damned_institute | Nightshift 36: M31-40

Somehow, the conversation had swung around to the topic of him, and Zelnick blinked in faint bemusement before he started to blush faintly. "Yeah, if I had to craft a perfect fantasy world, there wouldn't have been half so many Ur-Quan, and the Ilwrath and Dnyarri would rather make daisychains than chaos," he half-joked, trying to pretend that him being the pivotal bright spot in ZEX's life wasn't at all flattering. Er, creepy, he meant.

"Er" indeed, actually; that was the first thing he said when ZEX declared his intention to follow him, no matter what. Then he explained and agreed, "Pressing charges means accusing you of doing something illegal. And I really wouldn't do that to you unless you actually, y'know, did something seriously illegal, and I held it against you." ZEX's hand on his face and possessive declaration was totally... creepy, yes, not at all kinda weirdly sweet, "I'd die without you" was incredibly creepily co-dependent and not at all the reason Zelnick blushed more and suddenly felt a little like his stomach was trying to do backflips.

"Yes... and I doubt my life would have been quite so difficult. It does puzzle me, why someone would want to imagine facing the kind of baseless persecution and prejudice that I did..." Unless Max had his own motivation for that as well... another reflection of his unhappy life? Perhaps Max had been persecuted unfairly himself for some reason or another, and just unconsciously worked that into his fantasy, although he seemed to have given a happier ending to ZEX in a way. He tried to keep his voice light, but it was a bit difficult with his current train of thought. "One might think in an ideal world, I'd be interested in my own species, even... but perhaps Max had his reasons for that as well. It's hard to say."

Although, he couldn't imagine not being interested in humans, particularly the one sitting beneath him right now with a hand over his eye. He did smile, this time genuinely, at how his human changed color in that fetching way he loved. He leaned in quite close to him, one hand on his face and the other idly running along his human's side. "That's what I told him," ZEX whispered. "He worries too much." And if there was anything that could get ZEX's mind off his problems, and indeed off of mostly anything else...

ZEX shifted a little, slowly, on his human's lap, his wandering hand toying with the edge of his shirt, and he briefly touched his lips to his Captain's skin before whispering again. "Besides, there are... other things you could hold against me..."

"I can't imagine why anyone would make up your life for theirself," he agreed. It was hardly the sort of world one would escape to, with the trauma and the horrible therapists and such... something to think about sometime when ZEX wasn't being so distracting, all too close and touching him and making his heart beat faster.

This was definitely about the right time to pull away, since ZEX was obviously feeling better, and since Tanaka didn't seem very likely to come by and interrupt at this point. Definitely the right time. And entirely the wrong time to make an uncertain sound and keep holding ZEX and not protest at all, definitely.

Apparently, Zelnick had a bad sense of timing.

"It wasn't all bad, human..." ZEX was still smiling, although close proximity to a human body did tend to have that effect on him. Particularly his Captain's when he was in this position. "But if it was a fantasy, I could think of several things that could be improved..."

Not that his existential crisis was foremost in his mind right now, what with his Captain so warm beneath his hands and obviously in need of some encouragement. He was continually surprised by the strength of chemicals in the human brain... how easy it was to focus on the physical now! And far preferable to the alternative, given that he still didn't have a solid answer, and if he wasn't who he thought he was, then...

That could wait. His human's chest was in desperate need of being thoroughly touched, and something that important deserved his full attention. Not that he'd allow his human's mouth to go unappreciated either, and he had to make that clear as well. Although, leaning in for a kiss did feel a bit strange with his Captain's hand still over his eye... not that he'd let something like that stop him.

This was much better already.

If Zelnick had been thinking at all, he might have decided that this felt far better than trying to verbally reassure ZEX. (Or done the sensible thing and stopped ZEX, though sometime over the last week the urge to do that had faded.) Since thinking was the last thing on his mind, he instead kissed ZEX back, tentatively, slowly sliding that awkwardly-placed hand to rest against ZEX's cheek instead of over his eye. And ZEX's other hand, that felt good, too....

Not that he enjoyed this, certainly not any part of this scenario at all, ZEX in his lap and kissing him and feeling warm and comfortable against him. It was something he could live without, and he was absolutely going to put a stop to it any moment now, as soon as he found his inhibitions and common sense and such.

It was so much better when his human reciprocated! It seemed that he always had to take the first step, but gradually his human's periods of resistance were becoming shorter and shorter. A success by any measure! Coming to accept what, ZEX was sure, were deep and abiding feelings towards him. Whether or not they were both mad and pretending at being other people suddenly didn't seem to matter as much, although he remembered, in a distant sort of way, that it had been very important not too long ago.

But that was then. Right now he had much more urgent matters to attend to, such as stroking his human's smooth, warm skin, and kissing him more fervently. Finally continuing after their unfortunate interruption last night! And unless his Captain's roommates (were they even still there?) decided to intervene, ZEX wasn't about to be interrupted again. He needed this right now, he thought firmly. More than usual.

His inhibitions and common sense and such seemed quite determined to evade him, and he leaned into the kiss and the touch, heart thumping like a particularly up-beat drum. Doing things that he totally didn't like at all with ZEX felt really good, so good that he continued to entirely forget about the possibly-still-present Kenren and Momo in favor of stroking ZEX's cheek with his thumb and letting his other hand go where it will, which turned out to be up the back of ZEX's shirt, delicately holding ZEX at the small of his back.

His human was really so good at this! And it was a very welcome distraction from questions about his identity... although, in a way, he wasn't surprised that this was so easy to focus on. After all, it'd been a keystone of his identity, his self for so long... he adored humans. There were no questions there, and he was very tired of questions.

He so loved his human's touch! It reminded him of how sensitive his human body really was... he'd felt so tired and lifeless before! They really were amazing... he leaned into his human's hand on his face, and sighed at the touch to his back. He pulled away from him for a moment to look at him, one eye shut and the other half-lidded, and ZEX had deeply satisfied smile on his face, although he wasn't aware of it.

"Much better..." ZEX breathed. "This is much better..." He certainly didn't feel cold anymore, that was for sure.

ZEX looked far more normal with one eye shut, and seeing a real smile on his face made Zelnick feel warmer all over, in the happy kind of way. ZEX shouldn't ever hurt, or so it seemed to his rather pleasure-fogged brain, and a smile (no matter how cat-in-the-cream it looked) was a good sign that he wasn't hurting at all.

His common sense still hiding from him like a Spathi from a monster, he grinned dizzily at ZEX and said, "Good. Better is good." And something else that would be good would be... he leaned in and kissed ZEX, a few quick pecks, lips then jaw then neck (ZEX really liked that, he remembered, and ZEX feeling good was definitely a good thing).

"Yes..." That certainly couldn't be argued right now, since it seemed that human brains couldn't function very well in the midst of this sort of thing. What an odd trade off! Perhaps he just had to get a human started and it'd just continue from there as they stopped thinking clearly... he'd have to try and remember that in the future.

His human kissed him and his scattered thoughts quickly realigned on the thrill of having his human express affection without being prompted. "Ah, yes..." With a soft shudder and a quiet gasp as his human touched his neck. He'd forgotten how sensitive it could be... he leaned his head back with a quiet, needy kind of moan to ask for more. He was always willing to lavish attention on his human, but if his Captain wanted to do the reverse, ZEX was very much in the mood to be ravished. His human wanting him... there was no better feeling in the world.

It was very, very hard to think of anything except kissing ZEX's neck, though Zelnick did manage to hope that ZEX was finding it equally distracting, keep his mind off today and on less depressing things.

It seemed an awful lot like it was working. Which was good, because Zelnick was only doing this to comfort his ally and raise morale-- "this" being kissing and nibbling ZEX's neck, and petting his back, and gently stroking his face-- and certainly not because he might kinda like it, too.

Maybe, if he told himself that often and insistently enough, it would become true. Someday.

ZEX did very much enjoy this, and it was very quickly becoming the only thing he currently cared about. He didn't keep that a secret either, not that he'd ever been a particularly quiet person about this sort of thing, and he made soft, wanting sounds at every touch to his skin. Ah, it was like his human was surrounding him, holding and touching him from every angle, and of course, what could he do in such a situation but surrender? He was quite willing to do that, if this was how he'd be treated...

His human heart was beating worryingly hard again, and it seemed that as usual his body couldn't regulate heat correctly, but both things weren't important right now. Shivering, with faint hums of pleasure and quiet gasps when he felt his teeth, ZEX shifted on his lap to try and come closer to him. He held onto him with both hands, almost dizzy with desire for him already. Ah, how he wanted this...

Though perhaps not as fast as ZEX's, Zelnick's heart was picking up its own pace, thumping along cheerfully and mixing with ZEX's voice in his ears. ZEX, who was too good at sounding really really good, and far too good at making Zelnick maybe want to hear a little more of that kind of noise, something he could probably do if he pressed ZEX up as close to him as possible and kept on (gently) attacking ZEX's neck, and petting the rest of him. Being so obviously appreciated made him feel good...

ZEX was all too willing to provide him with all the noises he wanted and more, as long as he kept doing what he was doing. He certainly wasn't about to resist being drawn in closer to him, and he embraced him readily, one hand sliding up into his human's hair. So many tiny strands, so many nerves in their supple necks, human bodies were amazing, they really were...

He briefly made a noble effort to remember that he had a serious problem to solve, but his fevered thoughts made quick work of it. Even if he was actually an insane human named Max, who had wounded his human so badly as to trap him here with him, surely it all was worth it to be here with him now, so he could do this with him. It made sense for the moment, although he doubted it would have if he'd been occupied doing anything else.

ZEX shuddered beneath his human's hands, rising and falling slightly with each stroke along his back, breathing harshly beside his human ear, still murmuring faint requests for more in the midst of incoherent, wanting sounds. "Oh human..." Shaking and needy. "Captain, ah..."

Vaguely, Zelnick noted to himself that doing much more would require relocating to the bed-- the chair was fine for what was happening right now, but it would be awkward for anything more, uh, enthusiastic.

... enthusiastic? Was he really considering having sex with ZEX again?

Zelnick paused, a brilliant blush rising to his face. Oh, crud. He's told ZEX that wasn't going to happen again, hadn't he? Yeah, he had, and he really really really hadn't intended to change his mind on that, and certainly not with so little prompting, and anyway he was pretty sure it was horribly unprofessional to sleep with an ally (Talana excepted), so he should definitely stop. No matter how good this all felt. And despite how rationalizing it made it seem like he was doing this for ZEX's mental health. Anything to help an ally, right? Except...

Somehow, this had gotten really confusing in the past five seconds.

ZEX was very much lost in the moment, and therefore was caught completely off-guard when it seemed to stop. That certainly wasn't what he was hoping to achieve by the noises he was making by any means, whether or not all of them were intentional, and he waited for a few more seconds to see if his human would continue.

He opened his eyes and looked at his Captain blankly, who was changing color very strongly, but still wasn't continuing. Certainly wasn't kissing his neck as he had before, and ZEX couldn't think of any reason why he would stop in his addled state.

"Mm?" A simple, curious sound, then he managed to gather his thoughts enough to say something a bit more coherent. "Is something wrong?" He really hoped not, and he toyed a bit with his human's hair to try and reorient him to the task at hand.

Zelnick wasn't sure how to explain, especially not with ZEX distracting him-- he needed to stop feeling so nice in Zelnick's arms, immediately-- and so buried his burning face against ZEX's neck, trying to figure out words for his confusion. "It's nothing," he mumbled, then, "feels like I shouldn't be doing this." Except for the part where all those pesky hormones and emotions and other non-logical things were saying that he should, definitely, why the heck had he stopped?

ZEX made a puzzled sound when his human hid his face, not sure what he was doing. This was very peculiar. He kept his arms around him just in case he got any ideas.

Shouldn't be doing this? Where had he gotten such an idea? "Why?" ZEX asked, plainly confused, and his thoughts began to realign into more coherent patterns without his human's pleasant distraction.

His worries had been muffled, and now they rose in volume again. What if his human's hesitance now was Caleb's, remembering what he'd done to him and how he really felt for him? Caleb slowly remembering, Caleb actually existing, being the human in his arms now. That sent a cold spike of doubt through his pleasant mood, and ZEX tightened his grip on him and began lightly kissing his neck, trying to distract him.

"Of course, of course we should..." In between kisses, breathless with a touch of desperation. "Captain..."

Well... well, as long as it didn't get out of hand, like that one time...

Zelnick might have been swayed by the way ZEX's kisses made him want to moan (and he did, quietly), and the faint edge of neediness that made him need to reassure ZEX that everything was okay (even if the reassurance came in the form of petting ZEX's back again and combing his other hand through ZEX's hair).

Like hell was he going to let ZEX get upset again.

He didn't give him a reason for why they should stop, so ZEX preferred to think it was because there was no good reason, as opposed to it being subconscious, or due to any kind of different identity, or any number of unpleasant possibilities. No reason, no fear, no doubt, just this. This was much better.

And the sound of his human's quiet moaning was reassuring enough, in its own way. How he loved to hear those sounds! And to have him touch him, touch his hair, so many sensations that were all so wonderfully overwhelming...

Far preferable to an identity crisis. ZEX let out a soft, long sigh, calmed in a way, and he slowed a bit in his attentions, not quite as desperate. His human's skin had such a unique taste to it...

With a breathy noise that was all yes, please, Zelnick tilted his head to rub his cheek against ZEX's hair. Worrying about whether he should be doing this really wasn't half so fun as doing it... and making ZEX worry because he was worried was pretty much the opposite of enjoyable. No, he should definitely go with the flow, just enough to keep ZEX happy.

And just enough to get himself to feel kinda warm and like he needed to cuddle ZEX closer.

Mmm, he loved the sounds his human made! They were even better than he'd imagined. They were such strange, simple creatures, so intoxicating. Every sound his human made keyed into his own body somehow, human bodies no doubt designed to react to one another appropriately, and caused an addictive, exhilarating sensation in the pit of his stomach. It was foreign to him, which in a way only heightened the appeal. Every physical reaction a surprise... he'd never get tired of this.

Being held by his human so gently, even while he prompted such pleading sounds from him, did wonders for wiping his mind of any other thoughts. So wonderful to be wanted by a human... It was a shame that he didn't have his natural tongue, there was so much more he could do with it. As it was...

"Human..." Quietly breathed across his neck when ZEX paused in his attentions. Focusing on the word, the concept in a kind of wonderous way. "Human, human, mmm..."

The tickle of the word being spoken across his skin made Zelnick shiver, the feeling far too intense for something so close to imperceptible, but he couldn't resist a wry chuckle and murmured, "Glad you noticed." Huh, but ZEX saying the pet name (would that be the right word? He certainly tended to use it as one, even if it was technically Zelnick's species) meant that he had stopped the kissing, which felt even better, so he should obviously start it again, yeah?

Zelnick nuzzled his hair again, and stroked his back some more, and curled his other arm around his waist, encouraging him to go back to doing things that felt very very good.

"Mmm, of course..." How could he not? It was what made him so irresistable. Everything about him was so wonderfully alien, unpredictable and different and strange. How could him being a VUX even be in doubt when he was attracted so strongly to someone else because they were a different species? Of course, his human also happened to be willing and open-minded and obviously fond of him, which didn't hurt his attractiveness any.

ZEX pressed against him with a sigh, toyed with his hair as he kissed lightly across his skin. It was so much easier to focus on this rather than anything else. "I adore you, you know..." Softly. "You're so different..."

Normally, the praise would have made him all blushy and embarassed, but it just made him feel weirdly happy when ZEX was so close and warm and touching him so thought-numbingly nicely. So, instead of doing the blush-stutter-stopitZEX thing, he made a happy noise and tilted his head against ZEX's hand, basking in the sensation.

i don't mind O3

wantsyourzex.livejournal.com - 2008-11-17 06:54 (UTC) - Expand

Nightshift 36: M31-40

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REPLY FAIL s-sorry about the delay D:

i don't mind O3

Nightshift 36: M31-40

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*REPLY FAIL* s-sorry about the delay D:

i don't mind O3

REPLY FAIL s-sorry about the delay D: