Day 35: Twin Pines Restaurant

[byname-bynature.livejournal.com]

(From here!)

Artemis walked into the restaurant and glanced around at the decor. He wasn't impressed, but he wasn't disdainful either. He simply smiled. It was nice... for a town with a population of barely three hundred.

The boy smiled up at the person up front. "Two, if you please."

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[adevilmaycry.livejournal.com]

"That's some sound logic, lady." He sighed and closed his eyes, holding the pizza above his head and lowering it slowly and then biting it. Oh goddamn. Fucking pizza. It was the best thing he'd tasted in two whole days. He was taking another one with him on the bus, to hell with what they said. And he was going to smuggle something into that take out bag. Something.

He watched her as he ate. She was... well, soulless. He knew soulless. He'd stomped enough demons into the floor to knew when something was... empty. Whatever this woman was (besides unblinking, unwavering, and mildly attractive), she was not human, or at least new to the whole human thing. The not having a soul became apparent by her speech. Robotic. Man, without powers to bust shit up, Dante seemed to be learning a lot of shit he wouldn't have cared about otherwise.

"You got a name, freak?"

[2cuprhubarb.livejournal.com]

GLaDOS watched as the man ate his pizza. He seemed to be truly enjoying it, as if it were the only thing he could ever eat in his entire life to be genuinely, unceasingly happy. It was a lot like how she felt about cake, except she was never able to eat it before. The presence merely made her happy. The idea of recipes, stored in her memory, brought her false joy.

But now. Now, she could taste it.

Programmed joy was imminent.

"Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System," she said, repeating her full title again. "It can be shortened to GLaDOS for convenience." The insult seemed to go right over her head. "And what's your designation?"

The waitress returned with her food, and immediately, GLaDOS' plunged her fork into the entree. Finish it first, and then savor the cake ...

[adevilmaycry.livejournal.com]

"Glados. Right." Designation? "My name's Dante."

He observed the woman as he finished off the pizza. Her eating was methodical. And while she ate she just stared at her own cake. He leaned back and burped lightly. "Whew, scuse me. Nice to finally have something worth eating other than that plastic-wrapped crap back at the main building. Good food does not come in plastic, if you ask me. Pizza... is good food. Fuck knows I didn't think it could get any better, but here they've got pizza sandwiches."

He leaned forwards, looking at her, and reached forward to stab at her cake. He had to know just how ... devoted she was. He wanted to annoy her like she was annoying him. Despite having two more slices of his own, he stabbed his fork into hers. Testing.

[2cuprhubarb.livejournal.com]

"All food can be delicious." She may have been a bit biased because of how relatively new she was to taste, but it was still an honest opinion for her. "It all depends on how you -- "

GLaDOS was cut short as she watched Dante suddenly reach across the table with his fork. His fork, which was headed for her cake. Her cake. Her cake. Her cake.

HER. CAKE.

In an instant - as soon as his fork plunged into one slice of hers - GLaDOS had whipped her own fork out of the food and slammed it against the back of his hand. Because of the weak, faulty metal the fork was made out of, it didn't do the damage she'd wanted. She had intended for it to go in one side and come out the other, crippling him for the rest of his life as tendons were scored and snapped and bones were cracked. What actually happened was that the fork went in a few fractions of an inch before all but bending and scoring off his hand.

There was blood, but it wasn't enough.

"Don't touch my cake," she said, her voice slightly lower and much more murderously focused. "If you try to take my cake, I will kill you. I will take this fork and I will put it in your eye socket, and once the eyeball has popped it will slide up into your brain. I will stab it in as far as I can, and then I will twist, and I will yank out a chunk of your brain."

She paused to take a breath.

"And that would be very unfortunate, because you seem like a very healthy human subject. So don't touch my cake."

[adevilmaycry.livejournal.com]

Dante had experienced a few people in his life who genuinely pissed him off. He had dealt with demons the size of houses; oh sure, he'd dealt with the power of the Devil, had epic battles over demonic weapons, dealt with people like Jester, and he'd been pretty fucking understanding he thought. He'd been shot in the head for saving someone's life and had guns and swords and been stabbed by Vergil but that fucking bitch just stabbed a dirty fork into his fucking hand and what the fucking goddamn hell was her problem oh she did not just do that JESUS CHRIST OW HIS HAND.

"What in the FUCK you crazy bitch!!" Dante yelled as intense pain shot from his hand to his brain and he dropped the fork and pulled his bloody hand back. She was prattling on about some shit about her goddamn fucking cake but all Dante knew was the searing pain in his right hand and the blood dripping onto the kitschy plastic tablecloth.

Well, this was new. He couldn't recall any time in recent memory where he had felt this angry and not motherfucking impressed about something happening to him. In any other instance he would have gone Devil Trigger and fucking wrecked shit, and if he didn't pity this bitch for being a goddamn human he would have killed her too. But he knew, no matter what she'd been, he had sworn not to kill humans.

"..." He wrapped some his arm bandages around the wound, glad he'd put them on, else the fork might have gone through his hand. She'd stabbed to maim.

"You're a crazy fucking bitch and I don't give a shit about your cake." he said, every syllable laced with irritation of the strongest degree.

[2cuprhubarb.livejournal.com]

GLaDOS smiled widely and awkwardly at his final statement, immediately withdrawing her fork from stabbing range and returning to the main part of the meal.

"Wonderful. Then we agree that it's my cake." She finished off the main part of her meal, pleasantly ignoring Dante. When the plate was cleaned (and it had been delicious, but there were more important things at hand), she pushed it away and pulled her cake closer.

GLaDOS cast one quick look at Dante, to make sure that he wasn't going to try and steal her cake again. Then she tightened her fingers around the (still slightly bloody) fork and dug in.

She didn't shovel the cake; she just ate very, very quickly. Each bite was savored even as she carved another piece out of a slice and onto the fork. Despite how much she savored and delighted in each bite, the cake still vanished with surprising speed. It may have partially been because of Dante's presence and the continued threat of theft, or just her hunger, or the pure desire for cake (twice gained!).

If Dante decided to say anything, she ignored him utterly until she was finally finished. Then she stared up at him with a faint and satisfied smile on her face.

Maybe she could delay the cake-hunting for tonight.

[adevilmaycry.livejournal.com]

Creepy, violent and slightly (make that mostly unbalanced)-- damn. Reminded him of Lady.

That is, if Lady ever smiled.

He boredly watched her eat the dessert (again in that perfectly controlled and robotic fashion) while starting in on some of his own cake. He savored it as some small thing he had over her; so perhaps that was why it didn't surprise him when she followed him out of the restaurant when he got a piece to go and ate it on the way to the bus.

Goddamn, he found himself keeping in line with her just in case she decided to stab his fucking spine for the cake he was eating as they walked.

Somehow, he felt sure she would if she had the chance.