damned_institute | Day 40: Recreational Field

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Day 40: Recreational Field

Kio's breakfast ended on a much happier note than it had started. However, for once the announcement truly surprised him. He blinked as his nurse came to pick him up. Recreational Field? But.. but if they had a greenhouse, he wanted to go there. The prospect of gardening was a truly liberating one, an island of joy in this hellhole. He thought about going to the Sun Room and lying down, but it occurred to him that he hadn't had proper fresh air since being here. With a cheery goodbye wave to Honey, he followed his torturer outside.

It was much better than he had expected. The sun wasn't too hot (what time of the year were they in, anyway?), so he walked slowly along the walls, fascinated by the size of the field. He wondered if Sou-chan was alright. He hadn't even checked the board. Well, if Soubi wanted to apologize, Kio would be willing to listen. The place was so crisp and clean. He had to think if anyone had ever gone over the walls. What was out there? Freedom? Or a different sort of monster?

Leaning against one of the walls, Kio took as much advantage of the sun as he could. He desperately wanted a lollipop. One was quietly nestled in his pocket, but he would need to wait until the nurses were busy with other patients before he tried anything. Soubi had gone to some trouble to get them, the least he could do was make sure they didn't get confiscated. So with bated breath, Kio waited for a shift in the mood. He was, for once, content. Not happy, but not going crazy either.

[Sou-chan! Team Loveless deploy!]

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It said something about how absorbed in his thoughts he was that he didn't even notice Homura's approach until the man was crouched in front of him and speaking. He gave him a startled look once he realised and smiled awkwardly. "It's fine," he said. "I'd appreciate the company." Because Homura was one of the only people who knew and understood his past. It was a nice thing to know, he had to admit.

He pushed his hair out of his face, hooking it behind his ear to expose both eyes, as he found himself doing with Homura. It seemed wrong to hide that from the other man. "There's a woman here from my world," he said quietly. He shook his head and then met Homura's eyes, smiling awkwardly. "Ah, but how have you been, Homura?" He shouldn't drop his problems on someone else. He'd done enough of that in his drugged state yesterday, apparently.

Apparently he surprised Allelujah, and Homura let out a light chuckle when he was met with a shocked stare. Settling into a more comfortable position once the other man gave his consent, he watched Allelujah carefully for a moment, trying to determine just what he was thinking.

But the words revealed it all, along with the smile. Homura recognized the expression, and he laughed a bit. "A woman you care for deeply, correct?" But Homura also knew that there was bitterness to temper the sweet; the man wouldn't have been alone otherwise. "I've been as well as one can be, in this place. Right now, though, I'm wondering if you'd like to talk. Seeing someone you love here can be...shocking."

Homura could only hope that this woman had come in as a patient, or perhaps as a visitor. If Allelujah had seen the person he loved in the way the institute had shown him Rinrei--even if it was only her face--then Homura would be more than willing to help the man take out his revenge.

Allelujah nodded seriously in response. "In the place where I grew up, the place where they made Super Soldiers, I met a girl called Marie. She... I don't know what was wrong with her, but she was comatose. Couldn't see or hear or move. Not physically. But because of what they'd done to us, to our heads, we could speak to each other's minds." It probably sounded far-fetched and ridiculous to Homura, but once he'd started, he couldn't stop otherwise he'd never begin again.

"She gave me my name, Allelujah, because I couldn't remember my original one. She said it meant to be grateful to god for being alive because it meant that we'd been able to meet." It sounded ridiculous out loud, especially considering who he was talking to and the loathing that Homura felt for the gods of his world. But it was his most precious thing. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I escaped the facility because otherwise they would have disposed of me for not being useful anymore, but I couldn't take her with me. And now she's here, but she doesn't remember me and she... she hates me because I'm fighting for the other side. She's a pilot for one of the Earth governments. We're enemies." And they'd already fought more times than he cared to count.

To his credit, Homura listened silently to Allelujah's story, holding back any comments he might have had about being grateful to a god. His bitterness wasn't what mattered, and it would be childish to taint the other's pleasant memories by even mentioning it. Instead, he let the other man say what he would, then considered the story.

For the woman not to remember Allelujah at all, her mind had likely been tampered with. It was a topic Homura had taken personal interest in since Rinrei had been to see him that day. How much time had passed since her visit? Homura could hardly tell, aside from saying that it felt like far too long.

"Do you think she was brainwashed somehow?" Though that didn't offer an immediate solution to Allelujah's problems, it was possible. And Homura wanted to see his friend have a chance for the happiness that had been denied him. He knew all too well what it felt like, that loss, being unable to do anything but watch as the woman he loved was taken away. "I have someone I feel the same way towards, but she's here. They have more prisoners than just the patients. Some have been manipulated into believing the fake lives the nurses try to force on us. She's one of them."

But maybe in the process of saving Rinrei, they could discover a way to save Marie as well.

Then Homura addressed the present concern. He knew well how deeply such hatred could run, and not just his own. He'd seen it, particularly in Okita. "Will she try to attack you while she sees you? Or do you think she can be reasoned with to focus on escaping this place first?"

He was glad that Homura didn't immediately answer him. He needed the moment of silence to gather his thoughts and his composure. The drugs had numbed the feelings which came with the explanation yesterday, but now they were clear and fresh.

"I think she was," he agreed in response to the god. "When I spoke to her, there wasn't any trace that I could see of Marie, just the soldier that she is now. A woman called Soma." He frowned when he mentioned there being more prisoners. "The visitors? I heard about them, but I wasn't certain if they were actors or some kind of trick. But if they're real..." He grimaced at the thought. "I'm sorry that you have someone here too." This place was just as torturous as the laboratory that he'd grown up in, just in a different way.

"She attacked me on sight during lunch yesterday," he explained. "And I understand why the soldier she is would hate me. I've done terrible things in the course of this war. But she's intelligent and I think she might see reason." He hoped so, because he doubted he could stay out of her way forever.

Homura grinned when Allelujah offered his sympathies, and shook his head. "Don't be sorry. It's unfortunate that she's here, and that she's had to suffer, yes. But at the same time, her presence has created certain opportunities." Would Allelujah understand his intentions? Perhaps so, or at the very least, he might respect Homura enough to stay out of the conflict that would arise from them. "I'd like to tell you something in confidence, my friend."

Homura had never allowed himself to doubt that the visitors were real. That thing he'd destroyed in the hallway, certainly, but not the woman who had come to see him that day.

The demi-god knew all too well what horrors came along with fighting a war, and he nodded in understanding. After all, he had no guarantees that Rinrei would accept what he had become once her memories were restored. "That is why I was asking. I don't know what you know of Earth's history, or if it's even part of the history of your world, but there was a great conflict sometime during the past." He wouldn't go into too many details for the sake of keeping Okita's secrets, but he could divulge enough. "At least two men from that war have been brought here as well, and like your Marie, one attacked the other on sight. But with the proper incentive, I was able to convince him to call a temporary truce." Of course, bribery had worked better than logic, but who was Homura to complain when it got him the services of Okita and Himura?

Opportunities? That was a curious thing to say. But then, if it had been Marie, a Marie who remembered him but as a different person and was brought to visit him, he knew what he would do. "You want to make her remember the truth," he said quietly. "I would too," he added with some determination. "And then I'd destroy this place and every last person involved." Just like he'd done to the Super Soldier facility.

He looked up and met Homura's eyes, a more serious expression on his face now that he had something more to focus on. He listened carefully to what Homura said, interested in what the man was saying. "And they hold to that?" he asked, eyes a little wide. That was impressive to say the least, but he felt the first stirrings of hope. "I don't expect her to accept me as a friend or even so much as an allie. I just don't wan to have to fight her when it can be avoided."

"That's not quite the case." Though Allelujah hadn't given a promise to remain silent on the matter, Homura decided to proceed anyway. The parallels of their pasts gave him a greater trust of the man than most, and the answer he had come up with would have been Homura's plan under different circumstances. "To save Rinrei, I need to do more than just free her mind. You see, in my world, she's been dead for over five-hundred years. There's no way of knowing if she can exist independently of this place's methods, and so merely bringing the prison to the ground isn't something I can allow to happen."

Here, he couldn't just remake the world as he tried to do in his own. Homura couldn't just give himself over to his anger this time, or a desire for revenge. The strikes all had to be carefully aimed, which ultimately made destroying Landel's Institute all the more difficult.

In its own way, having people agree to a truce was simpler, and Homura chuckled at Allelujah's surprise. "It does help that one of them is from years after the war took place, and has taken a vow to no longer kill." Something that Homura still saw as pointless, but that was his perspective. "The other person was drawn from the height of the conflict, and he does very much wish to kill his rival. But in exchange for a sword, he's agreed to hold back for now. So long as he isn't provoked." The terms of the truce between Himura and Okita needed to be clear, just so Allelujah could understand what he was suggesting.

"In essence, it's the same thing you're looking for. Though I can't promise it will work, I'm willing to do what I can to help you. It doesn't do us any good to let outside conflicts take priority over our current situation."

Homura had a way of making five-hundred years sound like a perfectly normal period of time to be talking about. It was still bizarre how easily Allelujah had come to accept the differences between worlds, that people could be gods, or could live for such impossible spans of time. He thought over Homura's apparentl objective for a few moments, giving it proper consideration before nodding. "What would be the point of helping them just to lost them again?" he agreed. "Something good should be done with what this place can manage." If they could make people like Homura's love come back, then it seemed like a reasonable thing to do.

"I can see how th time difference and a vow not to kill would be helpful," Allelujah replied with a smile. It wasn't a requirement, hopefully, because he doubted that he or Soma would be willing to abide by that. "If you could assist, I would be grateful," he replied honestly. "I can't avoid her forever, and if I'm attacked, I can lose control. But I wouldn't provoke her." It would be better that it never came to a fight between himself and Soma and Hallelujah.

What for Allelujah was bizarre stood as perfectly normal in Homura's scope. In terms of eternity, five-hundred years really was nothing to talk about. The only thing an immortal being could hope for was something to break up that amount of time, and make it something more than just a never-ending fit of boredom and futility. That was one of the few benefits to this prison, and Homura was happy to hear that Allelujah apparently accepted another. "I'm glad you think that way. Many people here believe the dead should remain dead, which is why I've kept this goal relatively quiet. Obviously I see things differently."

And he would fight to have it happen. He already knew it would mean betraying those he had a loose alliance with now, but to save Rinrei, he was willing to do just that.

"I will what I can. I'd rather you not spend your time in a battle that has no meaning due to the circumstances." Nor the woman, if her talents could be put to better use. "But I'm curious. What do you mean by 'lose control'?"

"If they were dead from a natural cause, then I think there would be cause to object. But the people who died prematurely, who never got their full chance at living, why should they be denied that if there is a way to give them that chance?" Perhaps it was a naive way of thinking about things, but he truly couldn't see any reason why they shouldn't try to keep them alive. Besides, there were people here who were supposedly dead too. He doubted that any of them begrudged the chance to live a little longer.

And how to explain Hallelujah without Homura thinking that he truly belonged here. It was one thing to admit it in a drugged stupor, but explaining it was more difficult. "I... sometimes when I fight, when I can't cope with someone, among other times, there's another me, Hallelujah. He can take over and he's um... brutal." And that was being kind.

Talking about me again? his other half said, sounding a little amused. You're normally so quiet.

You like the attention. You like causing a scene.

Now that was an interesting qualification. "So if a man died of some disease in his twenties, you'd deny him the opportunity to revive himself?" There was no malice in Homura's voice; only a hint of mild amusement. "But since I avoided my own natural death by being killed in battle before old age could claim me, do I meet your qualification for renewed life?". Obviously their viewpoints differed, but that mattered little. Homura's resolve wasn't going to falter due to something so minor.

There seemed to be some discomfort on Alleljuh's part as he explained his other self, but Homura had a better idea of the concept than the man realized. "Something similar happens with many in my world, typically of the demon race. But there are also gods who wear limiters." He glanced at the cuffs on his wrists, poor substitutes for what he once wore. "I had much heavier shackles along with a length of chain to restrain my strength. It isn't quite the same as an alternate personality, however."

Oh, he hadn't thought of it that way. Allelujah frowned at the thought, pondering that for a minute before shaking his head. "I don't know," he admitted after a few momewnts. "I shouldn't have answered so quickly I suppose. It's too big a question to not think about it properly." Especially when the very idea was something so outside his experience. Bringing someone back to life... it was a terrifying and intoxicating thought. "But I wouldn't oppose you trying to do it," he added after a moment.

Homura seemed less shocked than Allelujah was expecting, considering he couldn't really remember Badou or Fai's reactions. Maybe he hadn't told them really? "I suppose it wouldn't sound so shocking in that case. Where I'm from though, it's a personality disorder. Most doctors would probably want to give me drugs to 'fix' me. I know the one I saw yesterday was shocked that I wouldn't want to get rid of Hallelujah."

Homura grinned as Allelujah realized his mistake. "Most people have certain objections to it, some that are understandable. But I refuse to let others dictate how I will live my life, and I will fight in order to hold to that." It was a simple philosophy, but by far the most effective one that Homura had found during his time alive. "You'll learn, if you haven't already, that what is holy and what is evil is decided by those with power, my friend. That is how this conflict will be decided as well."

"But I'm glad to hear you wouldn't oppose me." Very glad. Homura had little desire to turn his sword on Allelujah.

"Most fear what they don't understand, or what they know would overwhelm them. That is why the gods truly despise heretical beings." To hear that they wanted to erase the source of some of Allelujah's strength wasn't at all surprising. That was what this place prided itself on during the day; curing them of the memories that made the patients who they were. "I wore shackles because I was a forbidden existence, or so they wished me to believe. That I had committed some crime by merely being born. In truth, it was so I wouldn't learn of my own power. They wanted me to remain weak so my spirit would be more easily crushed, and my life ended. Your situation is very likely the same."

Allelujah smiled back hesitantly and nodded. "You have to choose your own path. If I'd allowed other people to decide my fate than I would have died ten years ago when they decided I was a failed experiment." And instead he'd found companions, friends even, or comrades at least, who had allowed him to fight to ensure no more like him were created. And even if she didn't remember, he'd been able to see Marie again. He nodded seriously, knowing Homura's words to be the truth. Celestial Being had been reviled by the governments, but used by them when it was convenient. The people in power always decided what was good or evil when it was convenient for them.

To have someone accept what he was, the two sides of him, that was a new experience. He looked over at the cuffs that Homura wore and it was easy to imagine them as shackles to contain power. "No-one can commit a crime just by being born," Allelujah said, frowning at that. "If it's a crime, then it rests on the heads of the people who came before. A child shouldn't pay for the crimes of the parents." He smiled bitterly. "Even if I'm a hypocrite for saying that." He'd heard them scream when he'd killed them, so many of his siblings who had been killed because he'd been hurt by the scientists.

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Day 40: Recreational Field

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