damned_institute | Nightshift 39: M91-M100 Hallway

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Nightshift 39: M91-M100 Hallway

"Of all the accursed...why did they have to place his quarters at such a distance from mine!"

Starscream continued to look over his map angrily; shining his artificial light upon the paper clipped into the cover of his notebook, he once again traced the two possible routes needed to get to Lockdown's room. "One is far longer...but potentially safer," he groaned, sliding his finger down the halls, across the large entry way, and back up to his destination. "The other...it takes me to the "soccer/recreational field". That's where that 'meta-bitch' 'Richard' mentioned was, the one who could made extreme cold. On the other hand, it IS shorter..." Closing the book with a sigh, he weighed his options carefully.

Laziness won out.

"As long as I am careful...I might avoid confrontation tonight," he reasoned. Clutching his book, a few pens, and the flashlight tightly, he made his way down to the M-C Block hallway.

[To ]here]

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Curious nature and bad luck were something Miku had inherited in spades, if the lack of family were any indication.

"They never tried to eat me before." Stab her, set her on fire, decapitate her, draw and quarter her and strangle her, yes. Eat her? Not so much. "Though, when I was touched, sometimes it felt like they were draining away my strength." And, as evidenced by her many bandages, something much worse happened. She didn't say it, but Miku wondered just how different things between her world and his actually were. "And sometimes I saw things about them."

"I didn't so much mean physically eat..." Though of course Subaru's thoughts did stray into that realm a bit more than usual, lately, since he'd come so close to being very literally eaten just a few nights ago. "But the more strength you have to drain, the more strength the spirit will gain, right? That's why I said only some types are drawn by power, though--others are simply angry and lashing out at whoever they can."

Subaru hmmed thoughtfully, when Miku mentioned that she was able to perceive things about the spirits when she came into contact with them. "That's unusual, to be able to connect with them that way. It sounds like you have a bit of shamanic power. I speak to spirits, myself, and often they're willing to respond and to tell me about themselves, but that it happens instinctively for you is impressive. If probably unwelcome at times."

"Ah," Miku nodded, and tucked her fist under her chin thoughtfully. "I suppose that it is an eating of a sort." It didn't explain why they would leave her alone when she passed out, though, Miku wasn't going to argue with incidents in the past. She was lucky to have made it out of there at all, after everything.

"Only sometimes, though. I see things a lot easier if it's through an object, and with less risk. Usually, when someone like that touches me, I just want to bat it away as quick as possible." Which had various degrees of success, now that she thought about it. "Sumeragi-san? I'm glad that you're easy to talk to about... this kind of thing."

Subaru's expression softened and he wished he could really do something for Hinasaki-san, like he could have back home. "It's a difficult thing to deal with, in a modern society wherein most people don't even believe in the supernatural." Children could be especially cruel, and Subaru hoped that Miku had at least come into her powers somewhat later than he had, and been given a chance at a reasonably normal childhood.

"That's true, I've been... well, I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you. I've been seeing them since I was small, and at first, I couldn't really see them, exactly, just a fuzzy outline. When I was older, I could see things more clearly." And then for a short time, there hadn't been anything at all.

"My mother, my brother... all the way up the line on my mother's side could do the things I can." If there was anything like hereditary unluck, then her maternal line probably was cursed with it forever. Especially if she could protect Sousuke from things he couldn't hit, like the ghosts that kept cropping up.

Subaru personally felt that Hinasaki-san's ancestors, in that case, were a bit remiss for not getting some training that they could pass on to their children, but he could also understand the fear of revealing themselves so it was a sticky situation all around. No sense lecturing about what people who weren't here might possibly have done, especially since he didn't even know the full circumstances. "My family has been doing this for thirteen generations. Or, well, not exactly generations. The title of head of the family passed from my grandmother to me, not to my mother, and it's been like that a few times in the past. But even then, it was hard for me as a child--I couldn't always understand why people treated me the way they did, when I talked about the things I saw."

"They would say, 'You're imagining things' or 'There's nothing there', too, wouldn't they?" Miku knew how that was. The first time, her mother had told her to be quiet and not talk of it ever again. Afterwards, Mafuyu had kept it to himself.

Unlucky, how unlucky.

Subaru decided it was better not to tell Hinasaki-san about some of the worse experiences he'd had as a child--he knew the truth of the matter now, but Mitsuki-san declaring that she hated him because he was abnormal... that early broken heart had haunted him for a long time. "Mm. Sometimes they'd even call me a liar." And worse. A freak. Scary. Abnormal. It was tough growing up different from everyone else.

"Or worse," Miku completed the thought for him. She would never admit how often she thought that vanishing from school would fix her problems. But that was silly, and even now, she'd learned to live with her ability thought it scared her and worried Sousuke when she went off following something he couldn't see.

"Sumeragi-san, do you ever see the ghosts here in the Institute? Not the ones that anyone and everyone can see, but..." How did she explain this? No one else saw the little helping spirits that sometimes watched from the walls or led her to and from certain places "The ones that help, sometimes."

Subaru winced and shook his head, looking down at his hands. "No. It's like I'm blind, here." He touched the side of his face that was still swathed in bandages and smiled bitterly. "It may sound strange, but losing this eye was actually less disorienting than waking up here and realising I could no longer see the spirits I'd interacted with all my life."

"I can understand that," Miku replied. There was a time where everything had been silent, for two whole, peaceful years. She was sure that she had Mafuyu and Kirie to thank for that, though she had started seeing things again. "Maybe this will help you, too, Sumeragi-san."

It would be better if they snapped themselves out of the painful reverie of their pasts and looked to the present.

Subaru had a sinking feeling that this exercise would only make him feel more useless and helpless, especially if he wasn't able to help Hinasaki-san at all. He couldn't even see what she would be doing, or detach his mind from his body to try to help her more directly. But, well. She was right that they at least needed to try. "Have you had any experience with meditation?"

Miku shook her head, "Not really, no. I mean, unless you count going to the shrines once in a while..." Did prayer count? Now Miku was curious. She shifted in her seat, mindful of her still-healing torso.

Then again, she didn't stay very long at shrines - there were too many things around before the loss of her abilities, that she'd never gotten into the habit of going regularly.

"Any use of magical or spiritual power is inherently dangerous. It can rebound and harm you if you allow yourself to be distracted at a critical moment. Being able to sense what you're doing and being able to keep control of what you're doing even under stress are both very important, and a calm mind is an important step in acheiving that." Subaru smiled gently again, not wanting to discourage Hinasaki-san completely. "Which is not to say that you can't get upset or frightened or react to the things around you. But there needs to be a small part of you that remains focused on what you're doing, always."

Miku nodded, "Ah, I see." Meditation would be something she'd have to practice more often. Maybe, if her mother had been able to still her mind, she wouldn't have done that terrible thing.

She certainly wasn't discouraged. "So, what is the best way? Or is it different for some people?"

"There's many different traditions, but in practical terms they all exist to give shape and focus to power. I can only truly teach my own tradition, but of course Onmyoudo takes years of study to learn. I think the best I can offer you under the circumstances here is to teach you how to sense and better control the flow of your own power. You already know how to channel it through your own tools of choice, to a certain extent, what I hope to do is give you a better understanding of what it is you're doing." Subaru would have loved to really teach the Onmyoudo tradition, of course, but it simply wasn't possible--there was a focus on ritual and on very detailed knowledge that he just didn't have the tools or time to teach in this place.

"Mm," Miku wondered if what she had been doing could be called 'channeling'. She doubted it, a little. Without the camera, here in the institute, it was so much more instinctual, like it used to be. Miku shuddered at the thought. She pulled her feet under her and winced as pain danced up and down her legs. Perhaps there was a reason that the nurses had made her sit in a damned wheelchair. It hadn't hurt so much when she'd walked here, but...

"Then, do I just have to find my center?" she asked. "The white room in my mind, so to speak?"

Much as he wished it was otherwise, Subaru simply couldn't teach Miku the use of spells, here; there just wasn't the time for the proper grounding in the theory, and without that... well, he couldn't in good conscience set anyone loose with spells they could use but not fully understand. So this was really all he could do.

"To find your power, yes. Controlling its flow takes more discipline and practice." Subaru crossed his legs, preparing to enter a light trance state, himself--maybe his senses would be slightly less dull, even in this place, if he was not quite fully in his body. "What your power will 'look' or feel like to you, I can't tell you. Everyone's mind tends to find a different metaphor, something that makes the most sense to the individual. It could be a pool, a rope, a web or a ball, it could be something else entirely, but you'll know it when you find it."

Miku stiffened slightly and nodded, though she hoped it wasn't a rope. Ropes seemed awfully unlucky, now that she'd thought about it, "I see..." She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. It hurt, but the last thing she wanted was to get stiffer from sitting. "I'm ready, then."

It would be whatever her own subconscious was most comfortable with, so if a rope bothered her it wasn't likely to be that. Subaru settled himself a little more comfortably, keeping his bad side from taking too much weight as he leaned against the headboard. He nodded once more to Miku, then closed his eyes and started speaking softly, "It can be difficult to find that quiet place within your mind, but the distractions here should be minimal. Eventually you should be able to do it with your eyes open and in the middle of a battle, but for this first try you should close your eyes."

"Mm," Miku nodded and slid her eyes closed. She supposed she'd have to learn to walk before she learned to run, after all. To have something to hold on to, Miku pulled the Washu camera from her bag and put her hands around it. It was hard to think of nothing; she had so much to worry about now. Was Sousuke's mission with the Arts and Crafts club successful? Was Ritsuka okay? She was even worried about Aidou, despite his being a righteous jerk earlier today. Miku could forgive him that - this place made everyone's better judgment and patient thin.

Stop that. Stop thinking. Miku chastised herself as she tried to think of an object that would calm her. Her camera, or her antiques? The doll she bought before coming here came to mind first, as though to keep from reminding the photographer that the camera in her hands was hardly useful for the worst things in the Institute. It was a sweet little thing, with short, dark hair and a pretty red smile. The little name carved into the bottom had been hers, to boot. As though it had been made for some other her many years before - Miku of the Past. She relaxed further, as she remembered the soft gold flowers painted on her kimono and the tiny dark eyes of glass that stared forward forever. A warm feeling extended from her heart to her sore and aching limbs as she fell further and further towards the quiet spot in her mind.

Subaru opened his eye again after a moment, having needed only a heartbeat's time to find his own power source. Even as he looked at the room around him he could see his mind's visualisation of his power as well, a vast and still lake. It was still there.

Sighing quietly so as not to disturb Hinasaki-san, Subaru tested the edges of the wall keeping him from actually using that power, and of course found it firm even when he was trying his utmost. Still, it was reassuring somehow that though Landel could keep him from touching the majority of his power, he could not destroy it--the eyes of his mind were covered with a blindfold, not plucked out. In practice he was just as blind, but there was hope for recovery if he could only escape this place.

The doll eventually gave way to the large cherry tree in the Hinasaki traditional home. The large, sheltering branches that would protect her on a summer's day, the high place she would climb when feeling lonely, it was a safety net for her. The hot-in-cold feeling seemed brighter there when she thought about it, and after a few moments she murmured, "I see our cherry tree."

Subaru flinched, but hoped that Hinasaki-san's eyes were still closed and that she wouldn't notice. Of all the things it could possibly be, why a cherry tree? Never mind. It didn't mean anything. Cherry trees were an important symbol to many Japanese people, not just the Sakurazukamori. Subaru took another calming breath.

"Try to draw some of its strength into you, like the roots draw water from the earth. Slowly and carefully. Too much water will harm a living thing as surely as too little."

"R-Right..." Miku said softly and attempted to draw the warm feeling into her. It was frustrating, as though it were trying to ignore her and not help at all. Miku pulled herself back for a moment and tried again, and again. Finally, she felt a shift and tug inside, as though someone had turned on a tap in her brain, and then the warmth slowly started to flow down through.

It seemed to have been such a short time, but Miku was sure it had taken a while. She laughed a little, felt her control waver, and straightened up again. "It's a nice feeling..." she said after a long silence.

Nightshift 39: M91-M100 Hallway

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