damned_institute | Day 37: Sun Room

Joe had read some of the larger notes stuck up on the bulletin board when the announcement came on the intercom. All things considered, this Landel guy didn't even seem so bad. Even if these people were held here against their will, he was certainly nice about it.

Apparently, the new patients - including Joe - were to hang around in the Sun Room or go to Arts and Crafts with the kids. Well, there was plenty of information on the board, including maps and descriptions of monsters, for Joe to prepare for the nighttime, when he could seriously get going on fighting his way out. He could look for where the boss would probably be waiting, or where his V-watch might be, and figure out how to fight the monsters. In fact, he had plenty of time to work all that out... but this the first time he'd had to really relax since he got his powers. So it couldn't possibly hurt to enjoy the calm period, could it?

The red-head stepped back from the board, and hopped back onto a comfy-looking couch to digest in the sunlight. He reached up to pull his cap down, and sighed when he realized it wasn't there. "Oh well, nothing's perfect. I still wouldn't call this hell."

[free!]

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"It at least gives a frame of reference," Valyn responded, his tone rather dry. There was no clear indication of what he was going through on his face or in his voice. He just looked like a slightly tired young man laying his head in the lap of a pretty girl, nothing more.

"I'm very tired of this place, Raine."

"We all are," Raine murmured. What else was there to say? She would miss him when this was over, but she still just wanted to go home.

Valyn looked exhausted; she could guess that he didn't want to be alone, but maybe if she got him to sit with her, he'd go to sleep. She stroked his back a little, hoping to relax him at least.

"I suppose I should be thankful to this place in a way, but I can't bring myself to find any good in it at the moment." Valyn settled in more comfortably, enjoying the attention from Raine. Perhaps this was what he needed.

What good could he assign to this place, when even though it gave him back his life, it took from him the things he cared about.

"Most of what's happened in my life originated from things I never would have chosen--that doesn't make dealing with it much easier, either," Raine admitted.

Besides Genis, the last person she'd held like this was Colette, but--it managed not to be awkward. Once upon a time, Raine thought she remembered liking touch; Valyn did remind her of living in Heimdall, so maybe that was it. Or maybe she was finally learning to push past her habit of self-isolation.

"Mmm." It wasn't really something Valyn could comment on. He did move to sit with Raine, however, dragging himself up and into something resembling a slightly less defeated position.

"I find myself at a loss as to what to do now," he admitted. He was so used to how things were, after all.

"This is the third time in twelve years I've ended up stranded on an unfamiliar world, and it's so different every time that a frame of reference doesn't help much," Raine said softly. "The only thing to do, really, is keep going. Even if you're just going through the motions at times, as long as you have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, you'll survive."

At least she knew about forcing herself to go on. When she had first gotten to Sylvarant, needing to take care of Genis helped her hold herself together. Now, it was the goal of getting back to him.

"The unfamiliarity isn't a problem," Valyn said, casually leaning against Raine, taking solace that way. "I've given up everything I knew before, and chosen to live in miserable and frighteningly foreign conditions. It's the lack of purpose, the lack of direction. I honestly find myself wondering why I get out of bed." There were no inflections in the words, as serious as they most likely were. Rather, Valyn simply spoke of his ennui as though it were the weather.

"Another day of being treated like a slave, and a nightmarish stint where nothing is accomplished. And the next morning, I'm worse off than I was before."

"My only role is passive," Raine replied quietly; she was relaxed against him in turn, at least as much as she could be. "I know it's important--I can name several people who would have died if I wasn't there--but while I'm used to being the support mage, usually I can do far more than this.

"Overall, it feels uncomfortably like when I first came to Sylvarant; no immediate worries about shelter and the days are somewhat predictable, but with no idea when everything's going to fall apart."

She wasn't the scared, lost child she had been, but sometimes it was hard to remember that.

"I don't feel like I have role anymore," Valyn admitted. "I know I have to be strong for my cousin, but..." Shadow had grown and matured so much since they left the Hernalth Manor. Did he truly need Valyn the way he used to? Not for protection, that was certain. Shadow could protect himself here. And they had more than just each other now.

"It is all going to fall apart, isn't it? For some of us, it already is. How long can it hold the way it has?"

"I don't know. There are people who have been here for over a month; how long has it been for us? Two weeks?" Raine was seriously losing track.

"But it's all right to feel lost or even to give up for a while. I don't want to say it, but it happens. Just... remember we aren't alone."

"Is it?" Valyn raised his eyebrow. He'd never been one for giving up. It would certainly be easy enough to, and would have been throughout his life, but that just wasn't his nature. Perhaps he'd inherited that from his father as well. The same single minded determination, the same fighting spirit.

"I've never given much stock to giving up, even for a small while."

"I have before--maybe not entirely, but I did. It doesn't matter as long as it doesn't last." Just a point Raine thought she should make; apparently she did go into Teacher Mode even with adult friends.

"Mmm." Valyn straightened up at the sound of the intercom. He found he had little more to say on the subject - at least that he could give voice too.

"We'll speak again," he offered instead, reaching out to brush at a bit of Raine's hair.

Raine still winced a little when he touched her hair--it wasn't personal, she was just used to being paranoid about making sure people didn't do that. But she didn't flinch away.

Nodding, she said, "If you don't mind being interrupted occasionally, I'm idle during much of the night." Just in case he wanted to see her again soon; they should talk more than they did.

Day 37: Sun Room

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