damned_institute | Day 21

Ichigo was only too eager to leave the cafeteria and its fresh memories behind when the softened chime of the intercome rang clear. What had begun as another ordinary meal, a rather agreeable one despite the lack of the proper utensils, quickly became somewhat unnerving. His conversation with...what was his name again?...took so many sharp turns, he should've felt dizzy. It was easy to feel a little sorry for the guy, though; surrounded by stangers in a very strange place, it was hard to blame him for being so alarmed.

The Sun Room occurred as a more enjoyable choice to spend the time; he had nothing against music, but something about being surrounded by some of the most unruly characters he'd ever met, each of them armed with cacophonous weaponry, didn't sound smart. Once his nurse departed, the young man picked out a cozy little spot near a flood of sunshine and settled in, cradling his head in the palms of his hands. There, he stared up almost bitterly at the ceiling with sharply focused eyes, still exuding the same unapproachable sense of being as ever.

The room was warm, even a little comforting, for any of the tired, weary masses found in Landel's halls, or even those who just craved a little peace and quiet. All he could hear, from end of the room, were soft footfalls and hushed voices. That sounded just fine to the 'berry head.

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The hell....? One minute Shuldig had seemed fine, then he went... well, into whatever he was slipping into now. It was like watching a train wreck.

"Hey, hey, come on, calm down...." Hughes wet his lips, not sure if he should try to stabilize Shuldig through physical contact or if that would make things worse. "Come on, talk to us. What's wrong? What's going on?"

He had no idea what had just happened. There were stilted words coming out of the man and he was laughing like he was mad and something was seriously wrong/. What had triggered it? What had happened?

"This ever happened before?" he asked Yohji, glancing over at the other man, wishing he knew what the hell to do. Or that at least they'd figure something out before one of the staff noticed what was going on. "Come on Shuldig, just calm down!" It was the only thing he could think of to say.

If one of the staff noticed, Shuldig would probably get a tranquilizer and carted away.

Yohji could only stare for a moment, fear coursing through his veins. What was happening? Schuldig...

His attention snapped to Hughes for a moment before turning back to the telepath. "I don't know! Only times we've ever met before we were trying to kill each other!"

He stared for a moment longer. What did he do? Sure, he didn't like the man, but Schuldig was someone from home, someone familiar and in an odd way, that was comforting. He pushed himself to his knees, leaning closer to Schuldig. He could hear the other man muttering words, nonsense words, panicked and hurt. Half forgotten memories flashed to the surface. They'd been fighting in the Esstet compound, Schuldig had said things then, he could remember that. Telepathy wasn't a gift it was a curse. And what he was saying echoed within Yohji's own head. Reset, do-over, start again, empty slate. wipe it clean and start again.

Make it stop.

Hardly thinking about what he was doing, he reached out and grabbed one of Schuldig's hands, grabbing his chin with his free hand. "You'd better fucking get back to normal you bastard," he hissed lowly, wanting to shake the telepath. He pushed Schuldig's head up, forcing him to meet Yohji's eyes. Like hell he would let Schuldig fall into insanity when Yohji had to suffer this fucking place and endure the outskirts.

And there, like the flash of a lighthouse in the distance, was something calling him back. The contact between himself and Yohji - there was nothing whatsoever romantic in the fact that it allowed him to stabilize, just a little bit; all that mattered was that, in the touch, there was someone else feeling the exact same contact he was. That narrowed the thoughts that could be his down to two minds, his own and Yohji's, and as he dragged himself back into his own head something like awareness returned to his eyes.

Shame. It was intense, and loathsome as it was it was another identifier of his own thoughts - he hadn't broken down since Rosenkreuz, never in front of an enemy, and the thought of being seen like this, of having it made so inescapably clear how precariously he balanced on the edge of the catastrophe curve, burned like a sun.

It was the first time he'd actually felt shame of any sort in a long while, and he dropped his eyes. He wasn't sure what was worse, losing his sense of self or being pitied - it would help if one didn't tend to lead to the other.

He was hardly stable yet - he was still swimming against the tide - but he'd managed to find a few threads to cling to. Provided none of them broke, he might still be able to claw his way back to balance ~~if not dignity~~.

"Asuka," he tried, then swore colorfully. No. He kept a tighter grip on himself this time, refused to be thrown - given how damned much Yohji brooded over her there was no shame in saying her name when he meant another. "Crawford," he tried again, more emphatically.

For perhaps the hundredth time, Schuldig wondered where the hell the bastard was. He'd always been there before when the German needed him, if only because Crawford always knew when exactly he would be needed.

Then, as if to welcome him back, the headache hit, so powerful that Schuldig shuddered and retched before groaning and trying to curl up on himself. "No fair," he muttered. Then, with an effort, managed, "Get one of those vapid cunts to bring me aspirin."

Given the situation, he damned well thought crudity was appropriate. Then, with considerable relief, embraced the fact that he thought.

What the hell had just happened? Whatever it was, Yohji seemed to be snapping the man out of it.

"I'll get you an aspirin," Hughes said, nodding. It was the very least he could do. Since he sure as hell didn't know what else he could possibly do. It looked like Yohji could handle... whatever. It wouldn't take long to get a simple painkiller from a nurse. They liked him, for the most part.

"You just hang tight, okay?" And Hughes was standing, looking for a nurse that didn't look busy - there was some commotion - or angry. Their attention seemed focused on whatever was going on on the other side of the room. He found a young one and managed to procure the pill, some generic mild painkiller. Just one, but it was something. He headed back and sat down, holding out the pill.

"Here. This is what she gave me." Hopefully that would help.

Asuka. Yohji took a sharp breath at the mention of her name, bile rising in his throat for a second. He looked around wildly for a moment, half expecting to see her there, watching him like she sometimes did. But nothing. He turned his attention back to Schuldig. The telepath was looking a little better, not so vacant although more than a little sick looking.

He smiled gratefully at Hughes when the other man returned with the painkiller. "Thanks." Why the hell was he helping Schuldig anyway? If anything, he should have enjoyed the sight of the man in pain after everything he'd done. But he just fell dull and empty and kind of... sad?

Yohji still hadn't let go of him. He started to pull away, almost reluctantly (although that was something he refused to acknowledge) when Hughes held out the pill.

Schuldig laughed again, but this laugh was far less frantic and manic than the last - mostly it was pained and exasperated. "Thanks." He forced himself to remove his hands from his head (it wasn't like they were actually doing anything to ease the headache anyway) and took the pill from Hughes with fingers that were bloodstained around the nails. Noting this, Schuldig grimaced inwardly. Showering's going to sting for a couple days.

He snapped the pill in half and swallowed it dry before glancing over at Yohji. "You can't be that lonely," he remarked drily.

Day 21 - Sun Room

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