damned_institute | Day 37: Sun Room

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Day 37: Sun Room

Joe had read some of the larger notes stuck up on the bulletin board when the announcement came on the intercom. All things considered, this Landel guy didn't even seem so bad. Even if these people were held here against their will, he was certainly nice about it.

Apparently, the new patients - including Joe - were to hang around in the Sun Room or go to Arts and Crafts with the kids. Well, there was plenty of information on the board, including maps and descriptions of monsters, for Joe to prepare for the nighttime, when he could seriously get going on fighting his way out. He could look for where the boss would probably be waiting, or where his V-watch might be, and figure out how to fight the monsters. In fact, he had plenty of time to work all that out... but this the first time he'd had to really relax since he got his powers. So it couldn't possibly hurt to enjoy the calm period, could it?

The red-head stepped back from the board, and hopped back onto a comfy-looking couch to digest in the sunlight. He reached up to pull his cap down, and sighed when he realized it wasn't there. "Oh well, nothing's perfect. I still wouldn't call this hell."

[free!]

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[Cuddlehime. ♥]

If Shana was gone (and it looked like she was damn it damn it damn it), Keman didn't know how he could function. Breakfast with Shadow and Valyn had felt vaguely dream-like and as he was lead into the Sun Room for the next shift, he realized he didn't remember if he'd actually eaten or not. But it didn't matter. He wasn't hungry.

Keman felt, quite literally, lost with out her. He'd spent the last sixteen years of his life taking care of her. When she was banished, he ran away to find her. She was his best friend, and his closest confidante, and now they'd taken her from him.

They took her.

It was then, finally, that it really began to sink in. They'd taken everything away from Keman. His body, his family, his foster sister. They'd taken his whole identity away from him.

Did that mean that he was going to be the next to disappear?

She'd been cheerful for Ururu at breakfast because she needed to be, but once she stopped having to push herself up for someone it just got harder and harder to tell herself everything was alright. No matter how hard she tried, she felt like someone had made a small hole in her heart, something that worried away at the hope she held for Rukia and Ichigo and all her friends who were lost. And yet, stubbornly, she didn't want to let it. It was an uphill fight with herself.

This wasn't the first time someone she loved had died. For Sora, she had tried to remember him every day, and then she had tried to give him the chance to move on too late. She knew clinging to the memories would only bring Renji more pain but if she had to hold it all in much longer she was just going to burst or worse, that hole was going to become wide enough to swallow her heart up.

She couldn't be alone right now. She didn't want to be.

The nurse let her into the sun room and pointed out Keman, saying something about them cheering each other up. After a moment's hesitation, Orihime crossed over to him, her smile a little flat. "K-Keman-kun. Do you mind if I - are you waiting for someone? I..."

Orihime covered her mouth. There were tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She tried to wipe them away but they just kept coming once she really started. "I'm sorry. I think I'm just...tired.."

Keman's body reacted faster than his mind did. By the time it actually registered that Orihime was there, and she was crying, he'd already pulled her down onto the couch with him and was holding her tightly. "You don't have to apologize to me," he said into her hair, taking a deep, shuddering breath. His own cheeks, he realized, were kind of damp. When had that happened?

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

They'd both lost so much.

Eventually her sobs subsided, and she could breathe a little without choking on them. She'd wrapped her arms around Keman somewhere in the process, clinging to him like she wanted to hold him together so he wouldn't disappear too. His shirt was soaking wet beneath her cheek, sort of tacky and gross too. But he was warm, and alive, and that was nice.

She didn't lift her head but she loosed her death grip a little, still trying to breath slowly and evenly. They'd both lost people they loved. What could she do or say to make that better? "...I think I got a lot of snot on your shirt."

Keman held Orihime just as tightly. He didn't want to let go. If he let go, she might as well. He didn't want to be alone right now. It did feel a little odd, to be holding her and not Shana. Shana was taller than Orihme, and--

A small, shuddering sob escaped his own lips. He couldn't think about his sister right now. It hurt far too much.

Eventually, Orihime pulled away slightly, and Keman loosened his grip. "That's all right," he said, laughing slightly. How very like her to say that.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I think I'll live."

She knew she should let him go. She wasn't exactly the smallest girl, and his legs would fall asleep and all sorts of uncomfortable things like that but they were both feeling lonely and she didn't want to separate any more than he did.

She wiped her face a little with her sleeve before looking up at him. Even though he'd laughed he looked so sad. Since her sleeve was already dirty, she reached brushed her hand against his cheek. "Keman-kun... I'm really glad you're here."

"I'm..." Keman trailed off, thinking. There was a wellspring of emotions building up, and he had to sort through them all. There wasn't any logic here, no ancient manuscripts that he had to translate or maps to look over. Nothing to make sense of. Fewmets. "I'm not going to say that I'm glad you're here too, because I wouldn't wish this place on anyone, especially not you. You're too precious to me for that. I'd be glad if you were home, with your family and friends." He smiled then, an actual, honest smile and brushed some of the hair out of your face. "But I am glad I got to meet you. I...will you stay with me?" And then came those emotions. Keman started to cry again, quietly sobbing into Orihime's shoulder. "Please don't leave. I don't want to be alone."

Orihime felt herself blush, partially because of the touch but mostly because she felt like she'd just said something stupid and selfish without thinking about it at all. Of course she didn't want him to be here, right? She couldn't help but remember her conversation with Shana, about staying here if their friends were alive and well, if they didn't have to go through the nightly tortures of Landel's and..

It was so strange to be called precious. Her heart did that weird little skip-beat when he smiled and when he cried. She shifted a little so she could wrap her arms around his neck and stroke his hair like she had done for Renamon. She would fight tooth and nail to stay with them, but she knew there was always the chance she would be killed or disappeared like the others. In that case...her heart had a place here. It would stay with her friends, something no force in any world could take away. Not this place or its lies. Not death. They were stronger than all of that.

"You'll never be alone. My heart - and Shana's heart - they're always with you."

Crying was...cathartic. Once Keman had let himself weep for a while, he actually felt a little better than he had before (except for the awful headache that was growing behind his eyes). He still felt empty, but it was a...different kind of emptiness. "I'm sorry," he said eventually, "I think I've gotten snot on your shirt as well. I guess we're even now." He couldn't let himself break down again like this. It seemed a little ridiculous, to bend to social morays that weren't even his own, but he had to be the strong one right now. Males weren't supposed to cry. It wasn't that he didn't want to look "weak" to the other males in the room, either. He had responsibilities to his friends, and the people here, and to Shana. If she truly had suffered the same fate as his mother and sister and had been taken by this place, he needed to get her back rather than focusing on what he'd lost.

"Thank you. I--I'm all right now. Thank you." He shifted a little so that Orihime could rest a little more comfortably against him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He stroked her hair, just letting the words come as he thought of them. "I took care of her, you know. Shana, I mean. She was less than a day old when my mother gave her to me, because she was about to give birth herself and couldn't do it herself. I was just a child, too...only about ten years old or so. I'd never seen a real two-legger before, much less a baby one. She was so tiny and helpless. She's not helpless anymore, though. Wherever she is, she's fighting."

Orihime smiled a little despite herself. All of the snot was gross and funny in a weird kind of way.

She wasn't used to all this holding but she didn't mind if Keman didn't mind. It was sort of nice to be warm and comforted while she listened to the words and Keman's heartbeat in her ear. "Kurosaki-kun will help her and Kuchiki-kun and Kisuke-san. She won't be alone either with so many people fighting. And even though he's gone now," She swallowed. "Abarai-san will give them strength."

Abarai--oh, right. Renji. Keman felt horrible about it, but he'd almost forgotten about Renji in the face of losing Shana. He'd only spoken with the man on a few occasions, but he'd liked him immensely those times. Rukia too. "Kurosaki-kun" and "Kisuke-san" were unfamiliar names, and he could only assume that they were also friends of hers.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I've been awfully selfish."

Orihime looked up at him, obviously confused. If anything, she was the one being selfish. Keman had just lost someone who he'd spent his whole life with and she knew what it was like to lose a sibling. He was a lot stronger than she had been at the time, but leaning on him was still imposing and selfish - and she was still clinging to him, an apology lost somewhere in the back of her throat. She didn't know if that was a good thing.

"What do you mean?"

"You lost someone too," Keman said, a little awkwardly. "I know that Renji was very dear to you. It was selfish of me to just gloss over it like that, not when I know you're hurting too. So...I apologize."

"I don't accept." Orihime replied, somewhere between joking and stubbornness. "You shouldn't apologize for that. You lost part of your family and you still let me get snot all over your shirt first. That's just like you, Keman-kun. I couldn't have done that when I lost my brother."

She leaned against him again. "You remind me of him a little."

Truthfully, she felt bad. Though she adored the other girl, she remembered being a little jealous of Shana when she talked about her family. Not nearly enough to wish that Shana and Keman were separated - ever - but she shouldn't have felt it at all. She didn't want to be that kind of person. She just couldn't help it and now... she would have given up anything she had to make things good for them again.

"Anyway... Abarai-san wouldn't want us all to sulk over him. He'd want everyone to fight and to protect each other. I'm not very strong, but I think if I can keep helping people a little bit maybe it's something."

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Day 37: Sun Room

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