damned_institute | Day 37: Men's Showers

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Day 37: Men's Showers

I wouldn't really call this a locker room. More like a bathroom with lockers. The place was uncomfortably crowded, with almost every adult male patient being hustled into the showers at once, but Phoenix wasn't as annoyed by the claustrophobic, milling throng of bodies as he might have otherwise been. Every extra person was one more person who might end up standing between himself and Edgeworth.

He knew that the prosecutor would have a fit if he found out about this. He'd known since he'd tacked that first response up on the bulletin board. And in a way, he couldn't blame him. Phoenix knew that he jumped into things all-or-nothing more often than most people. At the same time, he had some kind of reality testing. He wasn't going to learn the basics of how to defend himself and suddenly decide that he was Rambo.

He found an unoccupied locker in the southwest corner and glanced around, trying to gauge how long he could possibly stall in a locker room, looking as if he was expecting something, before people started looking at him strangely. It would have been easier if he'd known something of the description of the man he was supposed to be meeting. As it was, all he had was handwriting and a military rank, neither of which guaranteed any particular appearance.

It's not as if there was a better way to plan this, though. "Yeah, meet me by the lockers. I'll be wearing gray and a smiley face, just like about a hundred other guys."

[for Hughes]

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Schuldig hadn't responded to ZEX's offer with disgust or a flat refusal, which to ZEX was the same as acceptance. Wonderful! Now they simply had to arrange a time and place, hmm... it was unfortunate that he was already busy tonight...

Although, some part of him tried to remind him, he really should be spending his time trying to find a way to return to his normal body and an escape from this place rather than spending his nights in the company of humans. On the other hand, he had been waiting more than twenty years for some of the opportunities presented to him here, and surely he'd earned some time spent embracing a human or two. Or three. Or as many as he could get.

ZEX brushed some of his wet hair from his face. It was really bothersome that humans couldn't move it independently like his head feelers... "Hmm... like I said, I'm still unfamiliar with many things about human bodies, although I'm learning with the help of several helpful teachers." ZEX laughed quietly to himself at the thought. "I've done it once, at least, with my dear Captain..." Then something Schuldig said caught his attention. He blinked curiously. "Two men... why? Is it not the same regardless?"

And there, conveniently laid out for him in ZEX's mind, was all the information he needed. Schuldig couldn't help chuckling. "No, it isn't," he replied, quite thoroughly entertained at having the opportunity to educate ZEX in human sexuality and the practice thereof. Whether or not he demonstrated any of it personally, the next naked encounter with ZEX and Zelnick would be all sorts of amusing. "I can see your captain hasn't properly educated you on this point, but humans don't actually have sex with their hands." He almost began to remark that surely there must be things VUX did that were sexually pleasurable that didn't actually qualify as intercourse before he recalled, at the last moment, that he had absolutely no desire for ZEX to have any thoughts regarding what those practices might be. "We can certainly enjoy ourselves with them, but that's hardly the extent of it.

"Anyway, I suppose you've never seen a naked woman, but they don't actually have these." He pointed downwards. "They have a place where one of these is meant to be inserted, instead. A socket for the plug, in layman's terms." Yes, he was officially having way too much fun with this, and he hoped like hell ZEX asked his captain to clarify some of this later. Especially the hand gesture he was making. "That's how humans reproduce. Obviously, since two men together lack the reproductive point of insertion, they have to improvise. So when men have sex, they do it from the back." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

He was definitely going to have to eavesdrop on ZEX's next conversation with Zelnick. He was sure he'd just needlessly and hilariously made the captain's life a lot more difficult.

Admittedly, ZEX had had some questions after he and his Captain's encounter some nights ago, but he assumed that they had logical answers... or at least, what could pass for logical with a human body. What Schuldig described... didn't make a great deal of sense to him. He'd assumed that humans had evolved their specialized, unwieldy hands because they used them to reproduce, as his Captain had shown him before. Was that not the case? ZEX had always considered himself fairly creative in such matters, but when he tried to picture what Schuldig described... this was more different than he'd anticipated.

"So..." ZEX was puzzled now, and it showed. "So females have..." Still trying to visualize it properly with difficulty. All too many questions... where was it, how big was it, was it open all the time, how did females penetrate in return?

ZEX certainly hadn't noticed a gaping hole in his back or shoulders anywhere, or one anywhere on his Captain either, and he'd think that'd be something that'd be hard to overlook. Again he struggled to visualize what he described, with an expression of deep thought, and then something came to him. "If... but that would mean that only one human would be... reproducing at a time? If they are back to front like you describe. Only one could... penetrate from that position." That didn't sound fun, it should have been something two people could do at the same time. "I suppose you could take turns..."

When was his Captain going to tell him any of this? Human anatomy just took an extremely strange turn that he hadn't expected... although really, what reasonable person could expect what Schuldig described?

Schuldig couldn't help laughing. It was hard not to imagine the look on Zelnick's face if ZEX suggested reproducing with him. "Two males can't reproduce," he informed the alien with a grin. It was tempting to leave ZEX ignorant for his captain and forcing Zelnick to explain...but it was even more tempting to make ZEX all too well-informed and see Zelnick try to talk his way out of getting something a lot more involved than a handjob from him. "Only a male and a female can. Your captain mentioned semen as being part of the process, didn't he? Well, only a female who gets a male's semen in her can reproduce. When two men mate, it's purely for pleasure's sake." That'd appeal to ZEX, Schuldig imagined.

Anyway, there was no real point in describing the workings of heterosexual sex to him in any great detail, since judging by ZEX's track record, he seemed far more interested in men than women, so Schuldig didn't bother elaborating further on that point. Instead he merely grinned. "It's not what you'd call a gaping hole, but it's between your legs. It just happens to be on the opposite side from a female's." He lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "And yes, usually one man penetrates and the other one is penetrated. It's occasionally referred to as being dominant or submissive, since those sorts of personalities tend to translate into who takes which position; usually the more aggressive partner penetrates. And yes, some men switch off, while others prefer one position over the other. Believe me, both can be pleasant. Men have something called a prostate inside them which can be stimulated when they're penetrated, and it makes things extremely pleasant..." He grinned. "And, for the record, it's also possible to combine actual intercourse with what you've already tried with your captain. We call them handjobs, for the record." He held up a hand and wiggled his fingers in a suggestive manner. "Imagine having sex while receiving one of those. Humans are amazingly versatile when it comes to sexual pleasure; trust me, you've hardly scratched the surface. And the timeframe of one shower is way too short for me to begin to explain most of it to you, although I've definitely done my best to hit the highlights."

"I... see," ZEX said, a bit hesitantly. This was all surprisingly complicated. The thought of impregnating someone while he was here certainly hadn't occurred to him! If he did come closer to a female human, he'd have to keep that in mind... perhaps stay with less risky activities.

So one partner was dominant... was that why his Captain hadn't told him about this? Perhaps he was self-conscious about being the submissive partner, since ZEX knew that he was in control of their relationship. That didn't make sense, since it actually sounded like the submissive partner got more enjoyment out of the process, from what Schuldig described... this was, no doubt, something that would make more sense once actually experienced. He'd have to make sure to ask his Captain about it when he had the chance.

"Ah... thank you." ZEX managed to pull himself out of his thoughts for a moment. After all, he was still in a shower with a naked human, and if he still had a little time left... "For explaining such things to me... although I wonder if a demonstration would be more useful?"

No harm in trying!

"Oh, undoubtedly," Schuldig replied with a smirk. "But sadly, the staff takes a dim view of that. Trust me, I've tried." He nodded in the direction of the nearest orderly, who was watching Schuldig with narrowed eyes - he'd definitely made himself a reputation. Either that, or gained an admirer; hard to tell which, really. "And you're already busy tonight, so..."

Well, at least not having the time or opportunity made it a lot easier to not confront the question of whether or not he would if he did.

"Ah, that's true..." He had Wally to meet with... hopefully, he wouldn't be too offended that ZEX hadn't gone to see him the night before. Things had... gotten complicated. Not that ZEX wanted to think about such things now, certainly. "Perhaps some other time then? I am very intrigued by what you describe..."

Although for now, ZEX could look over his body at least one more time...

"Perhaps," Schuldig agreed vaguely, grateful to get off without having to give a definitive answer. It was still aggravatingly tempting. But rather than dwell on uncomfortable questions he'd have to eventually answer, he opted instead to bask in the last few moments of ZEX's admiration and stretched deliberately to give him a good view.

"Wonderful..." Another agreement, as far as ZEX was concerned! And giving him a long stretch like that, it was almost like an invitation... it really was a shame that they didn't allow intimacy during the day! How else could people really connect with one another, hmm...

ZEX was quite glad to take in his body, as long as he offered it for viewing. "I'll be looking forward to it..." Distractedly, as he turned off the water. This time of day never lasted long enough...

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Day 37: Men's Showers

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