damned_institute | Day 35: Twin Pines Restaurant

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Day 35: Twin Pines Restaurant

(From here!)

Artemis walked into the restaurant and glanced around at the decor. He wasn't impressed, but he wasn't disdainful either. He simply smiled. It was nice... for a town with a population of barely three hundred.

The boy smiled up at the person up front. "Two, if you please."

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"I had that retort coming, didn't I?" A moment later, he added, "Don't answer that."

Edgeworth took a few more bites of lunch. It really wasn't bad, all things considered, even if he wouldn't have otherwise ordered what he had. He mulled over the question as he did.

I do have that bottle of - oh, my God, I can't believe I'm actually thinking about fencing prescription drugs. Of course, that would be a lot easier if I actually had the bottle with me.

I could always rob a bank - it worked for the Evil Magistrate in episode 15 of the Steel Samurai, when he was in a financial pinch and held up the First National Bank of Neo Olde Tokyo.

...okay, that is a whole lot worse.

"I can think of a couple, but nothing that isn't illegal." He wrinkled his nose.

Phoenix glanced down, cutting his steak into less-than-even squares. "The only thing I can think of is trying to scalp some of our coupons, myself. Unless you had your heart set on getting a massage and a manicure today." He popped a bite of steak in his mouth, smirking.

The food was pretty good, even if he didn't usually order things that had probably been fried and still came covered in white sauce. But after all the running last night, he wasn't too worried about a few extra calories.

"However will I manage without that?" Edgeworth rolled his eyes, laughing. "Okay. I don't know if it will work, but in the absence of any better ideas, I'll go with that."

He finished off a few more bites of his meal, then pushed the plate aside. "So. We have a plan, the question is, how do we go about it? Walk into the establishments in question and then ask if they can be traded in? Go door-to-door? See if there's a bulletin board around town and post a notice there?"

If I could tack cruel and unusual punishment onto the list of crimes I plan on pinning on Landel, I would.

"Don't ask me. I think I sold candy bars once or twice as a kid, and I'm not nearly as cute now as I was then." Especially in these clothes. Geez, as if everyone in town thinking I'm nuts isn't bad enough. I'll just reinforce the 'crazy hobo' image if I'm swinging around a bottle.

"We could at least try a bar, a grocery store, something like that. Maybe there's someone who works there who could use these." He glanced out the window at a few dry leaves skittering down the street. "It's autumn, right? Christmas can't be far off. These things could work as stocking stuffers, I guess."

Great idea. I can just see the happy couple sitting around that morning:

"Oh, honey! A manicure! Did you buy this off of the mental patients?"
"For just two bottles of beer!"
"I love you, darling."

"I don't know, I think you've got a certain charm, even if you're wearing something utterly ridiculous. Just to finish the ensemble, you could even carry one of those signs around, the ones you see on the streets. You know the ones I mean."

Edgeworth smirked across the table. "You would appeal to anyone out there who likes the crazy hobo type, and even add to it by bringing a bottle with you on the rest of the trip. If nothing else, it might get the nurses to let you wear something else next time."

He finished the last of his tea and set the empty glass on the table. "This whole thing is insane, but I'm ready to start when you are."

Phoenix looked across the table flatly as he ate, expression very clearly communicating a resentful 'you bastard, you're starting to enjoy this.'

"Right, just let me finish this," he muttered, tucking away the last of the steak. As he finished, he patted his pocket instinctively, almost at the same time remembering that a wallet wasn't going to be there. Nonetheless, he went through the pouch of his sweatshirt. Nothing but a journal, a pen, coupons, and a muffin in a paper bag. Not exactly currency by any stretch of the imagination. He pulled out the little coupon booklet, tugging free the voucher for the Twin Pines meal. "Not tipping just feels wrong," he muttered unhappily, putting the edge of the slip of paper under a convenient salt shaker. He'd never really been a big tipper, and he'd certainly not-tipped before, but that was in circumstances where the service had been terrible or he suspected that the meal he'd just eaten might kill him within a day. But here, the waitress seemed like a nice person, and the service had been prompt and the food good, even though everyone there must have known they were two of the crazies from up the road who'd just drop a coupon on the table and leave.

Phoenix wasn't accustomed to being dependent upon charity, and he couldn't say he liked the feeling much.

"You can say that again." It was Edgeworth's usual custom to tip and tip well - for a while it had been a small act of rebellion against the 'we are better than everyone else' school of thought that was a staple of life in the von Karma household. After a point, it had become something he'd done without thinking too much about it. It tended to mean wait staff who didn't mind him hosting lunch meetings in their establishments, and he had taken advantage of that quite a few times.

Of course, he had usually done so in fancier establishments than this one, but a custom was a custom, and he felt more than a little guilty about not being able to go through with it now.

It's just one more layer of control they have over us. Edgeworth scowled a bit as he tore the coupon out of the little booklet and placed it on top of the one Phoenix had left. He turned to the waitress and shot her an apologetic look.

"I have half a mind to come back and leave her a few bucks once I have them," he murmured as he stood and headed for the door.

[back out the door, to here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/446999.html)]

Rising to his feet, Phoenix turned to follow Edgeworth out, still frowning. The waitress seemed to have caught the apologetic look, and had smiled at them in a perfectly nice, perfectly untroubled way that Phoenix suddenly realized he couldn't accept.

"I'll be right there," he muttered, pulling free the burger coupon as well before whipping out his journal and thumbing it open to a blank page in the middle. He pulled out his pen, uncapping it with his teeth and jotting out a quick note in tight, neat handwriting.

I'm sorry this isn't much, but I don't have much else to tip with. At least have an ice cream on me us.

Thanks,
P.W.

He tore out the page, put it down on the table with the coupon, and caught up with Edgeworth at the door.

Edited 2008-09-15 04:05 (UTC)

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Day 35: Twin Pines Restaurant

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