew the procedure, but carrying it out here would be problematic. It would probably drain her of chakra, and they might need the blood of one of those glowing creatures on top of that. That was, if Sasuke would even let her try. Bringing up any of that now though, seemed pretty pointless. Sasuke was hardly in the mood to listen.

[ok that's fine! And sure, is there somewhere they want to meet up?]

In order to handle the rest of this day without cracking and revealing too much, Sasuke was going to have to fully divorce himself from feeling anything at all as thoroughly as possible. Even if he'd had a fair amount of practice already, this was -- even he had to admit that this was going to be a test of his ability to do so.

But he had no choice but to succeed. Keeping his voice cool and forcing all but the most immediately practical thoughts out of mind, Sasuke focused on Sakura's presence and the next step. Which was disposing of the useless manicure and massage coupons.

"There's no need to do so directly," he said. Apparently Sakura hadn't quite understood him. "I'll just leave something on the message board in town and deal with it if there are any responses."

As for knowing the way in town -- Sasuke had to fight to keep from tensing slightly, the awareness that even Sakura evidently considered him essentially useless something he had to ignore in order to maintain calm. "I know most of the main street area," he said. "The first time I was here was before I was blinded."

[At a food place? 8D]

Sakura supposed if there was a bulletin, it would be the best way to go about it, but she wasn't sure where it was. Unlike a lot of others, this was her first time in this town.

"Alright," she consented, wondering if she should offer to write the post for him or not. It was hard to tell what would set him off and what wouldn't. She supposed she'd feel even weaker than usual if she'd been blinded. But it wasn't that she felt sorry for him, she was the one that wanted to feel useful.

She started walking toward the town, keeping a slight lead, but watching out for any hazards just in case Sasuke didn't notice them. Not that she wasn't terribly tempted to just grab Sasuke's hand and drag him around, but she had a feeling that wouldn't work so well.

"I'm going to track down some medical books tonight. See if I can understand what they're using here and if I can do much about it. How are... um... your plans going?"

It seemed for a moment as if Sakura would simply walk ahead and allow silence to reign, something Sasuke was highly amenable to -- not least because not having to deal with responding to her in some way made it easier for him to reorganise his thoughts, package any stray emotion in some form that made it possible to shove it out of the way. Sakura was more analytical and on a certain level easier to calmly plan with than Naruto, but there was just something about the girl that made her a threat.

Something at once predictable (she'd offered to leave Konohagakure with Sasuke once, sacrifice her life to help him kill a man she'd never met) and unpredictable (she was again refusing to stay behind here, but she was no longer asking for permission). Sasuke had no reliable pattern to fall back on, and at a time like this when more than anything he needed to be able to retreat into somewhere that allowed him to plan properly --

And speaking of plans, Sakura broke the silence by asking him about his.

Sasuke's plans were -- next to non-existent, here. There had been so many years of fixation on Itachi, working and working to find a way to reach Itachi and actually defeat him, and now he was starting from scratch again. He knew even less about Madara than he had Itachi, and here it was next to impossible to locate such information -- unless ...

"My plans are," and he paused, trying to think of some way to put it that would satisfy the requirement for an answer without giving too much away. "Shifting. How much progress have you made with your goals?"

If Sakura was going to insist on talk, Sasuke could at least attempt to turn the questioning on her.

[[and to the future (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/661753.html?thread=55128569#t55128569)!]]

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Dayshift 42: Morning - Magus Park

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