damned_institute | Day 40: Doctor's Office 3 (Dr. Kisugi) [Fourth Shift]

This morning's session with Miss Waterhouse had been a risky one, but Makiko still felt what she'd gained had outweighed the risks. It did mean, however, that she'd need to be even more cautious for a time, no matter how tempting today's patients might end up being (if they were, which she currently doubted - they were both men, after all). It wouldn't do to bring suspicion on herself when she'd only just started here, and hadn't had the time yet to establish herself.

She retrieved this afternoon's patient files from the drawer where she'd put them earlier and frowned slightly. Two of them. In one session. Most irritating, that she'd have to rush them, but at the same time it would hopefully prevent her from getting bored with one before the other arrived.

The first one should be arriving soon, though. She arranged the pair of files in the center of her desk, almost unconsciously aligning them parallel with the edge, and reached over to turn on the CD player. Whichever one was first, she was ready for him. Soon enough today's sessions would be over, and she could begin to prepare for next week.

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Why did so many people react that way in this place? Everyone seemed absolutely convinced that their delusional realities were completely true and that she was the odd one.

Well, all right. There was some truth in that, given that she was entirely superior to them. But still.

Makiko suppressed the sigh of annoyance she wanted to give at this point and just quirked one brow slightly. "I'm afraid I must disagree with you, Mr. Maeda, even if just from watching your behavior since you entered my office. It only reinforces what your previous doctors have recorded."

Previous doctors. That just made Tokito's expression tighten up even more. Was this part of the charade, like "Mr. Maeda" was? Were these made-up doctors? Or was this woman really in contact with people who knew his past, who knew who he was and what he was? What his hand was? There was no way of knowing without revealing the truth about his hand, and if she didn't already know that was way too risky. So Tokito just hunched in his chair and glared. "I don't like doctors."

"I can see that." Clearly this was destined to be one of her more tedious sessions, given that Makiko practically had to coax any kind of a reaction out of him. It was always so much easier with the people who wanted to just talk about themselves, allowing her to pretend to listen as much as she pretended to care about their trivial issues.

She reached out with one hand to open the man's file, flipping through the pages almost idly until she reached the last page. Her other hand brushed lightly against the pocket of her white coat, where she kept a pair of loaded syringes in case they were needed - she could probably make him react in order to keep herself entertained, but...not now.

"Would you care to tell me why you're not fond of doctors?" she inquired, attention still ostensibly fixed on the pages before her. "I'd like to get to know you, Mr. Maeda, if I'm to help you at all."

"I just don't." Tokito knew his response sounded lame and defensive, but the truth was that he wasn't entirely sure why he reacted this way around doctors. He had a pretty good idea that it had something to do with his lost memories, and with his hand, but that was about all he could say for sure. And, once again, that would take the conversation into dangerous territory for him.

"They've never done anything good for me, so why should I?" That wasn't entirely true, though. But Kou was different, and he'd helped Tokito because Kubo-chan had asked him to, not because he was a doctor. Kou was almost okay if Tokito thought of him as Kubo-chan's friend only.

Makiko glanced up at him again with a slight frown, though it was more thoughtful than annoyed. The way he was acting, the taste of fears and weakness, spoke to her predator's instincts of easy prey just waiting to be pounced upon - it made her ache to rip him open and drink in those fears for real.

It wasn't worth it, she told herself. The young woman that morning had more savor than he was likely to, and the risk too great for now. Not now.

"I'm trying to do something good for you now," she replied, voice calm and face showing none of her thoughts. "Or at least, I would if you're willing to let me."

Something about this woman made Tokito really uncomfortable, but he couldn't put his finger on it at all. He'd have to just chalk it up to her being a) a doctor and b) a staff member in this crazy place. That was probably it. Right? "What, trying to tell me my life is all made-up and I'm someone else? That's just so nice of you."

"Mr. Maeda, I'm afraid that's reality." Makiko almost idly added a note in the file, scribing each character with neat precision, and continued to speak as she worked. "Something happened to you in the past, something that understandably upset you a great deal. And because you couldn't deal with that, you created your own reality."

She paused for a moment, glancing up at him briefly. "Unless you come to accept that fact, though, nothing is ever going to change. You'll go on living in fear in your fantasy. Is that what you really want?"

Tokito stood up, the chair falling over behind him, and clenched his hands into fists. He didn't move any closer to the doctor, though, keeping his sudden anger under control. "I wasn't afraid! I was with Kubo-chan and I was--" Well, what was he, exactly? Happy? Most of the time, yes. Despite everything, despite the difficult search for his past and the pain and the uncertainty and everything that was wrong with his life, Tokito had been happy with Kubo-chan. "I wasn't miserable until you people took me away from him."

Outwardly, Makiko barely reacted to his outburst; she only gave a slight sigh as she flicked a glance down toward the fallen chair. At least he wasn't making a mess, and a chair was easily righted again. "Mr. Maeda, please sit down," she ordered, returning her attention to the file once more and adding another note.

"As for your assertion that your life was somehow better with "Kubo-chan," which by the way isn't his name, I would have to disagree." She frowned slightly at the page before her and tapped the pen a couple of times before continuing to write. "Just look at the way you're acting. You've obviously never allowed yourself to recover from what happened in the past."

Tokito had been planning on sitting back down, but now that the doctor had ordered him to do so he found he didn't want to anymore. Stubbornly, and a little defensively, he crossed his arms over his chest and stayed standing where he was.

Of course they'd give Kubo-chan a fake name, too. Figured. It also helped Tokito decide for sure that 'Maeda Nao' had anything to do with his real life or name; Kubota Makoto was Kubo-chan's real name, there was no mystery there, no hidden past or amnesia to deal with, so if they said his name wasn't his name, they were probably just making shit up about Tokito, too. "What do you even care, we were fine and it's not like I'm a kid."

If he wanted to stand, he wanted to stand, and it wasn't as though Makiko cared all that much about his comfort. So long as he wasn't making a larger mess of her office, she was completely fine with it. She merely continued to write, as though he had actually obeyed and sat down.

"Clearly you weren't fine, if you ended up here," she observed, pausing long enough to point downward to indicate the hospital before she returned pen to paper again. "When you're a danger to yourself - and others - there comes a point when intervention is required." Still in the same tone of voice, even and calm as though they were merely discussing the weather, she added, "How has the pain in your hand been, these last few days?"

Tokito tucked his right hand under his other arm, not exactly hiding it but certainly protecting it from further scrutiny. Too late, obviously, but it was instinctive more than conscious. "Fine."

That the doctor knew his hand hurt sometimes didn't mean anything. He'd had an attack a little while back, the staff had seen that. He hadn't taken his glove off, though, or let anyone see his hand. Maybe they had another "real" explanation for his hand, to go along with the "real" life they claimed he had.

Day 40: Doctor's Office 3 (Dr. Kisugi) [Fourth Shift]

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